


Link's Fabulous Flashback Montage

by ObakeAri



Series: Courage to Love [3]
Category: Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity (Video Game), The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dating, Developing Relationship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, In which Nami assembles an army of dads, It's all good in the neighborhood, Just don't tell Link he's secretly poly, Link and Revali are bastards but they're each other's bastards, M/M, Memories, Multi, Nami is the best girl, Past Revalink, Recovered Memories, Sequel, Sidon and Link are the cutest couple, The sequel no one asked for that's also a prequel to the sequel no one asked for, While Link and Sidon work through Link remembering his past relationship, sidlink - Freeform, what happened in those two years between the Bood Moon and the Epilogue of SEPA, when I announced a SEPA sequel 3 years ago this is probably what we were all hoping for
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:02:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 126,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25452835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObakeAri/pseuds/ObakeAri
Summary: “Link!” Sidon called to him when he came out of the flashback just as suddenly. Those...fucking eyes still burning into his soul for entirely different reasons now. As he came to, he found Sidon holding him by the shoulders, looking concerned. Zelda stood beside Sidon, her brow knit with worry, and Nami, balanced carefully on his hip, stared up at him with a confused expression.“I…” Link blinked a couple of times, trying to shake the memory and the pool of warmth now bubbling in his stomach away. Then that flood of arousal boiled into a sudden, white hot fury as he shot a glare to the only person between the four of them who could actually answer his question: “I FUCKED REVALI!?"
Relationships: Link/Prince Sidon, Link/Revali (Legend of Zelda)
Series: Courage to Love [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/747291
Comments: 77
Kudos: 228





	1. Gays are in the Eyes of the Beholder

**Author's Note:**

> ...................
> 
> Why, when I have a 45+ chapter fic, a prequel fic, and 2 other side fics I wanna tackle within the same series, am I starting THIS shit show as a project? 
> 
> I don't know either. But we're here. And we only have Alex and Lava to blame for this because these two bastards are the ones who got me on the Revalink train and if Sidon's getting a(n almost) past relationship, then Link's fucking the bird. Fight me. And by fight me, I mean validate me because I want to continue on this disaster train in the form of maintaining 3 active fics RIGHT BEFORE THE SCHOOL YEAR STARTS BUT I MIGHT GET COVID SO I GOTTA GET THESE IDEAS OUT NOW BEFORE I FIND OUT THE STATE DIDN'T GIVE MY DISTRICT THE PPE THEY PROMISED BECAUSE THEY PROBABLY WON'T. 
> 
> Uhhhh, on that dank ass note. Enjoy some bullshit that was supposed to just be a series of flashback within a flashback scenes in FGA but got out of hand. :')

_ “Mipha, I’m gay.” _

_ The words fell out of Link’s mouth like bags of sand and he immediately wanted to vomit. He stood there on the landing, facing his best friend in the entire world. He watched her tremble violently, near tears as she bore her heart to him and confessed her feelings for him. He had told himself once that he could be there for Mipha, that he could marry her, love her the way she deserved to be loved. And yet, in the moment of truth, the truth spilled out of him like venom and he didn’t know how the hell he got to this point.  _

_ Well...he did. It was because of that dumb fucking bird.  _

_ It started with a nudge. And by a nudge, he really meant that Revali almost shoved him off the landing when he all but tossed Link onto Mipha. Then, because he was dramatic, he threatened to throw Link off the landing if the two of them didn’t “confess what had been on their minds.”  _

_ Link knew damn well that he was just trying to get Mipha to spill her feelings, but that didn’t mean Link was ready to spill the reasons as to  _ why _ he was physically unable to return them. _

_ He stood there, feeling his knees start to buckle under him, and Mipha remained silent. When he looked up to meet her gaze, he saw tears flowing freely from her eyes.  _

_ “Oh no,” Link blurted loudly, feeling himself start to cry when he lifted his hands to sign, “Oh, Mipha, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry--” _

_ “It’s okay!” Mipha shook her head, trying to rub at her eyes. “It--Link, that’s totally okay! I’m just stress crying at this point, I swear!”  _

_ “Ohhhh, Mipha,” Link whined out loud, wanting to throw up. “I--oh fuck--I’m sorry--” _

_ He didn’t realize he was crying until Mipha was pulling him into the warmest, tightest embrace. Almost immediately, he relaxed in her arms. Her hugs were always a safe haven and she held him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her waist and clung to her for dear life. By the time Link buried his face into Mipha’s shoulder, he sucked in a breath and let out a quiet sob.  _

_ “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Link blurted. He wanted to explain everything. He wanted to tell her that he  _ did _ love her, just not in the way she needed. Not in the way that he deserved. As much as he wanted to stay in the closet and just give her what she wanted, to do so would’ve been a complete and utter betrayal to her heart. And that wasn’t fair.  _

_ “Link, it’s okay,” Mipha hiccupped, “Ohhhh, I don’t even know why I’m crying now!”  _

_ “M-my fault?” Link asked, his voice a broken mess.  _

_ “No, no, it’s not you,” Mipha whimpered. “I’m just...oh, Link, I’m just so embarrassed, I--I swear I’m not upset with you I just...it’s a lot to even tell you how I feel and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship because my feelings for you got the best of me and! Link, I’m sorry!” _

_ “H-hey,” Link stuttered, squeezing her tightly. He only pulled out of the hug so he could rely on his hands to talk to her, but he paused to wipe a few stray tears out of her eyes. “You have every right to be upset. I...I want  _ so badly _ to love you, Mipha. And I do love you, it's just…” _

_ “It’s not the same for you,” Mipha hummed, rubbing her eyes dry. “Ohhhhh, okay. I--hmm--I’m sorry, this might take a moment.” _

_ “Take all the time you need,” Link signed delicately. He couldn’t help but notice a few nosy Rito and Zora eyes peering down on the two of them curiously. He felt fairly confident that Mipha was soft-spoken enough and Link was mute enough that they couldn’t hear the conversation, but that only meant that a prying eye or two would try to creep closer and listen in soon if they weren’t careful. Taking hold of her hand, he offered, “Let’s get up to a more  _ private _ spot so we can have a good cry and maybe a drink.” _

_ Mipha spat up a laugh at that, but then said, “Link, I don’t think we can get away with that.” _

_ Link bit back his own laughter at that. It was true, he was only eighteen and freshly enlisted in Hyrule’s military. Mipha wasn’t much older than him, either. But Zora were a little more relaxed on those things and King Dorephan always managed to have a bottle of wine on him. “Your dad would probably let us.” _

_ Mipha snorted a laugh at that, giving him a famously toothy grin that only Link and a few of her close friends got to see, “Oh! Stop that, Link!”  _

_ Link giggled at her in response, guiding her up the stairs to where the delegations were all staying. He couldn’t help but fall into step with Mipha, still holding her hand. She squeezed his in return, and honestly he didn’t mind. They had always leaned on each other for support. They always held each other’s hands for support. And Link felt a strange weightlessness overcome him when he realized he could still be affectionate with his best friend and still remain just friends without leading her on.  _

_ Unfortunately for Link, that weightlessness quickly washed away when they rounded the corner and a punk ass Rito spun around and blockaded them with his piercing emerald gaze.  _

_ “And  _ where _ are you two going?!” Revali spat. “Have you talked? Is this a thing?” _

_ “Uhhhh,” Mipha drawled, “So Revali--” _

_ “No! No! No!” Revali squawked, trying to spin the two of them back around. “Go back and get this whole to-do off your chests now because I’m not dealing with another moment of you two just... _ oggling _ each other! It sickens me!”  _

_ “Or you could say,” Link grinned deviously as he signed, “It...ruffles your feathers?” _

_ Revali let out a frustrated squawk and his feathers literally did ruffle as he glared down at Link. Letting out a pathetic little growl, he tried pushing Link down the stairs and shouted, “Just confess already, dammit!”  _

_ “Revali! Revali!” Mipha pleaded, getting between them. “Stop this! We talked it out already.” _

_ “You--you did?” Revali blinked in confusion, and Link looked up at those...frustratingly beautiful eyes. “Then why aren’t you two making out?” _

_ “Revali,” Mipha deflated.  _

_ “What? I’m just saying everybody knows that you two are the hot commodity here and--MMFF!” Revali was starting to chirp in the midst of his snooty banter and they were drawing more attention. So Link took the liberty to rid himself of his boot and his sock just to shove his sock into Revali’s beak.  _

_ “Why don’t you shut your trap for fifteen fucking seconds so we can explain it to you?!” Link snarked aloud. Then he held up his boot and threatened, “In private. Or I’m aiming this at your head.” _

_ “You’d be lucky if you even got within five feet of your target,” Revali rolled his eyes. “But fine, whatever. Come along I guess and you can explain to me why this unspoken nonsense between you two isn’t being acted upon.” _

_ “Ohhhhh, Revali, you can be difficult sometimes,” Mipha hummed, her patience thinning ever so slightly. Link immediately felt a pit form in his stomach as he followed the Rito Warrior to his little nest-like apartment. Did he want to come out to Revali? Fuck no. Did he really have another option to explain why he wasn’t about to tap Mipha’s sweet sweet cloaca? (Ovipositor? Vagina? He didn’t understand Zora anatomy that well and was too afraid to ask?) _

_ Well...Link really didn’t because Revali wasn’t going to accept any sort of straight explanation to this. And. Okay,  _ fine, _ if Revali turned his beak up to Link for just saying who he was then Link could get over that. Link had watched enough family members - loved ones...his  _ father _ \- spout shit that told Link exactly where they would stand if he came out to them. He had already mentally checked out of several relationships because of that. He could deal with Revali throwing him out the window.  _

_ He just couldn’t deal with the way Revali’s eyes widened in shock. Then, in a startled squawk, he blurted, “Why in the hell did you not tell me this?!” _

_ “I--” Link stuttered, then forced himself to wear a sour look on his face and sign, “It was none of your business!” _

_ “None of my business?!” Revali balked, “You’ve been lying to me!” _

_ “I’m fucking gay!” Link screamed, offended. “And my dad’s a fucking asshole! And you’re the loudest mother fucker I’ve ever met! Why the  _ fuck _ would I tell you!?” _

_ “Because it’s an important development!” Revali’s feathers shed a little as he threw his hands in the air. “What, you think I wouldn’t care to know?” _

_ “Only for gossip!” Link snarled back. Revali shook his head a little, his eyes piercing into Link’s soul with his glare. He...he almost looked hurt by Link’s statement. Sad, even.  _

_ “You have some nerve!” Revali snarled. “To assume that I would do such a thing!” _

_ “Well,” Mipha blurted, tilting her head to the side a bit. “You….do tend to run your mouth quite a bit.” _

_ “Princess, I’ll have you know that I hold secrets like a canary holds onto her song!” Revali snapped at Mipha.  _

_ “Yeah, only to mock me like a mockingbird,” Link bit under his breath, folding his arms over his chest. He was tired of this argument. He was already drained from breaking Mipha’s heart and dumping his deepest darkest secret to her in the process, he didn’t need Revali to be preening himself on whether or not he could actually make this about him.  _

_ He fucking hated Revali. He hated that he even had to associate with this asshole because of his status as a knight. All he did was find the fucking sword by accident, it wasn’t like he could wield it! Glowering at Revali while the bastard ran his mouth, Link hated it even more that he couldn’t ignore the way his feathers danced in the light or the way those deep green eyes kept flitting over to Link with an unreadable expression.  _

* * *

Link sat up with a gasp, his stomach in deeper knots than the day he came out to Mipha. The only thing that kept him from waking from the dream in a full panic was the Zora-sized anxiety blanket laying on top of him. 

Specifically, the Sidon-sized anxiety blanket. 

It was Sidon. Sidon was the walking anxiety blanket for Link when he slept. 

The prince in question stirred a little, letting out a groan as he lifted his head. Another tired hum, and Sidon nuzzled Link’s stomach with his snout then opened his eyes, “What’s….wrong?”

“Ah,” Link grunted, looking around the room. The cool night air danced in through the window of their room at the inn, and if he looked over to the other bed in the room, he could see a tiny blue Zora laying face-down on her pillow. 

Nami...sweet, sweet little Nami. Link felt his heart squeeze at the sight of her. He could vividly remember the day he fell in love with her, not too long ago. She had been sick, Sidon had been hopelessly lost and unsure how to care for her. But she still climbed up his arms like a jungle gym to peer down into the soup pot Link was cooking in that evening. In one moment, Link thought he was just helping a friend take care of the little girl he was babysitting. In the next moment, he looked up at two pairs of golden eyes and wagging tails and it was over for him. 

Nami wasn’t the only Zora Link fell in love with that night, either. 

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Sidon hummed, lifting his head more so that Link could clearly see the sleepy, sparkling gaze of his loving boyfriend. They had only been dating for six months at that point, and six months seemed to fly by so fast. Yet, it felt like they had been together for over a lifetime at this point. 

“I...had a dream…” Link admitted, his voice catching in his throat. At the sound of his broken tones, Sidon lifted his head a little more. And just like in his dream, Link felt like someone was piercing into his soul. Except for sharp emerald eyes, it was a set of soft golden ones. Turning to check on Nami where she slept, Sidon sat up further and freed his hands from under Link. 

“What was it about?” Sidon signed quietly, his hands dancing beautifully in the moonlight. The first time he signed to Link, a simple “I love you” from across the Domain, Link hadn’t imagined that anything could be as beautiful as the silk of his voice. But then he learned that Sidon’s hands could weave words so effortlessly, he felt like he was watching a pair of ballroom dancers waltz elegantly down the hall. 

Link was so incredibly lucky to be loved by such a big, beautiful dork. 

“It...it was about the day I came out to Mipha,” Link admitted, feeling his eyes grow wet. He’d had dreams about that night so many times before, ever since he regained the memory. He had recalled two memories in succession when it happened: the first of course when she confessed her feelings and Link had to admit how gay he was to his best friend, the second was the night before the Calamity, when she offered him the Zora armor. Up until now,, Link thought the two memories were one in the same. 

_ “Please,” she said with a trembling voice. “I...I know it’s not my place, but I want you to have it. It will protect you should anything happen to me.” _

_ As the sun set over the Domain, Link couldn’t help but notice how her eyes reflected the horizon. She wasn’t crying this time, but rather, she smiled warmly at him. Link felt his chest swell, unable to contain his own joy. In so many ways, Mipha was and always would be the love of his life. Maybe not in the romantic sense, but the two of them had learned over time that the love of a friend - a platonic soulmate - was just as potent. _

_ “Thanks, Mipha,” Link smiled, placing a hand on the armor, tracing the intricate designs with his fingertips before he signed. “But how about we wait until we come back from the Spring of Wisdom before I wear this. We should...at least explain to your parents what’s going on before your dad tries to throw us an engagement party.” _

_ At that, Mipha sputtered out a sudden boom of laughter. She normally kept her laughter stifled in soft giggles for she felt like her belly laughs were too obnoxious or overbearing. At least, that’s what the elders told her. Those old farts could be damned though, for he thought her laughter was among the most pleasant sounds in the world when she looked up to Link, with sparkling eyes and said, “I think that’s a fair point. Well, shall we get ready to leave?” _

_ “Sure,” Link grinned, leading the princess up the stairs, “But I think Bazz had something to ask you real quick.” _

  
  


Link shook himself a little as the flashback flooded his memory again. When he glanced back up, he saw the same golden twinkle he loved so much, but now in Sidon’s eyes. Except these eyes were laced with worry. 

“Link?” Sidon whispered quietly, brushing hair behind Link’s ears. “Did you remember something else about that night?”

Nodding his head numbly, Link struggled to even sign, “The night I came out to Mipha...I thought it had been the night before the Calamity.”

“That...is what you told me once,” Sidon signed back, nodding his own head. “Was that not correct?”

“We were in the Domain the night before it happened, right?” Link felt his brow furrowing when he asked the question. “Because I remember her showing me the armor.”

“Uhm,” Sidon hummed in thought at that. He had been so young when he lost his sister, so his memory of certain details was about as reliable as Link’s at times. Normally, that hardly mattered. But it did cause...some confusion that they could’ve been otherwise spared of. Like right now. At this very moment. When it dawned on Link that Mipha must’ve known he was gay for a lot longer than they originally thought...and she didn’t think to spill those details to Sidon when she had a very poignant and otherworldly chance to do so half a year before. Finally, Sidon lifted his hands and answered, “I...I remember sitting on my sister’s lap the night before you two left with the other Champions to the Spring of Wisdom. At least that’s where she told me she was going. Would that have been the night you came out to her?”

“I...well, that was the night she gave me the armor,” Link explained. “But in my dream...the night I came out to her, we were in Rito Village.”

There was the faintest flicker of recognition in Sidon’s eyes and he gasped, “Well...wait, my sister only visited Rito Village with Father. Normally, we would only rendezvous with the Rito in Central Hyrule or they would fly to us.”

“Y-yeah, Mipha and I usually traveled around with Zelda and the other champions, but I only remember visiting their homes independently,” Link nodded his head. “Which is why I’m confused.”

“I’ll say,” Sidon grunted in a whisper, caught himself and gazed over to where Nami slept to ensure he hadn’t woken her up, then signed, “If you had come out to her in Rito Village, that would’ve easily been six months before she gave you the armor.”

“Mmmm,” Link hummed nervously. “Try two years.”

“I--what?” Sidon blinked. 

“I was eighteen and didn’t have the sword,” Link wanted to disappear under the covers when he said it. “At least...I was in my dream?”

“You--” Sidon balked, shook his head, and sighed, “Huh. Okay.”

“Is that...okay?” Link asked, batting his eyelashes up at Sidon nervously. The entirety of their relationship at this point had been founded on the fact that they were just now coming out of the closet and learning about themselves just as much as they were learning about each other. So...if Link had been out for way longer, if he had a solid grip on his sexuality after all - if he had had a  _ love life _ before Sidon - would things change? Would they be okay?”

“Link,” Sidon gently cupped Link’s cheek in his hand. “Of  _ course _ it’s okay. There’s so much you still don’t remember about your past. I know that. I only wish I could help you more.”

Leaning into his boyfriend’s touch, Link felt a sigh of relief bubble out of him. “Trust me, Sidon. Just having you here helps more than you could imagine.”

Sidon’s sweet little smile returned at that. Pulling Link in for a gentle kiss on the forehead, he could feel Sidon purring as the prince hummed, “Then let’s get some sleep. We can piece together these memories in the morning over some coffee.”

“Oh Hylia, I love you,” Link melted into Sidon’s chest at the thought of getting coffee in the morning before climbing the path up to Rito Village. Laying his head back down on the pillow, Link hugged his boyfriend tightly. Sidon, in turn, rumbled with purrs as he settled back into sleep like the Zora anxiety blanket he was. Link could’ve drifted off to a dreamless slumber without a care in the world. In fact, he desperately wanted to. But there was a new, nagging thought in the back of his mind. 

Why couldn’t he get the thought of Revali’s piercing eyes out of his head? 

* * *

Evidently, Link was doomed to remember  _ why _ Revali’s emerald gaze was so poignant in his mind. He was forcefully plunged into the flashback in broad daylight, holding his daughter in his arms and his loss of balance almost sent both of them tumbling down the stairs. 

“Link!” Sidon called to him when he came out of the flashback just as suddenly. Those... _ fucking eyes _ still burning into his soul for entirely different reasons now. As he came to, he found Sidon holding him by the shoulders, looking concerned. Zelda stood beside Sidon, her brow knit with worry, and Nami, balanced carefully on his hip, stared up at him with a confused expression. 

“I…” Link blinked a couple of times, trying to shake the memory and the pool of warmth now bubbling in his stomach away. Then that flood of arousal boiled into a sudden, white hot fury as he shot a glare to the only person between the four of them who could actually answer his question: “I  _ fucked _ Revali!?” 

“Oh--” Zelda mouthed, then she processed the question that was still echoing through a village of now frozen Rito, and her face paled as she hissed, “For heaven’s sake, Link, keep your voice down!” 

“NO!” Link shrieked, straightening himself and adjusting a now  _ very confused _ Minami in his arms. “You knew didn’t you! When the fuck did I fuck Revali!?”

“LINK!” Zelda covered her face, now turning bright red. “Do you have to have this discussion  _ now?” _

“Well, I’m sorry I can’t control when I get clobbered upside the head with a sexually frustrating flashback!” 

“Okay, well maybe be a little more delicate when you’re blurting this shit in front of your boyfriend and your daughter!” Zelda screamed back. At that, Link paused, feeling his face turn a brighter shade of red than it already was. He met Sidon’s gaze, and his boyfriend had a blank, wide-eyed expression on his face. 

“S-Sidon?” Link felt his voice leave him in that moment. Oh no. 

Oh  _ no. _

Link didn’t deserve a man like Sidon, for this patient, loving man was righting himself and blinking fervently as if he was trying to hide a very sudden and very intense anxiety spike. Keeping his voice even, he finally said, “Well...we both knew something like this was bound to come up.”

“B-but--” Link was forcing himself to say the words because he didn’t want to put Nami down. Holy fuck, he fucked Revali. He--no! Why was this happening? Why was this coming to him when he was  _ just now _ getting used to having a family without fear of being deserted? 

“But what?” Sidon shrugged simply, as if he were trying to outlogic the emotions burning behind his eyes. “Link, you had an entire life before the Calamity - twenty years worth! - it’s not surprising that you had some kind of relationship before me.”

“Yeah but,” Link was really starting to panic. He could not, for the life of him, get the image of Revali out of his mind! “Sidon, I fucked a  _ bird!” _

“Link, I’m a shark,” Sidon huffed plainly. “Your past relations don’t change how you feel about me now, do they?”

“N-no?”

“Then we’re okay,” Sidon managed a smile, in spite of it all. “It’s okay, Love.”

“But….” Link dared to look down at Nami who admittedly shouldn’t have been allowed to overhear this conversation because while she was mostly silent, he could see the gears turning. She was processing something intently, and he didn’t think it was anything good. “What if there’s more to this? What if I…?”

Link glanced up at Zelda who was avoiding eye contact. Oh no, there was more to the story. 

“Zelda,” Link begged. “Please.”

“It’s not good for your health to have memories forced onto you,” Zelda coughed. 

“It’s not--the fuck do you think just happened to me!?” Link snarled. 

“Okay, okay, calm down,” Sidon held his hands up. “Let’s just table the rest of this conversation for when we have a  _ private moment _ .”

“But Sidon--”

“Link,” Sidon met Link’s panicked gaze with such  _ love _ , and Link felt his anxiety start to calm down. “If there was more to your relationship, we’ll work through it. But as it stands now, how do you  _ actually _ feel about Revali?”

At that, Link felt his nose scrunch as a visceral, subconscious reaction flooded out of him: “Revali’s a little fucking bitch who can suck my dick!” 

“Link!” Zelda hissed, and Link realized too late that his voice was echoing again. But also, the thought of feeling  _ anything _ for Revali only made him irrationally angry. And he didn’t know why. 

Fuck Revali. 

“What?!” he snapped. “He can!”

“And apparently he did,” Sidon smacked his hand to his face. “So let’s...let’s just get going, okay?”

“Wait, I have a question,” Nami blurted suddenly, breaking her peculiar silence. Suddenly the three adults froze, a mutual worry settling on all of them. Sidon was quick to bend forward and put on a reassuring smile. 

“Sweetheart, I promise things are fine between me and Papa,” Sidon smiled warmly. “Papa just has some memories to work through, and we’ll help him, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I got all that,” Nami wiggled indignantly in Link’s arms. Then her tail started wagging. “But who’s Revali?”

“Revali’s--” Link started, but several residual flashes struck his vision for a moment. Feeling his ears droop, Link couldn’t quite explain why his anger melted into sadness. “He was the Rito Champion a hundred years ago, Nami.”

Nami blinked several times, and Link saw the exact moment the lightbulb went off: “Does this mean I have  _ three _ dads?”

Link almost dropped his daughter in shock. 

What? 

_ What?! _

“What?” Link reared. 

“Well, if you’re dating Dad,” Nami pointed at him, “And you’re my second Dad, but then you dated  _ somebody else! _ I have three dads, right?”

“Minami,” Sidon sucked in an annoyed gasp, then grimaced and went on a separate thread to try and get her off this tangent, “Honey, you already have three dads.”

“No I don’t!” Nami spun back around to face him. “Or I thought I didn’t!”

“Nami, you have a biological father,” Sidon smacked his hand to his face, “Who loved you very very much. You’ve  _ had _ three dads.”

“Yeah, but he’s dead!”

“So is Revali!” 

The gasp that left Nami’s mouth and continued to increase in pitch for a full five seconds filled Link with an unholy dread he never knew before: “DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE  _ FOUR _ DADS!?”

“NAMI!” 

“It’s an honest question!” Naim’s tail was wagging a mile a minute. “Dad! Do you understand what this means?! I can assemble an entire  _ army  _ of dads! Like a--like a  _ syndicate _ of dads!” 

“A syndicate--” Sidon balked, “That’s a very good word but  _ where _ did you learn that word!?”

“Mmmmmmuzu,” Nami was rocking excitedly in Link’s arms by this point. “So? Do I have four dads or what?”

“Honey, for all intents and purposes,  _ please _ just stick to two,” Sidon begged. 

“But you just said I’ve always had  _ three!” _

“I know what I said!” Sidon’s voice increased in both pitch and volume as he lost control of the situation. “And--yes, okay,  _ yes _ , you’re correct but there is no  _ army _ of dads.”

“Well, not yet,” Nami pouted, leaning back into Link’s chest as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her tail was still wagging, though the cadence slowed into something more contemplative. That couldn’t be good. “I’ll get four dads one way or another.”

While Link continued having an internal meltdown and Sidon tried and failed to get her off this train of thought, Zelda burst out into a fit of laughter, “My word, Nami! You’re such a glutton!” 

“Well, all I’m sayiiiing, is one dad is great! Two dads has been even  _ better,” _ Nami hummed, sounding like she was some kind of fucking Dad Investor, “I have yet to find the threshold where lots of dads stops being fun! I have theories to test, Aunt Zellie!”

Zelda kept laughing, offering to take Nami into her arms so Link could have his rage quit properly - wrapped in blankets and away from the public - and said, “You’re sounding like quite the little scientist, you know that?”

“Science is my favorite subject!” Nami cheered, shooting her hands in the air. “I love experiments!” 

“Uh-huh,” Sidon placed his hands on his hips, riding the amusement of the moment. “Is that why you keep sneaking tadpoles into your room?”

“It’s getting cold outside, Daddy!” Nami protested. “They’re fine! I promise!” 

Sidon hummed in disbelief at that, but the conversation thankfully turned away from Link’s current predicament. He held it together for a little while longer, following his family to the spot where they wanted to have lunch. Still, Link couldn’t help but cling to Sidon’s hand for support. And just...reassurance that things would be okay.

“I’m sorry,” Link finally blurted, feeling tears welling in his eyes. “I--I didn’t know--”

“Link, I love you,” Sidon said gently, wrestling his hand out of Link’s only so he could wrap his arm around the Hylian’s shoulders. “This doesn’t change anything from my end.”

“It doesn’t?” Link asked anxiously. “But...what about me?”

At that, Sidon frowned and those precious golden eyes got a little heavy, “I’m more worried about whatever it is you have yet to grieve for.”

Link glanced down, feeling so... _ uncertain _ of what he was feeling now. Why was he so angry? Why was he so...why was he so sad?

Why did he want to punch Revali so hard in the beak? 

“I’m not going anywhere, Link,” Sidon reminded him. “Whatever you need from me, I’m here, okay?”

“I just don’t know what I need right now,” Link whined. “Why did I fuck  _ Revali?” _

Sidon shrugged, his lips pursing when he guessed, “You like drumsticks?”

“Sidon--”

“Whaaaaat? You kept calling my dicks fishsticks for like a week after we first had sex,” Sidon stated dryly. “Well, at least consciously.”

“Sidon!” 

“Now  _ my _ question is how evolution has changed things over the years between the Rito--”

“SIDON!” Link covered his face, humiliated when he realized the smug expression on Sidon’s face meant he knew  _ exactly _ what he was doing. “You’re sounding like your father.”

“I’m not saying I’m proud to be pulling a Dorephan,” Sidon snickered. “But I will say that his tactics are rather effective in pulling you out of your head.”

“I hate you sometimes.”

“I love you too!” Sidon chirped. “And if Revali was as much of a masochist as you say he was, it’s no wonder your hateful proclamations wooed him.”

“SIDON!”

“I’m trying to make you feel better!” 


	2. Nami the First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link is struggling to recall the memories surrounding Revali. Bazz has a few clues that could help but....well, Link is in denial of ever fucking a bird and news of a new children's series sweeping across Hyrule has everyone a little distracted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaaaack~ 
> 
> Some good news: boyfriend is (mostly) moved in! The last of his furniture arrives tomorrow but most of his stuff is here, the house is clean for the first time since my old roommate moved in (she was a hot mess, but she moved into her own place and I'm wishing her the best!), and it is just. The start of the rest of our lives and I could not be happier! 
> 
> Some better news (that I can't remember if I shared already): those of you following FGA might know that I had a health scare a little over a month ago. Well, tests all came back normal so I am healthy as a quarantined clam can be! 
> 
> Even BETTER news: those of you who've followed me know I'm a teacher and in the world of covid-19, my school district made the decision to start school online and we'll be online until at LEAST October! While I'm really bummed that I won't get to see my kids in person, I'm glad that we all have the chance to stay safe and at home. I'm even luckier that my boyfriend's working from home indefinitely and his nursing classes are online this semester as well. That decision has been made for him for a while, but I just got the call from my district as of last week and needless to say, we both cried in relief. But ANYWAY! Here's more of my dumb shit. 
> 
> I'll be honest, my update schedule might be a little screwy until I can get into the groove of the school year starting because. I'll have a work schedule but I also won't have a work schedule? It's gonna be weird, guys. 
> 
> In any case, here's my hot take of a fic about how Link fucked Revali before he got it in with Sidon. And while you're here, have my SCALDING take over why Bazz keeps 99.9% of his personal life to himself but has no problems getting up in Sidon's business. *cough* Enjoy.

Link had been having more nightmares lately. 

At first, Sidon would stir to his boyfriend tossing and turning lightly underneath, but more recently, he started mumbling in his sleep. 

But then those mumbles turned into cries for help.

“N-no…” Link whined, jolting Sidon awake. “...Vali don’t--”

Sidon felt his eyes snap to alertness. For a moment, he saw a flash of orange scales in his periphery. No….that couldn’t be.

“Link?” Sidon asked, “Who are you talking about?”

Under him, Link rolled over onto his side and whined, “Revali you stupid fucking  _ bird _ don’t go--”

Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Sidon couldn’t help but sigh. Ah...he was dreaming about Revali again. Sidon frowned and decided to shake his boyfriend awake. 

“Link, honey, wake up,” Sidon pleaded, “It’s just a dream, you’re okay.”

“Revali-- _ STOP!” _ Link shouted, starting to thrash back and forth. 

“Link,” Sidon placed a kiss to Link’s cheek. “Wake  _ up!” _

_ “REVALI!” _ Link shrieked suddenly, sitting up with a start. Heaving, he looked around and was completely disoriented. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, Link gasped, “W-where!?”

“It was a nightmare, Link,” Sidon said sympathetically, brushing tears out of his boyfriend’s bleary eyes. “You’re safe.”

“But where’s…” Link blinked around, catching his bearings. Suddenly, his face fell, “Oh.”

“Link, I’m sorry,” Sidon sighed, 

“N-no,” Link stuttered, pushing Sidon’s hand away to rub at his eyes, “I’m the one who’s sorry I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“If I were to guess, you have some more memories hiding from you,” Sidon noted, brushing Link’s hair out with his claws. “Likely for good reasons, too.”

“I don’t know why,” Link shook his head, leaning into Sidon’s chest. Sidon could only hold him. 

“I might have a few guesses as to why,” Sidon noted, giving his boyfriend a gentle squeeze.

“Sidon,” Link’s eyes flitted upwards to Sidon in annoyance. Sidon simply held his breath. Of all the things to have their first fight over, was Link’s denial about his  _ apparently obvious _ feelings for Revali about to be one of them? “It wasn’t like that between us.”

“Link,” Sidon felt his gills inflate. “All I’m saying is that what you went through was incredibly traumatic and mourning loved ones is--”

“Sidon,” Link covered his face, all but ending the discussion with a screeching halt. “Stop. I’m fine.”

“You’re having nightmares, you’re clearly not fine,” Sidon muttered to himself as he rolled his eyes. Apparently the comment was less than appreciated, because now Link was pointedly rolling out from under Sidon to sleep  _ next _ to him on the bed. 

“Goodnight,” Link mumbled dryly, claiming a pillow for himself as he turned to his side. 

“Link,” Sidon frowned, settling down against a pillow that smelled nothing like Link. Hell, at this rate, his boyfriend should just kick him out of bed and into the sleeping pool if that’s how it was going to be. “Please, be reasonable--”

“I said goodnight!” Link snapped, folding part of his pillow over the side of his face to block out any more of Sidon’s voice. 

“Well, fine!” Sidon snapped, collapsing face first into his own pillow with a huff. The couple said nothing after that, but as pissy as Link was being about this ordeal, Sidon couldn’t really stay mad at him for long. The moment his boyfriend turned back towards him and reached out in his sleep, Sidon was back to cradling his little Hylian in his arms and they fell back into a deep slumber together.

* * *

Well, Sidon slept well. Link looked like a walking zombie the next day. To make matters worse, Father seemed to have an opinion on the matter. 

“What if you just opened up about your own grief?” he asked out of the blue. Well, it wasn’t out of the blue, it was in response to Sidon’s venting. But it felt out of the blue because advice hadn’t been exactly what he wanted in that moment. 

“What grief?” Sidon grunted, not bothering to look up from his paperwork.

“What grief?” Dad repeated, his exasperated tone echoing in the office a little. “Oh gee, Son, you could take your pick of the plenty there!”

“Father,” Sidon shook his head, laughing a little. “I assure you, I’m right as reign and have no one to grieve over--”

“Your sister?” Dad raised a skeptical eyebrow. Sidon felt his smile fall.

“I’ve found closure with that,” Sidon pointedly straightened out the stack of papers in his hands before passing it over to his father. He’d found beyond closure in regards to his sister, especially after her  _ spirit _ of all things awakened just to save his sorry--

“Your mother?” Dad pressed, and Sidon almost felt a growl escape. “Or what of Nami’s parents? Or what of  _ Vali?” _

“Dad,  _ stop,” _ Sidon snapped at the very mention of Vali’s name. He’d pushed those memories out of his mind long ago. “I don’t need to dwell on that.”

“You don’t need to--” Dad  _ balked _ before scoffing, “Sidon! You have lost just as much if not  _ more _ than Link has in the last hundred years! You deserve to know what happened between him and Revali, but Link also needs to know how much your friend meant to you! How much  _ Nikko _ meant--”

“Don’t say that name!” Sidon recoiled suddenly, rising to his feet before he could even account for his racing heart and burning eyes. Thinking of Vali was agony. But thinking of  _ Nikko _ was….he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. His mother made her choice when Sidon made his and he needed to just forget. He needed to stop crying over  _ that _ when he had a little girl to raise. 

“S-Sidon,” Dad sighed so softly, Sidon almost wondered if his father’s heart had broken a little bit. “You can mourn for that loss, Son. Please, allow yourself to do so.”

“I have nothing to mourn, Father,” Sidon shook his head fervently. “I--I need to be there for Link. That’s all.”

“Sidon, don’t shoulder this alone, you have a family,” Dad pressed. “If you truly want to be there for Link, I am  _ telling _ you that sharing your past with him will go a long way in helping you  _ both.” _

“Father, I appreciate the input, but I really best be going,” Sidon blurted quickly. He needed to get out of this office and out of his head. He felt bad for pushing his dad away but he...his people didn’t need to see a grumpy guppy for a prince. They needed a leader. A positive leader. 

His daughter needed a positive father. 

His boyfriend needed….well, a boyfriend that wasn’t weighed down by his past. 

So Sidon forced himself to make some rounds, put on a smile, and he was feeling more and more like himself again when he sensed Bazz side-stepping up to him. 

“Good morning, Captain!” Sidon greeted jovially. “How are things?”

“Oh, everything checks out,” Bazz hummed, then eyed Sidon with a pointed gaze, “You’re awfully chipper this morning.”

“It’s a chipper day,” Sidon shrugged. “The sun is shining, the kids are playing, Vah Ruta is tame as ever…”

“And you’re wearing that fake ass grin again for the first time in over a year,” Bazz mocked Sidon’s tone and the prince felt his posture slipping. “Seriously, Prince, what’s going on?”

“As I said, everything is fine,” Sidon shook his head, “I promise.”

“Uh-huh,” Bazz leaned up against his trident a little. “Well, you’re not you unless you’re fidgeting about something and I’m not about to watch you go pin straight for another what….was it six years?”

“Bazz,” Sidon felt himself shifting his weight a little as the Captain,  _ of all people, _ decided to call him out. 

“I’m not saying, I’m just saying,” Bazz pointed out. “After a certain bitch who can’t be named decided to fuck you over, you kinda just…” -pausing to straighten himself, Bazz put on the dumbest fake grin Sidon had ever seen and all but  _ mocked  _ him- “Oh hello! Everything is great! You’re doing stupendously! Nothing can ever go wrong!”

_ “Captain Bazz!” _ Sidon felt himself snapping finally. “Must you mock me when we are in  _ public?!” _

“What, you don’t like my Depressed Prince impression?” Bazz asked. “I could do a pretty decent Bitchy Link if you want a good laugh.”

“No thanks!” Sidon threw his hands up. “My word! You are insufferable today.”

At that, Bazz let out a laugh and his gaze softened into something Sidon saw often but never could recognize. If he had seen that twinkle in someone like...Mipha, perhaps he’d recognize that gleam as something like fondness. But Bazz was….well, Bazz was Sidon’s friend and comrade in battle. Bazz was also Sidon’s sense of self-preservation at times, and Sidon was convinced that his young and rebellious childhood would be responsible of Bazz’s scales losing their shimmer a decade too early. 

Well, at least his onyx scales were still shiny, so Sidon didn’t feel too bad for his misadventures. 

With a chuckle, Bazz pulled Sidon out of his thoughts and admitted, “It’s the price to pay to see you come back to yourself, My Prince.”

Sidon grunted in confusion at that, “What do you mean?”

With a shrug, the twinkle in Bazz’s eye left and he straightened himself, his playful grin returning, “I just mean I like to get my payback for decades of your reckless behavior from time to time.” 

“Oh very funny,” Sidon snickered, elbowing Bazz a little. The Captain’s laughs only grew in volume, and by the time Sidon finally waved him off and back onto his patrol, Bazz had a particular saunter that made Sidon wonder why the man felt so victorious on that day. 

* * *

_ When Bazz was just a newly enlisted private, General Grandon - the greatest Zora Warrior of their time, the King’s advisor before Muzu, and Queen Nerissa’s father - had scouted him and two of his friends for special training. While Gaddison and Rivan seemed to excel quickly through the routines General Grandon put them through, Bazz felt like he only fell further and further behind his entire squadron with his attention divided.  _

_ As he hit the ground, nearly clipping his fins on the way down, he seriously contemplated just staying on the ground.  _

_ “Oh, you’re done already?” the General grunted in amusement. Grandon leaned slightly against his trident, his gaze not quite meeting Bazz’s when he spoke, “I didn’t single you out for your talent, private, I singled you out for your work ethic. So don’t be quitting on me now.” _

_ “Y-yes sir,” Bazz whined, sitting up on his knees.  _

_ “You don’t sound like you’re standing,” Grandon hummed. “Hurry, before my granddaughter sees you graveling.” _

_ Bazz frowned, rubbing the ache out of his wrists from gripping the hilt of his sword too hard. “What does that mean--” _

_ Before Bazz could even finish, Mipha came scurrying around the corner and scampering down the stairs. Link chased her, his expression set in a deep and furious frown as he signed flippantly and at a pace much faster than Bazz could really keep up with.  _

_ Suddenly, Bazz was standing back up on his feet.  _

_ “Miphaaaaa,” Grandon scolded, turning his head just ever so slightly. “Aren’t you supposed to be studying Zorana Law with Muzu right now?” _

_ “I was just taking a break, Grandpa!” Mipha blurted, squinting her eyes shut tightly as she gripped her fins with her hands.  _

_ “Uh-huh,” Grandon hummed. “Then is there a reason you sound like you’ve seen a ghost? What is Link saying that has you so worked up, anyway?” _

_ “NOTHING GRANDPA!” Mipha shrieked. Bazz flinched at the volume, but Grandon nearly fell over from the sudden noise. Mipha almost immediately recoiled, covering her mouth in embarrassment, “Oh! I’m so sorry, Grandpa!”  _

_ “Ahhhh, it’s alright, Kiddo,” Grandon stuck his pinky in the ear that braved the worst of the vocal assault as he grimaced. “You lose your sight and your hearing somehow gets that much better. Or worse, depending on one’s perspective. So? What’s the ordeal that has you so worked up? Link? Any insight?” _

_ “Mmmmmmm,” Link hummed, rocking on his heels a little. Bazz eyed the bright flush of his friend’s cheeks and had about three guesses as to what had Mipha so worked up all the sudden. Sure enough, when Link started signing, Bazz could only roll his eyes.  _

_ “Ah!” Mipha covered her face. “Link, stop!”  _

_ “Well, that’s not fair, I can’t see what he’s saying,” Grandon hummed, pouting a little.  _

_ Bazz also felt his face flushing as he watched what Link was communicating. Apparently, Mipha had no interest in translating, so Bazz caved. “H-he...he’s giving Mipha relationship advice, Sir.” _

_ “Oh, for mystery man that isn’t that much of a mystery?” Grandon asked.  _

_ “Yeah, something like that!” Link snapped verbally, shooting Bazz a glare. Then glared up at Grandon in vain to ask, “What do you mean  _ mystery!?”

_ “I just mean that you don’t need sight to pick up on whatever is going on here,” Grandon pointed to Link and Mipha. “And since that’s a complicated matter, I’m just going to excuse myself to a shot of whiskey. Bazz, you can take five since and sort your friends out.” _

_ Stepping around the trio, Grandon marched pointedly towards the exit of the training arena and probably to the palace. Bazz watched as Mipha’s sparkling eyes widened in shock and she snapped, “Grandpa, it’s nine in the morning.” _

_ “Is it?” Grandon hummed. “Huh, must’ve mixed up my days and nights again. No wonder everything was closed when I went to get dinner earlier.” _

_ “Grandpaaaaa!” Mipha cried out in distress. “You promised Mom you would start setting alarms!” _

_ “And I will!” Grandon retorted. “Eventually! I’m on time when it’s important! I’ll get back on schedule in a couple days, honey, you just settle this lover’s quarrel with Link before you go back to Muzu!”  _

_ “Grandpa it’s not like that!” Mipha protested.  _

_ “Yes, he’s as gay as your brother, Mipha, I don’t need eyes to see that,” Grandon said. “I’ll leave you to it!”  _

_ Mipha let out a shrill little growl and covered her face. Link also stood with his head ducked towards the ground, arms crossed as he failed to hide his own furious blush. Bazz could only puff out his cheeks and ask, “So….what’s happening?” _

_ “Mipha’s still not over me,” Link finally blurted, looking up with a pointed glare. Mipha responded by punching Link firmly in the arm.  _

_ “Would you stop?!” Mipha cried out. _

_ Bazz didn’t want to be one to judge or stir the pot, but he also couldn’t help but ask, “Wait...Link, didn’t you come out like…” _

_ “Six months ago?” Link raised his brows indignantly. “Yeah, and Sleeping Beauty has been sleeping on  _ several _ advances from eligible and straight bachelors!”  _

_ “Seriously?” Bazz eyed Mipha pointedly. “But why?” _

_ “Ohhhhhhh I just don’t know what I want, okay!” Mipha threw her hands anxiously in the air. She kept fidgeting with her sash and her headdress when she spoke. Her hands flew around quicker than Link’s did when she was nervous, except she wasn’t communicating coherent words. Sometimes, Bazz just wanted to take those hands in his and try to help her settle her worries. “I just...Link, I’ve liked you for so  _ long, _ I--I don’t know what to even look for in a guy!”  _

_ Bazz hummed in thought at that, missing the silent and animated argument that erupted between Link and Mipha after that. Pursing his lips together, he looked up at the angry signing match and asked, “What is it about Link that you like?” _

_ “Huh?” Mipha and Link both grunted. _

_ “Well, it isn’t a coincidence that you have such strong feelings for Link,” Bazz piotned out. “So what about him caught your attention?” _

_ “Ohhhhhh yeah!” Link grinned suddenly, then placed his hands on Mipha’s shoulders to ask, “Quick, close your eyes!” _

_ Bazz frowned, “Link, that’s not what I--” _

_ “Okay,” Mipha cringed, closing her eyes.  _

_ “Now, picture the first thing that comes to mind when you think of me,” Link grinned. “What’s the one thing about me that you think about?” _

_ Mipha squinted her eyes a little more, her lips curling as she tried to come up with an answer. Honestly, it was kind of adorable the way she slumped her shoulders forward and blurted, “E- _ ears.”

_ Coincidentally, Link’s ears flattened a little bit. “What?” _

_ “Y-you just have such cute ears,” Mipha was getting ready to take off in an entire anxiety tangent. “They just get very twitchy and then it’s really cute when you let Sidon tug on them and--” _

_ “Okay think of something besides my ears,” Link whined. “I haven’t met a straight Hylian that I would trust with you.” _

_ Mipha opened her eyes at that, bouncing in a little fit as she whined. “This isn’t working.” _

_ “Yeah, no, she’s gotta do way more soul searching than that.” Bazz rolled his eyes. “Mipha, what if you just talked to your Dad? He’s good at this sort of stuff.” _

_ Two heads moved on a swivel to glare at Bazz and it was Mipha who pointed out, “Bazz, if my dad knew that Link was gay and I needed to explore straighter options in the dating pool, he’d throw an entire suitor’s ball for both of us, hire matchmakers to help, then make a point to not invite Geoff to the party and probably go as far as to sue the man for custody over his son so he can adopt Link.” _

_ Bazz listened to Mipha spin out of control in her anxious fantasy while Link nodded fervently in agreement. While that all sounded very much like King Dorephan down to the adopting Link for the hell of it, Bazz could only shrug, “I...I don’t see a problem with this. I mean Link’s dad is kind of a dick so…” _

_ “Bazz,” Link and Mipha both glared.  _

_ “I’m not saying, I’m just saying,” Bazz shrugged. “If you had King Dorephan for a dad, your life would probably be a lot better and you’d probably have a smoking hot bird boyfriend by now.” _

_ For some reason, Link nearly launched himself fifty feet in the air like he was a Rito who had mastered Revali’s Gale. Which...wouldn’t have been surprising to Bazz by this point. Sputtering anxiously, Link’s entire face turned crimson red as he shrieked, “The fuck does that mean!?” _

_ “Oh, was I not supposed to point it out?” Bazz balked. “Yeah, Revali’s gay, dude.” _

_ “NO HE ISN’T!” _

_ “Oh heavens,” Mipha moaned, smacking her hand to her face. Bazz felt his gaze shifting between her and Link who was now bitching to himself and muttering curse words while he stomped around in circles.  _

_ “So how long has  _ that _ been going on?” Bazz asked Mipha. The Princess, in turn, only shook her head and shrugged. “Oh boy. Link.” _

_ “I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT!” _

_ “Link, this is painful to watch.” _

_ “I’M HAVING A GREAT TIME, BAZZ.” _

_ “Link, you really aren’t.” _

_ “HE’S AN ASSHOLE, BAZZ!” _

_ “But he’s a pretty asshole--” _

_ “He’s SOOOOO PRETTY!” Link spun around suddenly, his eyes twitching. “I HATE IT!” _

_ “I can tell,” Bazz bit back an amused grin. “So why don’t you talk to him?” _

_ “I CAN’T!” Link threw his hands in the air, wheezing a little bit. “I can’t just _ talk _ to him! HE’LL EAT ME ALIVE AND THEN REGURGITATE ME INTO HYLIAN MUSH TO FEED THE BABY BIRDS” _

_ “Oh for fuck’s sake, he’s not a serial killer in those horror novels you read,” Bazz rolled his eyes. “Maybe stop reading books where the protagonist wears someone else’s face before bed?” _

_ “I DID THAT ONE TIME--” _

_ “Okay!” Mipha interjected, “This is getting out of hand.” _

_ “You’re right, Princess, I’m sorry,” Bazz spun right back around to Mipha. “We were talking about  _ your _ love life first.” _

_ Mipha paled suddenly. “Bazz, no--” _

_ “Why nooooot?” Bazz whined, unable to hide his teasing grin. “You deserve to put yourself out there! You’re kind, and funny, and pretty easy on the eyes, if I do say so myself. If Mr. Attracted-to-Assholes over there is too gay for you, you can at least let someone else sweep you off your feet.” _

_ The way Mipha’s golden eyes lit up and she ducked her head as she laughed made Bazz’s heart flutter and eye twitch. When she looked up at him with the sweetest smile, she made his head pound and his other eye twitch when she asked, “You think I’m pretty?” _

_ “I mean, duh, Mipha. You’re beautiful. I’m pretty sure your blind ass Grandpa could figure that one out.” Bazz shrugged, trying to hide his internal screams. What? He didn’t have a crush on the princess! Oh  _ hell _ no, she was too far out of his league and currently crushing on one of his best friends. He was good out here in the friendzone. He was fine. This was perfectly fine.  _

_ (In reality, he wasn’t fine, he was definitely crushing, and he had very strong opinions about how much  _ worse _ this love triangle was than the stupid vampire novel Mipha convinced Bazz to read in middle school. But that was beside the point.) _

_ Mipha’s smile only grew and Bazz only cursed himself more when she responded, “Thank you, Bazz. You’re awfully sweet, you know that?” _

_ Bazz shrugged, failing to quell his aching heart. “I’m just honest, Princess.” _

_ There was a distant and unrecognizable flicker in Mipha’s eyes at that. Bazz noticed it anytime he or one of their peers called her ‘Princess’. It was almost as if she didn’t like it when they did that, but Bazz wasn’t sure what else to call her besides her name. After all, she  _ was _ his Princess, was she not?  _

_ Would just calling her Mipha even suffice?  _

* * *

Link was holding his head in his hands when Bazz finally lost his patience. 

“Do you want me to tell you?” Bazz finally asked his friend. “Or do you just wanna wait to summon the dead before you figure it out?”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Bazz!”

“Well, unless you want your relationship up Shit’s Creek, I suggest you get used to hearing it,” Bazz retorted. “Until you sort this mess out.”

“Ugggggggh,” Link smacked his head against the bar table a couple of times before finally looking up and asking, “How fucking  _ desperate _ was I that I  _ fucked Revali?!” _

Bazz remained silent and sipped at his whiskey. It had become their Friday thing, when Bazz was off patrols, for the duo to go to a happy hour and just….chill before Link needed to pick Nami up from school. They had been trying for ages to get Sidon to join them but Sidon always managed to come up with something to do to keep himself busy. Bazz never quite understood what Sidon’s hang-up with social hours was. He seemed to have no problems joining fellow parents for tea (and spilling tea) when he took Nami to playdates. But hanging out with friends for the sake of hanging out? Bazz hadn’t seen Sidon join in for drinks or happy hours since before….well, it had been since Vali had died, and if Bazz had known that last happy hour with Vali would’ve been his last happy hour with Sidon, then….

Okay, so Bazz wasn’t sure what he would’ve done differently but he probably would’ve at least let his guard down a little more. Make sure that Sidon knew he wasn’t alone in his grief. Maybe if he had been more open, then maybe Sidon would be more open and if Sidon were more open, then Link…..would still be a stubborn asshole but he at least would’ve felt guilty for it. 

Oh this was worse than the love triangle that was worse than the vampire novel Mipha made him read in middle school. 

“Bazz,” Link whined dryly.

“What?” Bazz grunted.

“You got quiet.”

“You didn’t want to hear about it,” Bazz pointed out, “So I’m decidedly not answering questions pertaining to the graphic details you once gave me about getting rawed by bird dick.”

“BAZZ!” 

“Well, it’s not my fault you’re a little bottom baby!” Bazz spat into his whiskey glass. “But if you  _ must _ know, you’re still consistent when it comes to your type because you’re two for two for dating  _ big _ bottom bitches!” 

Link spat out his beer and almost nailed the poor bartender who was trying and failing to tune them both out. Bazz carefully slid her an extra tip in apology and whispered, “Don’t worry, Prince Sidon knows all about this already.”

The bartender just nodded with wide eyes and walked away from them as Link screamed, “WELL I DON’T! What the fuck do you  _ mean _ I  _ dated _ Revali!?”

“Oops,” Bazz turned back to his whiskey glass. 

“No,” Link cocked a grin that was both insane and lethal. “No, no, no, Bazz, you’re lying. Tell me you’re lying.”

“You’re lying,” Bazz responded literally.

“BAZZ--”

Before Link could shake Bazz off of his bar stool, Rivan snuck up on the both of them with a haunted look on his face.

“Link, Captain,” he greeted. “I need you guys to come listen to this.”

“Listen to what?” Bazz asked. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah….uh….just come with me before the kids are out of school, okay?” Rivan jutted his thumb towards the entrance to the pub and Bazz held back a sigh. He and Link paid their tabs and left. He followed Rivan to the entrance of the pub, but they stopped at the speakers where the radio was playing. Amidst the chattering conversation, the radio was near impossible to listen to from where they had been. Here, Bazz and Link both paused when they listened to the news update. 

_ “And now, from Hyrule, as Sheikah technology continues to develop in the central kingdom comes the creation of a new form of entertainment: cable television! Among the ability to watch news in real time, the same technology that captures moving videos on home cameras has been used and adapted to create shows for entertainment. One such series that is sweeping Hyrule is a children’s cartoon that may even be inspired by a story that is close to home in Zora’s Domain.” _

Both Bazz and Link paused and eyed each other. With a furrowed brow, Link asked, “What does that mean?”

“Just wait,” Rivan sighed. Bazz and Link listened intently as a little jingle started playing. At first, Bazz wasn’t quite sure why Rivan was so concerned about a segment on a children’s show, but then he forced himself to listen to the lyrics. 

_ I was a girl in the village doing alright _

_ Then I became a princess overnight _

“It’s….about a princess,” Bazz noted blankly.

_ Now I gotta figure out how to do it right _

_ So much to learn and see! _

_ Up in the castle with my new family in this school thats for royalty _

“A….new family,” Link blinked. “Was she adopted?”

“Oh no--” Bazz whined. 

_ In a school that's just for royalty _

_ A whole enchanted world is waiting for me _

_ I'm so excited to be (Sofia the First) _

“Noooooooo,” Link and Bazz droned, and frankly Bazz wanted to vomit. 

_ I'm finding out what being royal's all about (Sofia the First) _

_ Making my way, it's an adventure every day (Sofia) _

_ It's gonna be my time (Sofia) _

_ To show them all that I'm Sofia the First! _

“SOFIA!?” Link snapped. “They make a show about my daughter and then rename her Sofia!?” 

“Well, we don’t  _ know _ it’s about Nami--” Bazz started, but the radio broadcaster interrupted him. 

_ “Sofia the First is a story about a young girl who ends up adopted into her land’s royal family after her father - a royal knight - marries the King. The children’s show, which has gained incredible popularity along Central Hyrule, follows Princess Sofia’s adventures becoming a Princess and inheriting her new father’s kingdom.” _

Bazz quickly tuned out the radio hosts’ commentary on how precariously familiar the show’s synopsis was as he turned to Link. 

“You need to go get your boyfriend and calm him down before this gets out,” Bazz pionted out.

“It’s already out!” Link snarked, “It’s on the radio!”

“Link,” Bazz glared at Link. “Go get Sidon before he has an aneurysm.”

* * *

Link found himself sprinting to the courtyard where Sidon was humming jovially while he waited for school to let out. Ohhhh, he was not emotionally prepared to ruin Sidon’s day. 

“Oh, Link!” Sidon lit up the moment he saw him. “How are you my love?”

“I….need to talk to you about something,” Link took hold of Sidon’s hand. 

“Oh?” Sidon blinked, a small smile tracing his features, “Did you remember something?”

“Well...not exactly,” Link shook his head, “Actually, it’s about Nami--”

Apparently luck wasn’t on Link’s side that day, because as the final school bell ran and the kids spilled out into the courtyard, Nami lead the pack, launched herself into Sidon’s arms. “DAAAAD!”

“Oh hello, my Sweet Minnow!” Sidon cheered, scooping her into his arms. For a moment, Link almost forgot the world was about to end when he watched those two wagging tails. Sidon nuzzled her gently, the two Zora purring and giggling together. “How was your day?”

“Dad, the coooooolest thing happened!” Nami cheered, patting her little hands against Sidon’s chest. Link felt his smile fall suddenly. Oh--oh no.

“Wait,” Link paled. “Nami--”

As if she couldn’t hear him, Nami bounced in Sidon’s arms and announced to everyone’s dismay, “I’m in a TV Show!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .........did I mention my flaming hot cheetoh take on Hylian children's shows? All I'm saying is that I know NOTHING of Sofia the First other than the few episodes I watched vicariously when babysitting. Lava just reminded me of the theme song and the idea that Hyrule made a bootlegged version of her adoption story into a TV show is really fucking funny to me prepare for this gag to transcend into FGA years aka CHAPTERS into the future. I'm not sorry and if you know me, you know how ridiculous the gag is about to get. I'm not sorry. 
> 
> Also I promise there'll be more comedy elements than Sad Sidon elements in this. But I haaaaaaaaaaaad to drop some foreshadowing for FGA because I'm too lazy to put it back in SEPA. 
> 
> Also also. Sidenote. Grandon's voice in my head is just Master Piandao from ATLA. This is important for later flashbacks. 
> 
> Also also also. More Revalink in the next chapter, I promise.


	3. Wait, I'm Famous?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami's school day has it's ups and downs, but she's happy to be home with her dads to tell them all about it. Link wrestles with more of his locked away memories. Revali opens up about his childhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I...feel like I'm high when I write some of these chapters. I don't smoke weed, I got the spins worse than Sidon last time I tried. I barely remember to finish my glass of wine when I have one. But this fucking fic is just. It's something. And I have no regrets so enjoy my continuously FLAMING hot takes on this bullshit.

Princess Minami’s day had started off normally enough, but things quickly went south at recess when one of the boys pulled on her barbels, making her cry. Her day went further south when they called her “Princess Crybaby” and then even _further_ south when she punched them both in the snouts. 

The day was about as bad as it could be when she was sitting in time out while the boys who had started the whole mess were running free. Because they tattled on her and Mikau was Jeori’s “boyfriend” for the week and Jeori was the only other witness who bailed them out. 

“They’re always picking on me, Laflat!” Nami cried as her teacher held an ice pack up to her swollen barbel. Laflat was a teacher who was always there for Nami, even if her classroom teachers weren’t. It sucked; first her teachers told her to stop rough-housing because none of her other classmates were sharks that could handle it, now her teachers were always telling her that mean behavior wasn’t proper for the crown princess. 

Nami never even started it! The boys just always picked on her no matter what she did! 

“I know, sweetie,” Laflat sighed, “but as much as it hurts, your teacher’s decision is final.”

“But!” Nami cried, “They’re _always_ picking on me and even if I don’t do anything, they get me in trouble!” 

“I’m sorry, honey,” Laflat sighs, “I know it feels unfair, but I’m sure your teacher doesn’t mean to make you feel that way.”

“Then why!” Nami cried, “Why do I have to be the one who’s in trouble?”

At that, Laflat looked down as if she had come to a loss. With a heavy sigh, she finally admitted, “It may seem silly...it may even seem cruel...but there are a lot of adults who feel like they need to hold you to a higher standard than your peers.”

Nami glared up at Laflat, knowing exactly where this conversation was going and hating it all the same. 

“But that’s not _fair!”_ Nami cried out. It was beyond unfair. It was...it was _scary._ She wasn’t allowed to fight back but her classmates could be as mean to her as they like. “I’m gonna be queen one day and they’ll still beat me up!” 

“Nami, they wouldn’t do that--”

“Yes they would!” 

“Okay,” Laflat sighed heavily, as if there was a point she was trying to get through to Nami but couldn’t. Squeezing Nami’s shoulder a little, she offered, “I’ll talk to your teacher about what you told me, sweetie. But I will say...while I don’t agree with how some of the adults handle it, I _do_ think it is important for you to set the example for your peers. As much as you hate being called names or picked on, how do you think those boys felt when you punched them?”

“Not great…” Nami pouted. “But they wouldn’t stop when I used my words like Dad always says!” 

“Well maybe...if words don’t work, and punches hurt, maybe you can be an example and find a new way to resolve the conflict?” Laflat offered. “Think outside the box for a solution that would make everyone happy? That’s what you’ll be doing when you’re queen, after all.”

Nami _hated_ the idea with a burning passion. She didn’t want to be the bigger person (she was already taller than everybody!), she didn’t want to set the example, she just wanted the bullying to _stop._ Needless to say, Nami was still scowling in art class as they reached the end of the day. Tumbo sat across from her as the teacher helped with an oil painting. His tongue stuck out a little as he tried with all his might to blend the reds and oranges of the sunset he had drawn. 

“Why Tumbo, this is beautiful!” the art teacher praised. “What was your inspiration for this?”

“NO ONE!” Tumbo yelped, his tail curling upwards. Nami glanced up at him pointedly. Oh, there was definitely someone. “I-I-I really like the color red, Miss Shellie.”

Nami rolled her eyes and looked back down at her...much sloppier oil painting that had gotten really muddy. Was it music class yet?

Miss Shellie came over to Nami, who immediately shrunk a little at her bench when she heard, “Oh my, what are we working on here?”

“Um…” Nami stared nervously down at her painting. This was _nothing_ like what Grandpa could do. “I was uh...supposed to be Papa’s violin but….”

Next to her, Jeori snickered, “It looks like poop!”

“Jeori!” Miss Shellie scolded. “That’s not nice.”

“I was just saying,” Jeori retorted. “My mom says that King Dorephan can make the prettiest oil paintings in all the Domain. But Nami paints like the King never taught her how to paint or she didn’t get his painting skills when she was born…”

“Jeori!” Keye sat up from the table next to theirs. 

“Oh wait,” Jeori snorted, “You weren’t!”

Nami felt her little oil crayon snap in half in her hand, making a mess of her already failed painting. Slamming her little hands onto the table, she finally snapped, “Say that again, I dare you!”

“Now Princess,” Miss Shellie urged, pressing on Minami’s little shoulders. “Jeori shouldn’t be saying those things to you, but you can--”

“I’m tired of being treated like crap!” Nami yelled. “I never did anything to you, so why don’t you find someone else to pick on!” 

“Minami!” Miss Shellie warned, “Have a seat before I send you out of my room. Jeori, come with me for a second?”

Jeori rolled her eyes but hopped off her stool and trotted out the room for yet another talking to. Nami was seething down at her painting even after Jeori came back and grabbed her stuff to go sit by Keye. Her painting was ruined at this point, the only teachers who ever seemed to do anything to stand up for her were Miss Shellie and Mr. Trello in music, and even then the worst that ever happened was Jeori getting moved seats for the rest of the class period. But _no,_ Nami had to get time outs or calls home to Dad.

She was really tired of Dad having to come up to school with tired eyes to sit in a meeting with the principal. 

She was getting even more tired seeing Dad actually come to _her_ defense and ask, “I can understand your concerns, but what of the kids who had instigated the situation?”

“Oh my Prince,” the principal said _every single time,_ “You of all people must understand the standards we have to hold your daughter to. The other children will face consequences as we see fit, Sir. But I am frankly most concerned about your daughter’s...rather physical behavior.”

Last time it happened, Dad even got short with the principal and asked, “Why’s that? Because she’s the Princess, a shark, or a shark that’s a Princess?” before he turned around and pulled Nami from school for the rest of the day. 

Nami hated being picked on. She hated bothering or disappointing Dad even more. 

Miss Shellie came around offering advice for Nami to fix her painting, especially since the painting was due at the end of the week and Nami didn’t have time to start over like she wanted. When Miss Shellie gave the ten minute warning, Nami watched as her classmates all carefully packed up and put their paintings on the back counter. She waited for everyone else to put theirs away - she didn’t want people seeing how badly she messed up - but then she realized a worse thought.

If she put her painting away last, it would be on top. So _everyone_ would see it. In a panic, when the five minute warning was announced, Nami grabbed her painting in a flurry, crumpled it up, and stuffed it in her backpack with hopes of fixing it at home. 

If only Nami remembered how easily oil paints could uh...transfer to other stuff.

* * *

It was independent reading time when Nami made the exhilarating discovery. She loved reading time. She loved independent reading time even more. She used to hate it because...well, most of the time if she got called on to read a passage of the story they were on she couldn’t. While her Mama and Daddy used to read to her as a baby, when they died there was no one to put her to bed with a book and a lullaby. So Nami stopped reading. And she got behind in reading. And it was always super embarrassing when she didn’t understand a word that the rest of the class had learned _ages_ ago. 

But then Dad adopted her. And Dad read to her every night plus anytime she asked. And nowadays, anytime she didn’t understand a word or wasn’t sure how to pronounce it, she’d picture Dad’s booming voice in her ear while he balanced her on his chest at night. This year, not only was Nami finally taken out of remedial reading, but she was reading books that sixth graders were even on! She still smiled to herself when she thought back to the day she picked out a big fat book in the library, was stopped because she needed to read something “at her level” so she could complete a book report, and ended up having Dad look at the book she wanted to read and go, “Oh yes, she breezed through the first two books in this series in less than a week, she can handle it.” And then she got an A+ on her book report! 

Nami hummed contently to herself as she laid in a beanbag chair, fully immersed in _A Wrinkle in Time_ when she saw Laflat come in with an urgent look on her face and call the teacher out of the classroom. A few heads looked up eagerly, curious about what had the teachers whispering outside the classroom. 

“What’s going on?” Nami asked, putting a bookmark in and sitting up. Beside her, Tumbo had been cuddled up next to her sharing the beanbag reading an _Animorphs_ book, so he was just as lost. 

“I dunno,” Tumbo shrugged, then looked to his twin brother who was closer to the door. “Keye!”

“SHHHHH!” their classmates all hushed, ears pinned towards the door - far away from the corner Nami and Tumbo sat at - to hear the conversation. 

“I’m gonna check it out,” Nami whispered to Tumbo, then stood up and blatantly marched towards the door. 

“Hey!” Tottia hissed as Nami stepped over her. “Go back to your corner!”

“Namiiii!” Keye whined. “I had a good seat!”

“Well, I’m curious!” Nami protested, crouching down to scoot closer to the doorway.

“Hey, Princess, get your fat head out of the way!” Mikau snapped. 

“Excuse _me,_ Mikau, but my dad’s the one with the fat head and as Jeori said in art class, I didn’t inherit anything from him!” Nami snarked bitterly, shutting everyone up long enough for her to crawl to the door where Laflat was standing post with her back to the class. She looked like she was trying to keep prying eyes from darting out of the classroom, but Nami could still easily see through her legs. 

The teachers had a television out - and televisions were _super_ expensive and the Domain could really only use them for recorded videos. But Aunt Zelda’s palace in Hyrule had something called _cable_ and they could watch shows live like the radio! TV’s were so expensive that Papa and Dad couldn’t even justify getting _one_ for the palace. Instead, Dad and Grandpa talked about buying some for the schools to use. Watching videos was super cool, but for some reason the teachers all looked worried as they played something that was recorded from Hyrule. 

“They’re doing a radio show about this apparently, but we need to decide how we handle this before it gets out to the kids,” the principal lectured in a hushed voice. “Especially this grade level because...well…”

“Minami,” two of the teachers looked to each other. Nami perked up at the mention of her name and she looked up to the TV screen where some kind of...Aunt Zellie called it a cartoon was playing on the screen. There were lots of pretty characters that came across the screen, but the one that caught Nami’s attention was the Hylian girl in a princess dress with...bright blue hair. 

Like Nami’s scales. 

And she was talking to a large man who looked like a king and he had...very very red hair. Like Dad’s scales. 

Tumbo and several other of her classmates had all huddled up next to Nami. When Nami let out the distinct gasp they were all thinking however, Keye put a hand over her mouth, but Nami shook him away and yelled, “Is that ME?!”

“Princess!” Laflat jumped, looking down at Nami and the pile of children at her feet. “Kids, go back to reading--”

“That’s about me isn’t it!” Nami stood up, cheering. “Am I in a TV show?”

“I--yes, Nami, it looks like it,” Laflat deflated. “Listen, honey, we’ll have a talk with your dad and figure out how to handle this--”

“Does this mean I’m famous!?” Nami shot her hands up in the air. Holy _crap,_ was she famous? “Am I gonna be famous?”

“You...already are?” Laflat balked in confusion. “Nami, honey, I don’t know how else to tell you this but you are the Zora _Princess._ You’ve been famous.”

“No I haven’t,” Nami protested. “I may be the princess and all but I’m not famous.”

“You…” Laflat fell at a loss for words.

“Ew, Nami, are you stupid?” Jeori snapped. “Your _dad_ is Prince Sidon! The Prince Sidon!”

“Yeah, and _he’s_ famous,” Nami explained, not sure why everyone was so confused. “But this is! So cool! This TV show is gonna make me famous!”

“Ummmm,” Tumbo whined, “Are you sure that the TV show wasn’t made because you’re already famous?”

“Yes!” Nami bounced excitedly, “There’s no _way_ I could be famous enough to become a TV show! But I’m a TV show and I’m gonna be famous! This is so _cool!”_

As Nami squealed in delight while everyone started erupted with thousands of questions and complaining that it wasn’t fair for _Nami_ to become a TV show because they were _way more_ interesting and better behaved in school than she was. Laflat and Nami’s other teachers, however, all exchanged glances of concern.

“Should we...tell the Prince?” one teacher asked.

“I’ll...I’ll tell the royal guard and let _them_ tell the Prince,” Laflat finally declared, “He takes this kind of news a lot better from Captain Bazz or Rivan.”

* * *

Nami was bouncing off the walls with excitement all the way through dinner. Link was pretty much slack-jawed in the kitchen as he watched his boyfriend try and fail to quell their daughter’s excited ramblings. 

“Dad, I’m famous!”

“Minami, sweetie, you already _were!”_ Sidon failed to reason with her. “Being the princess is already high profile and Hylians showrunners don’t need to be capitalizing on your life and likeness!”

“I don’t know what any of that means!” Nami declared, but Link was tempted to call bullshit. That girl had a tendency of coming out of left field in her observance and intuition and Link was never sure what was actually considered “age appropriate” when it came to Nami. 

Didn’t the book Sidon lend him say Zora children were supposed to mentally mature more _slowly_ than Hylians? Because Nami was more quick-witted than most Hylians who were _older_ than her. At least the friends she had made in Hateno who all thought Nami was a teenager and threw a fit when Sidon didn’t let them take her to one of those movie theaters that were just built without parental supervision. 

But then again...she was hyper fixating on a children's show supposedly meant for preschool and slightly older. 

“Honey,” Sidon held his head in his hands, “I _promise you_ that this is not! It’s a problem and I am worried for you!”

“Why?”

“Because they didn’t even ask for your permission!”

“So?”

“Consent is important, Nami!” 

“So what if I just...went to Hyrule and gave them my permission?” Nami asked. “Because I think it’s cool.”

“Honey, that’s not how it works,” Sidon covered his face. 

“Why not?”

“Because they already made the show!”

“And I’m giving them my permission to continue!” 

“We’re going in circles,” Link finally slumped forward in defeat. “Nami, do you have any homework?”

“Ummmm,” Nami rocked back and forth a little in thought, then lit up when she announced, “Oh yeah! I have to finish a science worksheet! I’ll go get it!”

As Nami scampered away, Sidon continued kneeling on the floor regretting some, if not all of his life choices. With a sigh, he looked up at Link and whined, “Thank you.”

Link bit back a grin, “It’s what boyfriends are for!”

“Boyfriends, wonderful fathers, my knight in shining armor…” Sidon started humming as he made the list. Link felt his cheeks heating up, then the rest of his body heat up when his fish prince wrapped long, muscular arms around his waist. Sidon dipped his chin against the top of Link’s head and sighed, “I just don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Ohhhhh stop,” Link rocked his head back to place a small peck of a kiss on Sidon’s jaw. “I’m just a total sucker for men who are good with kids is all.”

“Oh is that so?” Sidon snickered, cupping Link’s cheek to keep it tilted so they could share a kiss on the lips. A...quickly passionate kiss on the lips. When Sidon reluctantly broke away, he had a _heated_ sparkle in his eyes. “It’s a shame we don’t have the tools at our disposal to make a few more.”

A...wholly unattractive wheeze escaped Link’s lips instead of the sexy comeback that _was_ in his mind. 

Sidon wanted to make babies with him? 

_Sidon_ wanted to make babies with _Link!?_

“You’d...really wanna make a baby with me?” Link gaped stupidly. WHAT!? Of all the times for Link to be literally _pissed_ that their plumbing didn’t match up! Sidon simply chuckled, seemingly endeared by Link’s stupidity.

“Why, of course!” Sidon kissed Link’s forehead as he spoke. “I can’t think of a more charming, wonderful man to spend my life with and raise children with….besides we’ve already adopted one together.”

“Well,” Link spat as Sidon bent forward and began kissing at his neck. He could feel the tiniest grazing of teeth against his skin. Oh, Sidon was feeling chompy tonight. “Technically you adopted her first and then gave me permission to co-parent.”

“Link,” Sidon whined. “Please, I’m trying to be sexy.”

“I know, I know,” Link responded with wide eyes. Why was this getting to him? Why was he hung up on this? “But what if--? What if I’m bad at parenting?”

“Link you aren’t bad at parenting--”

“I never remembered to feed the dog on time!” 

Sidon stiffened as Link did and they looked at each other. “What dog?” Sidon asked. 

“Uh,” Link felt his ears droop as he searched for the memory. “Uhhhhhh. I dunno.”

“Well, okay,” Sidon frowned, his gaze growing increasingly worried. “If it comes to you then...I’ll be here when you get back.” 

“Oh come on,” Link rolled his eyes, “Don’t say it like that--”

Link froze in place, intentionally trying to space out partially to force himself into the memory gripping at his brain but mostly just to fuck with Sidon. The first time he did it was hysterical. But Link was starting to worry that he had overdone the joke because now Sidon was just crossing his arms and sighing. 

“Link, that’s not at all how you look when you dissociate on me,” Sidon rolled his eyes, “Stop that.”

“Well, I could be,” Link peered an eye over in Sidon’s direction, but realized too late that he blew his cover.

“You certainly don’t respond to me,” Sidon shook his head, though he was grinning. Link relaxed a little when he stepped back into his boyfriend’s arms, but he couldn’t help but wrack his brain trying to figure out where that outburst came from.

He had a dog? Did he have a dog? Was the dog okay?! Oh _no,_ what happened to the dog?

Ohhhhh Link wasn’t fit to be a parent.

“I don’t think I can have kids, Sidon,” Link whined, “I’m not good with them!”

“You already have a daughter, babe,” Sidon sounded very tired. Did they have this conversation before too? Or was this with somebody else?

Link winced a little when he heard a distinct voice in his ear snap, _“How the hell can I expect you to be able to brood with a baby if you can’t even follow a simple grocery list?!”_

“I couldn’t read your handwriting, featherface,” Link whined under his breath, then jumped when he felt Sidon release him of the hug and he realized it was Sidon who was holding him. Oh fuck. 

“What was that?” Sidon asked curiously.

“N-nothing!” Link felt himself blushing. Sidon frowned a little and brushed a lock of hair behind his ear. With another whine, Link leaned into his boyfriend’s touch. For a moment, he felt at peace again. For a moment, he wanted to just stay there, but then Nami made a noise. 

“OH NO!” she yelled, capturing both Sidon’s and Link’s attention. Exchanging barely a glance to each other, the couple ran into the little girl’s room where she stood there, holding an open book bag. She looked up at her dads with a wide-eyed and puckered-lipped expression as if she had just eaten a lemon. 

“Minami?” Sidon asked, “What’s wrong, Little Minnow?”

“I fucked up,” Nami blurted, holding her backpack out to him. Link ducked his head down to fight the sudden urge to just explode with laughter, Sidon sucked in a breath.

“Oh, sweetie, _please_ don’t be using such language when you--”

“No really I did!” Nami cried out, shaking her bag a bit. “My--my painting!” 

“What’s wrong with your painting?” Sidon asked with a blank expression, but took hold of the backpack. He unzipped it a little more to peer inside, but when he did, several paint-covered notebooks and supplies spilled out and made a mess all over the floor. “Oh Hylia! What is this?”

“My paintiiing!” Nami cringed, holding the side of her head, “Dad I’m so sorry! I forgot I put it in there! I messed up in art class and it’s due at the end of the week and--I fucked up!” 

“You did not fuck up!” Sidon panicked, his eyes like saucers. “Uhhhh we can--we can get this cleaned up and I have a spare bag for you to use, honey.”

“But my painting is ruined! Like big time ruined!” Nami started to cry, “Dad, it’s due on _Friday!”_

Sidon nodded numbly to Nami, but then looked up at Link with a horrified, desperate look like he needed help. 

“O-okay,” Link sucked in a breath, then knelt down beside Nami and signed, “Why don’t you help me with supper and we can figure this out after we eat?”

“But Papa,” Nami was resting her hands on the top of her head and swaying nervously. “I’m bad at art and I’m gonna get a bad grade in art and it’s all because stupid _Jeori_ made fun of me for being adopted again!” 

“She did?” Sidon’s protective hackles immediately raised, “Oh I swear I’m going to give her mother a call and--”

“Sidon, it won’t help,” Link reminded him. “She lets her daughter get away with picking on Nami so she can talk to you, remember?”

“I’m GAY, Link!” Sidon threw his hands in the air. “I’m gay, our girls don’t even get along, where in the _hell_ does Malaya even get _off_ thinking she can get with me by letting Jeori take all her anger out on _our_ daughter!?”

“I don’t know, but she was in your little fan club or whatever, wasn’t she?” Link signed, trying to keep this conversation away from Nami, if only a little. 

“Ohhhhhhh for heaven's sake!” Sidon whined. “I swear, sometimes those _‘fans’_ are worse than Ikkala--”

“Who’s Ikkala?” Nami blurted, causing Sidon to freeze. He looked up with an oddly vacant but tense expression and shook his head. 

“She--was the source of many headaches for me,” Sidon scowled. “And I was the source of most of hers!” Link flinched a little. He hadn’t seen such a... _sour_ expression on Sidon before. His two default settings were either anxiety or oozing positivity. There was no in between and no other spectrum. 

At least that’s what Link thought until now. 

Nami hummed: “Did you have a straight phase?”

Sidon came out of his odd trance very quick, “What?”

“Is she your ex-girlfriend?”

“I-I’ve never had a girlfriend, Minami.”

“Ex-lover!”

 _“Where_ on earth did you learn that?”

Nami threw her hands in the air and cheered, “I read it in a book from the school library! Some guy named Chuck Tingle wrote it and I thought the cover looked silly but it was about a dinosaur and a guy named Chad--”

“Whyyyyyyy is there a _Chuck Tingle_ book in your SCHOOL’S LIBRARY!?” Sidon shrieked as Link let out a mortified groan. Partly because his daughter somehow discovered Chuck Tingle but also holy _fuck_ did he accidentally give away his collection at the last book drive? Is that why he couldn’t find them from the boxes he brought up from Hateno? Did he unleash _Chuck Fucking Tingle_ on a school of young _children!?_

“Oh sweet Hylia,” Link pulled at his face. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh _no._

“Yeah, I’ll say!” Sidon cried out, floored.

“Okay, okay, I don’t see what the problem is but I’ll take the book about the Hugo Award back to school tomorrow,” Nami rolled her eyes. “But seriously, who’s Ikkala?”

Sidon deflated a little again, his eyes getting that odd, glossy look again. “She was married to a friend of mine. We had a falling out before you were born, honey.”

“Mmmmmwhat kind of falling out?” Nami asked curiously. Link was admittedly curious too as he looked up at Sidon, but the way Sidon closed them both off and turned startled Link into silence on the issue. 

Was he okay?

Looking down at the soiled bag in his hands, Sidon sucked in a breath and looked up at the ceiling before he turned back around. Like a switch had flipped, happy go lucky Sidon returned and he offered, “I have an idea! Nami, why don’t you ask Grandpa to help you with your oil painting? I’m sure he’d be _thrilled_ to help with an art project.”

“Are you sure?” Nami perked up, detracted as easily as Sidon could switch topics. “He’s not too busy?”

“Sweetie, Grandpa is _never_ too busy for a sweet little minnow like you,” Sidon giggled as he knelt down to poke her belly. Nami giggled back, bending forward a little, but then flinched when Sidon reached forward to start tickling her and before Link knew it, Sidon had dropped the back and was holding their little girl in his lap while Nami squealed in delight. 

* * *

_Link was about to have a hernia._

_“This fucking SWORD!” he screamed, kicking at the hilt of the sword. It wobbled a little in its pedestal but the force keeping it in place knocked Link on his ass. It only caused him to let out another yell._

_Above them, the Deku Tree sighed heavily, “Beating up the Sword that Seals the Darkness will not prove to its spirit that you are worthy.”_

_“Well if I’m not worthy, then why the fuck did it summon me in the first place, huh!?” Link spat, gesturing wildly to the sword. “Why not pick another ballsy fucking Hylian?”_

_“Oh have mercy,” Revali spat from behind._

_“I didn’t ask for your opinion!” Link roared to the bird. The fucking bird who always insisted on coming with. And what for, anyway? To laugh in his face?! He already knew that Revali was a more skilled warrior than him! Probably worthier too!_

_“Link,” Mipha offered, stepping forward to place a hand on Link’s seething shoulder. “Why don’t we take a break.”_

_“Why?” Link snarled. “The longer it takes me to pull the damn thing, the louder that fucking voice in my head gets and I swear I’m going to go literally insane!”_

_“With as talkative as you are, I’d imagine you’ve already lost your marbles,” the Deku Tree sighed heavily. “Hylia, the last Hero who managed to get as manic and talkative as you was supposedly a selective mute too. But no, I never saw that side of him because all Navi had to do was push his buttons in the right direction and he was a loose canon.”_

_“I don’t know who Navi is, but I bet they’re a little bitch,” Link snarled._

_“Okay, now you’re just taking your anger out unnecessarily,” Mipha sighed. “Link come here and make lunch for us.”_

_“Oh I’ll make lunch as soon as this fucking tree tells me how to--”_

_“Link,” Mipha warned, her eyes stern. “Lunch._ Now.”

_Glaring at Mipha, Link gave up and stomped pathetically over to the campfire. Plopping down on his ass, he reached into his pack to look for something to cook and almost immediately a small pack of Koroks ran up to him with offerings of mushrooms._

_“Try this, Mr. Hero!” one little one offered. “My big brother says it has magic!”_

_“Mmm, sure, whatever,” Link sighed complacently, and almost tossed the shroom into the cooking pot before Mipha stopped him._

_“Um, no,” Mipha protested. “That’s the one that ended in you waking up ass naked and suspended in the air because you had tied yourself to thirty octoballoons.”_

_“Well, maybe I want to wake up ass naked defying gravity, Mipha,” Link spat. “It’d be better than this.”_

_Mipha, losing her patience, stomped in front of Link and dropped down into a pointed squat to glare at him, “I am not using my healing powers to pump your stomach again, I don’t care how frustratingly beautiful you are!”_

_“Oh, you’re no fun,” Link scoffed. “I’m sure if I puked enough of it back up, I’d be fine!”_

_“‘Yeah, if Revali can even get you_ down!” _Mipha pointed out. “Do you have any idea how high up he had to fly just to untie you from those balloons!?”_

_“Ten feet?”_

_“Try the stratosphere, dumbass!” Revali snapped. “You flew past the ozone layer and I’m impressed you didn’t get skin cancer from how burnt you were!”_

_“And the sword thinks I’m competent,” Link grumbled, stabbing a chicken leg through with a wooden spear._

_“You_ are _competent, Link,” Mipha sighed._

_“Well, now I’m thinking of all the other times we’ve had to bail him out of something,” Revali crossed his arms. “And I’m not so sure.”_

_“Revali, you aren’t helping,” Mipha pointed out._

_“Truth hurts, Princess,” Revali rolled his eyes. “And if the truth of the matter is that the Hero of our time is a wild, gay little bastard who can’t even tell a poisonous mushroom from_ weed _, then we’re fucked.”_

 _“Oh I’m sorry!” Link snarled at the fucking bird. “Do you_ not _want me to save you the next time you fly into a bird net designed to trap_ finches!?”

_“I do that one time!”_

_“You’re not even finch sized! You’re people sized! You should’ve knocked that thing down!”_

_“Boys!” Mipha shouted, covering her face in her hands. “Hylia, you two are worse than my brother and his friend!”_

_“Well, maybe your brother needs to get on our level!”_

_“He’s a_ child,” _Mipha glared at Link. “He doesn’t need to be flying into bird nets or inflating octoballoons or doing_ anything _related to being high and making mistakes.”_

_“Oh come onnnnn,” Link teased, forming a lopsided grin. “You don’t want Sidon to grow up to be a degenerate?”_

_“Oh, I forget how infuriating you can be when you’re taking your frustration out,” Mipha groaned. “I’m going to go to the little Korok market and get something to go with the chicken, okay?”_

_“Kay,” Link grumbled._

_Mipha then looked up at Revali and ordered, “Keep an eye on him.”_

_“Sure,” Revali rolled his eyes._

_“And behave yourself.”_

_“When have I ever misbehaved?”_

_“I have an ongoing list,” Mipha crossed her arms and gave him a pointed look. “I’ll be back.”_

_“Yes, Miphaaaa,” Link and Revali droned almost simultaneously. Then Revali was the one who let out a scoff, “Who does she think she is, telling me to behave? My mother?”_

_“I dunno,” Link shrugged. “Depends on what your mother’s like?”_

_Link looked up at Revali expecting a snide glare being fired in his direction. Instead, Link had to pause when he saw a...forlorn and fixated expression in those emerald green eyes._

_Those...beautiful eyes. They were like little gemstones._

_Oh fuck, Link’s gay was showing again._

_“Revali?” Link asked, but Revali only turned his back to Link and remained in thought. “Oh hell, dude, don’t tell me your mom croaked or something, I’m about to feel like an asshole.”_

_“Well, I wouldn’t really know it if she did,” Revali sighed, looking up to the sky. “She gave me up for adoption before I even hatched and then no one ever bothered to take me in...not that you’d care to know.”_

_Oh._

Oh.

_“Oh shit,” Link felt his ears drooping. Oh noooooo, he was beyond an asshole! “Revali, I’m so sorry.”_

_“Don’t be,” Revali scoffed, “The way I see it, I’d rather be born with parents who gave me up than to be heartbroken by a father like yours who would disown me the minute I came out.”_

_“Oh GEE,” Link snapped, not mentally prepared for his heart to be shattered into pieces, “Thanks for reminding me, but I guess I deserve it.”_

_“What?” Revali snapped his head around in surprise suddenly. “No, I--I was talking about--”_

_Before Revali could even muster up the words to say it, a small band of little_ tiny _Koroks scurried up to them both._

_“Mr. Hero! Mr. Hero!” one of the littlest ones squeaked. He carried a piece of paper with him and somehow in spite of being a leaf Link could tell he was nervous, “I...have a question…”_

_“Yeah?” Link chuckled, turning his attention to what he guessed were children. “What’s up?”_

_The littlest korok looked to Revali and leaned forward, “Is that...is that the master bird?”_

_“Master bird?” Link choked on his own spit as he watched Revali perk up. “You mean Revali?”_

_“Oh my gosh!” the littlest korok gasped, tumbling into Link’s leg. “It really is him! He can fly like a superhero! Can I--can I get his autograph, Mr. Hero?”_

_“Uhhhh,” Link droned. “Sure, but you’ll have to ask him.”_

_“Ohhh, I’m nervous!” the littest Korok squeaked, though his little friends pushed him forward to talk to Revali. Link almost looked up and gave Revali a lecture to behave, but when he met the Rito warrior’s gaze, he saw the softest, warmest look in Revali’s eyes._

_He knelt down to huddle over the little koroks, then held a feathered wing out to offer, “Say, you kids know about me?”_

_“Why of course!” a slightly bigger korok cheered. “You’re Revali! The fastest of all the Rito! You’re like a superhero!”_

_“A...superhero?” Revali puffed his chest out a little bit. “Well, I kind of like the sound of that!”_

_Link watched in pure amazement as all of the barriers and thresholds just..._ dropped _instantaneously around Revali. He didn’t just let these kids come in close, he let them sit on his lap or perch on his shoulder. He entertained them for almost the full_ hour _Mipha was at the store (he didn’t know what was taking her so long, there were only so many places she could go), and even held his biggest fan up in the air so the little thing could pretend he was flying._

_“Hey Link! Look!” Revali cheered, as if he had forgotten that they were perpetual rivals, “I’m famous here!”_

_“Well…” Link shook himself out of his daze. Holy fuck, this was actually happening. “Of course you are! You’re the greatest warrior in all the Rito! You even say so yourself!”_

_“Yeah, but I didn’t actually think I’d be famous!” Revali grinned, his eyes sparkling with delight. “This is insane! I don’t know how to be famous!”_

_“Revali, you’ve been famous--”_

_“No I haven’t!”_

_“Princess Zelda scouted you herself!”_

_“I thought that was because I was a last resort!”_

_“A last--” Link blinked several times, lost in thought as a pair of korok parents came to gather the small herd and thank Revali for spending so much time with them. Once it was just_ them _again, Link couldn’t help but ask, “How’d you get so good with kids, anyway?”_

_“Hmm?” Revali grunted, his head doing the little bird twitches as he processed the question. Then he looked down, his gaze soft, “Oh I...I was the oldest at the orphanage for a very long time so I looked after the little chicks that would come through between foster homes or the eggs that were put up for adoption. You could say I’m more comfortable talking to little ones than I am people my own age because of that. That’s all. There’s nothing more to it.”_

_“Awww,” Link couldn’t help but lean back a little. Oh_ no _, he never expected Revali to be so soft. He was doomed._

_Revali immediately glared up at him, those barriers coming back up, “Don’t patronize me, Link.”_

_“I-I’m not!” Link insisted, losing his voice suddenly, so he switched to his hands. “I think it’s sweet. Those kids must’ve been lucky to have you.”_

_“I wouldn’t say they were lucky,” Revali protested. “But I gave them what I could.”_

_“You gave them love,” Link switched to a cross-legged position and hugged his legs. He felt all warm and bubbly inside. “That’s pretty amazing.”_

_Revali hunkered over himself a little, eyes flitting from the ground to Link and back. Then, for the first time ever, Revali actually threw Link a bone, “I...didn’t mean to make you feel called out earlier, Link. I wasn’t trying to judge you, I just meant that I don’t think I could handle what Geoff has put you through. It’s not fair of him to treat you the way he does.”_

_“Well,” Link sighed, trying hard not to think of his father. “On the plus side, my old man doesn’t know I’m gay yet.”_

_“But you can’t even tell him,” Revali shook his head, “That’s...that’s awful. I don’t know what I’d do if any of the chicks at the orphanage didn’t feel like they could talk to me. Especially Reba.”_

_“Who’s Reba?” Link perked up. Revali was just full of surprises that day and Link couldn’t deny anymore that he had fallen in love._

_“She...she’s a very special little girl,” Revali admitted. Link’s heart fell suddenly._

_“Oh,” Link looked down. “Your girlfriend?”_

_“WHAT?” Revali snapped. “No, you dolt, she’s a chick that I’ve cared for since she was an egg. She’s very shy so it’s been hard for her to get adopted.”_

_“Oh,” Link sighed in relief. Why was he relieved? “You two must be close.”_

_“She’s more like a little sister to me but…” Revali hung his head low. “When I’m old enough, I’m going to get her out of that place. She deserves a place to call home. She deserves a family.”_

_“And so do you,” Link nodded. “I think you two could be very happy as a family together.”_

_Revali stayed quiet for a long moment after that. So quiet, that Link almost felt a little awkward, rocking back and forth on his ass five feet apart from his friend who was also his rival who was also giving him a frustrating boner. When the silence was almost unbearable, Revali spoke up with the softest chirp, “Link?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_A soft, heavy sigh: “I’m gay too.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first of all, I had to walk away from my laptop because the visual of Link tripping balls on some bad shrooms, floating ass first into the stratosphere while Revali - probably also on a trip - trying to get him down is just. It had me squawking okay. 
> 
> I also have been trying to nail down Mipha's pining when she's not nervously pining for Link and WOW Mipha being Done with Link's bullshit and mother henning him is exactly like Sidon, the apple does not fall far from that tree at ALL. 
> 
> And also like...if you think Time WASN'T a loose canon Hero like Wild is, did you even see the first round of Game Grumps's Majora's Mask playthrough? Did you even see Arin have his Dampe meltdown? You can't tell me that Time wasn't consistently screaming, he astral projected into Twilight's era just to make a point. Time's a dramatic hoe just trying to play it cool for the Linked Universe crew because he has to be the Team Dad. You can't change my mind. 
> 
> Also also...Revali being soft makes me s o f t and I never realized I could love this damn birb as much as I do the fish prince. But speaking of the fish prince uhhhhhhhh if anyone ever wondered how Rho magically manifested in FGA. This fic might provide some answers. Not mandatory for understanding FGA this shit's like bonus content on crack but. Still a good time and as ridiculous as you can expect from Link's end.


	4. Happy Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link's not the only one with repressed memories. While he can normally keep a jolly face, there's one particular day out of the year that Sidon can never seem to get away from. This year, he's forced to confront it with not just a boyfriend, but a daughter as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *inhales* ahhhhhhhh the FGA foreshadowing I sorely needed but didn't want to have to insert into SEPA because I'm happy with SEPA just the way it is. That little gem need not be touched for nostalgic reasons dammit. 
> 
> But also. I'm not gonna lie, this chapter goes from soft birb to dumber than rocks to a Sad Sidon bit that upset Alex into hyperfixating on Nikko being a dumbass. And I do apologize, this is a very Link-centered fic but if you've read FGA, you know there is a big ol' elephant in the room that I do have to address on Sidon's end so I can just absolutely spring board Link into his bullshit as it pertains to yelling his gay to the creepy statue outside of Hateno and attempting to make fish babies. sOOOOOOOO bare with me. 
> 
> Also. School starts monday, we're fully virtual, and if I hear "let's practice doing Zoom break-out rooms" one more time I will absolutely scream but I need break-out rooms to work on Tuesday. Do we have a vaccine yet? No? Okay, I'll just be lesson planning on the weekends now and figuring out a new update schedule. :P
> 
> ENJOY!

_ “So...how do Rito even make out?” Link blurted aloud as he swung his axe. The blade came down on a large log, splitting it in two pieces which fell into plush snow. Behind him, Revali - who had loooong since given up on helping chop wood - scoffed.  _

_ “What do you even mean by ‘make out’?” he asked, leaning against his own axe. “That sounds terrible.” _

_ “It’s--it’s kissing!” Link defended. “How do you kissing! Explain!” _

_ Revali just stuck his beak up even higher like the snooty little bird he was. “Ugh, the very thought of kissing sounds both disgusting and painful. Rito don’t  _ kiss. _ Unless you want me to poke your eye out. Honestly, Link where do you even get off--” _

_ “Hylians kiss, Revali,” Link retorted, rolling his eyes. “Hylians like kissing. Now stop judging me if you aren’t even going to help gather the wood!”  _

_ “Mmmmm,” Revali groaned stubbornly. “I’m rather tired, can’t I watch you chop the wood?” _

_ “No!” Link shook his head, panting from exhaustion as small little clouds billowed out of his mouth in the cold. “Revali this is your house we’re building, you need to help!” _

_ Revali let out another disgruntled hum, but lifted his axe over his shoulder. Placing a feathery hand on his hip, he admitted, “Well, kiss all you like Link, but - again - unless you want your eye accidentally gouged out, I’m not reciprocating.” _

_ “Then…” Link still could not believe this is how his life had changed in the last year. But here they were. Gay, dating, and dangerously employed. And Revali was still convinced he could somehow convince the Rito that he was responsible enough to adopt his little sister. “How do Rito even show affection? Or do you guys like to just stay emotionally constipated?” _

_ “Oh you’re so funny,” Revali shook his head sarcastically, the lilt in his voice hinting at his annoyance. “Well, for your information Link, Rito are much more sensible in their affectionate displays than you silly Hylians.” _

_ “So then what do you do?” _

_ There was a little twinkle in Revali’s eyes when he stated simply, “We brood.” _

_ Link felt his brow furrow in confusion: “Huh?” _

_ “Brooding,” Revali shrugged. “What, you’ve never done that before?” _

_ “No?” _

_ “Hm,” Revali tweeted, tipping his head to the side. “Alright, put your axe down, I’ll show you.” _

_ “Uhhhh,” Link droned, but did as he was instructed. “So what do I gotta do?” _

_ “Just stand there,” Revali instructed, although he looked way too amused for his own good. Link crossed his arms in confusion, feeling the slightest hint of a shiver run up his spine from the cold. As Revali approached, imposing his height over Link’s tiny twinky frame, Link almost wondered if this was about to be a sexual thing.  _

_ He didn’t really want it to be a sexual thing. _

_ Link had never been formally taught sexual things and he barely knew how to please his own anatomy and it still concerned him that Rito and Zora were both able to chill practically naked and their junk never popped out. He didn’t even know what Zora or Rito junk looked like. Did anyone know what they looked like? Someone had to, how else were babies born?  _

_ “You look nervous,” Revali observed, just twisting the knife already gouging into Link’s brain.  _

_ “I don’t know what you’re planning,” Link admitted, his hands making small motions to mimic what could have been a very small voice. _

_ Revali rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Calm down, I’m not going to eat you.” Then, without saying jackshit, Revali spread his wings as if to take to the air. Instead of doing that, he sort of just...fell forward.  _

_ On top of Link.  _

_ “REVALI!” Link jumped as Revali collapsed on top of him. His reaction time was just a hair slow and they both collapsed into the snow. For as tall as he was, Revali had never  _ ever _ been considered a large man by Rito standards. He was always feather light and up until very very recently, it infuriated Revali how easily Link could just pluck him off the ground and move him somewhere else. But in this moment, in this specific moment, Link actually felt pinned into the ground by the way Revali was forcing himself on top of him. He could hardly breathe and it took all of his strength just to wriggle his head out from under the damn bird. “What are you doing!?” _

_ “I already told you,” Revali hummed, his voice sounding as if he were in a trance, “Brooding.” _

_ “Yes, but  _ what--” _ Link started, but paused when he felt soft little rumbles emanating from Revali’s chest. He paused, looked up at his boyfriend, and realized the pigeon’s eyes had slipped closed and he was...well...cooing like a pigeon.  _

_ Did he fall asleep? _

_ “Revali,” Link grunted again. Instead of a jump squawk, Revali’s eyebrows furrowed and he gave an annoyed little hum. _

_ “Whaaaaat?” Revali droned.  _

_ “I don’t understand brooding,” Link explained. Revali’s head fell face-first into the snow.  _

_ “How do you not understand it?” Revali snapped back, his voice muffled a little. “There’s not much else to get!” _

_ “But you’re just…” Link wriggled a little and he couldn’t help but notice how  _ soft _ Revali’s feathers were. Were his hands brushing into the down feathers? Ohhhh have mercy, he was so fluffy. And the little rumbles of his trilling was, dare he say it, adorable.  _

_ “I’m showing my affection, dammit,” Revali snapped between trills, “Let me love you.” _

_ At that, Link froze a little, eyeing the way Revali’s eyes squinted closed and he forcibly sank them both deeper into the snow. Honestly, if he thought about it, Link felt more like a little baby cucco trapped under the weight of their mama hen and--oh sweet Hylia, Revali really was a fucking bird. Link understood brooding now.  _

_ Still though, in spite of his emotional constipation and total confusion, Link couldn’t help but notice the way his heart fluttered in his chest.  _

_ Love.  _

_ Revali loved him? _

_ A green eye slipped open, catching the way Link stared up at Revali. Eyes squinting suspiciously, Revali asked, “What are you staring at me for?” _

_ “Oh,” Link grunted, his face flushing in spite of the cold. Then, he broke out into a smile and lifted his head. Freeing an arm to wrap around Revali’s neck, Link placed a small kiss on the top of his beak and admitted, “I think I like brooding.” _

_ As unreadable as ever, Revali stared almost vacantly at Link, but in a surprisingly gentle motion, he nuzzled himself against Link’s chest and the two continued laying there. They basked in each other’s warmth until the snow and ice sucked their remaining body heat away. Even then, it took a lot of convincing from the elders who found them in the snow to go back to the village.  _

* * *

Link jerked awake with a gasp as he came to. He wasn’t in the snow anymore, but rather a bed. His bed. Crisp winter air had been replaced with the humidity of the Domain. As Link touched a hand to his face, he noted that he was crying in his sleep again, but that wasn’t what concerned him. 

Sitting up was way too easy. Also, he didn’t have a large pair of loving golden eyes hovering nervously over him. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, Link surveyed the room. Where was his big buff boy?

“Sidon?” Link called, wondering if his boyfriend was just in the bathroom. He hoped Sidon was just in the bathroom; it meant he wasn’t too far but also he didn’t have to wake up to Link crying in his sleep again. He hated worrying Sidon like that. He hated not knowing why this was happening. He couldn’t just tell Sidon that everything was okay because, honestly, he couldn’t be certain that everything was okay. 

He couldn’t be certain why he kept waking up feeling so unbelievably  _ angry _ at Revali. And that seemed to be what scared Sidon the most. 

When no answer came, Link hopped out of bed and pulled the comforter over his shoulders to take with him. He didn’t quite feel like putting pants on, but on the off chance Sidon was curled up with Nami on his chest, he didn’t want their daughter discovering what Hylian genitalia looked like either. Hobbling out the door, Link traveled down a long hallway until he reached Nami’s room. When he poked his head in, he found her sound asleep, her little snores creating bubbles just above the water. Smiling to himself, Link closed the door and continued looking for his sweet, loving shark of a boyfriend. 

“Sidooooon?” Link called out quietly. It was very rare for Sidon to take a midnight stroll without telling Link, so he hoped Sidon wasn’t too far. 

Thankfully he wasn’t, for Link found him just outside the great room standing at the balcony. With his back turned to Link, Sidon’s crimson scales shimmered brilliantly in the moonlight like little rubies. Link had to lean against the doorway and sigh to himself at the sight, eyeing the way the moonlight danced off Sidon’s strong back and arm muscles. Sometimes it seemed like that man could carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. Other times it seemed like he was honestly trying to accomplish just that. But really, all Link wanted to see Sidon carrying was a sweet little giggly girl in his arms. And...maybe a few more little ones. 

A sudden shifting in weight and a gasp pulled Link out of his thoughts. When he looked up, he saw Sidon ducking his head down and his heart fell. Was Sidon...crying?

“Babe?” Link asked, pulling Sidon out of his thoughts with a start. Sidon jumped and spun around, the smallest little water droplets falling out of his eyes as he did so. 

“Oh!” Sidon rubbed at his eyes, straightening his posture. “Link, I’m so sorry, did I wake you?”

“No,” Link admitted, “I woke myself up and my emotional support shark wasn’t laying on top of me.”

“I’m sorry, Link,” Sidon frowned, deflating a little bit. “I’ll come back to bed, straight away, I promise--”

“No, wait, hang on,” Link stepped in front of Sidon a little, looking up at his  _ extremely _ tall boyfriend. “What’s wrong?”

“Hm?” Sidon grunted, trying desperately to play dumb. “Oh...nothing, my pearl. I promise, I just couldn’t sleep is all.”

“Why not?” Link asked, tilting his head and his ears. Sidon grew quiet and looked down at the ground. Holding back every frustrated noise threatening to spill out of him, Link took hold of Sidon’s hand and insisted, “Babe, you can tell me.”

“I…” Sidon’s eyes started welling with tears all over again and his voice trailed off. “It’s uh...it’s nothing.”

Link narrowed his eyes and waited while Sidon made a series of himhaws and rocked back on his feet in frustration before he finally admitted, “Okay, fine. I didn’t want you to see me like this ever and I couldn’t sleep so I stepped outside for some fresh air.”

“Sidon,” Link reached up to brush a stray tear off of Sidon’s cheek before signing, “I’ve been nothing but an emotional trainwreck the last few weeks, you can talk to me.”

“It’s old history, Link, I shouldn’t be dwelling on it--”

“So is my shit!”

“Well, that’s different!” Sidon protested, but when Link crossed his arms and glared up at him, the proud Zora prince let out a growl and spun around to face the Domain again. With a long, sad little sigh, Sidon braced his hands against the railing and looked out to the city. “This balcony….is where I spent a lot of time with my best friend when we were younger…”

Link felt his ears and heart fall. In all their time together - as friends and boyfriends - he had never heard Sidon mention or refer to anyone as a best friend. Except for maybe when he was showering Link with compliments before either of them admitted they were gay. Oh. Oh no--

“Sidon, I’m so sorry--” Link started, but Sidon cut him off with another frustrated noise. 

“I need to not think about that,” Sidon shook his head. “I can't, I just...around this time of year, it seems like it’s  _ all _ I can think about. Especially today.”

“Why today?” Link asked, pulling the comforter tighter around him. 

There was a moment’s pause before Sidon admitted, “Today is...someone’s birthday. And they aren’t here anymore.”

Link couldn’t help but approach his quickly crumbling boyfriend and place a hand on his trembling arm. “Who?”

With glassy eyes, Sidon held it together, but suddenly looked as if all the strength had left him. The man who could normally move mountains with a smile on his face barely looked like he could lift his own head. That only worried Link more. When Sidon finally looked up, he sucked back all his tears and breathed, “I don’t even know what they  _ look like _ now...I--I’m sorry,  _ he. _ I think? I don’t know, he always felt like a  _ them _ to me…”

Link really started to grow concerned. Leaning forward, he asked again, “Sidon, who are you talking about?”

As if he had been in a trance, Sidon’s gaze flitted down to Link as he snapped back into reality. “Oh...I--I’m sorry, Link, I shouldn’t burden you with any of this.”

“Sidon, I’m your boyfriend, I want to know about your life,” Link explained. “And this seems really important to you.”

The frown that tugged at Sidon’s lips seemed to silence him further as Link watched his boyfriend visibly wrestling with seemingly repressed memories. In a sudden whiplash, Sidon blurted, “I don’t think I’m fit to be a father, Link.”

“I’m sorry--what?” Link balked, standing upright. “Babe, it’s a little late to be wondering about that--”

“I’m not fitting, her parents wouldn’t have wanted me to replace them, Link, I shouldn’t be doing this--”

“Woah, woah, woah!” Link took hold of Sidon’s hands as his anxiety spun out of control out of nowhere. Where the  _ hell _ was this coming from?! “Sidon you’re not replacing her parents! You’re--you’re everything that little girl has ever wanted and more just by being you. You’re a great dad, Sidon.”

Sidon just  _ pouted _ at Link with tearful eyes but said nothing. Link stood frozen, wanting to just take whatever pain and grief Sidon was feeling away. This wasn’t like Sidon. Normally, it was Link who was stoically silent and depressed with repressed memories, not the other way around. He didn’t know what to do other than what Sidon always did for him. Tugging on Sidon’s hands, Link forced a smile and offered, “Let’s go to bed. Whatever you need to cry out...you can do it in front of me.”

“Link, I’ll just keep you awake,” Sidon finally spoke up, his voice thick with sorrow and the best guess Link could come up with was that he was mourning a friend’s death on a birthday. If only Link had known just how right he was. 

“I’d rather be awake to hold you than fall asleep knowing you’re going through this by yourself,” Link admitted, squeezing Sidon’s hands again. “Please.”

The words that came out of Sidon’s mouth next seemed automatic, without thought. That didn’t mean they didn’t break Link’s heart any less: “Why? I’ve done it alone before, I don’t mind.”

“Sidon--” Link’s voice caught in his throat suddenly. He was by no means a sympathetic crier, but something in the way Sidon spoke so nonchalantly just shattered him. What was worse was that this all felt so painfully, agonizingly familiar. It was a different face and a different time, but the feeling still cut through him like a knife. “Come home with me, don’t shut me out!”

“Come home? But Link, we already are--” Sidon started, sounding almost confused until he looked down at Link again. “Oh--Link, my love, I’m so sorry--I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings!” 

“Sidon, it’s okay, just come to bed,” Link said again, rubbing at his eyes. “Please. You don’t have to tell me what happened, I won’t ask about it just don’t push me away.”

“I...okay,” Sidon finally relented, “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Link sighed, finally pulling his boyfriend back inside and to their room. As they settled back into bed and Link relaxed under the familiar weight on top of him, he felt Sidon suck in a breath as if he were holding in a sob. “Sidon?”

“Am I really what’s best for her?” Sidon asked tearfully. “Do I really deserve to be her father?”

“Sidon, I think Nami already answered that question for you,” Link answered, squeezing Sidon tightly. “She might not’ve been born of you, but she chose you to be her father as much as you chose her to be your daughter.”

“Her parents should be here,” Sidon shook his head. “It’s my fault they’re dead, and I--”

“Sidon, I can promise you that her parents would want nothing more than for someone to look after their baby bird for them,” Link said, then immediately caught the words that came out of his mouth and thanked the goddesses that Sidon was too deep in wallowing to register it. 

Baby...bird? Oh  _ hell _ no, this was worse than the dog. Wait, but did Reba take care of the dog? But who took care of Reba? Wait, no, Reba was Revali’s sister, that couldn’t be right! 

“So you don’t think….you don’t think they would resent me? Vali wouldn’t resent me?”

“Not at all,” Link shook his head, forcing his brain to factory reset. “Is...Vali the name of Nami’s father?”

Sidon stiffened suddenly, “....No, that’s Mako. And Nela was her mother’s name. She was one of my school mates.”

“Is….Vali your best friend?”

Another tearful sigh, “He was…”

Link felt his heart fall. “Is...today Vali’s birthday?”

Sidon let out a squeak and Link felt hot tears fall onto his chest, “No…”

“Then...whose birthday is it?” Link dared to ask, but Sidon shut down again. Thankfully, he was at least communicating instead of dissociating. 

“Link, I don’t want to talk about it,” Sidon wept, burying his face into Link’s chest. Link held him, resting his chin on the top of Sidon’s very large head. 

“Okay, we don’t have to,” Link said, “I’ll just hold you and you can tell me as much or as little as you want.”

“I think I just want to go to sleep.”

“We can do that too,” Link answered, his eyes slipping closed. They held each other in silence, Link counting Sidon’s breaths, until they inevitably rocked each other to sleep. 

* * *

_ Bazz fucking hated Death Mountain. He hated elixirs, they tasted nasty and somehow managed to dehydrate him even more than he already was. He hated that elixirs didn’t really seem to save him from the oppressing heat of Goron City. Hell, they didn’t even protect the soles of his feet!  _

_ “Rivan’s so fucking lucky that he’s missing this,” Bazz finally grumbled, earning a side-eyed glance from both Princess Mipha and Gaddison. Oh boo hoo, he could bitch all he wanted, he was miserable and still had yet to figure out why the Princess even  _ wanted _ to make this trip! It wasn’t like she was flirting with Link anymore! He didn’t need to wingman for her anymore! At least for people that he knew of!  _

_ Link, speak of the devil, looked up at Bazz inquisitively as he wiped the sweat from his brow. “Yeah, where is Rivan?” _

_ “He’s on medical leave,” Mipha stated simply. “The baby and her mother seemed to be in quite a hurry.” _

_ “Oh! Your little friend is having a little one?” the Goron Daruk perked up. “That must be exciting. From what I understand, you Zora and Hylians spend a lot more time raising your pebbles than we do. Isn’t that exhausting?” _

_ “Wouldn’t know, I don’t have kids,” Bazz grumbled. “And I can’t say that I plan to.” _

_ “Awww, really?” Mipha frowned, pouting up at him. Bazz winced. Oh no. Oh no, did  _ she _ want kids? It would make sense, Mipha was the Crown Princess after all and she was so  _ darling _ with her little brother. They were practically conjoined at the hip back home in the Domain. And okay, if he had a kid like Sidon, Bazz would be open to it. If the kid had a mother like Princess Mipha, he would be more than open to it.  _

_ Bazz felt his entire brain reset when his thoughts came to a screeching halt right then and there. Nope. Nu-uh. He wasn't gonna think about it. He wasn’t gonna think about that one tiny bit. He wasn’t Mipha’s type and he wasn’t gonna push it.  _

_ “Oh, give it a decade, Princess,” Gaddison teased, elbowing Bazz as she spoke, “I promise you when little Dunma’s born, she’s gonna have her Uncle Bazz wrapped around her little pinky.” _

_ Bazz gave a defeated grunt, not wanting Gadd to be right, then melted in embarrassment when he noted how  _ beautiful _ Mipha’s bright booming laughter was.  _

_ He wished she laughed like that more often. But then he remembered she was laughing at his expense. Oh Hylia, help him.  _

_ “Yeah, so,” Link finally blurted, the gears in his head visibly turning as he signed, “I’m confused, I didn’t know Rivan had a girlfriend? Or a baby mama?” _

_ “Well!” Gaddison grimaced, “I also can’t say that said baby mama uhhhhh planned on a relationship with Rivan. It just sorta….happened.” _

_ “Oh shit,” Link grimaced. “Well, I’m glad Rivan’s doing what he can to support her.” _

_ Suddenly, Bazz found himself, Mipha, and Gaddison all jerking to a stop just to stare at Link.  _

_ Link and Daruk both paused ahead of them to face the three Zora in confusion. “What?” Link asked.  _

_ When he realized no one else would, Bazz finally offered up the latest gossip from their friend group. After all, it wasn’t like Link meant to miss out on the bullshit. He had ‘royal duties’ to Hyrule now. As in, with all his prowess and esteem with both Rito and Zora, not even including the fact that he could now wield the Master Sword, King Rhoam decided to appoint Link as the chief babysitter for Princess Zelda. Right, because he wasn’t dealing with enough, Link needed to be responsible for an angry teen.  _

_ Not like Bazz didn’t still technically count as one himself, according to his friends, but still.  _

_ With a groan, Bazz explained, “Yeah so...Rivan doesn’t want shit to do with the mother. She’s been a complete and total ass to him ever since she found out she was gravid.” _

_ “Yeaaaaah,” Gaddison rolled her eyes, “He’s just been  _ waiting _ until he could take the egg and be more or less done with her. I don’t even think he’s going to ask for child support. I mean, the benefits we get from the Royal Guard - especially once we have a degree - are more than enough for him to support them both.” _

_ Bazz watched as Gaddison said more than he knew Link knew, then watched as his very Hylian friend’s eye twitched. “He...took an egg? Like a chicken egg?” _

_ “A Zora egg, numbnuts,” Bazz rolled his eyes, “We aren’t like the Rito. I mean we are, but…” _

_ “Link,” Mipha finally interjected, “How much do you know about Zora?” _

_ “Uh,” Link grunted. “I know you can breathe underwater.” _

_ “Oh Hylia,” Gaddison sighed, then looked at Bazz. “Should we tell him?” _

_ “I don’t think we should tell him,” Mipha shook her head with wide eyes.  _

_ “Honestly, I just wanna see his reaction,” Bazz snickered. Hylians always had a way of being weird about shit they couldn’t directly relate to. Like sex. Hylians just made everything pertaining to sex so unbelievably awkward that they invented restrictive clothing out of embarrassment. While Link was the exception to the rule on most Hylian stereotypes, Bazz had a feeling that Link’s reaction was about to be amazing.  _

_ As Daruk scratched his head in confusion at the unspoken tension between the quartet, he broke the silence, “I don’t mean to be rude but...did something happen that prevented your friend from carrying the egg?” _

_ “Oh don’t worry, nothing happened,” Bazz grinned deviously as he watched Link’s confusion and alarm start to rise. “Rivan and the egg are perfectly healthy.” _

_ “Whyyyyyyyy should I be concerned about Rivan’s health?” Link asked stupidly. Shockingly, amazingly, beautifully, it was Mipha who finally threw in the towel with a frustrated scream. _

_ “Oh sweet Hylia above, Link, Rivan’s pregnant!” Mipha announced, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration. Link, in turn, stared blankly at Mipha and Bazz couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore.  _

_ Blinking several times, Link grunted, “What?” _

_ “He’s pregnant,” Gaddison explained. “Kara laid the egg so now he gets to hatch it? I assumed this was obvious?” _

_ Link was visibly short-circuiting and if his feet didn’t already feel like hot potatoes on the ground, Bazz would’ve sat down because he was laughing so hard. “But she…” Link continued blinking as if he could see literal calculus equations in front of his face. “She laid an egg.” _

_ “Yeeeees,” Gaddison nodded her head. “That’s just how this works for Zora.” _

_ “I don’t…” Link trailed off. “I don’t get it.” _

_ “Which part?” _

_ “Any of it.” _

_ “Okay!” Mipha gestured firmly at Link, smiling through the stress that his ignorance was causing. “I’m going to explain this to you  _ exactly _ how I explained this to my brother when he asked where babies come from.” _

_ “O-okay?” Link answered, looking extremely concerned as Mipha directed all of her attention to him. _

_ “Are you familiar with seahorses?” Mipha asked. _

_ “Yeah?” Link nodded. Mipha pursed her lips into a thin smile and paused. And waited. And Link kept doing math equations even though he was bad at math. Mipha continued waiting less than patiently until it finally clicked and Link’s entire face contorted with alarm. “W-wait. WAIT! Zora are like  _ seahorses!?”

_ “Well, I wouldn’t say--” Gaddison started, but Mipha shushed her. _

_ “Yes, Link,” Mipha said. “We are. Like seahorses.” _

_ “But that means,” Link was backing away from her and Bazz braced himself for a typical Hylian dialogue. Instead, Link came out of left field again and yelled, “DID HE HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH HER AGAIN!?” _

_ “That’s….a good question that I didn’t want to ask,” Gaddison answered. “Because the alternative was going to the doctor and he was about as pissed about that option as he was the usual one.” _

_ Link was screaming incoherently as he dropped into a squat, “This hoe was being an ass to him and he had to fuck her!? For one last hoo ha horrah?! That’s terrible! The next thing you’re gonna tell me is that Gorons just sprout baby rocks off their backs!” _

_ “Well, actually!” Daruk perked up again because he could actually contribute to the conversation. “That’s exactly how it works!” _

_ Bazz did fall on his ass when Link shrieked in horror.  _

_ “What?!” Link screamed, “What are you guys, pop rocks?!” _

_ “Well,” Daruk looked down in thought as he scratched the top of his head. “In a way we are...sometimes when the spuds on our backs get too heavy or too large they’ll just...pop off and you get a new little brother! It’s kind of exciting! Scary if you’re in the middle of town because those suckers like to roll away on you and it’s easy to mistake the little guys for the eating rocks.” _

_ The noise that came out of Link was something unholy. If Bazz’s sides weren’t hurting so much, he might’ve shared the same level of concern that Mipha and Gadd were now wearing on their faces.  _

_ “Daruk...you don’t...you don’t actually mistake your offspring for food...right?” Mipha dared to ask, hoping Daruk was just pulling Link’s leg. But Daruk, as loveable as he was, looked absolutely serious.  _

_ “Oh it’s true! It’s scary when it happens too because...well, the little guys are so new and also they taste very bad,” Daruk explained. “We keep them in a pen until they’re old enough to walk. I gained a little brother last week actually if you wanna meet him!” _

_ “You...sprouted a baby Goron,” Link spat in disbelief. “Last week?” _

_ “Yup!” Daruk nodded, grinning as he waved them up a hill beyond the Shrine.  _

_ Bazz and the others followed Daruk to the east end of town, away from the buildings until they reached a small metal pen where close to twenty little pop rocks were just rolling around. At the front of the pen was a large sign that read, “BABIES. NO EATING.” _

_ “See?” Daruk pointed to one sleeping rock in the middle, “That’s him!” _

_ “Oh Daruk,” Mipha smiled wearily, “He’s beautiful!” _

_ Daruk nodded, though his smile wavered for a moment and he grunted, “Actually...that might be one of the snacks the elder brought in this morning...oh! Now I see him, Little Brother’s the one rolling in circles! Well….that could be Runia’s pebble….hmm. Well, usually they’re easy to tell apart when they’re older and I’ll look after one of them eventually.” _

_ “That’s….very exciting,” Mipha was still trying, bless her entire heart. “You must be very proud, Daruk.” _

_ “Yeah?” Daruk asked jovially. “Why’s that?” _

_ The light started to fade from Mipha’s eyes as a piece of her soul left her. “I don’t know.” _

_ Daruk shrugged her confusion off and broke out into a hearty laugh. For some reason, after that, Bazz realized he had an understanding of Gorons that he never exactly asked for.  _

* * *

Bazz wanted to dissociate from existence as he fished out the thirteenth rock from the bottom of the lake. “Is….this your pebble?” he asked when he breached the surface, holding it up to the Goron merchant. Bazz had learned in recent years that Goron Pebbles really  _ really _ resembled regular rocks and unless they uncurled themselves there was no way to tell them apart. And Pebbles very rarely uncurled themselves before they started walking.

“Uhhhh,” the merchant leaned forward, squinting at the rock in Bazz’s hands. “I don’t...know. Maybe put it on the dock in case it starts rolling? Is there anything else about that size down there?”

Bazz wasn’t paid enough for this type of bullshit. He’d never say it out loud because he was paid a  _ lot _ compared to the average Zora. But still. As he dove back into the water, he found Dunma cradling two more rocks of similar shape and size. 

“Uncle--er, Captain, I found two more,” she said. “Are you sure the merchant can’t ID the baby? I mean it  _ is _ his child.”

“Dunma, trust me when I say that Gorons have the paternal instinct of a mushroom,” Bazz droned. “We could probably leave this kid at the bottom of the lake until he starts walking and he’d be fine.”

Dunma frowned, “Yes, but Captain, surely he’s worried if he asked for help finding his Pebble.”

Bazz held back every bitch and groan he had in him and took one of the rocks from Dunma as they both breached the surface. As if karma were on his side for once, Bazz didn’t even have to prove his point because they breached the surface to find the merchant  _ licking _ each of the rocks, having taken a noticeable bite out of one of them. 

“S-Sir!?” Dunma’s jaw fell open. “Can I ask what you’re doing?”

“Oh,” the merchant smiled politely. “Babies taste bad.”

“I should hope so!” Dunma reared, and Bazz put a hand on her shoulder before she accidentally offended the guy.

“Ignore her,” Bazz sighed, “We found two more...anything taste pebbly to you yet?”

“Mmmm, nope, but I have to say that these lake rocks taste delicious!” the merchant grinned, “I should come here more often!” 

Bazz forced himself not to flinch as he watched the Goron lick the rock that Dunma handed him and visibly recoil. Hell, he nearly threw the damn thing back into the lake as he grimaced, “Eugh! Ohhh this one is  _ nasty! _ This is definitely my little brother. Thank you, Mr. Zora!” 

“Anytime, Sir,” Bazz waved the Goron off as he carried the Pebble and an additional snack with him. He tried not to watch the Goron have to do a test lick before chowing down on the snack rock when he heard Dunma nearly gag. 

“How do--” Dunma started to ask out loud, but then thought better of it. “I’m on duty. Nevermind.”

“Good call, Kiddo,” Bazz sighed tiredly. “Why don’t you take fifteen before reporting back to the palace.”

“I’m gonna need a bottle of wine tonight,” Dunma announced. 

“Then tell your dad he owes you for not coming with us on this,” Bazz retorted, pulling himself out of the water before offering Dunma a hand. She smiled a little at that, giving Bazz an amused little snort in response. Bazz couldn’t help but notice just how much like Rivan she was. 

She was a lucky girl, Bazz thought, to have a dad like Rivan. Bazz knew very few people who were as attentive and loving as his friend, especially when it came to their daughter. 

But thankfully, Rivan wasn’t the  _ only _ doting father that Bazz knew of and he found one of them sulking by his sister’s likeness later in that afternoon. Stupidly, Bazz almost forgot why Sidon was such a grumpy guppy that day, for he watched little Minami run across the courtyard trying to tag Link even though she could easily outrun most of her friends who were invested in the game. 

“Papaaaa!” Nami giggled, “Slow down!” 

“Gotta be quicker!” Link teased, dodging her little hand by a hair. Nami squealed when she missed, her giggles almost taking Bazz back in time by a few years. There was a time when he knew a young Zora with the same sweet giggles, and he knew another young Zora with the same radiant smile. Some days, it was easy to stick to the present. Other days, Bazz looked at that little girl and wondered what he could’ve done differently that would’ve ended in Nela and Mako still being alive. But then, there were days like this one when Bazz saw Link trip over himself and let Nami tackle him to the ground, and Bazz realized that Nami is exactly where Nela and Mako would want her to be: with her dads. 

When Bazz looked over to the other dad in question, he found Sidon leaned against the railing that kept tourists from climbing on top of Mipha’s statue. Sidon wore a long, almost haunted expression, though it wasn’t until Bazz noticed the way Sidon’s crossed arms all but covered his stomach that he remembered what day it was. 

Oh. 

“I fucking hate Ikkala,” Bazz muttered under his breath as he walked up to Sidon. Once he was in earshot, he snarked, “You wanna keep pouting, Mr. Guppy?”

Sidon must’ve been in a foul mood, because he didn’t even try to put on a fake smile when he looked up at Bazz. Carefully, Bazz looked over to where Mei and a few other moms were sitting at one of the benches Sidon normally hung out by when school let out. He noted the way Mei especially kept looking up, and he had a feeling she wanted to breach the same subject but didn’t know how. 

“Come on, Sidon, you and I both know what day it is--”

“There should be two of them,” Sidon finally snapped, his voice low as he stared out to where Link and the kids were playing. Bazz followed Sidon’s gaze and watched how Link lifted Nami into his arms and spun her around before hugging her tightly. The entire time, Nami’s tail wagged furiously as she nuzzled her face against her Papa. 

“You mean…” Bazz started, almost letting himself entertain the very thought. “Nikko?”

“Bazz, please don’t,” Sidon shook his head. 

“Hey, you’re the one who brought it up this time,” Bazz pointed out. “But...yeah, yeah it sucks that he and Nami can’t be together.”

Sidon remained quiet, but tilted his head to the side as if he was trying to hold all of his emotions in. Bazz looked back over to how...blissfully unaware Link seemed and asked, “Have you talked to Link about it?”

“What am I supposed to say?” Sidon asked. 

“Whatever you need to?” Bazz shrugged. “Sidon, I think of all people, Link will understand you more than you realize.”

Sidon narrowed his gaze a little bit and spat, “He has enough on his plate, I don’t need to burden him.”

“Uhhhh, he’s your boyfriend and you’re intent on marrying him,” Bazz noted. “I think Link needs to know about this.”

“Well, then you can tell him,” Sidon shrugged, his mood growing darker. Bazz winced. He hadn’t seen  _ this _ Sidon in nearly ten years. Hylia, back then the only person who could pull Sidon out of these funks was Vali. And Vali was very dead. 

“Sidon, I’m not gonna tell him,” Bazz shook his head. “It’s not my place.”

“Oh, like it’s not your place to tell me what went on between him and Revali?” Sidon snapped a little, shooting Bazz a pointed glare. “It was one hundred years ago, I’m fully capable of accepting that I’m not the only man to ever be in his life!”

“Well, you kind of got the point without even realizing it, dipshit,” Bazz snarled back. “A Hylian coming out of the closet back then was worse than a death wish, and even then I didn’t even know over half of what was happening. That shit was between Link and Revali. Just like this is all between you and Link. It’s not my relationship, it’s not my place to decide what gets brought to life and what doesn’t. It's yours and Link’s alone. It’s his choice to be open and share what he remembers from back then and it’s your choice not to open up and relive your past traumas with him. But you guys need to be the ones who talk it out and you guys alone. Not me talking on your behalf, not Nami, you two.”

The very mention of Nami forced Sidon back into reality as the wave of guilt flickered behind his eyes. “I--Bazz, I’m sorry, I would never ask you to get in the middle of my relationship.”

“I know,” Bazz crossed his arms. “I was just reminding you.”

Sidon sucked in a breath, then nodded, “Thank you, Bazz. I will...consider your advice.”

“Hey, don’t feel like you have to take it,” Bazz shrugged. “Only you know what’s best for you. I just know how Link will react and he’ll react with open arms. So don’t let your anxiety eat you up over that.”

“Mmmmm,” Sidon hummed nervously. His posture was pitiful and Bazz couldn’t help but feel like Sidon was still hyperfixating. 

“If you want,” Bazz offered, throwing his friend one more bone, “you can get some candles and I’ll get a bottle of wine.”

“I’m not really in the mood to drink tonight, Bazz.”

“Okay, so you get the candles and I’ll get a tub of ice cream for you to cry your feelings into,” Bazz offered, and Sidon definitely took a moment to contemplate it. 

“That does...sound tempting,” Sidon admitted. “I’ll think on it.”

“You think on it,” Bazz patted Sidon’s back, “And I’ll get the ice cream.”

* * *

Sidon watched Link longingly as he suited up for the evening. He sighed forlornly, wanting to hog his boyfriend. He hated sharing Link with Hyrule, though he’d never admit that outloud. 

“Must you go?” Sidon whined. 

“I wish I didn’t have to,” Link admitted with a frown, “But Gaddison said there was a camp of Moblins just north of Zelda’s company and they’re going to be traveling through the night. I need to rendezvous with them and make sure they arrive safely.”

“Oh, alright,” Sidon whined, reaching towards Link to make grabby hands until his boyfriend stepped into his arms. Sidon held his little Hylian close and rested his chin on Link’s shoulders. “But you’re taking a nap as  _ soon _ as you get back. Zelda doesn’t get to steal you from me until noon at the  _ earliest.” _

Link giggled so sweetly in Sidon’s ear and leaned into him, “Okay, okay. But only if we can have sex when I wake up.”

“Are you kidding me!?” Sidon spat, “I’d be pulling your pants down right now if you weren’t so pressed for time!” 

“Woah there, Tiger,” Link snickered, resting his hands on his belt as if he wanted to taunt Sidon with his marvelous physique.

“I’m a shark,” Sidon pouted. He didn’t quite understand the phrase, but he assumed it was a part of the vernacular that came from Hateno. What was even more confusing was the way Link broke out into a belly laugh in response to Sidon’s simple statement. Oh well, Sidon didn’t mind. He got a kiss out of the exchange. And he loved kissing Link. His lips were so soft. 

Link hummed, breaking away from the kiss reluctantly with twinkling blue eyes. He seemed to echo Sidon’s thoughts when he breathed, “I love kissing you.”

“As do I,” Sidon grinned, leaning against the hand that caressed his cheek. “I look forward to more of it when you get back.”

“Okaaaaay,” Link whined, stealing one more quicker kiss. He practically stole Sidon’s breath away that time, and Sidon stupidly felt himself chasing Link’s lips until he was walking out the door. “I’ll be back at day break.”

“That’s so long from now,” Sidon complained. 

“I bet you could steal some Nami time and it’ll go quicker,” Link winked at Sidon. The very thought got Sidon’s tail wagging, even if he was sad to see his boyfriend off. And Link was right: Nami time  _ was _ very much needed and a welcome distraction until the time came to put her to bed. 

And okay...Sidon might’ve let Nami stay up just a hair past her usual bedtime and he knew he was going to regret it in the morning but he was getting cuddles and he loved cuddles and she fell asleep on his chest again. She slept so peacefully as he put her in her sleeping pool, and it wasn’t until Sidon caught himself laying on his belly watching her head bob above the water to make sure she was staying afloat when his mind caught up with him. 

Right….Nami didn’t need Sidon to keep an eye on her while she slept. But there was someone who did and...Sidon didn’t even know where he was. 

The heavy storm clouds that hovered over Sidon’s mind came rolling back in like thunder, and had Link been home that evening, he might’ve finally broken down and told him. Instead, Sidon found himself resting his head against the kitchen counter as he stared at ten little glowing candles. As he sighed, the candles flickered against his breath in the otherwise darkened living quarters. 

At some point, he heard the door to the study open, shedding light on a pouting Sidon as Father stepped out looking ready for sleep. Sidon jumped a little, having half a mind to blow the candles out, but Father caught him before he could do anything. 

What was worse, was he caught Father’s eyes scanning the candles as if he were counting and guessing, “Has it been ten years already?”

“I--” Sidon stiffened. “Yes, Father…”

“And where is Link?” Father asked, “Surely you didn’t let him go on that errand for Zelda on a night like this?”

“He has a duty to Hyrule, Father,” Sidon admitted, looking back at the candles. He missed Link….he probably should’ve told Link. 

“You didn’t tell him, did you,” Father guessed, then to Sidon’s horror, he actually sat down across from Sidon. Dad’s eyes glowed like little stars in the firelight. Sidon could only shake his head. “Why not?”

“It’s not his burden,” Sidon leaned back against the counter, prepared to go in the same circles he had with Bazz. “He already has... _ so much _ to deal with and none of it was his choice. I can’t add to his plate.”

“I can...understand your sentiment, Son,” Dad said quietly, leaning forward ever so slightly. When Sidon looked up at him, his eyes sparkled like Mipha’s always did. Big, kind, and  _ warm. _ “Your mother felt the same way about me when we were first married. But...I can say from experience that of all the burdens and responsibilities Link has to Hyrule’s crown, being with you and helping you carry your burden is the one thing he  _ chose _ to add to his plate. It’s okay to let him.”

“I...I know,” Sidon felt his eyes stinging with tears all over again. Hadn’t he done enough crying? He was just ready for the day to be over with. 

“In your own time, Son,” Father added. “You boys haven’t been together for terribly long. It’s okay if you aren’t comfortable with springing this on him just yet. But I hope you one day can.”

Sidon couldn’t quite answer, but he didn’t fight his dad when he reached out to take Sidon’s hand. “Is it…” Dad’s voice was so small, as if he was still afraid that Sidon would so childishly push him away. “Is it okay if I stay with you, Son?”

Sidon could think over one hundred and one reasons as to why his father needed to get some  _ rest _ and not worry about  _ this _ of all things, but...there was a little goldfish out there somewhere who had taught Sidon long ago that it was okay for him to lean on his dad and just let his dad be a dad. Who taught him that it was okay to just be a  _ son. _ So he held his father’s hand and nodded his head, “Yes please…”

“I’ll stay as long as you need,” Dad patted Sidon’s hand. “Whenever you’re ready to blow out the candles, we’ll go to bed, okay?”

“Okay,” Sidon sighed, and he held his father’s hand in silence for almost another hour. Then he heard yet  _ another _ door open and close. 

Sidon...almost wanted to throw up in embarrassment when he saw his little girl come wandering out with an empty water cup in her hand as she rubbed her little eyes. He wanted to throw himself in the reservoir when she looked up at him in the candlelight and asked, “Whose birthday is it?”

“Uh!” Sidon jumped, looking to his father for help, but Dad simply shrugged as if it were up to Sidon to explain. “It...uhhhh….well, Nami….”

Sidon trailed off, at a complete loss for words as Nami stood on her tippy toes to slide the cup onto the counter before climbing onto his lap. As Nami adjusted herself, Sidon found himself clinging to her as she counted the candles. “Awww! I can’t wait till I’m ten!” 

Sidon couldn’t help but scoff at that, feeling his mood lift in the process, “Can’t you stay little a little while longer?”

Nami giggled, leaning into Sidon as he hugged her tighter. “No, Daddy! I gotta grow up! Because when I turn ten, then I can turn thirteen and be a teenager! And then--and then I can turn twenty and apply for colleges! And--and--Daddy, I could be a scientist before I’m Queen! I could be a Science Queen!” 

“A Science Queen?” Sidon grinned, starting to purr in tandem with her little rumbles. “That sounds marvelous, but I think you’re skipping  _ several _ years there, honey.”

“Well, I wanna skip to those years,” Nami grinned.

“But I want you to be little like this foreveeeeerrrr,” Sidon whined, rocking side to side a little. He hated to say it but...he really did. He really _ truly _ did. He didn’t want to let go of her. He didn’t want to have to admit that there would be a day when she wouldn’t need him anymore. 

Oh Hylia.

“Daddy?” Nami cut Sidon’s train of thought short when she looked up at him. Sidon pulled himself out of his thoughts and fought the urge to hold her even tighter when she wriggled out of his grasp to stand on his thighs. Bracing her little hands on his chest, she looked Sidon in the eye and said, “You know that even when I’m all big and strong, I’ll still be your Little Minnow, right?”

“I--” Sidon grunted, feeling tears budding in his eyes. Oh, he couldn’t take it anymore. Cupping her little cheek in his hand, Sidon wept, “I just want to be a good dad for you, Nami.”

Nami looked at Sidon with big eyes, her tail giving a little sway when she wiped his cheek with her hand and giggled, “Oh Dad! You’re already the  _ best _ daddy ever! Just like Papa is the best papa ever! And Grandpa is the best grandpa ever! Of course you’re good, you’re amazing!” 

Nami’s hands had gotten so animated, she almost smacked Sidon in the face. As he balanced her on his lap, however, he couldn’t help but pull her into a hug and cry. Nami wrapped her arms around his neck. 

After a pause, Nami - his sweet, incredibly intuitive little minnow - asked, “...Who’re you waiting for, Dad?”

“What?” Sidon opened his eyes, a little confused at first. 

“Is it Aunt Mipha?” Nami guessed, and that was when Sidon remembered the last time he found his little girl sitting out in the courtyard at night waiting on her parents. Sidon just wanted to cry all over again.

“N-no,” Sidon felt himself shaking, “It’s not Aunt Mipha.”

“Hmmmm,” Nami tapped her little claws on his shoulders, “Do I have a big sibling?”

“N-no?” Sidon pulled out of the hug real quick. Well? Sort of? He didn’t know? “It’s a long story, sweetheart.”

Nami frowned up at Sidon, then glanced back at the candles. “I’m sorry they’re not here to blow out the candles with us, Dad…”

“I am too, Nami--”

“But I’m not sorry that they’re missing the cake,” Nami stated bluntly. “It smells burnt.”

“I--” Sidon grunted. Ohhhhhh heavens, his little girl just had a way of lifting the mood at Sidon’s expense. “I suppose that is a plus side.”

“One day, they’ll come home and we’ll let Papa bake the cake,” Nami announced, and Dad suddenly erupted into thunderous laughter. 

“Minami, my dear!” Father boomed, “That is a wonderful idea!” 

“Thanks!” Nami grinned, “I have those sometimes.” 

“You have those a lot of times,” Sidon smiled, leaning his head against Nami’s again. Exhaustion washed over him like a wave as he sat there listening to his daughter chat excitedly with his father. He didn’t even have to look up at the clock to realize it was well past midnight when the conversation suddenly died down. With a sigh, Sidon eyed the melting wax of the candles and announced, “We should probably blow out these candles.”

“Are you ready?” Dad asked. Nami, however, launched to her feet again.

“Oh! Oh!” Nami raised her hand like she was in school. “We should sing happy birthday!” 

“Ahhhh, Nami, I don’t know if--” Sidon started, but Nami was determined and didn’t give his protests the time of day.

“Dad, Dad, Dad, what’s their name?” Nami insisted. “I can’t sing happy birthday unless I know their name!” 

“It--” Sidon felt a lump catch in his throat. Swallowing it, Sidon relented, “It’s Nikko….”

“Okay!” Nami grinned, “Grandpa, are you singing with us?”

“Why of course!” Dad leaned forward, then teased, “Ohhhh, Nami, you’ll have to remind me how the song goes again!”

Giggling, Nami started to sing, “Happy birthday, to you! Happy birthday, to you!” 

Dad chuckled, then gently nudged Sidon to chime in: “Happy birthday, dear Nikko, happy birthday to you!”

“You’ll have to make a wish for him, Nami,” Dad winked. 

“No, I think Dad should make the wish,” Nami looked up at Sidon. “Then we’ll all blow it out on three!” 

Sidon had given up on trying not to cry in front of his daughter and just rolled with her suggestions: “Oh alright. One...two...three!”

All three Zora blew the candles out simultaneously, leaving them in the darkness. It took several minutes before Nami could tug Sidon out of the chair and to her room. Dad bid them both goodnight, and before Sidon realized it, he was floating in Nami’s sleeping pool with the little girl sound asleep on his chest. Staring up at the ceiling, he couldn’t help but think out loud, “I wished you would come home...happy birthday, Nikko.”

* * *

Across all of Hyrule, in the heart of the desert, as Prince Sidon lit his own set of candles, a little Zora just older than Princess Minami skipped down the street to the pharmacy. Some adults would argue that they were much too young to be wandering alone at night, but Nikko would argue that they were officially ten years old and were plenty old enough to get a bag of ice for Mom. 

“Good evening, Salma!” Nikko chirped to the elder woman watching the counter for one of her  _ many  _ daughters. The woman looked up from her book and scrunched her nose in disapproval.

“Vehvi, what on  _ earth _ are you doing out by yourself at this time of night?” Lady Salma scolded. “Where is your mother?”

“Well, Mom had a headache so I just needed some ice, please!” Nikko announced, their little head barely reaching the counter. “Oh! And could I please have some candles? Master Amalee said that if I blow out as many candles as I am old on my birthday, I get to make a wish and have good luck for the whole year!”

At that, Salma’s gaze flickered and warmed back up into a smile. “Ohh? It’s your birthday? Goodness, Nikko, why didn’t you say so? How old are you today?”

“Ten years old, ma’am!” Nikko beamed proudly. 

“My word, Nikko, you’re growing up into a strong little Vai right before my eyes!” Salma winked. “Let’s see if I can’t find something extra special for you…”

Nikko gasped in  _ awe _ when Lady Salma stepped out from behind the counter to not only grab candles, but a pack of  _ cupcakes _ as well. 

“My nephew is grabbing that ice for you, Vehvi,” Salma announced. “And if it’s alright, I’d like him to escort you home. Just so I know you make it safely.”

“Thank you so much, Salma!” Nikko bowed. “How much do I owe you?”

“Consider it your birthday present,” Salma winked. Before Nikko could even _ protest _ such a kind gesture, the woman looked up and barked, “Faro! Where’s that ice, Vehvi!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” a tall,  _ beautiful _ Gerudo sighed. Nikko looked up at him in awe. His hair was dyed a shade of dark blue that made Nikko want hair and his face was so sparkly! How did his face get so sparkly? “There were several packs that got stuck together. I swear, Mimi should just let me help pay for a new freezer.”

“You know she wont,” Salma sighed, though Nikko was too gobsmacked by how beautiful the man standing in front of them was. “You need to use the money you have to pay for your transition and your dear mother’s doctor visits.”

“I know,” Faro sighed, adjusting the ice bag on his tan shoulder. He glanced down at Nikko before Nikko even realized he was staring at them. When he smiled, he revealed the most  _ handsome _ dimples on each of his cheeks. “Is this the little birthday Vai? Why, I haven’t seen too many Zora before.”

“Wooooow,” Nikko sighed, almost losing your balance, “Pardon me, sir, but you are  _ beautiful!” _

Faro blinked a couple of times as if it took him a second to register what Nikko was saying. When he did, he tipped his head back and let out the prettiest laugh Nikko ever did hear. “Oh, darling, you are just adorable, thank you. Well? Shall we take you home?”

“Yes please,” Nikko nodded, taking hold of Faro’s hand when he offered it. Nikko didn’t  _ need _ a grown up holding their hand these days. They were ten, after all, but Faro was just so handsome and Nikko couldn’t help but skip and daydream about having a boyfriend as pretty as him one day. When they reached the apartment complex, Nikko stopped short of letting Mr. Faro see just how...worn down their apartment was. They didn’t want him to worry. “This is my home. Thank you, Mr. Faro!”

“Oh, it’s my pleasure, honey,” Faro smiled, then looked up at the apartment buildings, “But are you sure you don’t want me to take you to your apartment? It’s no trouble.”

“It’s okay, but thank you,” Nikko smiled, feeling their little tail-stump starting to wiggle. Faro gave that same dimpled smile again and patted the top of their head. 

“Well, alright,” he grinned. “Happy birthday, Nikko. It was so nice meeting you."

“It was nice meeting you too!” Nikko cheered. “Will I see you again?”

“Oh, I’m sure you will, darling,” Faro smiled warmly, his golden eyes sparkling in the moonlight. He looked almost ethereal bathed in the midnight sky. Like he belonged in the twilight. Nikko was in  _ love.  _ “I’m here for a little while before I go through Warrior’s Training so I can transition. If you need anything else, you just come see me, my cousin Mimi, or my Auntie Sal, you hear?”

“Yessir!” Nikko chirped, “Thank you, Mr. Faro!” 

The beautiful Gerudo waved them off and kept an eye on Nikko until they made it all the way up the stairs and to the front door of the little apartment. It was a studio, so there wasn’t much space for Nikko to read that night, especially since they walked in to find Mom sound asleep on her cot. So Nikko tried to be as quiet as possible as they fixed Mom an ice cold glass of water, then sat it down by her bedside. Then, because Nikko was too excited to wait until morning, Nikko unwrapped one of the cupcakes Lady Sal had given them (but only one, they had already brushed their teeth, after all) and opened the package of candles. 

Nikko was a little bummed that they couldn’t fit all ten candles onto their little cupcake, but they managed to fit five and hoped the spirits of happy birthdays would forgive them for this year and still make their wish come true. Laying down on their belly, Nikko very carefully lit the candles and was so delighted by the soft glow in their corner of the apartment that they waited a little while before making their wish. In fact, they had enough candlelight to go through their backpack and find the book they always brought with them. They even found the box with their father’s picture! 

Nikko made sure not to wake Mom up as they pulled the series of pictures, propping one up against the wall. In the candlelight, they held their book up to the photograph as if they could have a conversation with their long lost father. 

“This one’s called  _ The Hobbit,” _ Nikko smiled, “I hope you read it...Mama said you always liked reading books. I’ve read it before but...well, it’s my favorite!” 

Nikko used the dim light to open up to the first page, reading quietly to themself without any idea that somewhere across the world, there was a proud Zora prince, a king, and a princess all wishing for them to come home. One day they would learn just how loved they were, but in that evening, Nikko had a very simple wish. In fact, it was the same wish they had every year until it came true. 

“I wish I wish with all my heart,” Nikko recited the way Amalee had taught them. Keeping their eyes closed, they giggled in excitement at the very thought: “that some day my father and I won’t be so far apart.”

Looking up at the candlelight, Nikko sucked in a deep breath and blew the candles out. They even nailed it in one! Proud of themself, Nikko plucked the candles out of the cupcake and savored each bite. The chocolate practically melted in Nikko’s mouth, it tasted so good it had them purring even after they washed their hands. As they tucked themself into bed that night, Nikko looked up at the ceiling and wondered what their father might’ve been doing in that moment. For some reason, as they thought about him, they felt a warm and bubbly feeling rising in their chest. Years later, Nikko might wonder if it was possible for instincts to reach as far as the desert from the Domain. But that night, on their tenth birthday, Nikko drifted off to sleep feeling warm and loved, and they could almost picture a jolly red Zora blowing out birthday candles with them. 

  
Maybe they dreamed it, but they could almost hear a soft voice whisper,  _ “Happy birthday, Nikko…” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....I have no idea how Gorons survive to adulthood, tbh.
> 
> Also not gonna lie, this is probably the most y'all are gonna see of Nikko in this fic. If you don't know who the hell this little nonbinary goldfish is, then you've got 45 chapters of "From the Goddesses Above" that you need to read. That's your homework assignment while I work on the next update. 
> 
> If you DID read FGA and picked up on the character drop, then yes, Faro IS the same Faro from the band that Rho obsesses over. Little Nikko just never pieced together that their neighbor was also the singer and that dawning realization is absolutely a moment that will come up in a later FGA chapter. 
> 
> If I made you sad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. These boys are going to take a vacation with their baby gorl in the next chapter and then the REAL bullshit is gonna start. I promise.


	5. The Great Horned God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The royal family needs a vacation, Link dreams of home improvement, and Revali can't throw a god damn punch to save his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I--
> 
> Listen, I am so fucking excited for Age of Calamity to come out but BITCHES I GOT UNTIL NOVEMBER TO FINISH THIS FUCKER THE TIMELINE HAS BEGUN BEFORE MY CANON JUST...D E F L A T E S SO SAY A PRAYER FOR MY SANITY! 
> 
> Also, I always tell myself that I'm going to leave this a light-hearted fic but then last chapter happened and also marital disagreements keep happening. Such as babies' first fight. It's fine, we're all fine, please enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> Also also....y'all, flashbacks with him keep ending up mid-chapter but I need you guys to fucking love General Grandon with me. He is just this rugged old man who basically looks like a more jacked version of Sidon in about 200+ years (and listen I know some of y'all love an old fat Sidon but hear me out....Health Nut Sidon who ends up in a Walking Club with a bunch of grandmas as an old man. Just the fittest old man in the sense that he stays involved in everything and needs to just put his feet up because his kids and grandkids keep stressing over him but he will not be stopped he just wants to have a good time). I fucking love Grandon and if you aren't on the Grandon train after this chapter, then you WILL BE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.

Link was exhausted when he returned home, but somehow Sidon looked even  _ more _ exhausted when he found the big lug laying on the couch. His eyes were closed, but Link could tell he was awake with the way he hugged the pillow to his face. 

“I’m home,” Link hummed, taking off his equipment at the door. He could put everything away later. He wanted to cuddle.

Sidon’s tail started flopping against the couch and his back. Opening his heavy golden eyes, Sidon gave a little hum and the beat of his wagging tail picked up in pace when Link sat down beside him. 

“What are you doing still up?” Link asked, smoothing his boyfriend’s scales. So many of them were ruffled as if he had been tossing and turning the whole night. 

“Mmmm,” Sidon hummed, leaning up against Link’s leg, “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Rough night?” Link asked. Sidon nodded his head. 

Before he could ask, Sidon immediately shifted and began to burrow his entire face into Link’s lap. Loud rumbles reverberated across Link’s thighs and Sidon both looked and felt as if some sort of switch had flipped inside of him. Whatever troubles had plagued him in the last few days were now behind him, and Sidon seemed like he was ready to just purr his problems away and forget them. 

Which...okay, Link wasn’t the biggest fan of that, but his happy-go-lucky prince was coming back around and by the time he had finally convinced Sidon to get up so they could both get some much needed rest, his beautiful shark prince was humming in thought. 

“What’s up?” Link asked, noting the dark, puffy circles under Sidon’s eyes. As they crawled into bed together, Sidon gave the last of his tearful sighs for a while and nuzzled Link’s chest like a cat spreading its scent. 

“I just…” Sidon paused, as if he was afraid to admit his next thought. “I think I need a vacation.”

* * *

By the time Nami got up that morning, her dads were still asleep. Which was really weird because Dad never really slept. 

He was always awake and chipper and singing with birdies like he was one of the princesses in the movies she would watch with Aunt Zelda. Nami scampered around their home, then the entire palace looking for someone - anyone - who was awake and willing to entertain her curiosity. So it was a good thing that Aunt Zelda was in town. Especially now that Nami was thinking of princesses. 

“Hey Aunt Zellie!” Nami greeted, finding her godmother sitting on the steps of the palace entrance. She held a cup of dark brown coffee in her hands, looking a little worn like she wasn’t fully awake yet. Aunt Zelda said that coffee was what coaxed her out of bed most mornings. She didn’t know why, coffee tasted  _ terrible. _ But if it worked for Aunt Zelda, then it must’ve worked really well. 

Maybe Nami should try coffee. 

Aunt Zelda looked up from her mug, giving Nami a warm smile as she held an arm out to receive a hug and help the little girl onto her lap. As Nami settled in, Zelda asked, “How are you, Sweetie?” 

“Good!” Nami chirped, but knew her aunt well enough to know that sometimes it was important to just get down to business: “I found out I’m famous!” 

“Oh,” Zelda grunted, her brow furrowing slightly. “Well, of course you are! You’re the Zora Princess!”

Nami frowned a little at that, staring up at Aunt Zelda. With a huff, she explained, “Well, yeah, but that doesn’t make me  _ famous, _ Aunt Zellie. Everybody knows that.”

Aunt Zelda’s mouth fell slightly agape for some reason, as if she hadn’t realized that and Nami felt a little bad for being so blunt. But Aunt Zelda was the smartest of them all, so after a moment she grunted and nodded, “Oh--but of course! How silly of me...so...why are you famous?”

“Well,” Nami her giggles already bubbling to the surface as she hunkered a little into Aunt Zelda’s lap and explained, “I’m in a TV show!”

Zelda’s smile faltered a bit again, “A...TV show?”

“Yeah!” Nami was too excited to sit still, she had to throw her hands in the air when her tail started wagging, “It’s called--it’s called  _ Sofia the First, _ I think? But I was hearing my teachers talk about it and it sounds like it’s all about me! But it’s only in Hyrule because we don’t have TV here yet...and unless Papa let’s us get a TV for the house in Hateno, I don’t know when I’ll be able to watch it…”

“Oh dear,” Aunt Zelda touched her hand to her forehead for a moment. With a pointed sigh, she looked down at Nami and said, “Listen, sweetheart, about that show...you know that it’s--it’s  _ wrong _ for writers to steal your likeness for the sake of television, right? I mean--I’ve met with the writers and producers on your fathers’ behalf and they had the best of intentions in portraying your story, and etiquette around all of this technology is still so  _ new _ that they didn’t--they still should’ve asked for your permission.”

“But I would’ve given them permission anyway,” Nami pointed out, “So what’s the issue?”

“The issue is that they didn’t ask for permission,” Zelda repeated. “Even if it would’ve been a yes, they still took that opportunity away from you. Besides, I’m not sure Prince Sidon would’ve gone along with it anyway.”

“Why not?”

“Well, it’s his likeness too,” Zelda cringed a little bit, “And...I’m not sure he would’ve been very pleased with how they chose to portray him.”

“He looked like a handsome merman,” Nami noted, recalling the small little clip she did see at school. “But with legs. So a Hylian. But a Hylian that’s a merman!

“I--well, yes,” Zelda nodded in agreement. “But I’m not sure that’s why he would have the issue.”

“Why not?” Nami asked. Zelda hummed and grimaced as if she didn’t want to explain it, but honestly, that was exactly what Nami was hoping for. Feeling a sinister, almost devilish grin trace her lips, Nami patted Zelda gently on the shoulder and said, “If you don’t want to tell me...I could always watch it myself!” 

“Honey, there aren’t any televisions in the Domain--”

“But you have a Sheikah Slate!” Nami pointed to the tool on her aunt’s hip. “TV’s are made from Sheikah Slates!”

“Yes, but it’s not that simple, Nami!” Zelda protested. Nami stared expectantly up at Zelda, waiting for the gears to turn. Then the gears started turning and Nami felt her tail wagging when her aunt gave the telltale, “Unless….”

“Uh-huuuuuh?” Nami felt her grin widen as she stood up on Aunt Zelda’s legs. 

“Well, I suppose we could--” Zelda thought out loud, but then cut herself off, “No, that sounds ridiculous.”

“What does, Aunt Zellie?” Nami asked.

“Well,” Zelda hummed again, “I was thinking that...perhaps there was a way to set up my Sheikah Slate to sort of... _ stream data _ from Central Hyrule’s tower. I mean, it is quite the distance, but if it was just my tablet that we were using, then there shouldn’t be any interference. Plus, we could transmit the data to Lanayru Tower and--oh Hylia, Nami, I think we’re about to invent a new way to bring information to the world.”

“Yaaaaay!” Nami cheered, throwing her hands up in the air. She wasn’t entirely sure what Aunt Zelda was talking about when she started rambling about data, streaming, and transmissions to herself. But Zelda’s mumblings usually meant something science related, and anything science related either meant exploring, explosions, or both. 

Plus, it meant that Nami would finally get to watch this darn TV show that the adults were all bellyaching about! 

Nami followed Aunt Zelda to the lab - at least, the north wing of the palace adjacent to the royal library that Zelda had converted into a lab - and put on the safety goggles and gloves that her aunt always made her wear. The goggles fit funny on her head and the gloves were way too big, but supposedly they were meant to protect her from danger. So Nami wore them and stood on her tippy toes trying to peer at the lab table before her. She watched in awe as Aunt Zelda completely disassembled her personal Sheikah Slate, rigged it up to several other cords and cables that apparently connected to some kind of receiver, and Zelda was in the middle of explaining how the receiving box in her hands took information from Lanayru Tower by the time Dad finally woke up. 

“Good heavens!” Dad gasped when he passed the lab. “Zelda, what on earth are you two up to?”

“We’re inventing streaming!” Nami cheered, her goggles slipping to the side a bit when she spun around. Zelda hissed in frustration when she touched some kind of wire against the metal cable in her tablet’s mainframe, causing it to spark. 

“Aaah!” Zelda scoffed. “At least we’re trying to! Nami asked about getting television services through my tablet and...well, it sparked an idea. Literally!”

“Oh goodness,” Dad shook his head in amusement as he stepped in the lab. 

Nami pointed a sharp finger at her father when he crossed the painted line that Zelda put on the floor not three months prior. He was violating lab safety protocols and Nami was not going to have it. “NO, DAD! No one steps over the line unless they have proper protective equipment!”

“Oh alright,” Dad frowned, pulling a pair of work gloves onto his hands. They were  _ just _ too small. 

“Goggles too, Mister!” Nami scolded. Dad made a  _ face _ about it, but still managed to stretch the elastic band of the goggles to their limit in order to fit on his fat head. 

“Oh, alright!” Dad huffed, looking really silly with goggles over his eyes. “So why are you taking apart the Sheikah Slate?”

“We’re gonna watch TV!” Nami cheered. 

“We’re actually looking to see if the data transmitted from Central Hyrule could actually reach our receiver here in the Domain,” Aunt Zelda clarified. “As Hyrule has been more or less the prototype for most of our technological advances, having some way to bounce information from tower to tower without having to rebuild everything from scratch in each region  _ could _ be the next step in Sheikah tech.”

“I’m...not sure I’m following,” Dad admitted. “I understand wanting to save time and money to establish the same data banks in our tower here in the Lanayru province but…how would this receiver get information all the way from Central Hyrule?”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out!” Zelda grinned, her eyes glittering. “Sidon, if we can find a way to set up receivers like this one that will boost signals between towers, then it wouldn’t just be the Lanayru province that would be able to send and transmit information at lightning speeds. It could be the whole of Zorana!”

“That...would be powerful,” Dad admitted, crossing his arms. “Having a way to share information with the outer settlements in real-time would be incredible.”

“This could be the step you need in order to gain independence!” Zelda added in her excitement. Nami paused, not sure what Zelda meant, but cheered when she saw her aunt’s excitement. Dad, however, stiffened suddenly.

“Independence?” Dad reared, “Now--Zelda, hold on a second we are not in a position to do that!”

“But you could be!” Zelda protested. “With this technology and the right resources, you could easily declare--”

“Zelda, that is not a conversation we are having this trip,” Dad shook his head, paused, then gave Zelda a suspicious glance, “...is it?”

“Well…” Aunt Zelda’s gaze got all shifty as she looked around, then patted Nami’s head. “Your daughter seems to like it!”

“My daughter doesn’t seem to know what we are talking about.”

“I don’t!” Nami grinned brightly. “But I know this’ll get me to watch TV!” 

“Oh dear,” Dad rolled his eyes, “Minami, for the last time, we are not getting a TV!”

“But we could in Hateno!” Nami whined. “Papa said that the cable set-up at his house is already readyyyy!” 

“I know, but that does not mean we need one!” Dad protested. “For heaven’s sake, honey, as the royal family we need to be mindful of what we indulge in. It’s not fair of us to splurge on a television when the Domain doesn’t even have the technology.”

“But Aunt Zelda is  _ working _ on the technology!” Nami protested. “And I’m not asking for a TV  _ here, _ I’m asking for a TV in Hateno! There’s a difference!”

“I--” Dad lurched forward, paused as he processed what Nami was saying, then looked to Zelda who had a pointedly amused grin on her face. “She’s right, isn’t she.”

“I’ve never seen a more intuitive or correct little girl in my life, Prince Sidon,” Aunt Zelda stated, crossing her arms with a smug look on her face. Dad slouched forward a little bit, giving a long and defeated sigh. 

“Ohhhhh!” Dad shook his head, then stepped across the Lab Line so he could remove his little gloves and littler goggles. As he did so, he threw both onto the lab bench but then held out his arms for Nami to run into, “Alright! You got me!” 

“YAAAAAY!” Nami cheered, taking the queue to leap into his arms. He caught her expertly, lifting her up so they could nuzzle each other’s foreheads. 

“The next time we are in Hateno, I’ll let you ask Papa about getting a TV,” Dad grinned. Nami’s tail kept wagging until a second thought hit her. 

“Wait,” Nami felt her grin fall. When  _ was _ the next time they would be in Hateno? “Oh, but Daaaaad! That’s gonna be so long from now!”

“No it won’t,” Dad smiled chipperly, any and all sadness from yesterday having left his sparkly golden eyes. His eyes were like little suns, because he was always so happy, and it scared Nami to see little storm clouds covering them the day before. But now Dad seemed to be rested and happy again, so she sighed a little bit in relief. “We’re gonna go on a vacation.”

“A vacation!?” Nami cheered. “When!?”

Dad’s smile only grew more, “Let’s ask Grandpa about it at lunch and find out!” 

* * *

_ When Revali first came out to Link, he was so certain that they would finally start seeing eye to eye. But Link was dead wrong. If anything, their arguments only seemed to get worse. It also did not help that Link  _ still _ couldn’t pull the Master Sword.  _

_ “Revali, for fuck’s sake just drop it!” Link signed fervently with a scowl. Revali merely scoffed and fluttered angrily behind him. _

_ “All I am saying is that  _ maybe _ you're not the Hero after all!” Revali snapped back, “Because  _ maybe _ the Goddesses wouldn’t want a spineless--” _

_ “Revali!” “Link snapped out loud, but Revali wouldn’t let it drop. _

_ “Short,” Revali continued, “Stringbean of a twink as their Hero!” _

_ Link stopped short on the stairs, feeling his heart stop in his chest when he looked up at Revali. Revali’s voice could carry, and Link suddenly felt nauseous when he glanced back over to where his own father stood, chatting absently with Mipha’s father and grandfather. When he looked back to Revali, he found the Angry Bird’s green eyes also widened and looking in Father’s direction. When he looked back at Link, his agape beak just spelling remorse, Link was ready to accept his apology and also secretly hoped that Revali would let him crash in Rito Village in the inevitable event that he was disowned.  _

_ But then that fucker cleared his throat and snarked, “I’m sure he didn’t hear that. And if he did I’d probably have to spell out what ‘twink’ means.” _

_ The primal rage that erupted out of Link in that moment was something that must’ve been very instinctual, because Link didn’t fully remember slugging Revali across the beak. But he knew it felt good. Even as they tumbled down the stairs to the horror of several Zora that had to dart out of their way, Link took great delight in just beating the everloving shit out of Revali, even if he wasn’t fairing well at dodging his feathery blows.  _

_ “GET OFF!” Revali roared, punching Link square in the nose. Was it hard enough to cause a volcanic bleed? Yes. Was it actually hard enough to break his nose? Sure as shit wasn’t, since Revali was a little pussy!  _

_ “THEN APOLOGIZE!” Link bit back, drumming his fist into Revali’s skull. Or at least trying to. Even with the bird pinned, Revali’s damn bird brain was very good at darting to the side at the last second. The one or two blows Link did leave were at least enough to give him a black eye and make his point, at least.  _

_ Somewhere above their fist fight and wrestling match, Mipha and the royal guard seemed to catch wind of the commotion. A flash of red danced past Link’s vision (and not because of the blood pouring out of his nostrils), as Mipha yelled, “Oh heavens! Boys! Stop this!”  _

_ “HE STARTED IT!” Revali yelled, flipping out from under Link to pull him into a grapple hold. The weak bastard didn’t link his arms correctly so Link easily elbowed him in the face and pinned him back to the ground. _

_ “I DIDN’T START IT! HE STARTED IT!” Link roared, pushed Revali to the ground but didn’t catch the second set of stairs in time. Soooo, they went tumbling again and this time, Link was fairly certain he landed on his head on most of the steps. The fight seemed to bleed out of him once they finally stopped falling. Revali flopped to the side with a groan and several curses. Link moaned in his own personal agony, and when he lifted his head, he saw a small pair of little red feet and a smaller pair of little bird feet.  _

_ “Hi, Link!” Prince Sidon greeted. Link held back every curse word he could possibly muster when he looked up at a very large set of cheerful eyes and a larger smile as the little boy stared down at him. Taking the end of his oversized tail into his hands, the boy asked, “What’re you and Revali doing?” _

_ “Killing each other, apparently,” Revali groaned, rubbing his face with his hand. Beside Sidon, the smallest, fluffiest little baby bird that Link had ever seen gave a startled chirp and darted behind the little Zora boy. How were they both so small? Why did they have to be both so small and make Link’s heart squeeze every time? Revali caught the motion out of the corner of his eye, then looked up in alarm to say, “Oh! Reba, no I meant that as a joke! A really bad joke!” _

_ “Why would you hurt each other?” Reba whimpered from behind Sidon’s shoulder. Sidon’s toothy smile fell a little in concern, then in some kind of silent offering, he held out part of his tail to her and Reba took it in her little hands. Sidon’s smile returned as he placed his hands on his hips while Reba just stared down at the tail in confusion.  _

_ “We were just--” Revali rolled over onto his hands and knees. He blinked several times and shook his head before groaning, “We were arguing, Reba. I’m sorry. Don’t ever fight with your friends like that.” _

_ “Oh, so we’re  _ friends  _ now?” Link snarled.  _

_ “Don’t push it,” Revali snapped back. Reba suddenly hugged the end of Sidon’s tail to her chest and leaned into him nervously, but then Sidon reached out a hand to pat her fuzzy little head.  _

_ “It’s okay, Reba,” Sidon assured. “You can hold onto my tail if you need to. But Dad says that grown-ups just fight worse than children sometimes and need a good talking-to to get their act together! They’ll be okay!” _

_ “So...do we have to do the talking-to?” Reba asked with big blue eyes.  _

_ “No, silly! That’s my sister’s job!” Sidon grinned merrily, and Link remembered that Mipha was about to reprimand them before they fell down the stairs. Looking up, Link immediately regretted it. Sure enough, standing right behind him, Mipha wore a seething expressions as she crossed her arms. Sidon let out an excited giggle at the sight of his sister, then his tail started wagging and startled Reba a little when it flew out of her hands. Hopping a little, he waved, “Oh! There’s my sister! See? Hi, Sissy!”  _

_ “Hi, Sidon,” Mipha sighed heavily, managing a smile just for her brother. “Would you be a dear and take Reba out to the pond with you and Vali? You boys could show her your favorite hideout.” _

_ “Oh! That’s a great idea!” Sidon grinned, taking hold of Reba’s little hand, “Come on, Reba! There’s this pond with really pretty flowers just outside of the Domain. Vali and I can show you!’ _

_ “Now, wait, hang on!” Revali barked, teetering to the side a little when he tried to stand. “She’s a lot smaller than them and she doesn’t swim!” _

_ “It’s not a deep pond, sir!” Sidon was already leading Reba away. “It only goes up to our ankles! Plus Vali and I are going to be knights one day, so we’ll protect your sister!”  _

_ Reba gave a series of curious chirps before fluttering her wings in excitement to follow Sidon as he scampered away. Revali sat there fuming until the exact moment the kids were out of earshot before he looked up at Mipha and snapped, “Why on earth are you letting your twirp of a brother babysit my Reba?” _

_ “Because my brother is apparently more responsible than you,” Mipha scowled. Then, without warning, she grabbed both of them by the collar and yanked them onto their feet in one go. “NOW! You two have some explaining to do!”  _

_ “Ow!” Link whined. Revali howled louder in pain. “Mind healing us first!?” _

_ Mipha gave Link a stone faced expression that was almost as intimidating as Queen Nerissa. Saying nothing to answer his question, she drug both of them up the stairs by hair and feather until their happy asses were sitting in an infirmary attached to the royal palace.  _

_ “I blame you for this,” Revali snarled. Link grumbled incoherently to himself as his father and Mipha’s grandfather marched sternly into their room.  _

_ “Link! What the hell is this?” Father snapped. “Of all times to pick a fight with the Rito Champion, and you choose  _ now? _ Explain yourself!”  _

_ Link was tired and already annoyed, but hearing his father’s barking tones only ignited Link’s fury even further. He sucked in a breath to snap at his old man, but the minute he met his dad’s cold and piercing gaze, his throat tightened up and all fight left him.  _

_ Fuck. _

_ Instead of trying to fight his vocal chords, Link clamped his mouth shut and glared up at his father as a new fighting drive settled in. He knew damn well that Link was selectively mute. He knew damn well.  _

_ Father’s scowl only deepened as he yelled again, “Link! I gave you an order to  _ explain _ yourself! NOW!”  _

_ Link felt the sweat on his back start to cool and his nerves start to get the better of him. Stealing a glance over at Revali who was eyeing him like a hawk, Link mustered up the courage to try and explain with his hands. He only hoped that someone would translate.  _

_ Thankfully, Revali’s gaze softened and explained, “Link’s saying that we were--” _

_ “WITH YOUR WORDS, DAMMIT!” Father roared, and suddenly Link’s cheek burned and his hands were restrained. “If you  _ really _ are supposed to be the Hero like everyone thinks, then you will get your act together and learn to SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER!” _

_ Link tried to pull his hands away, but Father’s grip was too tight. Could Link have muscled his way out of his father’s grasp? Yeah, but that would’ve led to another fight and he was tired of making a mess of the Domain. So Link was stuck sitting there on the exam table feeling so trapped he could hardly breathe. He couldn’t meet his father’s gaze, but every time he so much as inhaled, his voice caught and reminded him that he was as much of a coward as his parents thought he was.  _

_ He had no chance of pulling the Master Sword.  _

_ “You can’t even look me in the eye?” Father asked. “You can’t even answer to the embarrassment you cause me every single day? You wanted to be a knight, Link. You wanted to seek out the Master Sword and yet you’re so much of an idiot and a coward that you can’t even look me in the eye!” _

_ “Oh yeah, sure! That’ll help him!” Revali spat suddenly. Both Link and his father froze to eye the Rito with a wide gaze. “Verbally abuse your son right in front of his friends and two royal families! That’s  _ really _ going to help Link save all our asses! Brilliant idea, I should try that with my sister!” _

_ Link shot Revali a glare, shaking his head at the bite in the Rito’s tongue. Oh fuck, this was about to get bad. Hissing, Link whispered, “Revali, stop--” _

_ “What business do you even have commenting on how I speak to my son?” Father snapped. “You may be esteemed among your people, but you should know your place.” _

_ “I know my place perfectly fine,” Revali crossed his arms. “But I don’t particularly like listening to this drivel happening right in front of me!”  _

_ “Revali!” Link hissed again, and he winced under Father’s white hot glare. He half expected another tongue lashing, but the door swung open again and everyone froze in place when General Grandon stepped through with a stern expression pointed at nowhere in particular.  _

_ “Geoff,” the old general grunted. “What’s going on? I thought these boys had enough reprimand from my granddaughter and yet I can hear you from the palace entrance.” _

_ “With all due respect, General,” Father rose up stiffly and Link wondered if he could just uhhhhh, sneak away before his old man pissed off the General. Again. “But these  _ men _ made a complete fool of both the Rito and Hyrule alike!” _

_ “Geoff, I’m well over two centuries old and am on track to see a third,” Grandon stated with a bored frown, “Everyone’s a kid in my eyes these days. I just give you the benefit of the doubt since you managed to procreate.” _

_ Link watched his father nervously, hoping and praying nothing smart aleck came out of him. But then Revali beat the old man to the punch and whispered, “His eyes? He doesn’t even have eyes...at least ones that actually work.” _

_ “And my son-in-law is shorter than a meter stick, tell me something I don’t know, Boy,” Grandon countered gruffly. Link wanted to whither away and die. “In any case, Geoff. Just leave the kids be. Their own embarrassment is punishment enough and if it’s not, I’m sure Rissa will have words with them.” _

_ “I would appreciate you not lecture me on what is appropriate punishment for my own son,” Father snapped finally. “I would also appreciate it if you’d address me by my proper title.” _

_ General Grandon’s snout scrunched a little bit as he tipped his head to the side, “Why’s that? Because Rhoam appointed you as his general?” _

_ “Yes!”  _

_ “Mmmm,” Grandon hummed, as if that were up for debate. “Maybe learn to act like a proper general and I’ll honor your ranking, Son.” _

_ “Act like a--” Father scoffed a bit, shooting Link a glare as his cheeks turned a bright red. “I’ve lead more successful military charges in my nation’s history!” _

_ “And you treat your son like crap,” Grandon drove his point home and the knife was so sharp it passed through Father and struck Link in the head. “So maybe respect him, his ability, and his intellect first before you start touting the small handful of ‘victories’ you brought home.” _

_ “I--” Father was at a loss for words and that was--that was fucking weird. “He’s mute!”  _

_ “And I’m blind, so what’s your point?” Grandon flashed a pointed, toothy grin at that, paused, then thought out loud, “Actually...that would be a good training practice...having your boy try and figure out how to guide me through an obstacle course….say Link, you wanna try that?” _

_ “Ah--” Link grunted in confusion, but Grandon had already dismissed the matter and turned his attention back to the old man. _

_ “My point stands, Geoff,” Grandon explained. “I have no say in how you behave in your territory. But here - in Zorana - these are my borders. And I have the  _ highest _ of expectations in how my men speak, both on and off duty. Is that clear?”  _

_ “You have no right to order me around--” _

_ “Is that  _ clear, _ Geoff?” Grandon warned again. Father stiffened a little bit, but relented. Nodding his head, he stepped around Grandon to take his leave.  _

_ Pausing at the door, Father snapped his attention back to Link and warned, “I’m not finished with you yet, Young Man. I will see you at home.” _

_ Slamming the door behind him, Link felt every chance of any word coming out of him leave. All with the exception of the one bold statement he couldn’t help but blurt out: “I am never having kids.” _

_ Revali scoffed and rolled his eyes at that, but Grandon lifted his head with an amused chuckle. “Oh, I wouldn’t write that off completely. After Rissa’s mother and I divorced, she swore the same thing until Dory wore her down. Well...I should stress that she’d wanted kids she just uh...lost faith in her ability for a few years.” _

_ “I’m sorry,” Revali shook his head a little. “Dory?” _

_ Grandon’s amused smile fell a little bit. “I--do not call him that.” _

_ “Ohoho!” Revali balked, a few untimely squawks leaving him as well. “I’m sorry but you, Old Man, call the King  _ Dory!?”

_ “He’s my son-in-law!” Grandon whined a bit, not at all sounding like the dignified old General that regularly made Link want to piss himself. Grumbling to himself to dismiss the matter, Grandon pulled up a chair, spun it around so the back was facing Link and Revali, then sat down on the chair so he could lean his forearm against the back. “Anyway...so Mipha tells me you two bruised each other up pretty good.” _

_ “Pretty good!?” Revali squawked, “This imbecile threw me down two sets of stairs!”  _

_ That brought the fire back underneath Link’s ass as he snapped, “You called me a fucking twink in front of my old man!”  _

_ “Well, you are!”  _

_ “A twink?” Grandon reared a little bit, his snout scrunching in confusion. “Like one of those sponge cakes you Hylians make? Those are rather tasty.” _

_ “N-no, General,” Link shook his head, feeling his ears flatten. “That’s a twinkie.” _

_ “Ohhhh,” the General gave a smile, “Well, I do rather like those. Can’t have too much though...something about pure sugars that tend to make us Shark Zora sick. Be warned about that if you ever babysit my grandson, Boys. He and Mipha both have a sweet tooth, but if that kid eats too much he’s going to bounce off the walls until he winds up sicker than a dog for three days!”  _

_ “That’s...peachy,” Revali groaned. “So why do you want with us? To yell at us?” _

_ “No,” Grandon shook his head, looking bored again. “I just came to talk because….well, to put it bluntly, Mipha said that you boys, for all the scuffling barely got away with just scrapes and bruises!”  _

_ “Yeah,” Link sighed out loud, then managed to add, “With as hard as he punched me in the nose, I was certain I had a concussion.” _

_ “Yeah, I did too!” Grandon scowled. “That was pathetic!” _

_ “I--” Link grunted, then looked up at the General with as much surprise as Revali when they both squawked, “What?” _

_ “You’re supposed to be the saviors of Hyrule and neither of you can seem to throw a proper punch! I’m ashamed of you both!” Grandon lectured. “Why--Link, you at least did a good number on Revali with the punches that you actually landed, but you can’t counter dodges to save your life and you couldn’t even dodge to save your life!” _

_ “Pfft, pansy ass--” Revali snorted, but was cut off when Grandon spun to face him.  _

_ “And YOU!” Grandon growled. “I thought you were supposed to be the best archer amongst the Rito!” _

_ “I--I am!” Revali jumped to defense. “Archery has nothing to do with close combat!” _

_ “Well, I didn’t expect that archery was all that you knew!” Grandon pointed out. “Listen, whatever is going on between you two that would lead to such a sad display of sportsmanship is none of my business. But what is my business is that two of the most trusted warriors in all of Hyrule can’t even put up a good fight with each other! And I’m fixin’ to change that.” _

_ “I--I’m sorry,” Revali shook his head a little through his scoffs and his chirps, “Are you suggesting that you want to  _ train us?”

_ “Precisely,” Grandon nodded, then rose to his feet as if he was done with his business. “You both start first thing in the morning at the stadium. I’ll see you both at sunrise.” _

_ “Well, I would never!” Revali flapped his wings in defiance.  _

_ “Revali--” Link felt himself paling. _

_“You expect_ me _\- the most distinguished warrior among the Rito -_ _to train under a_ Zora?!”

_ “Revali!” Link said again.  _

_ “Why...yes!” Grandon grinned, his scarred and chipped tail giving an excited wag. “I normally let my daughter handle the more advanced classes these days, so I’m looking forward to seeing what you two can bring to the table.” _

_ “But--!” Revali wasn’t catching the hint.  _

_ “Revali!” Link warned one more time, but he got a mouthful of feathers in response.  _

_ “I don’t need to spar under you!” Revali cried out. “If you’re going to force me to train, at least send me to your daughter!” _

_ “Revali, you don’t want to train under the Queen!” Link warned, his voice muffled by Revali’s feathers.  _

_ “Link’s right,” Grandon warned, “Rissa learned from me and is stricter than I ever was. If you want to train under her, I suggest you pass the combat test I give to the new recruits each season.” _

_ “I’d rather take a combat test than train under a blind old man!” Revali challenged. Link wanted to die. “You’d be a waste of my time!” _

_ “Well, if that’s how you feel,” Grandon smiled a rather devilish smile, “Then I look forward to our match tomorrow.” _

* * *

Link couldn’t stop staring at his living room and whining. 

Wow….he uh...he sure did have it set up  _ exactly _ the way Mom decorated back in the day. 

Sidon gave a little whine, “Well, I rather like what you’ve done--”

“I hate it!” Link snapped. “It needs to change!” 

“By how much?”

“Completely!”

“But I dunno how,” Nami added, dancing around the living room a little bit, “The house is so little that there’s not much other places to put things.”

As Nami said it, the lightbulb suddenly went off in Link’s head. With a delighted gasp, he grabbed his daughter by the shoulders and cheered, “Nami, that’s it!”

“What’s it?” Nami asked, her tail swaying curiously.

“We need more room!” Link cheered. “I could call Bolson and see what we needed to do to bump out the west side of the house! We could add another one...maybe three rooms!”

“Well,” Sidon crossed his arms, and Link felt guilty only because he could see his boyfriend’s hope for a relaxing vacation leave him. “O-okay, but how soon would this happen? Wouldn’t you need to make more trips to check on the progress?”

“I could talk to him tonight!” Link proposed. 

Sidon finally drew the line: “Absolutely not.”

Link’s hopes and dreams shattered into pieces. “Why noooooot!?”

“Link, we have a date tonight!” Sidon pointed out, his frown deepening as he spoke. “Please! I made dinner reservations and everything.”

“We could still go on our date,” Link thought outloud, “Surely we could squeeze in room for one more to talk to Bolson--”

“Nami,” Sidon snapped suddenly. Both Link and Nami jumped to attention apprehensively. They both watched as Sidon took in a deep, cleansing breath, and put a smile back on his face just long enough to bend forward and offer, “Sweetie, have you had a chance to watch the new TV yet?”

“Uh...no?” Nami rocked on her heels, then asked, “Are you and Papa about to have your first fight?”

“No, honey, I just can tell that this conversation is going to be very boring for you!” Sidon smiled warmly. “I know you’ve been looking forward to trying it out, why don’t you go upstairs?”

“Mmmmm,” Nami hummed in thought, then grinned, “Okay! Just be nice to Papa when you do fight, I think he remembered something about the house that he doesn’t like.”

“I--” Sidon froze a little in disbelief, “I will keep that in mind, Minnow.”

Nami trotted up the stairs, fumbling around in the little loft to find the remote. As they listened to her get settled in under the blanket, Sidon’s smile dropped again and he pointed firmly to the door. Link rolled his eyes and marched outside, really want to just make his point clearer by snarking, “If we had a bigger house, we could have these discussions  _ indoors, _ you know.”

“I don’t want to hear it, Link!” Sidon snapped the moment the door was shut behind him. “I understand that you are dealing with a lot right now, but I have hardly gotten more than five minutes with you when it’s just  _ us!  _ At least five minutes that don’t involve unpacking a memory that comes to you. So why can’t this date just be...I don’t know? Us?”

“Okay, yeah, but Sidon we never go on a vacation! This is our first vacation since before we started dating!” Link defended. “I need to do  _ something _ with the place. Especially now that Nami’s with us.”

“We will have time to do something with the place, Link,” Sidon assured. “But--please, I just want a quiet night with my boyfriend.”

“And you’ll get that,” Link assured. Sidon relaxed a little, taking hold of Link’s hand. It was wholly unfortunate that Link’s eyes happened to fall on a crooked sign in the stable that still had his father’s handwriting etched into it. “On...second thought, that stable needs to be redone too. Maybe that’s where we can put the extension?’

“LINK!” Sidon spat, tearing his hand away. Link jumped a little when he found his boyfriend pacing around in frustration.

“Whaaaat?” Link whined. “I--Sidon, I’m trying, but now I’m on some kind of acid trip remembering my father and--and Revali always said that a good way to slough off the past is just changing up the present ! So--I’m trying to make the house better for our present!”

“By following the advice of your dead ex?!” Sidon snapped back. Link flinched a little at that, then hung his head a little when he saw Sidon rubbing at his eyes. “I’m--I’m sorry if that was harsh, but Link I am trying  _ so hard _ to keep up with you on all this, but I don’t always know where your memory is going to take you and we don’t know how involved your relationship with Revali was and I feel like I’m watching you fall in love with him again and--and that’s all  _ fine _ with me, we’ve already talked about that. But I just need some reminders that you’re still with me, you know? That you still love me too?”

“Sidon, of course I love you,” Link started, reaching out to his boyfriend, but Sidon stepped away.

“Then  _ please,” _ Sidon begged. “Take Revali’s advice and just go on this date with me so we can  _ both _ enjoy the present. I’m tired of the past taking turns clogging our better judgements.”

“I--” Link’s chest suddenly felt hollow at the request. It wasn’t unreasonable. If anything, Sidon was in the right and Link just needed to be better about separating all this shit. It was just… “Are we fighting right now?”

Sidon’s eyes widened a little bit and his expression crumpled entirely. Shaking his head, Sidon snapped, “Well, I don’t know, Link! Are you really that set on bringing Bolson with us to dinner so you can talk  _ real estate!?” _

“I have an entire lifetime I still need to sort out, Sidon, I just--” Link was pulling at his hair. “I’m just asking if we can get this sorted out tonight so I can take you on a date tomorrow!”

“And I’m just asking you to go on a date with me tonight so you don’t put it off again!” Sidon begged. “We haven’t been on a date in weeks! And it’s starting to feel like that you don’t--that you don’t want this as much as I do!”

“Hylia, Sidon, we have a kid together!” Link threw his hands up. “We’re raising a kid together! Of course I want this!”

“Well, in my experience, you can want to raise a child with a person you don’t want to be romantically involved with,” Sidon snarled, straightening himself to his full height. “And from my experience, that has never ended well.”

“It--” Link’s brain shorted out suddenly before he roared, “Then why did you ask me to co-parent with you to begin with!?”

“Because I love you and I was hoping you’d love me back!” Sidon roared. Tears left his eyes, pausing Link long enough to rethink every argument and counter point he had. Link felt his hands, his ears, and his heart all fall to the ground at the same time as everything else Sidon had been saying up until this point clicked in his head. 

Sidon...Sidon was doubting Link’s feelings? 

Was Link fucking up that bad? 

“Oh…” Link looked to the ground, feeling tears pool in his own eyes.  _ Oh. _ He fucked up. “Sidon, I am so--”

“Oh Hylia,” Sidon blurted out suddenly, and when Link looked back up, his boyfriend wasn’t there. Or rather, Sidon was standing there, but his eyes had grown distant again. They had traveled back to that dark time that took Link’s happy Sidon away for a few days not even a week prior. “Oh, Hylia, I sound like her.”

“Sound like who?” Link asked, now pissed at himself  _ and _ confused. 

“I--” Sidon looked up, a sob heaving in his chest as he shook his head. “Link, I’m so sorry I--I can’t believe how selfish I’m being I should stop.”

“What?” Link reared. He was getting more confused by the second. In one moment, he was upset because Sidon wasn’t letting him go off the deep end in the name of avoiding more flashbacks. In another moment, he was upset because Sidon was somehow circling around to take his side from the start of the argument. “Sidon, I was being an ass! No! You’re not selfish, please, just--let me make it up to you--”

“No, no, no, I sound too much like her, oh  _ Hylia! _ I did the same thing to you that she did to me!” Sidon was gripping at his head fins in a panic. “It’s no wonder you’ve grown distant, this is all my fault!”

“Noooooo!” Link was pitching forward, “Put that thought away this instant, Daddy Shark, I’m your boyfriend and I’m raising Nami with you because I want to  _ be _ with you! I was being an ass and this is all my fault so let me take you to dinner! I can sort out the house shit later!”

Sidon fervently shook his head, tears streaming down his face even more. “Link, stop! It’s okay! I--let’s just...start over and go on our date tomorrow, okay? I can call the babysitter and ask to reschedule so you can go talk to Bolson. I’ll stay home with Nami.”

Link stared at his boyfriend in complete and utter disbelief as Sidon spoke. It was...it was insane. Sidon was smiling but...he just seemed so  _ sad. _

_ Wow, _ Link had fucked up! Awesome! 

“I--” Link gulped as the words evaded him. Trying to keep from crying, he lifted his hands and said, “I’m making this up to you tomorrow. I’m taking you on a proper date tomorrow and it’s gonna be just you and me, okay?”

“It’s alright if it’s not, Link,” Sidon smiled vacantly. Like hell it was. “You have so much on your plate--”

“Sidon,” Link felt himself glaring at his boyfriend. “You’re my priority. I love you, okay? Just...please let me prove it to you.”

Sidon’s smile faltered a little and those watery - genuine - eyes started to come back. Looking at the ground, Sidon said, “I--I love you too, but that’s why I don’t want to pressure you into something you don’t want--”

“You’re not pressuring me, Babe,” Link stepped forward to take his hands, and this time Sidon didn’t pull away. “Just  _ please _ let me make this up to you. And let me apologize. I’m the one who fucked up this time, okay?”

Sidon looked down at Link, skeptical. Link gave Sidon’s hands another squeeze.

“Okay?” Link said again. 

A heavy sigh hissed out of Sidon’s gills as he mumbled, “Okay.”

“You don’t sound like you believed in that,” Link pointed out. Sidon remained quiet, but his lip started pouting a bit like he was going to cry. “Ohhhh, Sidon, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault!” Sidon bit again, turning his head away to hide the fact that he was crying. Fucking Hylia, how much had Link fucked up in the last few months since this all started? “I just--I’m letting too many of my old demons get in the way of things. It’s like Revali said--I just--I just have to slough off the past, right?”

When Sidon’s smile returned, it looked more hopeful and panicked than Link had ever seen before. It was like Sidon was barely holding onto a thread and Link didn’t know how to help him. 

“I...Sidon, I think you’re right and we need to start over,” Link admitted. Sidon’s smile fell and he looked down tearfully.

“You’re right,” Sidon sighed. “I’m so sorry, Link…”

“Me--me too,” Link stuttered, leaning against his boyfriend for a hug. “Are...we gonna be okay?”

“I hope so,” Sidon hummed. “I want to be…”

Link felt himself smile in relief at that as he buried his face into Sidon’s chiseled abs, “Then I think we will be.”

Sidon hugged Link tighter at that, but Link froze when he realized his face was pressing further into Sidon’s abs than he usually did. Well...normally, Link had his face buried into Sidon higher up in his abdominals or his chest where he just had rock hard muscles. And maybe it was because Sidon had a bad habit of picking Link up, maybe it was because he was always tense, but for some reason Link had never noticed how much...softer the pooch in Sidon’s lower belly was compared to the rest of him. Actually, Link hadn’t even noticed a “pooch” before, this man was rippling peaks and valleys. Link hummed a little, feeling his brow furrow as he nuzzled his head against Sidon a bit, trying to determine what the cause of this new sensation was. 

It...Sidon was was a Zora, he had an egg pouch, was it an egg pouch? Link shrugged, liking the newfound pillow he discovered on his boyfriend, but when he pulled away from the hug to look his man in the eyes, he frowned at the ruffled little scales his face left behind. 

And the...fine little vertical lines lining Sidon’s skin under his scales. 

Link paused, and for a moment he thought he could hear a ticking clock with his laser focus in putting the riddle together. Years - like,  _ years _ \- later when Sidon would finally have to spell it out for him, Link would feel like a total royal ass for not putting the pieces together sooner, but in that moment, he was clueless and found himself tracing the fine little line on his boyfriend’s otherwise perfect body. “Babe?”

Sidon was still anxious and apprehensive, but absently brushed and smoothed Link’s hair while responding, “Yes?”

Link frowned deeper when he found yet another one of those little lines in another ruffled section of his scales, “Did...you have surgery a while ago?”

Sidon stared blankly at Link in confusion as he looked down at where Link was pointing. Then, in a wild and confusing flurry, Sidon yelped and hopped away, pushing Link to an arm’s length as he smoothed his scales back down until the mystery marks were nowhere to be seen. “Ah! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It’s uh--a  _ very long story,  _ my love.”

“So….what happened?” Link tilted his head to the side curiously. 

Sidon gave Link an absolutely sour look and heaved a sigh, “I...would rather not talk about it...didn’t you need to go see Bolson?”

“I’m uhhhhh little more worried about you right now,” Link admitted, crossing his arms. “If you don’t want to do the date anymore, that’s fine but...I could always go to the store and get a bottle of wine and we could try out the new TV and watch one of those crime shows Naboo was talking about after Nami’s asleep--”

“That sounds lovely and I would love that, but Link you are going to be fixated on this house thing until you talk to Bolson,” Sidon gave Link a pointed glare. “So...talk to him and  _ then _ we can drink wine and watch crime shows?”

Link didn’t know why he felt so belligerent that evening, his boyfriend  _ continued _ to be in the right and have good ideas. He just...couldn’t help himself. “But--”

“Link,” Sidon glared at him. “Go talk to Bolson.”

“But our date--”

“An evening with my love is and will continue to be in danger until you get this wild home improvement hair out of your ass!” Sidon finally snapped, baring his teeth slightly. Pointing in the direction of town, he added. “Go.  _ Now.” _

“Okay, fine!”

“And you’re getting the dry red!” 

“But I hate the dry red--”

“Did I stutter?!”

“Okay,  _ fine!  _ But I’m getting beer for myself then!”

“You’ll be belching all night!”

“Did I fucking stutter?!”

“Okay,  _ fine!” _

* * *

Sidon returned to the house and shut the door with a long,  _ heavy _ sigh. He could hear Link crumbling about wine all the way down the hill and Sidon could only press his forehead into the door and hold back his own grumbles. 

Hylia, he hoped Nami didn’t hear their shouting match. 

Well...only one way to find out. 

“Hey, honey?” Sidon called up to the loft where a soft blue glow painted the ceiling. Welp. That was new. If he paid closer attention, he could hear the hum of voices that didn’t belong to anyone he knew and that was even stranger. As Sidon called to her, Nami’s shadow shifted on the ceiling and then the voices grew quieter. 

“Yeaaaah?”

“Do you need anything before I come upstairs?” Sidon asked. She...sounded fine. 

“Nooo!” Nami called back. “Except--mmmm, Daaaad this episode won’t end for another ten minutes can you wait?”

“What?” Sidon felt his snout scrunch a little in confusion. “Why?”

“Because it’s a show you won’t like!”

“Why not?”

“Because!”

Sidon held his breath, but dared to ask, “Is it that  _ Sofia the First?” _

Nami got quiet and turned the volume back up.

“Minami!” Sidon barked. “You didn’t answer my question!”

“Well the commercial break’s over and it’s actually really good!” Nami whined a little louder. “Pleeeeease, Dad! It’s really good. I really like it!” 

Sidon was honestly too tired to get into more senseless arguments that evening. As it stood, Nami had made it abundantly clear that she liked the existence of this damn television show and until he could meet with the writing team and their lawyers, Sidon really couldn’t do much to shelter her from it. 

“Well, if you can’t beat them, join them,” Sidon mumbled to himself as he rolled his eyes. Then he raised his voice to call to his daughter, “Okay, fine! But I wanna watch it with you!”

“Then bring the ice cream!” 

“I thought you said you didn’t want anything!” Sidon giggled to himself, though he marched over to the ice box anyway to pull out the tub and two spoons. They were on vacation. They could be lazy, right?

“Well, I changed my mind!” Nami giggled. “Come up here!”

“I’m coming!” Sidon hummed, trotting up the stairs. He found Nami sitting on the edge of the bed surrounded by a half-eaten bowl of popcorn with the quilt draped over her head. Sidon never understood how that was a comfortable position for her, especially when reading, but he assumed it was because she was still so  _ little  _ and anything that was comfortable for her was just  _ adorable _ to Sidon. Sidon pulled the quilt off her head only so he could recline on the bed against the wall. “Okay, scooch over so I can cuddle.”

“Kaaaay,” Nami droned, tucking pillows all around herself and Sidon before pulling the blanket over them both like they were hunkered in a nest. Sidon especially liked this quilt that now lived on Link’s bed. It was a Sidon-sized quilt. It was a Sidon-sized quilt that Naboo and one of her girlfriends had made for them not too long ago! 

Speaking of...Naboo had been  _ rather _ secretive of this new girlfriend, though she seemed especially excited about her. Sidon couldn’t help but wonder when he would get to meet her! 

Also...Sidon really needed to ask Naboo how dating three women at the same time even worked. 

Nami distracted Sidon by settling down on his chest and whispering, “Okay! So Sofia and her best friend Bow are getting ready to go on a trip with her dads. I think you’re supposed to be the one with the red mermaid hair.”

“The one named  _ King Sidonaphan?” _ Sidon guessed, scooping a heaping wad of ice cream into his mouth before helping Nami with her spoonful. “It’s like they combined my name with Grandpa’s!” 

“That’s what I was thinking!” Nami giggled, her tail wagging a mile a minute. Well...at least she was happy. 

“Although, I will say that I appreciate the show for casting such a  _ handsome _ Hylian to be me,” Sidon chuffed in amusement. And...yeah, okay  _ King Sidonaphan _ was rather a fine specimen. Not quite as impressive in physique as Link but...oh, he was still divine to look at. 

“That’s what I was thinking!” Nami’s grin grew brighter as she repeated herself. Resting her little head on Sidon’s shoulder she asked, “So...where’s Papa?”

“He’s going to talk to Bolson and then grab a bottle of wine,” Sidon explained. “We decided to uh...postpone date night.”

“Awww,” Nami frowned, “But...you’re gonna have an actual date soon, right?”

Sidon frowned and looked down at the pensive expression Nami was wearing. Was she...had she been worried about them? Was the awkward distance really that obvious? Forcing a smile, Sidon kissed his little girl on the head, “Don’t worry, Sweet Minnow. Papa and I are going on a date tomorrow. It’s...just with everything going on with his memories, sometimes it’s hard for him to focus until he addresses the flashback and...well, this flashback reminded him of his relationship with his own father.”

“Did Papa have a bad dad?” Nami asked. 

“I wouldn’t say that Geoff was a  _ bad _ dad…” Sidon trailed off, recalled the few fleeting interactions that he did have with the Hylian General, then frowned. “Well, we know Papa’s nothing like his father.”

“Yeah, Papa’s a great dad,” Nami grinned, her tail giving a little thump. “And so are you! I’m just sorry that your date got cancelled.”

“It’s okay, Nami--”

“And it’s okay to give Papa a stern talking to when he fucks up.”

“Minami.”

“When he  _ messes _ up!” 

Sidon gave her a sideways glare but dropped the issue and pulled her into a tight hug while she shoved the ice cream scoop into her mouth. Nuzzling the top of her head with his cheek, Sidon sighed, “I’m just sorry that you get in the middle of this. It’s not fair for a little girl to see her parents arguing.”

“Oh, I didn’t get in the middle of it, I was eavesdropping,” Nami bluntly admitted. Sidon pulled out of the hug just long enough to stare at her and the little shit even dared to wag her tail and giggle. “What? I like to know what’s going on! All the love stories my teacher showed me in school end with the guy getting the girl and they have their first kiss! But it never shows me what happens  _ after _ that! I wanna know these things! Like I even read a book where the main character’s boyfriend had amnesia! And then he fell in love with her! And it stopped at the falling in love part but nobody ever said what you do when the boyfriend’s amnesia goes away! This is prime source material!”

“Uh-huh,” Sidon spat dryly, catching Nami as she clambered all over him until she slipped off his chest. Cradling her in his arm, he asked, “So tell me, my little scientist, are you going to write romance novels in your spare time?”

“That’s a great idea!” Nami giggled, kicking her feet out. Sidon couldn’t help but laugh and blow a raspberry onto her belly.

* * *

“Stupid Bolson and his stupid safety procedures,” Link grumbled to himself as he kicked a stray glass bottle down the street.  _ Apparently, _ Bolson had to do an  _ inspection _ of the property before doing anything else. And even then, it would take a full week just to set the appointments with his workers, get the permits, and start working on the house. As much as Sidon was right that Link’s hyperfixation was out of control, he was walking on thin ice and  _ absolutely could not _ take a full week just to do a demolition derby on his house. 

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Link could feel Zelda beating him upside the head, her shrill voice lecturing him in that same exhausted tone that she gave him the week prior:  _ “Why don’t you find a therapist?! It’d be good for you and make you better at processing these flashbacks!” _

Link stuck his tongue out in disgust and kicked at a pebble, missed, then spun around and fell on his ass. 

“FUCK THERAPY!” Link screamed, because that concept was the easiest thing to be mad at in that moment. He didn’t want therapy, he wanted all these repressed memories to just... _ stay repressed. _ Or go away. Or belong to somebody else. Or maybe Link just wanted a nap. Or sex. Or sex, then a nap. 

Oh...but Sidon probably wasn’t going to be in the mood for sex that night anyway. He was rarely in the mood when they brought Nami to Hateno because...well, everything was technically open and Sidon wasn’t exactly quiet. Which was another  _ excellent _ reason as to why they needed an extension on the house! 

“Ohhhh!” Link roared, pulling out his bottle of beer (and...the sake) out of the grocery bag before tossing the bag into the wind. He came up to the house from behind that night, and watched as the bag danced in the wind and landed unsatisfyingly on a rock. Spinning around to see the faint blue glow of the new TV from the window, Link couldn’t help but cry out, “I hate everything!” 

  
  
  


_ Well...I wouldn’t say you hate everything, Dear Hero… _

  
  


Link paused at the sound of the deep booming voice ringing in his ears. Turning behind him to face the source of the voice, Link felt a chill run up his spine when he realized there was no one around. 

  
  


_ Not no one, Hero. I am here. I’ve always been here. _

  
  


“Who the fuck--?” Link asked himself, but his eyes somehow fell on the now suspicious looking rock holding the grocery bag. 

_ Now you’re getting it...also, do you mind taking off the grocery bag? It’s tickling my nose and well...there are about five or six itches I can’t scratch. _

Link must’ve been hallucinating. He was going insane, these flashbacks were getting to him and if he went to therapy now, he was going to be diagnosed with some schizoaffective situation, he just knew it. 

_ Oh My, you are even more erratic than you were one hundred years ago. You are not hallucinating, Hero. I am but the Horned God Statue you so graciously colored all over in your youth. Took fifty years to wash the remaining crayon off, mind you. _

“Oh…” Link was already opening his beer as he sat down in front of the statue. Removing the grocery bag, he tucked it into his pocket and blushed. “S-sorry.”

_ Other children have done worse…. _ The statue sounded like it was  _ sighing _ and if Link looked closely, he could almost see the faintest green glow coming from the facets of the statue.  _ So tell me, Hero, what has you so riled up on this fine evening? _

“Well, for one I’m talking to a  _ statue,” _ Link pointed out, taking a long swig of his alcohol. “For another...well, apparently I’ve met you before? But I don’t remember shit and the stuff I do remember has thrown a fat fucking wrench into my relationship! Also, who the hell are you!?”

_ Well, this is a lot to unpack, _ the statue hummed,  _ So I’ll address your question. I have gone by many names over many millennia. I am older than Hyrule itself and it would seem that I can remember every single name of every single person who passes this hill except for my own. I blame the curse She placed on me all those eons ago.  _

“Who did?” Link asked.

_ Oh, but I cannot say. What I will say is that I have encountered several of your predecessors. Once as an enemy - that Damn Woman sealed me away in a mask until I was driven to madness, and then once I was finally free, She hunted me like a game animal until I tired out in this continent, and then she sealed me here - since the Master of Time passed along, I served as a...lucky charm, if you would to other Heroes and other travelers who could hear my voice. It’s been...so long since I had a proper conversation, Link - you do seem to prefer your name over your title - so tell me, how are you? _

“I--you spill your life story on me and tell me you’re some sort of cursed demon--”

_ God, _ the statue corrected,  _ I am a cursed God. _

“That’s even worse!” Link snapped, scooting away a couple inches. Unfortunately for him, his morbid curiosity got the better of him and he wouldn’t just get up and leave. “And you want to know how I am!?”

_ Yes, _ the statue said,  _ You seem distraught. _

“Yeah, a little!” Link grimaced. “So where should I start?! The tides of destiny somehow drawing me to you every fucking lifetime or the fact that my boyfriend is convinced I hate him for reasons he’s not telling me!?”

_ The first one is boring and over done, I want to hear about this boyfriend of yours! Last I heard, you were sweet on that fine...well, loud Rito man… _

“Yeah, apparently, but I don’t remember shit for shit,” Link sat up on his knees, “And again - what I  _ do _ remember is fucking up my relationship with Sidon!”

_ The Zora Prince? Oh, that one is a deep sea of twisted emotion. I can sense it from here even.  _

“You...know Sidon?” Link blinked.

_ I just told you in my prologue, I know the names of every soul who has ever passed me. Of course I know Prince Sidon. He’s...a surprisingly complicated soul for one so chipper.  _

“Really?” Link frowned. “How so?”

_ As a God, one of the things I can do is peer into a mortal’s soul. I can see their biggest hopes and dreams. I can also see their biggest fears. And I must say that given the fact that he is your soulmate, he certainly handles his biggest fears rather counterintuitively. _

“Sidon’s…” Link looked back up at his house. “Afraid of things?”

_ Of course he is! He’s afraid of loss. He’s afraid of death. He’s afraid of solitude most of all. And yet, he pushes those closest to away and keeps them at arm’s length to avoid the sting of loss and death. But that only fulfills his greatest fear of all in the process. What’s worse is his greatest fear is the only one that he has control over. _

“He…” Link trailed off, at a loss for words. Somehow...with the way Sidon could just grow distant and push everything off in the heat of their earlier argument, that all made  _ sense. _ But also, Link felt really dirty gossiping about his boyfriend with some kind of God that was probably a Demon but was definitely cursed and also a statue. “That’s so sad.”

_ Yes...and yet, he took the chance of letting that little girl into his heart. Even after the loss of the first one.  _

“Now say that one more time!?” Link snapped in confusion. “What first one?”

_ If he hasn’t told you, then it’s probably not relevant yet, _ the statue chuckled to itself,  _ But I’m not one to spoil  _ everything _ for you. There’s no fun in that. So tell me, what is it that has you so unnerved and at odds with that one? _

“I just...I’m...confused,” Link admitted. “I love Sidon. I love him with my whole heart. And I want to be there for him but with all this happening to me, I...I don’t know. I don’t know my feelings for Revali and I don’t know what all happened and I don’t know how to prove to Sidon that I still love him!”

_ Now I see that your fears are coming out, _ the statue mused.  _ You never did cope well with being different from others. Or at least different from Her status quo. It’s interesting to finally see a Hero that defies the precedent that She set. At least out loud. But I digress...so you’re coping with the fact that you love two separate people at the same time, yes? _

“I...yeah, except don’t forget the part where one is very dead and the other is terrified of death and apparently has a habit of pushing important people away from him,” Link added, as if they were making a list. “Seriously, what the hell do I do?”

_ Well, you could do a number of things: therapy would be a good one. _

“NEXT,” Link snapped dryly. If the statue could flinch, it probably would. 

_ Uhhhh, well, that just changed everything I was going to say next so...have you ever considered discussing some of your greatest fears with him? _

“No,” Link scratched his nose a little bit. “Why?”

_ Because...mortals seem to thrive off healthy communication? _

“Sounds lame,” Link rolled his eyes. 

_ You are more dense than the Child who fought me inside the moon, _ the statue groaned. 

“WAIT, HOLD ON!” Link shot up to his feet at that, laughing hysterically, “You fought a past me in the  _ moon?!” _

_ Yes, _ the statue sighed in annoyance,  _ I was having an angsty phase in the midst of my insanity and tried to drop the moon on the next continent over. Which...in hindsight wasn’t a very good plan...but I was fairly mentally unstable at the time and I’ve grown from it.  _

“That’s badass!” Link guffawed. 

_ Absolutely not, _ the statue lectured,  _ I’m not doing anything to do with the moon ever again, now please.  _

“Well, I’m just saying,” Link rolled his eyes as he plopped back down on his ass. “Dropping the  _ moon _ onto a continent is a pretty grand and ballsy gesture and a great way to show exactly how you feel about a situation.”

_ It...certainly got the point across...although, now I hate to say it but if you’re as emotionally constipated as a fairy, you might benefit from the gift of a grand gesture. And that is even something that I could help with! _

Link sat forward a little bit and rubbed his hands together, “What kind of gesture are we talking here?”

_ A magical one that does not impede on the lives or well-beings of those around us. _

“Well, obviously,” Link rolled his eyes, “But magic? What kind of magic? We haven’t exactly had magical means in centuries!”

_ Yes, I know, _ the statue hummed,  _ Sealing both the Twilight Realm and the Sacred Realm has not boded well for the existence of magic in this world...which is a real pity considering how much time and effort my Sisters put into this place. _

“Yeah so, what ideas you got?” Link waggled his eyebrows a little bit.

_ Well, what is this man wanting?  _

“Uhhhh,” Link frowned, “To know that I’m committed to him? And if he’s afraid of loss I guess….what the hell is going to prove to him that I’m in this for the long haul? That I love him and he didn’t pressure me into dating just because I agreed to help him raise his kid first?”

The statue paused for a long moment as if to think, but then it derailed and gasped,  _ Wait back up a moment, Link. Did you say that you’re...raising Prince Sidon’s child? _

“Yes?” Link raised an eyebrow. “I’m her Papa.”

_ And you are  _ legally _ her father? _

“Yes?”

_ ….how much of your childhood do you remember?  _

“Jackshit.”

_ That explains it...okay. Here’s my proposition for you, Link. If you want help wooing the Zora Prince and helping him overcome his fears. You are going to have to overcome your own.  _

“Okay cool!” Link grinned, feeling his eyes shift a little. “And...that would be…?”

_ Well, you’re going to have to remember it, _ the statue was chuckling again.  _ Take some time to reflect and sit in a few more of those hiding memories. Once you finally recall your greatest fear, let yourself sit in that, face it the next time you see your daughter after recalling it, and then come back to me.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like...I'm not saying that Majora is gonna one day poof a Sidlink baby into existence just to See What Happens, but I *am* saying that if you've read From the Goddesses Above already uhhhhh.....you know exactly what happens next. 
> 
> Also yeah, if the Moon Dropping hint wasn't enough, this statue is absolutely Majora but I promise he's not evil it's just a wiiiiiild miscommunication that he and Time had back in the day AKA curses and bad mental health as mentioned above. If you're wondering how in the hell he ended up stuck in the statue on that hill in Hateno (you know, the one that you can exchange stamina wheels for heart containers and visa versa? I'm using that and you can thank Alex for the idea), then I'm gonna strongly recommend you buckle in for the next decade when BOTW 4 or whatever has just obliterated all my headcanons anyway because a Majora-related arc is something that Sidon, Link, their kids, and their GRANDKIDS are going to be dealing with. That's how long this shit's planned out for God Help Me.


	6. Bluebirds and Secret Girlfriends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidon and Link continue to struggle around the changes to their relationship. Link and Revali just struggle. Naboo returns, and Nami makes an exciting discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIIIIIIIIVE! 
> 
> Oh my fucking god the last MONTH has been a literal nightmare. I mean, I don't even need to talk about my own life we all saw how this month went. But, even though I am desperately behind on work and basically making 2 lesson plans per class at this point (gotta love being back in person....MMMMMM), I needed to give myself an extra serotonin boost after the hell of this election week. But! We did it! We got somewhere! And you all deserve some serotonin too! And I've given up on trying to finish this story before Age of Calamity comes out and I'm just here to have a good time! 
> 
> Enjoy!

_ When Prince Sidon was but a young Zora in his twenties, the world was still an incredibly dangerous place. He didn’t need to leave the Domain to find swarming guardians. But also….if guardians were finding their own way to Zora’s Domain, why was his father so insistent he stay put? _

_ At least, that was the young prince’s mentality when he struck out against Father’s will….without telling his father and...without...any really good reason as to why he left. _

_ Okay, so Sidon ran away. But he wasn’t a child anymore! He needed to see the world!  _

_ …..okay, so he wanted to prove that he was still fit to train in the Military Academy. He wasn’t going to be a lazy prince who sat with his head buried in the sand while his friends actively risked their lives! While  _ Vali _ risked his life!  _

_ He just...hadn’t expected there to be so many more guardians beyond the borders of Zorana. He could almost tell the moment he set foot on Hyrule’s former territory. It was as if they all sensed his presence at once and swarmed after anything that was living. It was unreal.  _

_ So the Prince quickly found himself fighting for his life, firing off arrows until he ran out. He drew his sword, but realized that some of the monsters coming for him were twice his very size. So he turned tail and ran. Unfortunately, he was quickly cornered as he made way for high ground. Had his best friend, Vali, not swooped in to save him, Sidon would have been toast. _

_ “Sidon!” Vali called out, striking a Moblin down with his sword. “Are you okay!?” _

_ “As okay as I’ll ever be!” Sidon barked back, dodging a broadsword from an angry Lynel. Was this…? This was dangerous, right? Tucking and rolling, Sidon dove towards Vali until the pair of them were back to back. Sidon looked behind them, and realized they were now standing on the edge of a cliff with nowhere else to go. Scanning the swarm of monsters still encroaching on them, Sidon couldn’t help but ask, “So how do we get out of this?” _

_ Vali responded by pulling something out of his weapon’s pouch. Pulling some sort of metal pin out with his teeth, Vali tossed what Sidon suddenly realized was a grenade and ordered, “Jump!” _

_ “Jump?!” Sidon shrieked, “But where!?” _

_ “JUMP!” Vali yelled, pushing Sidon off the side of the cliff before jumping after him. Sidon screamed, tumbling uncontrollably until he hit the river at the bottom. When he breached the surface to see the burning fire and shrieking monsters up above, it started to occur to Sidon that he might’ve been out of his depth.  _

_ As a matter of fact, he might’ve been killed that day had it not been for Vali. Actually...he and Vali would’ve both been killed that day had they not been saved in that moment by a young Rito warrior and her Hylian grandmother.  _

_ The young bluebird swooped in from overhead, drawing her father’s bow as she fired several bomb arrows off at still-advancing enemies. While she had them distracted, a Hylian woman - Lady Clara - ran up to the bank and called out, “Boys! This way!” _

_ “Don’t have to tell me twice!” Vali snapped, swimming towards her. “Thanks, Clara!”  _

_ “Don’t thank me yet,” Clara frowned, her gaze firm, “We have to survive this swarm first!”  _

_ Lady Clara, Mother of the Hero, was the wife of a Hylian General. Before the Calamity, she had been a humble music teacher in the heart of Hateno Village. When her son and the other Champions fell to the Calamity, however, Clara left Hateno to raise Master Revali’s younger sister. They had both lost loved ones that day. They were both left alone to their own devices. So they looked after each other and grew up to be mighty warriors in their own right.  _

_ As Sidon took Clara’s hand, he couldn’t help but feel a dark, sick feeling settle in his stomach. She was a strong warrior, a proud woman, but a warm and loving mother. She survived losing her only son to the Calamity...so why couldn’t his own mother have done the same? _

_ “What were you  _ thinking!?” _ Clara snapped suddenly, pulling Sidon out of his thoughts by bonking him with her staff. They were now huddled under a thicket for cover, waiting for the stronger - bigger - enemies to pass by. “Do you know how worried your father must be!?” _

_ “Ow! Clara, I’m sorry!” Sidon whined, flinching away from her strikes to the head. “OW!” _

_ “You should be! But I’m not the one you should be apologizing to,” Clara declared with one final swat to his shoulder. “There is a  _ reason _ King Dorephan doesn’t want you leaving the Domain right now, Prince Sidon. Reba is able to travel because she can  _ fly. _ That is the only reason!”  _

_ Sidon grimaced, but otherwise held his tongue while Clara continued to lecture him. He did manage to exchange a pouting glance at Vali, but Vali merely snickered at his expense. That is, Vali was snickering until Clara turned her icy blue gaze towards him. _

_ “And you, young man! I thought you told me you would keep a better eye on him!” _

_ “I am! I--I thought I was!” Vali whined, his pouty little frown contradicting his bright orange scales. “It was just--I came to get him!” _

_ Clara gave Vali a stern glare, but said little more as the elegant little bluebird landed just a few feet in front of them in the open field. Ruffling her feathers a little bit, Reba turned and looked up to the three of them with vibrant green eyes: “All clear!” _

_ “Thank you, Sweetheart,” Clara smiled, her warmth returning as she left their little shelter to inspect Reba. “Are you hurt?” _

_ “No, Grandma,” Reba shook her head. “I’m okay!” _

_ “Well, that’s good to hear,” Clara sighed. The Hylian woman then placed a kiss on Reba’s forehead, and Sidon watched with a certain amount of heartache as Reba giggled and nuzzled her grandmother gently with her beak.  _

_ Before Sidon could get any crabbier about his day, Reba looked up so sweetly at both Sidon and Vali to ask, “Now are  _ you two _ okay? You were in such an explosion!” _

_ “Oh, we’re fine, Reba,” Vali waved lazily to her.  _

_ “Why yes!” Sidon grinned, raising his fist. “We are much more spry than we appear!” _

_ “Spry or lucky,” Reba hummed, and if she wasn’t such a gentle soul, Sidon might’ve wondered if she was insulting him. She reminded Sidon of Mipha in that regard. He...he missed Mipha. But Reba didn’t let Sidon dwell on those thoughts for long, for suddenly she was inspecting his scales and his singed armor. When her gaze drifted up just above Sidon’s head, Reba frowned, “Oh--your feather!” _

_ “Hm?” Sidon grunted, but lifted his hand to follow her bright green eyes. He could still feel the heat brush his fingertips, and he realized that the blue feather he had on his headdress had been burned away. “Oh! Goodness, I suppose it’s tattered.” _

_ Reba kept a wide-eyed gaze as she nodded her head. She then reached up to lift the headdress off of Sidon’s head. She cradled the silver jewelry gently in her hands. Sure enough, there were even some embers still burning on the stem that was left. Well...that was a bummer.  _

_ “Who gave this to you?” Reba asked. Sidon cocked his head to the side in confusion. _

_ “I’m...not sure what you mean,” Sidon admitted. “My sister gave it to me when I was little, if that’s what you're asking. Where she got it...I have no idea. She said that it was a protective guard of sorts? Perhaps that is what saved me!” _

_ Reba smiled, her eyes sparkling again. “Well, in Rito Culture, it is common for us to give a feather to a loved one for that very reason.”  _

_ “It...is?” Sidon grimaced. “Oh Hylia, did a Rito propose to my sister?” _

_ Reba responded in kind with feather light giggles as she explained, “No, silly! I know you Zora make armor from your scales as a wedding gift. But Rito...well, we give a feather to anyone we care for that needs protection. It’s not limited to your soulmate. Grandmother carries a feather of mine for protection. I still keep a couple feathers from my Papi...er...Revali as well!” _

_ “I see,” Sidon couldn’t help but smile at the way Reba lit up when she spoke of the late Champion. Reba was only a couple of years younger than Sidon, but when he was a boy he had assumed that she and Revali had the same brother-sister relationship that he had with Mipha. It wasn’t until more recently, reconnecting as young adults, that Prince Sidon learned about Reba’s childhood in the orphanage. How Revali practically raised her from when she was freshly hatched egg. How he later adopted her. How, in spite of his youth, he had been a father to her more than anything else. “So I take it that a Rito must’ve gifted my feather to Mipha?” _

_ “It was probably Papi,” Reba giggled. “He always had a funny way of showing his affection. He probably gave it to her to pass along to you!” _

_ “Oh,” Sidon glanced sadly down at the charred remains of Revali’s feather. Oops. “I’m...I’m terribly, sorry, Reba. I had no idea!” _

_ “Oh, no harm done!” Reba chirped. “This just means that his feather protected you, like you said! Even in death, my parents are watching over us. They all are, Prince Sidon. And I think that’s wonderful.” _

_ “Mmmmm,” Vali hummed just as that sick feeling in Sidon’s stomac returned. “Reba, maybe ixnay on the dead parents...ay?” _

_ “Vali, you’re not subtle,” Sidon snapped, shooting a glare at the idiotic ray of sunshine. No really, the sun was reflecting off of Vali’s scales in a way that made him just look like the morning sun. Did he always have to look that pretty?  _

_ “Well!” Vali cringed. “I’m just! You get bitchy when depressing topics come up and I think sometimes we all forget how much more well adjusted Reba is than you! And she’s been orphaned! Twice!”  _

_ “Vali!” Sidon snapped again, baring his teeth a little. “Would you shut up?!” _

_ “I’m nervous so no!” Vali whined back. “I don’t do good in tense situations!” _

_ “This isn’t a tense situation!” _

_ “Well you’re tense and it’s a situation!” Vali retorted. Reba snorted a little, breaking the silence with her giggles.  _

_ “I swear, you two are always the highlights to my day!” Reba grinned. She then removed the burnt feather from Sidon’s headdress and offered, “Here. Let me give you one of my feathers. That way you’re still protected no matter where you go!” _

_ “Oh, Reba, that’s very sweet but you don’t have to--” Sidon started, but Reba was quick to pluck a feather from one of her sky blue wings and replace it. Sidon’t couldn’t get a word in edgewise before she fluttered off the ground a bit and placed the silver jewel back on his head. She landed back on the ground with the brightest smile and he almost felt obligated to gasp, “Thank you.” _

_ “You’re welcome!” Reba chirped. “I can’t have my friends go unprotected. If you ever need a new one, just let me know!” _

* * *

The sounds of giggles stirred Sidon awake that morning. Lifting his head off the pillow, it dawned on him that his daughter and boyfriend had long since been up and effectively abandoned him to his dreams. Odd, normally Sidon was the first to rise. 

But….Sidon was  _ also _ the one who drowned his sorrows into half a tub of ice cream the night before and he  _ still _ felt sluggish and achy from it. Ohhhh, why did ice cream have to be so delicious and comforting? He knew he couldn’t tolerate high amounts of sugar! Why did he always do this to himself? 

“Papa!” Nami squealed from downstairs. There was a loud little thump that caused Sidon to sit up. Oh, he hoped they weren’t rough housing too much. Pulling himself out of bed, Sidon glanced over the balcony to see the duo play wrestling as Nami pulled Link into a headlock. 

“Ahhh! You got me!” Link teased, flailing his limb and faking a cry for help when Nami let out a ferocious little squeak of a growl. “Oh nooooo!” 

Nami continued to giggle as Link flailed about, and Sidon couldn’t help but feel himself swooning at the sight. Did he still feel frazzled from the day before? Unbelievably so. But seeing Link dote and love on their little girl just...it gave him  _ hope. _

And he really needed hope right now. 

There was a sudden gasp when Nami looked up and saw Sidon, “No! Dad, you gotta go back to sleep!” 

Sidon’s smile suddenly fell, “Why?”

“Because you gotta!” Nami ordered while Link scrambled up to his feet with a matching expression. Sidon continued watching the duo in confusion while Link darted to the oven. Nami sprinted up the stairs and before he could even ask what he had done wrong, he felt little hands pressing against the calves of his legs. “Daaaaad! Go back to beeeed!”

“But why?” Sidon asked again, glancing down at the way his little girl was slanted at a forty-five degree angle. She was pushing against him with all her might. He was afraid to move. If he moved, she’d surely fall over. But if he stayed, she’d keep pushing him and growling in frustration. 

So Sidon stood there, uselessly confused, until Nami snapped at him again: “DAD! BED!”

“Okay!” Sidon threw his hands up pathetically. He very carefully took a step away to make sure she didn’t fall over, then hesitantly climbed back into bed. He had barely gotten to fluff the pillow before Nami hopped on his back and threw the entirety of her weight into him. “Oof! Nami!”

“You gotta sleep!” Nami demanded, crawling all over him until Sidon was more comfortably lying on his stomach. As she tapped on his shoulders, Nami lowered her voice and whispered, “Papa’s trying to surprise you.”

“With what?” Sidon asked, noting the way his daughter managed to beat a couple of knots out of his shoulders with her tapping. This girl was getting strong. If she got anywhere near his height, she might be able to best him in battle one day. Oh dear.

“It’s a surprise,” Nami grinned. Sidon whined and buried his head into the pillow. He wasn’t quite sure how long he waited, forced down on the bed by the (feather light) weight of his young daughter until she herself fell asleep. He didn’t remember dozing off, but he must’ve for he jumped a little when he felt a little hand brushing his dorsal fin. When he opened his eyes, the scent of freshly cooked bacon and sausage filled his senses and Sidon was fairly certain he could feel his pupils dilate a little bit. 

Link’s bright blue eyes filled Sidon’s heart and vision when he knelt down and whispered, “I made you breakfast.”

“Oh,” Sidon hummed, sitting up a little. He paused when he felt Nami’s snoring form shift on top of him. Oh heavens, was he trapped? “Link, honey, you didn’t have to do that--”

“I know,” Link placed a kiss on the top of Sidon’s head. “But I wanted to….and...I felt really bad about last night.” 

“It’s alright,” Sidon shook his head, trying and failing to wriggle out from underneath Nami. She could fit neatly between his shoulder blades - in fact that’s where she was - he could just sit up and move her. But she had chosen him to fall asleep on, he couldn’t just...he couldn’t just  _ abandon her _ like that! “We were both in the wrong last night--”

“Sidon,” Link sighed, shaking his head a little. “I can’t help but wonder if I’ve made you...doubt just how important you are to me.”

Hmmm. Sidon was chewing on the inside of his lip a little. “Link, you’ve done nothing wrong--”

“Babe,” Link rolled his eyes, “You’re avoiding the topic.”

“No!” Sidon defended. “I just...well, I just want to assure you that we’re fine!”

Link gave Sidon a dry look, then took hold of Sidon’s hand. “I love you, you know that?”

“I--” Sidon swallowed a thick lump in his throat. “Of course, Link.”

“You have my heart, Sidon,” Link smiled. He then stole Sidon’s breath away with a soft, simple kiss. When their lips parted, he said again, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Link,” Sidon found himself looking down. A sick, dark feeling crept up from the pit of his stomach and dared circle around his heart. He didn’t like this feeling. “More than anything in the world.”

“Sidon?” Link squeezed his hand, seeming to note the pit that formed in Sidon’s stomach. “What’s wrong?”

“I...nothing,” Sidon shook his head.

“Babe, talk to me,” Link leaned forward a little bit. “What’s on your mind?”

“I just...I can’t help but wonder,” Sidon felt himself blinking away tears. Oh, he hated himself for even  _ thinking _ about it: “Do you love me more than Revali?”

* * *

_ “This is stupid,” Revali spat. “Why do we even have to do this?!” _

_ “Because you pissed off the General,” Link signed flippantly.  _

_ “Well, maybe you shouldn’t have--” _

_ “Boys!” General Grandon barked from across the arena. His back was to them as he sorted through literal shelves of spears and swords, running his hands along the hilts until he found what he was looking for. Turning back around, he wore a snarky grin that made Link sick to his stomach. Yeah, they were in deep. “So glad you could join me.” _

_ “Not like we had much of a choice,” Revali scoffed, crossing his arms. “I’ll have you know that your--your soldiers’ wake up call scared the crap out of my sister this morning!” _

_ “Is that so?” Grandon blinked. “Apologies. From what I was told, I thought the squawking just came from you. But Reba seems to be in good spirits. Dory’s watching her up top with my grandson.” _

_ Link frowned at that, glancing up towards the top of the stadium where - sure enough - three little heads stood waving down at them. To really add salt to their inbound wounds, Prince Sidon’s little “Hi, Liiink!” echoed for a solid minute straight. This was going to be just. Just great.  _

_ “So,” Grandon leaned against his sword, “Who wants to go first?” _

_ “Against what!?” Revali finally threw his hands up in frustration. “I am the greatest warrior in all the Rito and you are blind! How is this supposed to be training!?” _

_ General Grandon grunted a little bit, his lips pursing into a frown as he shrugged, “Huh, I didn’t realize the bar for the Rito was ‘any twirp who can shoot good’. That’s a little concerning but - in the meantime - if you are this confident in your abilities, why don’t you go first?” _

_ “I--” Revali sputtered a little bit, feathers dancing off his form in his frustration. “I could seriously injure you, you know!” _

_ “That’s if you can land a hit, Son,” Grandon grinned to himself. He took a few steps back and lowered his stance, adding, “But. Like you keep saying, I am a very old, very blind man. Surely you can land a few scuffs and scrapes.” _

_ “This is unbelievable,” Revali muttered to himself. He drew his dagger - Link didn’t even know the pigeon had any semblance of a sword - and readied himself. Grandon almost immediately slackened. _

_ “That’s it?” Grandon chuffed. “Don’t you want to uh..pick something else out?” _

_ “Pick--!? How do you know what I have, Old Man!?” Revali interrogated.  _

_ “My hearing is excellent,” Grandon explained. “So? What will you do? Because that butter knife won’t be very helpful--” _

_ “I’m tired of this!” Revali finally roared. Taking off, he zipped across the arena until he was coming down on top of Grandon with his talons. Link winced a little, seeing the angle Revali was trying to strike him at. Grandon hadn’t even moved. His head hadn’t even turned in the direction of Revali’s beating wings. With a defeated sigh, Grandon side-stepped out of the way and Link couldn’t look away when Revali all but shattered his legs upon striking the ground. “FUCK!” _

_ “My first piece of advice - and I cannot believe I am saying this - don’t announce when you’re charging,” Grandon said tiredly. “Especially when your opponent just announced that their best sense is hearing.” _

_ “How did you--!?” Revali shouted with a strangled, angry noise, “How did you know!?” _

_ Grandon said nothing, but sheathed his sword and struck Revali upside the head with it. Revali pitched forward, holding his head as he screamed, “HEY!” _

_ “Don’t make me explain myself twice, Young Man,” Grandon warned. “I ought to have you running laps for that.” _

_ “But I--!” _

_ “I’ve seen all I need out of you,” Grandon announced, “Alright, Link. You’re up!” _

_ “But--” Link spat suddenly. Why was he getting drug into this? He knew how strong the general was! He wasn’t the one being disrespectful!  _

_ “I said, you’re up!” Grandon crossed his arms. “Come along, Son.” _

_ Link bit back a groan, fighting hard to take the advice he had just witnessed from Revali’s failings. Drawing his own sword, Link readied his stance, pausing when the general gave a smug smile.  _

_ “That’s better…” the General intoned. Link continued to say nothing, for risk of either screaming or choking on the lump in his throat. Grandon continued standing there with his arms crossed as if he wasn’t going to start the spar himself. So Link treaded lightly - carefully - forward until he was in striking distance. Grandon made next to no movement or reaction, and for a stupid moment, Link thought he actually navigated around the general’s superior senses.  _

_ When he swung his sword, Grandon merely reached out and stopped the blade with his own, calloused hand. He sighed desperately, then shook his head, “No wonder you’re over exerting yourself, Link. This blade isn’t even sharp! You Hylians need to learn to take better care of your equipment--” _

_ “Ohhh!” Revali snapped, pulling his legs free to draw his bow and arrow. “TAKE THIS!” _

_ Revali fired off a  _ bomb arrow _ of all things and while Link was yelping and trying to duck out of the way, Grandon merely groaned, “Again, with the announcements…” _

_ He side-stepped out of the way again, and the bomb arrow shook the stadium as it made impact with the solid wall across the way. As Link tucked and rolled to dodge several more of Revali’s impatient attacks, he couldn’t help but scream, “For fuck’s sake, Revali! Don’t kill him!” _

_ “He’s harder to kill than he looks!” Revali snapped back. “I can’t hold back!” _

_ “WHY!?” _

_ “MY PRIDE IS ON THE LINE!?” _

_ “Hylia,” Grandon spat. He moved so quickly, Link’s eyes could barely track him as he spun behind Revali, kneed him in the rips, then used his own bow to put him in a choke hold. “Your impatience and your arrogance will kill you, someday, Bird! Now put those bombs away before you take down this entire stadium.” _

_ Revali writhed under Grandon’s embrace, but eventually dropped his quiver and held his hands up in defeat. Just for good measure, Grandon kicked the quiver and all stray arrows out of the way before he released Revali, letting the bird drop to the ground. By this point, Grandon’s amused grin had dropped into a scowl as he walked over to Link and ordered, “Get up and sheath your sword.” _

_ “But--” _

_ “Get up,” Grandon said again, and Link wasn’t about to let him say it a third time. Once Link was on his feet, Grandon about-faced and began walking towards the barracks underneath the stadium where the weapons’ stores and prep rooms hid. Link watched him in confusion, wondering for a moment if he was just going to leave them there. But of course, Grandon was just pissed and holding his tongue, for the next thing Link knew, the old man was barking more orders: “Don’t just stand there! On your feet!” _

_ Link and Revali both jumped to attention, exchanged nervous glances, and followed him. As they approached the rear end of the stadium, he could hear the echoing chatter of children up above.  _

_ “Oh no!” a shrill little voice cried, “Are they in trouble?” _

_ “Ohhhh yeah! Grandpa’s PISSED!” _

_ “Sidon!” _

_ “Sorry, Dad!”  _

_ “Why is he so mad?” _

_ “They didn’t put up much of a fight and they don’t seem to be getting along really well. Those are Grandpa’s two pet peeves.” _

_ “Ohhhh….” _

_ “Hey, it’s okay, Reba! He’s gonna teach them now! Except I don’t think he wants us eavesdropping so he’s taking them to a secret room!”  _

_ “Oh, okay…” _

_ Link wanted to throw up.  _

_ “Okay,” Revali sighed, once the doors closed behind them both. “What is this all about?” _

_ “Do you want to know why I challenged you both to this training?” Grandon asked sternly. Link and Revali glanced nervously at each other. _

_ “Because we suck?” Link blurted, without even realizing he had spoken. Grandon shook his head with yet another sigh. _

_ “You, Link, are a young young man with far too much on your shoulders,” Grandon explained. “But that still does not change the fact that you bear the mark of a Hero and the responsibility of drawing the Fabled Blade.” _

_ “And he will!” Revali spat suddenly. “He’s strong! He can do it!” _

_ “Yes, but brute strength alone will not prove your worth,” Grandon explained. “The Master Sword is the physical manifestation of a guardian which protects the Triforce. In order to wield it, you must be just, balanced. Humble! And you, Revali, are one of the appointed Champions. Your efforts alone must represent a single - balanced - point on the triforce that will aid both Link and Princess Zelda. And yet you two are competing over each other. There is no balance here! So I ask you this: what the  _ hell _ is going on?” _

_ “I--” Link blinked in confusion, glancing over at Revali who wore an equally baffled glance. “I don’t know--” _

_ “Why should it matter?” Revali shook his head. “Link’s the Hero, he’ll draw the sword, and save the damn day! End of story!”  _

_ “And yet, you simultaneously undersell your role while gloating about your prowess and challenging his own abilities,” Grandon pointed out. “Boys, I’m not here to be a relationship counselor, but I cannot tolerate brothers in arms that refuse to collaborate.” _

_ “Brothers,” Revali snapped, shaking his head. “You, Old Man, clearly know nothing of me.” _

_ “Revali,” Link tried to pause him.  _

_ Revali seemed to brush the comment off altogether. “But I must also ask: how in the hell are you able to dodge….everything?!” _

_ “Oh, well, that is one of the best kept secrets of the Zora,” Grandon explained, putting his own weapons away. “Probably even better kept than our vows of love and marriage. The power of Instinct is something only a Shark Zora can learn from their parents. But when harnessed properly, any Shark worth his salt could be blinded and pregnant and still fully capable of slaying his enemies and defending his territory.” _

_ “Okaaay?” Revali shook his head, unamused. “So how do we harness this...Instinct?” _

_ Chuckling, Grandon shook his head, “My boy, Instinct is not something that any person can develop. At least the Instinct that my kind possesses. Now, if you are interested in developing your own senses...I can help with that.” _

_ “Do you…” Link fought to get the words out, “Think it’ll help me draw the sword?” _

_ “I do,” Grandon nodded. “But before I can teach you to identify and respond to what’s around you, I think you boys both need to identify and respond to what’s in your heart.” _

_ Link nearly choked on his own spit when he and Revali both gaped, “HUH!?” _

* * *

The minute Dad fucked up, Nami saw herself out the door. 

Which is to say, she woke up to the feeling of Dad’s heart pounding very very fast. As she stretched and opened her eyes, she heard him drop the bomb: “Do you love me more than Revali?”

Nami sat up quicker than Dad could pull his foot out of his mouth. Both her parents froze and looked up at her as she swung her legs out and hopped off of Dad’s back. Geez, did they have to keep pretending that nothing was wrong when she was around? She’d read the love stories. She knew this would happen if her dads started dating  _ after _ they adopted her! She wasn’t blind to this kind of stuff! She knew they’d be fine, she just also liked the drama and wanted to eat popcorn while this all unfolded! That was all! 

“I--” Dad covered his lips with his hand, “Link, I’m so sorry I--Nami, did you sleep well!?”

“Mmmm,” Nami squinted a little bit, “You guys aren’t gonna let me watch, are you….”

“W-watch what?” Dad’s heart was  _ flying _ out of his chest, she could tell. 

“Yeah, I figured,” Nami sighed, “Can I go bug Purah?”

“I--we should ask her first--”

“I think that’s a great idea!” Papa interjected suddenly, his scowl as foul as his sudden mood shift. Yep. Time to go. 

“Kaaaay!” Nami hopped off the bed and flew down the stairs. “I love you guys, I’ll be back--and Papa be nice to Dad! He gave you a break yesterday!” 

Before Papa could turn any of his strangled noises into actual words, Nami pulled 30 rupees out of his wallet and bolted out the door. As she trotted down the steps, Nami felt the same, sick prickly feeling in her chest as she did when Dad or Papa were upset. And ohhhh  _ boy, _ were they upset. Part of her wondered if she needed to turn around and remind them that she wasn’t... _ actually _ upset that they were arguing. She just needed to go find someone who was more experienced than she was. 

So...no, Nami wasn’t going to Purah’s, she was going to Naboo’s. 

“Nabooooo!” Nami called out as she knocked on the door. “My dads are having a gay crisis agaaaain!” 

She waited, patiently tapping on the door until the tall Gerudo woman finally answered the door. As a natural night owl, Naboo was far from awake as her hair stood on ends in the bun pulled to the top of her head. “Minami, honey, do your parents know where you are?”

“Yes!” Nami stood on her tippy toes in defiance. “Well! They know I’ll be back! I told them I was going to Purah’s.”

“To--” Naboo blinked the sleep out of her eyes a couple of times, shaking her head. “Then--Nami, if you said you’re going to Purah’s, why are you here?”

“Becaaaaause,” Nami giggled as she swayed side to side, “I need help! My dads are having a gay crisis!”

“Seven Heroines,” Naboo rolled her eyes, opening the door a little wider. “They’re always having a crisis.”

“Yeaaah, but this might be a big one!” Nami explained, throwing her hands in the air as she trotted inside. She helped herself to a seat in the kitchen that Naboo’s small house opened up to, plopping down in spite of the Gerudo woman’s confused sputters. “I think my Papa was married before!”

“He was  _ married?” _ Naboo gasped, any and all argument leaving her as she slid into the seat across the table.  _ “Vehvi, _ you can’t drop that bombshell on me and not give the details! What happened?”

“I don’t know everything, but…” Nami couldn’t keep her grin at bay as she spun around in the little chair. “Papa was in love with a Rito named Revali over a hundred years ago. But he died. And then Papa almost died. And then Papa woke up with no memories. So--well, you heard their whole thing before they started dating.”

“I bore witness to it,” Naboo smacked her hand to her face. “Trust, me, Kid, you don’t want to know what I walked in on.”

Nami paused her thought train to look up specifically at the memory floating behind the Gerudo’s eyes. Nami had met Naboo a few times since Dad and Papa started dating. Apparently, she and Dad made good friends the first time Dad came to visit Hateno. She went with him and Papa to some kind of party for Papa’s birthday. Dad wasn’t too big on giving Nami the details, but he and Naboo had been buddies ever since. 

Also, Naboo was really pretty, she basically had an army of girlfriends, and Nami wanted to know how she could get that but with dads. She wanted an army of dads. Which meant that Dad and Papa needed an army of boyfriends. 

But still, Nami couldn’t help but blink a couple of times, “....what’d you walk in on?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” Naboo sighed. 

“But I can keep a secret!”

“I’ll--let me put it this way, I’ll tell you when you and your dad have had... _ The Talk,” _ Naboo reiterated.

“That doesn’t make sense,” Nami squinted a little, “Dad and I talk all the time. Me and Papa too, just with our hands.”

“N-no--it’s a specific kind of talk, Nami,” Naboo threw her hands up. 

“Like the sex talk?” Nami all but shouted in the midst of her curiosity. “It’s okay, we had that in school last month, and then my friend Tumbo panicked because he’s gay and didn’t know how things changed for him so then Dad had to tell his dad - Fronk - how gay sex works with Hylians and other Zora. I dunno why there was such a big deal about other Zora because...isn’t it like  _ all the same _ for us?”

“Honey, I don’t know, I’ve never dated a Zora,” Naboo was rubbing her temples in frustration. “And your kind likes to keep tight-lipped about these things I didn’t even--is it  _ normal _ for Zora men to have two dicks?”

Nami nodded her head, “And girls have one! That’s what my teacher said!”

Naboo muttered something under her breath in Gerudo as she shook her head, but then promptly dropped the subject by asking, “So anyway: your Papa? Dated a Rito? Spill!”

“Well, so Papa doesn’t remember everything,” Nami explained, becoming fixated in the wood grain of the table as she did so. She couldn’t help but trace her little claw along one of the fine lines while she spoke. “And...it’s hard to explain but I think Papa’s falling in love with Revali all over again. Like one of the main characters did in a book I read. Except he’s also dating Dad. And I can tell he still loves Dad a  _ lot. _ But he’s having a hard time with that? And so is Dad? But like--Naboo, you have a bunch of different girlfriends and you love them all equally too, right?”

“I do,” Naboo nodded her head with a sigh. She relaxed a little, though her frown seemed intent when she reached forward to take Nami’s hand. “I’m sorry you’re caught up in this mess, honey. It’s--it is entirely possible for Link to love this Revali guy as much as he loves Sidon. And in the same way too. But...I don’t know if  _ Sidon _ will be okay with this. I mean...this kind of thing takes a lot - and I mean a  _ lot _ \- of communication. It’s even harder with a child involved and--I’m sorry again, honey.”

“Don’t be, I put myself in the middle on purpose!” Nami announced with a grin. That only seemed to confuse Naboo more. “What? I want an army syndicate of dads.”

Naboo stared at Nami in confusion, blinking several times as if that news was strange to her. 

“So,” Nami was kicking her feet in the silence. “Do you think you can help them, Naboo? What should they do? I think Dad will be okay as long as he knows that Papa still loves him and doesn’t want to be with anyone else - especially because...well, Revali’s  _ dead _ \- but I don’t think Papa’s doing a good job of explaining that and I don’t think Dad realizes that you can love lots of people at the same time.”

“Most people don’t,” Naboo shook her head. “And honestly? I don’t...I don’t really know how either of them will handle this--”

“That’s why I want your help!” Nami pleaded. “Please, Naboo! I don’t want them to keep getting hurt over this.”

“Well--okay, but I can’t come over today,” Naboo admitted, rising to her feet. “At least not until this evening. I--uh--have some  _ company _ over.”

“Oh? What kind of company?” Nami asked, feeling her tail wag as Naboo walked over to where she sat. 

“Ahhhh one of my girlfriends but she--she’s a rather  _ private person,” _ Naboo explained, and Nami was vaguely aware of the fact that she was being ushered back out of the house. Awww! But she had just gotten there! 

“Can I meet her?” Nami asked, trying to spin back around. “Please?”

“Later,” Naboo insisted. “But right now, I need to get ready--I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Mmmmm, but Naboo--” Nami started, but she paused when the door opened to Naboo’s room suddenly. Whipping her head around, Nami gasped in complete and utter delight when she saw the blonde, Hylian woman stepping out in a Gerudo-sized pajama shirt. 

“Nami, you need to go!” Naboo spat quickly, trying to push Nami out the door, but she was already running back into the kitchen. 

“Naboo!” Aunt Zelda called out, still looking a little sleepy, “What’s all the commotion?”

“Aunt Zellie!” Nami announced, running into Zelda’s completely baffled arms. 

“OH!” Zelda jumped, catching Nami, but for some reason she went pale. “Oh my goodness! Minami, I didn’t know you were visiting Hateno this week!”

“It was a last second trip,” Nami giggled, hugging Zelda tightly around the waist. “I didn’t know you were having a sleepover! Did you hear that Naboo has a new girlfriend?”

Zelda stared down at Nami, frozen, with wide green eyes, and it took Nami a second for the pieces to click into place before she squealed: “YOU’RE NABOO’S NEW GIRLFRIEND?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .......honestly, Zelda and Naboo being a Thing was one of the first things I had in the very very back of my mind when I wrote the drunk Hateno chapters of SEPA. But then I never knew how to execute it. It also didn't help that Urbosa's dynamic with Zelda turned from lesbians to maternal. But I couldn't not lean into it. Because Zelda's arc hasn't even been TOUCHED on yet in this story and oooooh let me tell you guys, do I have some PLANS. 
> 
> Anyway! Ahhhh it's been so long since I updated, be sure to comment! And if you haven't fallen in love with Reba yet, what are you waiting for? She's sweeter than HONEY. 
> 
> Lastly, I'm starting to (finally) move to Twitter. I have no tweets, no picture, no nothing at this point. But I DO have a twitter handle, @ObakeAri if you want to give that a follow for all sorts of updates!


	7. The Gays are Fighting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami makes a new friend, Link remembers even more, Sidon tries to keep up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhhhh guys, I went into the last chapter thinking AoC was going to ruin this series. Now I just have more fuel for fire. I'm like...so so close to the end of the game. I can't tell if it's bad writing or not, and at this point I do not care because I am THRIVING and PLEASED with the changes and additions this leaves for THIS fic specifically! 
> 
> Also...the name of the guardian might be a spoiler because I miiiiight have looked that up for my own reference. I'm sorry. But the guardian name is the ONLY potential spoiler I will have in this fic. For now. I will give ample warning for the people who don't want the big BIG spoiler that applies to this story. But that's a few chapters out still. But oh, damn, I'm excited. 
> 
> Lastly, I wish I could say the boys were done fighting and causing problems for themselves but...they're not. They should be over the main hump by the end of this chapter. I mean neither of them are in therapy and they have undiagnosed depression at this point but. They'll actually start communicating.

Amidst Nami’s audible gasping, she vaguely registered Zelda’s intermittent panic. 

“Now, Nami--”

“ARE YOU TWO GONNA GET MARRIED!?” 

“Nami, my delegation doesn’t even know I’m gay!”

“AM I GONNA GET AN ARMADA OF MOMS TOO!?”

“I’m not here to be responsible for crotch goblins,” Naboo snorted, pulling a bottle of some kind of liquor out of a cabinet. 

“Naboo, it’s so early!” Zelda turned to scold. Naboo simply shrugged and took a shot straight out of the bottle. 

“It’s okay, Naboo, you don’t have to be directly responsible for me, I just want an army!” Nami hopped around the table, tugging on Zelda’s hand as she did so. Aunt Zelda, in turn, stared down at Nami’s little blue head and grew pale. 

“I thought it was cute before but...I’m starting to understand why Sidon gets so stressed about this,” she intoned. 

“But Zeldaaaaaaaa!” Nami whined, tugging fervently on her godmother’s hand. “I need an army!”

“Why do you need an army!?” 

“In case of emergencies!” Nami rocked backwards as she continued her tugging. 

“What sort of emergency could  _ possibly _ require you to need an army of parents?!” Zelda pulled back on her hand. 

“In case my dads don’t come home--!” Nami started to admit, caught herself just in time to see Zelda’s stress evolve into more stress, annnnnnnnd then Nami immediately regretted saying anything. Naboo, in turn, slammed her bottle on the counter and looked up at them both.

“Oh wow,” Naboo gasped, her voice low. “Minami, if you...is that how you feel?”

Nami looked from Naboo to Zelda and back, blinked a couple of times in contemplation, then inhaled, “So how’d you two meet?!”

“Oh--Nami, no, you cannot drop that on me and change the subject!” Zelda scolded. “What is going on?”

“Nothiiiing,” Nami whined, feeling her haunches raise a little in defense. She wasn’t the one who changed the subject! Aunt Zelda was the one who pried too hard! Rocking on her heels, Nami started to back out of the house, “I just wanna know how you know each other!” 

“Nami--”

“It’s for research!” Nami blurted. “Also my dads are fighting over Papa’s bird husband and--”

As Nami spun around to continue her prancing, she failed to pay attention to her surroundings. Namely, she failed to pay attention to the little...egg-shaped guardian standing right behind her. Slamming into it, Nami nearly doubled over the thing and fell to the ground. “OW!” 

“Nami!” Naboo and Zelda both gasped. Zelda rushed to Nami’s side, kneeling down to ask, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Nami winced, rubbing her head and her belly from the impact. When she looked back up at the little guardian, its little legs bobbing it up and down, she almost felt like it was….staring at her. Could guardians do that? “What is this thing?”

The guardian, in turn, beeped at her and scurried forward until it was all but in her lap. Nudging Nami, she couldn’t help but giggle and pat it on its little tin head. Zelda sighed, “Oh--that is uh...well, it’s a relic of my childhood, I believe. My father must’ve stored it somewhere in the castle when I was a little girl and it’s been intact this whole time. I found it just the other day and brought it to Hateno to use Purah’s lab to fix it. This little one only booted up just this morning.”

“No, it booted up waaaaaay earlier than this morning,” Naboo rubbed her head. “I felt that thing climbing on me and whistling in my ear until I got out of bed. Thing’s like a damn cat and it’s certainly attached to you.”

“What’s its name?” Nami asked, patting the guardian with a small smile on her face. It kept beeping and nudging her. It was cute! 

At that, Zelda gave a long sigh and a borderline solemn expression when she answered, “Terrako.”

“Awwww! Hi, Terrako!” Nami grinned, feeling her tail wag. “Can I take him to meet Dad and Papa?”

“Ah--” Naboo lurched forward, “If you do, they might realize your aunt’s here, Kiddo.”

“So?” Nami asked, “They’d be happy to see her! And you too, Naboo!” 

“Nami,” Zelda sighed heavily, “If I go see them now, and your dads find out we’re dating….do you honestly believe Prince Sidon can keep his big mouth shut about this?!”

“Mmmmmmm,” Nami hummed in thought. Well...she  _ was _ here to see Naboo because the whole problem was that Dad  _ couldn’t _ keep his big mouth shut so… “Yeah, I get it. Okay! Well...I guess I’ll go back to bug my dads and see if they’re stress cleaning yet. Bye Aunt Zelda! Bye Naboo!”

“Oh--bye, honey!” Zelda waved as Nami turned tail and scampered out of the house. As she closed the door behind her, she could hear Naboo sigh again. 

“That girl is rather...eccentric,” Naboo observed. Nami didn’t know what Naboo meant, so she shrugged and returned to the house. Although, when Nami got halfway home, she heard a series of little beeps behind her and honestly? Nami didn’t mind her new friend tagging along one bit! 

* * *

Sidon had probably scrubbed the kitchen stove three times by this point. 

He fucked up. 

He fucked up big time. 

He hated even more that he didn’t know  _ how _ he fucked up. He had thought it was an honest enough question, to say the least. But the minute Nami scurried out the door and Sidon returned to see such a  _ crushed _ expression on Link’s face….

Were they done for? Was Link going to break up with him over this? 

“Oh hell, I probably deserve it at this point,” Sidon whined to himself, scrubbing the stove even harder. 

Before he could sink even deeper into his depression, the door swung wide open startling Sidon to the point of hitting his head on the ceiling. In spite of seeing her dad writhing on the floor, Nami cheered, “I’m baaaaaaack!” 

“Heavens!” Sidon gasped, “Nami, you scared me!” 

“Sorry,” Nami frowned, “But I made a friend!” 

Sidon squinted a little at that as he sat back up. Nami had made friends with nearly every resident in this village by this point. She’d been here only one other time before this and she still managed to make friends with  _ everybody _ already. Who hadn’t she…?

To answer Sidon’s question, a teeny tiny little guardian stepped in the door behind her. Something primal within Sidon stirred at the sight. Something primal relating to over a century of fighting off such bastards and watching his best friend die in his arms over one had the proud Zora prince crossing the distance to pull Nami  _ away _ from that thing. “MINAMI!” 

“Ow! Dad!” Nami shrieked, “It’s okay! He’s nice!” 

Sidon couldn’t help but growl as he backed away from the little guardian. But the... _ thing _ only continued staring it’s big blue oculus up at him. It took all of two steps forward before it made a pitiful little beeping sound like it wanted its friend back, bobbing as it did so. 

“What--” Sidon gasped, “What the hell is that thing?”

“Dad, that’s Terrako,” Nami sighed. “I was  _ going _ to say that Aunt Zelda made him! He’s friendly!” 

“Aunt--” Sidon shook his head in disbelief, “Aunt Zelda’s in town?”

At that, Nami grew suspiciously quiet. “....no.”

“Minami--”

“She found it in her castle and sent it to Purah to have it fixed! That’s why it’s here!” Nami threw her hands up. “That’s all!” 

As if to back up her claims, Terrako bounced a little with another beep, a few little plates pushing outwards in what seemed to be excitement. As Sidon scowled down at the thing amidst his heart palpitations, he vaguely wondered if situations like this would build up into an eventual heart attack. That would be just his luck, honestly. 

In spite of his panic, Nami seemed completely unbothered by the little egg-shaped  _ thing _ as she tried wriggling out of his arms. “Daaaaad! Let me go! I just wanted to introduce you to him! He’s okay!” 

“Eehhhhhh,” Sidon whined, taking a side step as Terrako hopped in his direction again with an indignant beep. Wow he hated this. “Go--go get your father!”

“You gotta set me down first,” Nami crossed her arms while hanging halfway out of his. 

“Ahhhhhhhh,” Sidon whined again. Terrako was bouncing and beeping more insistently while pacing around him. Why did she have to bring home a guardian? Why couldn’t it have been a dog!? Or even a wolf!? He’d take a wolf over this thing any day! “LIIIIIIIINK!”

“He’s out chopping wood,” Nami pointed out. “Dad--seriously, put me down!” 

“I’m not comfortable with this thing in our house!” Sidon cried out. “LINK! I’M SORRY I’M A BAD BOYFRIEND BUT PLEASE HELP!” 

“DAD!” Nami patted Sidon firmly on the snout. “Terrako’s fine! He’s just upset because you won’t put me down!”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW!?” Sidon was now hiking a leg up onto the counter trying to get away from the fucking thing. It was so small, he could probably step on it, why was he so anxious?

Oh right - because a  _ fucking guardian was in his boyfriend’s house!  _ That was why! 

To make matters worse, by the time Sidon was shrieking like a banshee and all but standing on the counter with the side of his face pressed against the ceiling, Link slid into the doorway with his woodcutter’s axe in hand. “For fuck’s sake what are you--WHY IS THERE A GUARDIAN IN MY HOUSE!?” 

“PAPA, HE’S FINE!” Nami screamed. 

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!” Link shrieked, charging without second thought. Sidon screamed when he saw Link raise his axe. He all but fainted when Nami wriggled her way out of his arms to jump in front of the guardian. He practically blacked out when he had to lunge forward, stop Link’s momentum to avoid cutting down their own daughter, and square up on his  _ own boyfriend _ to shove Link back out of the house because he wasn’t backing down and neither was Nami. “SIDON THAT FUCKING THING HAS OUR DAUGHTER!”

“YOU’LL KILL HER IF YOU SWING THAT AXE, YOU DOLT!” Sidon screamed back. Dammit, if Link wasn’t so strong, Sidon could’ve just easily pulled the axe out of his hands and held it over his head. But no, Link was the strongest Hylian Sidon had ever met and now the bastard was suplexing him. Sidon hit the ground hard, but didn’t allow himself to be stunned. By the time he rolled over to pin Link back to the ground, he wasn’t even sure if they were still fighting over the guardian or not. “LINK, STOP!” 

“THAT THING IS IN MY HOUSE!” 

“OUR DAUGHTER IS PROTECTING THAT THING!”

“WELL SHE SHOULDN’T!”

“I DON’T THINK THAT’S FOR YOU TO DECIDE!” 

“IT’LL KILL HER!” 

“SO WILL YOU IF YOU SWING THAT FUCKING AXE--!” Sidon let out a furious roar as he finally wrestled the axe out of Link’s hands and stood up. Link was lunging to tackle him, knocking him off balance and by the time they just started throwing punches at each other, Terrako was scampering out with a series of nervous beeps. 

“AHA!” Link cried out, spinning around to strike it, but he froze at the follow-up sound of sniffles from inside the house. Sidon froze too, and when he sat up, he saw Nami standing at the doorway with big, puffy eyes and a quivering lip. “Oh--Nami--”

“Why do you guys keep fighting?” Nami bunched her hands up into little fists as Sidon’s heart simultaneously broke. As her sobs escalated, he couldn’t help but stand up and reach for her. When she backed away from him, well, he knew he probably won the award for Worst Father Ever. 

Ikkala was right...he wasn’t fit to raise a child. No wonder she took Nikko away. 

“Minami,” Sidon whimpered, sinking to his knees. “This is--it’s all my fault, I’m sorry--”

“NO!” Nami rubbed her little forearm over her head. “It’s both of your fault! Papa keeps breaking your heart but you keep hurting him too! And I don’t know why because everything was fine before, I had a family again, but now you won’t stop fighting and I don’t know whyyyyy!” 

As Nami continued to sob, Sidon felt completely and utterly helpless. She didn’t deserve this. Link didn’t deserve this. And as Sidon felt like a dark, inescapable void was surrounding his own heart, soft little music pulled him back to reality. Nami stirred a little too, and when she looked up, she discovered little Terrako hovering closely by her. It swayed gently, its beeps and mechanical noises turning into a soft little lullaby. Sidon blinked through his tears, staring at the guardian in disbelief, and gasped, “Is it...singing to you?”

Nami looked up at the little guardian creating music as her tears paused. She stared at it curiously, and slowly her tears turned into curious blinks and then a smile. Rubbing at her eye, she patted the guardian on the head. “Aw...it’s okay.”

As Nami patted the guardian’s head, it started beeping again and spinning in an excited circle. With a sigh, Sidon relented, then stole a glance over to Link who wore an equally guilty expression. 

“I’m…” Link’s voice caught in his throat, so he lifted his hands. “I’m so so sorry.”

“I am too,” Sidon glanced back down on the ground. “Nami, I--I have no excuse for my behavior. I’m just...I’m  _ terrified _ of guardians and--you deserve better from your parents, honey.”

“Yeah,” Link nodded, rising to his feet. “I’m sorry.”

Nami looked wearily up at the both of them and the little guardian turned around to face them as well. The thing made itself like a shield between her and her parents. Wow, Sidon made a horrible mistake. 

He wasn’t fit to be a father. 

Hugging the little guardian, Nami managed the tiniest little smile, “Are you guys gonna talk it out?”

“Hm?” Link grunted. 

“Are you gonna talk out your feelings?” Nami tapped her little claws against the guardian. “It’s like...it’s like you have so many big feelings that you can’t get out.”

“I--” Sidon gasped, looking up to Link. “I suppose that’s true, but I think I owe an apology to your father more than anything.”

“And I need some time to think,” Link stated abruptly, rising to his feet. As Sidon’s heart continued shattering into tiny pieces, Link stood up and went for a walk. 

* * *

_ “--And let’s not forget the fact that I am the most skilled archer among the Rito,” Revali spat, waving his wings about. Link found himself squinting as the damn bird kept blathering. With a sigh, he paced angrily around Link and continued, “Yet despite these truths, it seems that I have been tapped merely to assist you.” _

_ Taking a deep cleansing breath, Link started, “Revali--” _

_ “All because you happen to have that little darkness-sealing sword on your back! I mean, it’s just... _ asinine,” _ Revali scoffed, shaking his head. Before Link could even get a word in edgewise, Revali  _ kept _ talking to himself. What was he pissed about, again? “Unless,” Revali breathed, “You think you can prove me wrong?” _

_ Link pursed his lips, and signed, “Why?” _

_ Revali’s eye twitched as he stepped forward, shoving himself practically into Link’s face in a manner Link hadn’t dealt with in...well, a whole month. “Maybe we should just settle this one on one?” _

_ “What?” Link scoffed, “Revali, no--” _

_ “But where?!” Revali spun back around, looking up to the sky, “Oh! I know! How about up there?!” _

_ Swinging his wing upwards, Revali gestured to the Divine Beast still climbing the sky. Link looked up at Vah Medoh and bit back the urge to break his boyfriend’s beak. What the hell was he pissed about, anyway?!  _

_ “Oh!” Revali spat in Link’s face, “You must pardon me! I forgot you have no way of making it up to that Divine Beast on your own!” Swinging his wings out, Revali took to the sky in a heartbeat, then just to add salt to Link’s confused wounds, he called back, “Good luck sealing the Darkness!”  _

_ As Revali disappeared to...mope up in Vah Medoh, Link stood there, honestly confused as to why in the hell Revali’s feathers were ruffled this time.  _

_ For fuck’s sake, they had just started seeing eye to eye.  _

_ And fucking.  _

_ They were getting along probably because they were fucking.  _

_ “But what did I even do?” Link spoke to himself, still staring up at the Divine Beast. Behind him, he heard the tiniest flutter of wings and a few small chirps. Turning, Link found little Reba standing behind a cluster of pots, peering curiously up at Link. _

_ “Um,” Reba chirped, glancing hesitantly down at her scuffling feet. “If you don’t mind me saying, I think Revi is just upset because he had a date planned for last night.” _

_ “He--” Link blinked several times before signing, “I told him I wouldn’t be here until this morning!” _

_ “I--I know but he got word that the Hylians were ahead of schedule so he….uhm…” as Reba got quiet, Link’s morbid curiosity grew and conquered him. _

_ “Reba,” Link dropped down to a squat to meet her at eye level, “What did he do?” _

_ “He….flew to your base camp to surprise you,” Reba admitted, scuffling her feet on the floor with her talons. “I’m sorry--I’ve said too much!” _

_ As Link felt his face flushing at the thought of what Revali could’ve possibly walked in on, he couldn’t help but lurch forward for the baby bird, “No! It’s okay! Aggggh no, did he say what he overheard? Or saw?” _

_ “No,” Reba shook her head, “But he was sad that he didn’t get to spend time with you. That’s all. He’s really bad about throwing temper tantrums, but I promise he does love you, Link! He--he just has a hard time sharing his big feelings like that.” _

_ Biting back a groan, Link looked back up to the sky where Revali was definitely moping, “Yeah….him and me both.” _

_ “But that’s okay,” Reba chirped. “Even if he’s bad at sharing his feelings, I usually know what he means!”  _

_ “I would hope so,” Link managed a grin. She was a sweet girl, but he hated to admit that kids were not...they weren’t his strong suit.  _

_ Well….Mipha’s little brother would probably argue otherwise but he was different. Link could just hand Sidon a book and he’d entertain himself and Link for about six hours. That didn’t count. Still, Reba looked up to Link with curious green eyes and asked, “How so?” _

_ “Well, you’re his little sister, right?” Link grinned. “You’re the best person to be a Revali translator!” _

_ “UM!” Reba puffed her feathers out and jumped away a little, then looked down nervously at the ground. “Actually….I’m not….uh…” _

_ “Oh,” Link grunted before waving to her so she could see his hands, “It’s okay. Revali told me how he met you. But I know how he feels about you.” _

_ “Yeah...but…” Reba kept clawing at the ground with her talons as she fidgeted with some of her down feathers. “I was actually...he said he was going to adopt me when he was old enough...so I was kind of hoping that instead of a brother...he could be my dad!” _

_ Link….suddenly broke out into a cold sweat, “Y-yeah?” _

_ “Mmhmm,” Reba admitted, then she looked up at Link with big, beautiful eyes that made Link suddenly want to vomit: “And...if you and him stay together….you could be my Papa too?” _

* * *

When Link stormed off to clear his head, Sidon was fairly convinced that Take Two on their date was officially cancelled. 

He also wasn’t entirely sure if he still had a boyfriend. 

Sidon had been groaning to himself on the couch while Nami tossed her ball back and forth between little Terrako, the two happily giggling (and beeping) at each other. Odd...when Nami developed her habit of bringing frogs and other stray animals home, Sidon thought for sure that they’d end up with a dog. Not a...not a  _ guardian. _ Letting out another heavy sigh, Sidon supposed that was just his luck. 

“Daaaad,” Nami tossed her ball promptly at Sidon’s head, pulling him out of his funk with a yelp. “You’re sighing heavily again.”

“I know, I know,” Sidon whined, “I’m sorry, Minnow. I’m just worried about Papa is all.”

“Yeah,” Nami looked down at her ball and held it to her chest. Terrako almost instinctively trotted up to her in apprehension. “He’s got lots and lots of Big Feelings.”

“I’ve just been so selfish,” Sidon shook his head. “And I’m setting a horrible example for you. Don’t--Nami, when you are all grown up and don’t need me anymore--just don’t be like me!” 

“You mean like shrieking on the counter and beating up your boyfriend at cute guardians?” Nami guessed. Sidon bit back another sigh. “Also, Daddy, I’m always going to need you! What are you talking about?”

“I--” Sidon caught himself, then swallowed his own grief back down. “Well...you know. One day you’ll grow up and be all big and strong. You won’t need a goof ball like me hovering over you.”

“Well, maybe,” Nami hummed, then as Sidon continued staring up at the ceiling, he felt her climbing up on top of him with a series of grunts. As Nami clung to his belly to try and pull herself up, Terrako came up under her and pushed her legs the rest of the way. Then Terrako hopped up and propped itself on Sidon while Nami climbed to his chest to pat his face. “But what if I  _ waaaaant _ you hovering over me?”

Though Sidon couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought, he still felt a soft pang of sadness wash over him as she squished his face with her hands, “As much as I love that thought...I’m not so sure.”

“Well, why not?” Nami pouted. 

“Well--you’ll be all grown up. And have your own life...and...well, it’s not like I’m much of a good example--”

“DAAAAAD!” Nami smacked Sidon square in the snout and he felt his tongue stick out on recoil, “Stop beating yourself up! Why do you think you’re a bad Dad?”

“Well--it’s a long story.” 

“I can wait!” Nami announced, crossing her arms. “I’ll hold my breath if I have to!”

“Nami--”

“I mean it!”

“Alright!” Sidon rocked his head back, plucking her off his chest so he could sit up. Terrako hummed and whirled as it scampered around him, and when both settled on Sidon’s lap he first remarked the guardian as increasingly strange, then finally explained, “When I was--before you were even  _ born, _ I...lost someone.”

“Nikko?” Nami guessed. Sidon looked at her in confusion before she explained, “The one we sang Happy Birthday to?”

“Well--yes,” Sidon glanced down with a sigh, “But...more than that...I lost their--his father. Before he was born.”

“Did you love him?” Nami guessed. Sidon nearly leapt out of his scales. 

“What?!” Sidon gasped. “No! He was married!”

“Yeah,” Nami blinked. “Did you love him anyway?”

“He was my best friend!”

“I dunno, that’s what you said about Papa,” Nami hummed, tapping her little claws against his chest. Terrako hummed in agreement as if it was actually  _ there _ when Sidon was dealing with  _ that _ fiasco. 

“I was  _ not _ in love with Vali!” 

“Vali?” Nami perked up suddenly. “Wait--wait wait wait, was he  _ orange?!” _

Sidon grunted a little, “Yes?”

“Did he have a fake leg?!”

_ “Yes?” _ Sidon Sidon grunted again. “Nami, how did you--?”

“My mom had a picture of him in our  _ house _ when I was little!” Nami shot her hands up in the air. “OHHHH! And she said he was totally in love with you!”

“NELA SAID WHAT?!” Sidon recoiled. “Also--how on  _ earth _ do you remember this?! I thought you said you didn’t remember your parents?”

“I dunno! Sometimes I have dreams and stuff, but I remember playing with that picture when I was really little,” Nami was hopping around on his chest by this point. “She said--she said that you and him were like the beeest people and that I should go to you if I ever had any problems! That’s why--that’s why I went up to you that one night! When you were crying?”

“Oh I love that that’s how you remember our first meeting, Little One,” Sidon shook his head sarcastically. Still, he couldn’t hide his amazement. And here he thought she knew next to nothing of her parents. Still...she really  _ did _ know next to nothing about them save for fleeting, specific memories such as this. “But...I’m glad she thought so highly of me.”

“Yeah, so did you love him or not?” Nami bounced on her heels. “Do I have another dad?!”

“NO!” Sidon smacked his hand to his face. “I think we’re missing the point here.” 

“Yeah,” Nami nodded in agreement. “So did you love Vali?”

“I--” Sidon felt like his brain was coming to a screeching halt. 

...Did he? 

“I don’t know,” Sidon gasped, feeling another, heavier weight settle on top of him. Awesome. This was just phenomenal. 

“Well, how come you don’t know?” Nami asked. 

“Because I love your Papa!” Sidon rubbed his hands over his face. “I can’t love anybody else.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know!” 

“Dad, you aren’t making any sense,” Nami pouted, and Sidon could only agree with her. Before the conversation could derail any further, however, Sidon heard a much needed knock on the door. He didn’t know who was there. He just needed someone to distract him. With a sigh, Sidon lifted Nami into his arms and answered the door. To his surprise, he was greeted by a stern-looking Naboo. “Oh! Hello! What brings you here--?”

“My girlfriend said her….egg-thing followed Nami home,” Naboo crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Who, Terrako?” Sidon asked, turning back to a very guilty-looking guardian. Wait, how could guardians look guilty? How could guardians have  _ expressions? _ But more importantly: “I thought Nami was at Purah’s this morning.”

“Oh--” Nami puckered her lips a little and covered her mouth. Sidon gave her a stern glare, but to his complete and utter amazement, Naboo had the gall to cover for her. Oh, so the woman had a soft spot for kids after all! 

“She was,” Naboo said, and Sidon could almost  _ tell _ she was lying. Or maybe he was just paranoid. No, she had that narrow, shifty-eyed gaze she got when she tried to dodge questions about her new Mystery Girlfriend, she was definitely lying. “I just happened to stop by the Lab to drop that thing off for my girlfriend.”

“Ah,” Sidon grunted, unconvinced. As Nami nodded her head emphatically, that all but confirmed that Nami absolutely skipped Purah’s and went to Naboo’s instead. As he side-stepped out of Terrako’s way, he watched the guardian scamper up to Naboo for all of a moment before a secondary thought popped in his head, “Hang on….Nami, didn’t you say that Terrako was  _ Zelda’s?” _

“NO!” Nami blurted, then covered her mouth with that same puckery face as before. When he looked back to Naboo, the Gerudo wore an equally sour expression and she sighed. 

“You know what? I’m tired, I’m gonna go--” Naboo started, but Sidon was invested. 

“Ohhhhhh no, you don’t!” Sidon shimmied around the doorway to stop Naboo in her tracks. “You’re dating Zelda, aren’t you!”

“Listen, here, Tiger--”

“I’m a shark and Zelda’s your girlfriend!” Sidon cheered, pointing squarely at Naboo with a wagging tail, “Oh I  _ knew _ something was fishy when you said she had exact dimensions for my blanket! Oh that’s wonderful!!” 

“DUDE!” Naboo was clamping her hand over his mouth, “The reason we haven’t said anything is because  _ you _ cannot say anything! She doesn’t want this getting out!”

“Why not?” Sidon asked, his voice muffled by her hand against his lips, “You’re quite the charmer of a woman and--”

“Crown Princess, yet to be coronated, Biggoted Hyrule,” Naboo listed with a firm gaze. “Please. Just...just keep it to yourself for now, okay?”

“O-okay,” Sidon relented, frowning as Naboo removed her hands. Compartmentalizing his own turmoil like a champ, Sidon took a wide left turn to Naboo’s love life with his next question, “When do you two plan on announcing it?”

At that, Naboo deflated suddenly, which was  _ very _ odd for her. Of anyone Sidon had ever meant, Naboo was the definition of confidence. If anything, she was largely responsible for Sidon’s growth in being comfortable with himself! So to see her so….sad looking worried him all the more. “I...don’t actually know.”

“Why not?”

“You’re sounding like your daughter,” Naboo snapped, giving Sidon a side-eyed glare. Sidon clamped his mouth shut while Nami stifled her laughter. But still, Naboo sighed and admitted, “She says after she’s coronated but….I still have no idea when that’s going to be.”

“Oh dear,” Sidon frowned. “That must be hard.”

“We’ve...we’ve been dating for over a month now,” Naboo crossed her arms. “I--we met at the party King Dorephan threw at the Domain. Since I was in town helping Celia trade her mom’s goods, we got an invite. And...I just happened to bump into Zelda, we hit it up, and honestly, I had no idea she was  _ the _ Princess Zelda until Celia said something about it. She was dressed so casually for a Princess.”

“Yes, I rather liked the little sun dress she wore for the occasion but--” Sidon shook his head, “So your wife  _ does _ know about this?”

“Of course she does!” Naboo threw her arms out. “And she’s pissed that Zelda’s trying to keep this so under wraps.”

“Oh…” Sidon glanced down at the ground. Well….he could relate to both parties, he hated to say it. “And how do you feel about that?”

“How do you think I feel, Sidon?” Naboo snapped. “I’m hurt, but I understand, but I sometimes feel like she’s ashamed of me? Like--who else stumbles upon a century-old Princess, gets a date with her, and then can’t talk about it?! Did I pressure her into this relationship? Does she not want it?”

“Now, hang on,” Sidon pressed his free hand to Naboo’s shoulder. “I know Zelda better than most. She’s stubborn as an ox and one of the most particular people I have ever met. But she is genuine in her feelings and she is kind. She would not play with your heart in such a way, Naboo. At least not intentionally.”

Naboo glanced up at Sidon through her eyelashes, “...you think so?”

“I know so,” Sidon smiled, “In fact, as a fellow monarch, I can imagine that her hesitation comes from the fact that Hyrule is just that biggoted. Her father wasn’t very accepting of her when he found out and...well, I imagine she is fearful of her identity being cause for Hyrule wanting to overthrow her before she is Queen.”

“But Hyrule is different now,” Naboo shook her head, “I--it’s so much better than it used to be, even from when I was a little girl.”

“And I’m sure Zelda sees that, she just….she and I were brought up in very different environments,” Sidon explained. “It will take some time for her to get over that. That and...I fear that internally, Hyrule is not as progressive as we outsiders seem to believe. At least with the anxiety Zelda has shared with me in the past.”

“That...makes sense,” Naboo looked down again. “I don’t know...it’s all so complicated.”

“Yeah, so speaking of complicated,” Nami interjected suddenly. “Can you explain to my dad why it’s okay to be in love with multiple people?”

“Huh?” Naboo looked up at Nami while Sidon cursed himself internally. “So what did you say that caused this blowout anyway?”

“I didn’t say any--”

“He asked Papa if he loved his dead bird husband more than him,” Nami blurted. Sidon wanted to die. 

Naboo stared at Sidon for several very  _ long _ moments, then sighed, “Yeah, I’m coming inside, you need a lesson in how these types of relationships work.”

* * *

_ Only a few weeks before her seventeenth birthday, Zelda was outed. _

_ They didn’t know who was responsible. Only that King Rhoam now stood, furious in the throne room, the General at his right hand, and Link was helpless to kneel in place and watch as the situation unfolded.  _

_ “It has come to my attention that - in addition to you avoiding your duty - you have been...distracted,” he stated simply. In front of Link, he could see Zelda visibly trembling.  _

_ “But Father,” Zelda took in a shaky breath, “I--” _

_ “I do not want your excuses!” Rhoam roared. “This is unacceptable as a Monarch! This is treachery as vile as a Gerudo!” _

_ “But Urbosa is a Gerudo!” Zelda spat back, “How could you say such horrible things in her presence, Father?!”  _

_ “Little Bird--” Urbosa whispered under her breath, but she was hushed when the King started laying into his daughter more.  _

_ “I do not need you to be speaking back to me when you have brought such  _ shame _ to this bloodline!” King Rhoam snarled back. “Do you know what the people are saying about you because of this?! Because of this and your apparent inability to awaken your powers? This is disgraceful!”  _

_ “I’m--” Zelda’s shoulders were trembling. Link honestly just wanted to cry for her. “I’m sorry, Father--” _

_ “SILENCE!” King Rhoam waved his hand. Catching himself, he shook his head and sighed, “Just--get out of my sight. I’m done with you.” _

_ Zelda nodded her head, and when she turned back around, she marched squarely out of the Throne Room. Urbosa was quick to rise and go after her, but the king stopped all the champions. “But I am not done with any of you.” _

_ Link and the others froze. Beside him, he could feel Revali tense. This wasn’t about to be good.  _

_ “Wh-what is it, Your Highness?” Mipha asked, rising to her feet to meet him. Oh, this was not about to be good.  _

_ King Rhoam eyed Mipha skeptically, but said nothing. Instead, the king asked, “Who is it?” _

_ “Pardon?” Mipha asked.  _

_ “Who is the one that bewitched my daughter?” King Rhoam ordered. “Tell me--Urbosa! Do you know?!”  _

_ “If I knew, I would not say,” Urbosa bit under your breath. “Unfortunately, this was the one topic you and your wife  _ never _ agreed upon and my loyalties stay with her. Sire.” _

_ “You  _ do _ realize what you are saying?” Old Man Geoff grunted suddenly. “And who you are saying it to?” _

_ “Oh, I do,” Urbosa rose to her feet as well, crossing her arms. “And as the Chief of the Gerudo, I do hope you know who you are speaking to. Unlike the others, I rule an independent Kingdom. I only bow out of courtesy. Not when I am disrespected like this. So shut your trap, General!”  _

_ “You WENCH,” Old Man snapped, and honestly Link wanted to throttle him.  _

_ “I’m surprised you’re even related to him,” Revali barked under his breath suddenly, Link only shook his head.  _

_ “I would watch your tongue around the Chief, General,” King Rhoam sighed. Though he sounded level-headed, he was clearly unhappy. “Unfortunately, as long as Vah Naboris is in the Gerudo’s hands, there is very little we can do to contest her.” _

_ “Unfortunately--” Urbosa balked. “King Rhoam, what on earth has gotten into you!?” _

_ “My daughter has committed blasphemy, you all seemed to have known about it, and are intent on keeping it a secret!” King Rhoam retorted, “That’s what! Now as King of Hyrule, I order you to tell me who bewitched my daughter! NOW!” _

_ “You speak as if your daughter and...whoever this mystery woman is did so out of malice,” Revali grunted. Ohhhhh, this was not about to be good.  _

_ “Hey, Revali--” Daruk grunted, sensing the tension. “I wouldn’t get into this, if I were you, not with your Big Day coming up and--” _

_ “Daruk, please,” Revali scoffed. “I’m tired of tiptoeing around this subject and I’m tired of Hyrule being so caught up in preening itself that it refuses to acknowledge anyone who's different as a person! There is nothing wrong with your daughter, Your Highness. Claiming she is behaving as a Gerudo should be a compliment! The Late Queen would’ve said as much!”  _

_ “Revali--” Link hissed at him again.  _

_ “You have a lot of nerve,” the Old Man scoffed. “Speaking to our King as if you’re gay yourself.” _

_ “Well, I am,” Revali snapped suddenly, and all Champions turned to him. Link felt his stomach drop and even Mipha looked about ready to smack him. As both the Old Man’s and the King’s eyes widened in disgust, Revali scoffed again and crossed his arms, “What? Are you going to send me away too? Shun me? Have me hung or something? Because you’ll be without a Champion if you do! You need me. And you hate me and everything that I represent. So you’ll probably have me done away with as soon as this is all over. Well, I don’t care! Because there is nothing wrong with me, your daughter, or my fiance! And there is nothing you can do to harm us more than you already have!”  _

_ “REVALI!” All Champions, Link included shouted. Urbosa was the one who shook her head and scolded, “Seven Heroines, Revali, your wedding is right around the corner and I would like to see you  _ alive _ for it.” _

_ “Well, I’m sorry, these two are pricks and up each other's asses,” Revali pointed square at the  _ king _ and Link’s father.  _

_ “You’re an asshole,” Link blurted suddenly, standing to his feet as the situation derailed further. “You are literally the biggest asshole I have ever met.” _

_ “Oh, come on, you were thinking it too,” Revali rolled his eyes, gesturing his wings high in the sky. “We were all thinking it! I’m just the one with enough gall to say it!” _

_ “Revali, you are literally back-talking the King and my father!”  _

_ “Who gives a rip about your father?!”  _

_ “LINK!” Dad barked suddenly. Link shot up pin straight to attention, his voice leaving him. Instead of meeting a heated gaze, he was met with confusion. “....how are you talking?” _

_ “I--” Link stuttered, but his voice left him once more.  _

_ “You were just talking,” Dad pointed out to him again, “How?! Why to  _ him?!  _ He’s--he’s vile, he’s--” _

_ “Gay,” Link finally breathed. And just because he couldn’t take it anymore, he blurted, “And I’m gay too! And I’m his fiance and we’re all fucking gay!”  _

_ “You can’t be serious,” King Rhoam gasped. “Was it you?” _

_ “Huh?” Revali and Link blurted out together.  _

_ “Who bewitched my daughter,” King Rhoam blinked, looking as if he had been betrayed. “Were you the ones who let her think this behavior was okay?” _

_ “It is okay, but...no,” Revali crossed his arms. “She has no idea. The only ones who knew about us were the other three Champions. We didn’t even know about her.” _

_ “That...that can’t be--you must be lying, why would you all do such a thing?” King Rhoam shook his head.  _

_ “Your Highness,” Urbosa sighed heavily. “These boys are idiots, but they have nothing but the best of intentions when it comes to your daughter’s well-being. As do we all who are here in this room. But you need to stop and think for five seconds. Right now, while you are holding us hostage, you have sent Zelda away and she could be literally anywhere by this point. She could be in danger.” _

_ At that, King Rhoam’s eyes flickered slightly, “She wouldn’t leave the castle.” _

_ “Really?” Urbosa rolled her eyes, “Do you not know your daughter?” _

_ King Rhoam stood there, brooding in silence as he stared at each of the Champions. Biting back a heavy sigh, his eyes fell to Link, “This discussion is not over. But I do ask of you...go fetch my daughter. Make sure she has not wandered too far.” _

_ At that, Link let go of the breath he had been holding and nearly took off after Zelda. That girl...by this point, she would have definitely made it past the city gates if she was upset enough. Hyrule Field had also gotten so much more dangerous lately.  _

_ The minute his back turned, however, his father paused him, “Link.” _

_ “Not, now Dad--” _

_ “I’m not your father anymore.” _

_ Link skidded to a halt, and Revali skidded with him. When Link paused long enough to turn back to his father, he found that same distant and cold gaze he always did. But this time, his father almost looked relieved. “You’re not my son. You disgust me.” _

_ “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Revali prattled, putting a winged hand around Link’s shoulder to turn him back around. Link allowed his back to face Geoff. It at least made it easier to hide the heartbreak that threatened to seep through. “Good luck passing that one over your wife--” _

_ “My wife will never see that disgrace again,” Geoff declared. “You are not allowed in Hateno Village again. You are not allowed near my wife. So stay out of my sight before I kill you both.” _

_ “Ha!” Revali scoffed, pushing Link out of the Throne Room, “I’d like to see you try!”  _

_ As Link was all but shoved away from his father by the other Champions, he heard King Rhoam falter, “General...don’t you think that is a little harsh? He is your son--” _

_ “He is disgusting, My King. If he didn’t bear the Master Sword, I would’ve hoped you’d have him executed,” Geoff stated simply. “I’m surprised you don’t feel the same.” _

_ “But--” the King started, but the doors closed behind them, cutting the rest of the conversation off. Before Link had realized he was hyperventilating, Revali and Mipha had all but thrown him out of the castle itself.  _

_ “Breathe, Link,” Mipha encouraged, pulling them around the corner to sit him down.  _

_ “You two take care of him,” Urbosa ordered, “Daruk and I will go look for the Princess. Just...join us when you can.” _

_ “Of course, Urbosa!” Mipha called back. As they took off, Link saw a flurry of obsidian scales cross his vision. _

_ “Princess?” Bazz asked. “Is...everything okay?” _

_ “He’s hyperventilating, what do you think?” Revali snapped. Bazz grimaced, giving Revali a cross look. “Also, she hates it when you call her ‘Princess’!”  _

_ “REVALI!” Mipha flushed, and Link had enough clarity of mind to punch his fiance in the arm.  _

_ “What?! Someone had to say it!” _

_ “You’ve been saying a lot, today!” Link finally snapped.  _

_ “Oh thank Hylia, you’re talking,” Revali visibly relaxed. “Listen, Link--” _

_ “He disowned me!” Link threw his hands up. “Zelda’s Hylia-Knows-Where, I’m fucked, and--fine, I don’t care about my old man but--Revali, I’m never going to see my mom again!”  _

_ “Yes, you will Link--” _

_ “NO I WON’T!” Link screamed, trying to push Revali away through his tears. “He banned me from Hateno, Revali, my mom won’t--I won’t even get to invite her to the wedding!” _

_ “Link,” Revali planted his hands on Link’s shoulders. “You honestly think I’ll let us get married before you get a chance to talk to Clara?” _

_ Link stared up at him, confused, but then Revali had to go soft on him suddenly by pressing his forehead against Link’s. “It’ll be fine, Link.” _

_ “H-how do you know?” Link asked.  _

_ “Because,” Revali smirked, “we all know how much time Geoff  _ actually _ spends at home in Hateno. We’ll just break the rules and fly in when he’s up here kissing Rhoam’s ass.”  _

* * *

As Link came out of yet another flashback, the God Statue sighed heavily. 

_ Are you done moping yet? _

“NO!” Link cried out. He wasn’t done moping! Of course he wasn’t! He fucked up! He--he shouldn’t have agreed to be a dad. He couldn’t be a dad. He wasn’t good with kids he was lying to himself he--

He was going to hurt Nami the same way Geoff had hurt him.

He was--he was going to hurt Nami the same way he hurt  _ Reba-- _

“Oh, Hylia,” Link coughed up a sob as he ducked his head. The statue sighed again. 

_ I wouldn’t be praying to her, if I were you… _

Link ignored the statue and continued to wallow in his own grief. He would have stayed there all night, probably, had it not been for the approaching footsteps. Link forced his eyes open, and when he found the red, webbed feet standing before him, he only cried harder.

“Link,” Sidon gasped, kneeling down, “Link, it’s okay--”

“NO IT’S NOT!” Link swatted him away as he cried. “Sidon, I fucked up! I--I’ve hurt you and I’ve hurt Nami and I’m just going to keep hurting you both and--!”

“LINK!” Sidon grabbed hold of Link’s shoulders, forcing him to look up at him. When he did, Sidon gently pressed his forehead to Link’s and began purring softly. “It’s going to be okay. I’m here.”

Link could only continue to sob, “You shouldn’t be--I’m--I’m horrible, Sidon!”

“Shhhh,” Sidon hushed him, “What did you remember?”

Hiccuping, Link couldn’t take the agony anymore as he buried his face in Sidon’s shoulder, “My own father--he--he disowned me, Sidon!”

“Oh,” Sidon blinked, “That’s why you wanted to change the house--Link, I am  _ so sorry--” _

“I hurt Reba!” Link continued to sob, clinging to Sidon for dear life. “Your friend--your friend when you were a kid--she--when Revali adopted her, she wanted me to be her dad and I wouldn’t do it! I broke her heart, Sidon! I wouldn’t do it! I didn’t want to hurt her but I did anyway because I wouldn’t do it!” 

“Reba--” Sidon gasped, his arms hugging Link tighter. “Oh Hylia, you were the other parent she always talked about.”

“Oh Hylia!” Link sobbed. “Sidon, I’m so sorry, I’m a terrible father! I don’t deserve you! Or Nami! Or anyone!” 

“Link, it’s--” Sidon started, but his words of reassurance started to falter. Instead, he could only hold Link and rock him while he all but sobbed himself to a deep, slumbering state of unconsciousness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise they'll actually start communicating. 
> 
> Also, at some point we're gonna have to find out what happened to Reba. I love her. Call me self indulgent with all these cute kid OC's, but in my defense Reba was my beta's idea. She's Alex's fault.


	8. Big Feelings Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link and Sidon finally talk out their big feelings. While they go on their much needed date, Bazz stands post in the Domain while reflecting on a source of his perpetual emotional constipation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me 3 months ago: "Link's Fabulous Flashback Montage is just gonna be a dumb 10 chapter fic at MOST about how Link is an idiot and his boys love him regardless."
> 
> Me now, after playing through Age of Calamity: "Link's Fabulous Flashback Montage is going to set up some hella LORE and give me a chance to introduce some BOMB ASS CHARACTERS who won't show up for a WHILE regardless and AoC is just the thing I freaking need and I don't care that this means I have to go back and rewrite the beginning of FGA a third time and make edits to SEPA when I said I wasn't gonna do that!"
> 
> .....it's a good thing I love writing, y'all. Also, I do wanna apologize for sporadic updates again. I'm like...dragging my ass to the finish line of this semester and I just want winter break to be here and I straight up had to take a mental health day off work just to get my life caught up. It's fine. We're all fine. And we're out of most of the Big Sad! Yaaaay! 
> 
> enjoy!

When Link came to, he was wrapped tightly in Sidon’s arms, his boyfriend reverberating through his deep rumbles. Blinking into awareness, Link lifted his head to find that Sidon had fallen asleep partly upright, his head leaned up against the corner of the bed. A pang settled in Link’s chest as he whimpered, clutching Sidon’s ascot - he hadn’t even taken his armor off! - tightly. Downstairs, he heard Nami shuffling around in the kitchen filling up her water cup as part of her midnight routine. When she trotted back up the stairs to curl up in bed with her dads, Link managed to croak, “What’re you doing up?”

“Got thirsty,” Nami answered, crawling up onto Sidon’s rumbling chest, “And I wanted to cuddle.”

Link felt another twinge in his chest and stinging eyes as he watched his little girl yawn and snuggle up close to him. Brushing his hand across his fin, he could only whimper, “I’m sorry, Kiddo.”

“Papaaaaa,” Nami hummed, nuzzling him as she started her own set of purrs, “You’re a great Papa. Stop being so mean to yourself…”

Link bit back a sob as Nami’s trilled herself back to sleep, and honestly it was all he could do to hold her and let Sidon hold him until the prince ultimately stirred with the rising sun. As Sidon let out a tiny little snort and groaned, Link tried to shift so he could sit up. When he moved though, Sidon jumped a little, “Oh! How long have you been awake?”

“A while,” Link admitted with a sigh. “I’m sorry…”

“Link--” Sidon bit back an exasperated sound, seeming a little disoriented when his forearm bumped a soundly sleeping Nami. “When did she come upstairs?”

“Around midnight,” Link answered. “At least, I heard her getting her cup of water.”

Sidon grew a pensive expression, then sighed, “She knows she can get a cup of water  _ before  _ bed, right?”

Link shrugged, “Last time I pointed this out to her she insisted the water isn’t as good when it’s been sitting by her sleeping pool.”

“Heavens,” Sidon shook his head, then turned his attention back to Link and brushed his hair out of his face. “Are...you okay?”

Link looked up at Sidon for a long moment, and realized he wasn’t sure what to say. Looking away, his face fell on Nami’s peaceful little expression and he honestly wanted to start crying all over again. 

What had he done? 

At his silence, Sidon tried again, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I...I don’t know what else to say,” Link sputtered, his voice catching in his throat multiple times. Sidon hugged him tightly, then cradled Nami carefully as he sat up the rest of the way and deposited Link onto his lap. 

“Well….” Sidon glanced down at Nami, “What are you feeling?”

“Huh?” Link shot a glare up at Sidon, “How do you think I’m feeling!?”

“I know, it’s just--” Sidon looked from Link to Nami and back, “Nami...talked about how we have these... _ big feelings _ that we need to share? Maybe we should take her advice?”

“I--” Link felt his entire asshole inverting the thought sounded so uncomfortable, “I don’t know about this, Sidon…”

Sidon wore an equally pinched expression as he glanced down at Nami and admitted, “Well, I don’t either, but I’m tired of fighting and breaking your heart. I’m willing to try anything at this point. So--I’ll put her to bed and meet you outside?”

Link didn’t like the thought one bit but...well, he was tired of breaking Sidon’s heart too and he just wanted to be back in sync with his boyfriend and finally go on that date. So he was willing to give it a shot. It was still a little dark out when Link took a seat on the front steps of his house. He held himself, trembling slightly when Sidon stepped outside, closed the door behind him, and sat down beside Link. 

They sat in silence together for several more minutes before Sidon took a shaky breath and finally said, “I’m….scared.”

Link jumped a little, then looked up at Sidon’s tense expression. Blinking a few times, he continued, “I--I know I’m not really anybody’s first choice...in anything. So...I guess I’ve just been a little selfish. I don’t want to lose you, Link. I don’t want to lose any of you! But I...I don’t know…”

Link sat forward a little bit, “Sidon, what do you mean by ‘first choice’?”

Sidon’s hands got fidgety again and Link couldn’t help but take them. Another bated breath, and this time, Sidon was starting to cry, “I--well, I just mean that...well, if our lives had played out any differently I wouldn’t be anyone’s first choice...in anything, really...I wasn’t in line to the throne, I wouldn’t have expected to be your first partner...but...well, if you had the option I probably wouldn’t have been--I mean, Link, if my friends hadn’t been  _ killed _ then Nami wouldn’t have been my daughter! And that--that  _ hurts, _ Link...so I just thought - I hoped - that for once we could’ve just been each other’s first. That I wasn’t just the back-up.”

As Sidon spoke, he looked away. And Link felt his heart breaking into two. “Is...that how you feel?”

“I...don’t know,” Sidon hugged himself tightly. “I don’t want to. But I can’t help it.” 

Sidon’s voice trembled as if he were holding back a set of sobs. Link leaned up against his boyfriend, and mustered up the courage to say, “I...I’m scared too, Sidon. I, uh...I’m worried that my past is just going to ruin our relationship. And--Hylia, Sidon, you are the best thing to ever come into my life.”

Link’s voice faltered for a moment when he looked up to meet Sidon’s big, wet eyes. Feeling his voice crack amidst his own tears, Link whimpered, “I’m scared to love Revali, Sidon. I’m scared to think that I love him or had a family with him...because that means I left people I care about behind and I don’t even remember them! But that feeling sucks even more because -- Sidon, if the Calamity had never happened I wouldn’t be dating you. And that hurts!”

“Do you think--” Sidon’s voice broke as he heaved another sob, “Do you think we would’ve been happy with our lives at  _ all _ had the Calamity not happened? I’ve lost  _ so much, _ Link...and I can’t tell if we just made the most of our situation or if I’m emotionally profiting off of other people’s suffering! And--oh, Link I’m sorry--”

“Sidon,” Link threw his arms around Sidon’s neck. His boyfriend, in turn, finally released the dam and broke down into hysterical sobs. This time, it was Link’s turn to hold Sidon, rocking him as carefully as he could in the early morning. He held Sidon while they both cried it out, and as Sidon’s cries died down into whimpers, Link sighed, “Knowing you, I don’t think you’re the type to try and profit off other people.”

“But Link--”

“Nami is where she is meant to be, at least in this lifetime,” Link squeezed Sidon tighter. The sweet green eyes of another orphaned little girl flashed behind his eyes, and he had to hold back his own set of tears just long enough to say, “A person like you finds a way to make the most out of your situation. You’ve suffered too, Sidon. But you turned your grief into a warm home and a beautiful smile that helps people feel safe. Don’t you forget that.”

Sidon was clinging to Link’s shirt amidst his sobs, and when he ducked his head into Link’s shoulder, Link felt his own dam begin to break: “Y-you never hesitate to help someone in need, Sidon. I--I couldn’t even help Revali take in Reba--”

Link’s voice caught in his sob again, and he hiccupped. As his own tears began to fall, he felt Sidon reach up a hand and cup the back of his head. They held each other now, and as Sidon’s tears started to fade again, he sighed, “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit, Link.”

Link sniffled, “W-what do you mean?”

“Reba always talked about having two parents,” Sidon explained. “She was...admittedly secretive about her second father, and I always assumed it was because - well, it was no secret to the Zora that the world wasn’t very accepting - I just thought that Reba was trying to protect her parents’ memory.”

“Mmmmmm,” Link whined, tucking his face into the base of Sidon’s neck. Sidon adjusted himself so he rested his chin atop Link’s head and now Link was back in the big lug’s lap. 

“Also….” Sidon started, but trailed off. Link had his cheek pressed against Sidon’s chest and he could distinctly feel his boyfriend’s heart rate rise. 

“What?” Link asked.

“Ahhh--” Sidon grimaced, “I--well, I’m putting some pieces together and feeling like a complete imbecile, but I also don’t know what can of worms this is going to open.”

“Oh Hylia,” Link rolled his eyes, sitting back up to look Sidon in the eye, “Just spill it, Babe.”

Sidon bit his lip, his eyes growing wide for all of a moment before he blurted, “Clara raised her.”

Link felt his body process the name. Then he drew a complete blank: “Huh?”

“Clara?” Sidon said again. “Your...mother? At least I think she was your mother? I only met her a couple of times before the Calamity but--she was a music teacher, right?”

“Y-yeah?” Link felt his frown deepen further. Why did he suddenly feel nauseous? “I--sorry, I can remember my mom but her name is fuzzy still and--she  _ raised _ Reba?”

Sidon nodded his head again, drawing in a little bit, “There were...it took quite some time before we could host proper funerals for the Champions after the Calamity...it took so long that by the time we could honor them, my mother had--well, we had to host a joint funeral for my mother and sister. They did yours in Hateno. There was this...ominous lull in attacks that lasted for about six months after the calamity. We thought it was over but then...well, the first Blood Moon happened, but I digress. In any case, my father insisted we go because he said Reba would be there and she needed her friends. I didn’t know why. But I remember members of the Rito Delegation brought her to the funeral. Your father spoke about highly of you...that spurred a fight between him and Ms. Clara afterwards, but my father didn’t allow me to eavesdrop...but then two weeks later at Master Revali’s service, I went to see Reba and Ms. Clara had evidently relocated.”

“So--” Link felt like his brain was performing a fireworks show in its attempt to figure out why that, of all things, wasn’t computing properly. “Wait--Mom... _ my _ mom...moved to Rito  _ Village? _ To raise  _ Reba?” _

Sidon nodded his head, “In hindsight, I should’ve figured it out when Reba referred to Ms. Clara as her grandmother.”

“You--” Link started, but his voice lost him, so he was stuck crying and signing, “You knew my mother, then?”

“Of course I did,” Sidon sighed, “I’m sorry I never told you sooner, my love.”

“It’s okay,” Link shook his head, tears flying from his eyes, “I probably wouldn’t have remembered anything before, anyway--”

“Hey,” Sidon took Link’s hands, running his thumbs along the tops when Link’s signing got erratic. Bumping his forehead against Link’s, Sidon smiled warmly, “Reba had a wonderful life.”

Link felt his heart squeezing as he bit back a sob, then squinted his eyes shut. Heaving, Link leaned into Sidon, his boyfriend kissing him tenderly on the cheek. “A-are you sure? I didn’t screw her over?”

“I’m positive,” Sidon whispered, beginning to purr, “You may not feel like it, Link, but you made a positive difference in her life. At the very least, you were enough of a father to her to prompt your mother to be her grandmother. I don’t know what all happened, but Link, I know how you raise Nami. I know how highly Reba thought of her parents. I am confident that you were there for her - you just haven’t remembered it yet!” 

Sidon was so certain when he spoke, his smile was so genuine and he was so gentle with his words. Somehow, that had Link crying even harder. He loved Sidon. He loved Sidon’s optimism. 

He didn’t deserve Sidon’s optimism.

“Link,” Sidon huffed a little. “Stop thinking pessimistic thoughts about yourself.”

“I--I can’t help it!” 

“Let me be optimistic, dammit!” Sidon whined, a soft giggle escaping his lips when he cursed, “I know what I’m talking about and it calms my own anxiety!”

Link spat out a laugh, “Okay!” 

Sidon kept giggling, though honestly, Link couldn’t tell if the two of them were laughing or crying. Both? Was it both? Both was fine by this point. Amidst his sniveling, Link did manage to ask, “Does this mean we can go on our date tonight?”

“Oh! Please, Hylia!” Sidon coughed. “Before this hellscape of a vacation is over, I just want one date!”

“Okay! Okay!” Link giggled as he managed to pull away from the hug a bit. Sidon gave an absolutely dejected frown until Link kissed him. Neither of them could help moaning within their kiss, and by the time Link reluctantly broke free, Sidon’s tail was wagging and his eyes were full of stars. Chuckling, Link teased, “You’re such a drama queen.”

Sidon’s face fell sour again: “I’m a prince.”

“You’re a drama  _ prince,” _ Link rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help but place a kiss on his boyfriend’s snout. “But you’re my drama prince.”

Sidon had that starry gaze again, but his voice still hesitated when he asked, “And...you do want to be with me?”

“I wouldn’t want to go through life without you,” Link sighed, and Sidon was nuzzling his entire face into Link’s chest. 

* * *

Bazz yawned. 

He wondered how the idiots were doing. 

“How do you think it’s going?” Rivan asked, supposedly thinking the same thing. 

“I dunno,” Bazz shrugged. When he glanced over, he found his friend making a face right back at him. “What?”

“Aren’t you even...a little worried?” Rivan crossed his arms. “I mean...there is a  _ lot _ that Link doesn’t remember still...and if he did--shouldn’t the prince at least be prepared?”

“If you ask me, the prince is over prepared for a situation worse than it actually is,” Bazz rolled his eyes. “If we say anything else, he’s going to psyche himself out.”

“Uh-huh,” Rivan grimaced. Bazz felt his brow furrow. 

“Whaaaat?” Bazz reared a little. Across from them, Gaddison coughed loudly. 

“With all do respect, _Sir_ ,” Gadd rolled her eyes, “Are we sure giving Prince Sidon a heads up...would actually? Hurt?”

Feeling his eye twitch, Bazz let out a loud sigh, “You see how anxious that kid is. If he finds out they were  _ married-- _ Hylia, you saw how badly he drug his feet when he thought Mipha made that armor for him out of engagement!”

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re the one who brought up Mipha,” Rivan rolled his eyes. 

“Whaaaaat!?” Bazz reared again. “I’m not saying, I’m just--”

“You’re projecting,” Gadd blurted ruthlessly. Bazz froze, turned to the silver Zora, and almost retaliated by pointing out the big unspoken love elephant in the room between her and Rivan. Eighty years! Eighty years and raising Dunma together and  _ fucking constantly, _ and it was  _ still _ going strong! And they all said Sidon and Link were the messy couple of the Domain! 

“I’m not projecting!” 

“Mmhmm,” Rivan hummed, “And you’re assuming Sidon’s going to handle Link and Revali as badly as you handled thinking Link and Mipha were a thing.”

“I didn’t handle shit,” Bazz felt a pit forming in his stomach. Were they really coming for him like this? Were they really coming for him... _ today? _ “They had their own shit to sort out. So I let them.”

As much as he tried to ignore them, he could still see Rivan and Gaddison exchange glances out of his periphery. Sucking in a breath, Gadd added, “Yeah well--that’s sort of the point.”

“There is no point!” 

“I’m getting Dunma,” Rivan announced. Without even thinking, Bazz felt himself whipping around in a panic.

“Do not get Dunma--”

“DUNMAAAA!” Rivan called gleefully before Bazz could tackle him. That still didn’t stop Bazz from tackling Rivan, however. It simply fueled his hatefire. 

“Rivan! SHUT UP!” Bazz snarled, trying to cover his best friend’s mouth. 

“Oh, what?!” Rivan cackled, trying to whip his head away from Bazz’s hand, “You don’t want your oldest goddaughter to prove me right?”

“She doesn’t need to be dragged into this!”

“You’re right, we need to wait for the princess to get back so she can drag your ass even harder--”

“RIVAN!” 

As Bazz finally lost his temper, Dunma entered the room at a very inopportune time. “You called, Dad? Oh--what are you two  _ doing?” _

“Just ignore us!” Bazz ordered. Dunma stood frozen, staring at them, then started to back away. Just to confuse her more, Rivan screamed. 

“NO WAIT!” he begged. “I have a question!”

“O-okay?” Dunma cringed. “Dad--we’re on duty--”

“Yeah, but it’s important!” Rivan rolled out from under Bazz to spring back up onto his feet. Leaving Bazz. A dignified captain of the guard. Laying on the floor on his belly like an idiot. Dunma straightened herself slightly, staring at her father expectantly. Dusting himself off, Rivan asked, “So as someone who was raised by her favorite Uncle Bazz...what’s your perspective of Princess Mipha?”

“Rivan!” Bazz hissed, standing back up. “Will you  _ shut up?!” _

“You’re only proving his point,” Gadd sneered. 

“I--” Dunma stuttered, squinting slightly at the three supposedly older Zora in the room. “Well...isn’t the late Princess...weren’t the late Princess and Captain Bazz like a  _ thing?” _

The noise that came out of Bazz’s body was - unfortunately - something unholy. 

“WE WERE NEVER A THING!” Bazz shrieked, holding his head in his hands. Gadd looked at Bazz, then turned to Rivan and Dunma. 

“Do you see the problem?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips. 

“I--” Dunma stared at Bazz with wide eyes, then coughed. “Yeah--I--yeah, I can see it, Mom.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bazz huffed, crossing his arms. “But what I want to know is how Gaddison ended up being your mom when these idiots aren’t even--”

“No! No! We aren’t talking about me and Gadd, we’re talking about you,” Rivan threw his hands up. 

“I mean we could  _ also _ address that,” Dunma muttered under her breath, but then got the side-eye from both of her parents so she stopped.

“See we could do that, but given that both parties are happy in the arrangement and Bazz’s perpetual emotional constipation is way more interesting,” Rivan announced, grinning like a fucking jackass, “We’re gonna talk about Bazz.”

“It was a hundred years ago,” Bazz retorted. 

“And when was the last time you’ve been on a date?” Gaddison retorted.

“That’s not important--”

“You did say once that you didn’t have kids because the only person you’d be willing to--” Dunma started, but Bazz started yelling. 

“CAN WE NOT!?” he threw his hands up. 

“I’m still confused as to why this is even coming up,” Dunma pointed out. Gaddison sighed in response. 

“He’s projecting,” she explained. 

“We’re gossiping about Link and the prince,” Rivan looked like an absolute maniac. 

“Yeah so,” Dunma pinched her expression. “About the prince--didn’t he and...Captain Vali…? Wasn’t that a thing too?”

“OhohoHO!” Rivan started cackling while Bazz felt his soul leave his body. “You would  _ think so, _ wouldn’t ya!” 

“I mean it’s just--” Dunma sucked in a breath, “With everything that happened--I know we’re not supposed to talk about the baby that was lost but--”

“Oh we know,” Gaddison cut in, and it took all that Bazz had to maintain his composure. 

There was a lot that should’ve happened in that department. 

There was a lot that could’ve been avoided too.

But perhaps...perhaps that was why Bazz found himself so damn protective over the prince. They had both drug their feet on their feelings and paid the ultimate price for it. Sidon’s price seemed even steeper and more unfair than Bazz’s had, but he got a second chance at love. He wasn’t gonna let the kid screw that one up too. 

He wasn’t gonna ruin it for him. 

Before Bazz could sink too deep into his own angst, Dunma’s worried gaze pulled him out of his thoughts: “Uncle Bazz? You okay?”

“I--yeah,” Bazz pinched his snout. “Just a headache.”

“Mmmm,” Rivan hummed. “Bazz, if you need to talk about it--”

“I actually need you both to drop it,” Bazz corrected. “That shit happened a long time ago. It’s ancient history.”

As Bazz stormed out of the palace to start his second round of patrols, he heard Gaddison snort and comment, “Oh, he is  _ absolutely _ projecting.”

* * *

_ “Bazz? Are you alright?” Princess Mipha asked, causing Bazz to nearly leap out of his scales.  _

_ “I--yes, Princess!” Bazz answered, righting himself. As he watched the princess deflate - ever so slightly - his mind flickered back to a remark the Rito Champion had made. Bazz had always noticed the way her shoulders slumped a little, but he felt like he was the only one who noticed. So he wondered if he was merely seeing things and chose to air on the side of caution. After all, he didn’t want to be disrespectful, right?  _

_ But then there was the way Revali had yelled at him back at Castletown. There had been next to no time to respond, and frankly it wasn’t the first time Revali had snapped at Bazz, Link, or anyone else. Hell, he was engaged to Link and he still tore into the guy every five minutes, it seemed. Yet now here he was, in Kakariko village, zoning out under a pair of cherry blossom trees and he couldn’t deny the sad little twinkle in his princess’s eyes any longer: “You...really don’t like being called the princess, do you?” _

_ This time, it was Mipha’s turn to leap out of her scales: “Oh! Goodness, I--of course I don’t mind, Bazz! I just--well, it’s my title, it’s really no trouble. You don’t need to pay any mind to Revali and the things that he says--” _

_ “Princess,” Bazz squared himself to face her, but noted the way her lips puckered out in a deeper frown. “I mean--Mipha--I know you don’t mind but...I can tell it bothers you.” _

_ “Well--” Mipha started, seemingly at a loss for words. She started fiddling with her Champions’ sash as she sighed, her eyes growing very big and very defeated. “I know it seems silly...I mean, I  _ am _ the princess, but I just...when we were children, no one seemed to be bothered by titles or honorifics. We could just be ourselves and play together. But then somewhere in our schooling, I felt as if our teachers almost...I miss being able to just be friends with other Zora, and I feel like my title keeps me from that? I don’t know...I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be dumping this when you are so busy--” _

_ “Mipha,” Bazz caught the princess’s arm as she tried to brush past him. The way she hung her head and her eyes sparkled made his heart sink. This had really been weighing on her? With a frown, Bazz couldn’t help but apologize, “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I was pushing you away. I...well, I guess I never knew where you stood on the whole title thing, and I didn’t want to be disrespectful. I can stop if you’d prefer.” _

_ “But I don’t--” Mipha huffed, but then sucked in a breath and righted herself. “Please just do what you feel comfortable with.” _

_ “Well, I’m comfortable with whatever you prefer,” Bazz fought every bone in his body to keep from rolling his eyes. She always was kind of indecisive, even when they were kids.  _

_ “Oh--!” Mipha squinted her entire face as she stomped her foot on the ground. “That’s the problem! I don’t know what I want, Bazz!”  _

_ “Okay,” Bazz tilted his head to the side while she threw her hands up. As Mipha let out a frustrated growl that sounded remarkably similar to Queen Nerissa, he sensed there was something else going on. “Did...are you okay?” _

_ “Yes!” Mipha said to quickly. “No? I...I don’t know...Bazz, I’m truly sorry, I keep saying I’ll stop unloading on you and then I don’t!” _

_ “Do...you need to talk about it?” Bazz felt himself shifting his weight uncomfortably. He was not at all the right person to be fielding this kind of conversation with the princess. This was a Link thing. This was the kind of shit Link could do and be good at. This wasn’t a Bazz thing. Bazz wasn’t a feelings person. Why was Bazz suddenly on point to be the feelings person today?  _

_ Still, in spite of his body’s protesting, Mipha looked up at Bazz with big, pitiful, lost eyes and he couldn’t help but plop his ass down on the bench and motion for her to follow. Mipha stood frozen stiff for a moment, but just as Bazz wondered if she was going to scold him for being too forward, she relented and sat down beside them. They were both uncomfortably stiff when Mipha finally sighed, “I...got into it a bit with Revali today…” _

_ “Doesn’t everyone?” Bazz snorted, but quickly clamped his mouth shut. To his amazement, Mipha broke out into an adorable set of giggles and looked back up to him.  _

_ “You do have a point!” she smiles softly. “But...still, I...I can’t help but feel like he has a point.” _

_ “Well, what did he say?” Bazz asked.  _

_ “He--I asked him if it would be okay for me to still make Link some...armor…” Mipha admitted, her face turning bright red. “It--at this point, I purely intend for it to be for some better protection against Calamity Ganon. I mean--he’s going to be fighting that thing head-on and not even his uniform is very good against protecting him! So I just thought--I thought it could make for a nice wedding gift but Revali got upset and--” _

_ “Revali assumed you’re making it because you still have feelings for Link,” Bazz sighed, and the way Mipha hung her head told him that he hit the nail on the head. “Ooh, that sucks.” _

_ “He told me to just move on,” Mipha covered her face. “And I am! I’m trying! I--ohhhhhh, I shouldn’t keep saying these things!” _

_ “Hey--I mean--you gotta have someone to talk to about this kind of stuff, right?” Bazz shrugged. “Have you...even been able to talk about this stuff?” _

_ “I’ve talked a little with my mother about it,” Mipha admitted, “But Mom, she--she doesn’t quite get it. She tells me I keep overthinking these types of things and should just trust my instincts - but I don’t have instincts like she does! That’s my brother’s thing...or at least it will be! I can’t read people or rooms or situations like other Shark Zora. I’m  _ not _ a Shark Zora! I just--I feel like I lost a lot of friends when I began my training as a princess. Things just...weren’t the same. And I know I probably pushed you and the others away too but I--I didn’t mean to, I was just so worried and--I think the thing that brought me to Link in the first place was because he wasn’t a Zora. He doesn’t have the same expectations of me that everyone else does. He doesn’t see me as a wannabe-Shark or--or the girl who stole Aunt Marina’s Grace or a princess--” _

_ “Mipha,” Bazz interjected before she could spiral further. And dammit, he even dared to put a hand on her shoulder. As he did, he realized that he probably should’ve broken this ice sooner. “I never thought those things of you. You were my friend before the adults started preaching about you being the princess. And just because you have titles in front of your name doesn’t change that I think you’re a pretty cool person.” _

_ Mipha blinked several times and she looked up at him with big, wet eyes, “You--you do?” _

_ “Of course!” Bazz shrugged, ignoring the way his heart fluttered in his chest. Nope. No feelings today. He didn’t do feelings. “And...feeling like we drifted apart isn’t just on you, Mipha. It’s on me too. I...Gaddison says I tend to hide my head in my ass when I get stressed...and I was a stressed teenager. I kind of drifted away from everybody after elementary school. The only reason Gadd and Rivan still put up with me is because we all went to the Military Academy together and they forced me to be social.” _

_ Mipha’s giggles were some of the prettiest sounds Bazz ever heard, and it was a relief to see the tears clinging to the corners of her eyes begin to dry out when she smiled. “I’m glad they did, Bazz. You deserve it.” _

_ “Well, I wouldn’t say that,” Bazz scratched at the back of his tail, but then got an idea, “Say! If you’re looking to reconnect, you should help me and Gadd throw Rivan’s baby shower!”  _

_ “What?” Mipha balked, “I--oh, Bazz, I couldn’t possibly impose!” _

_ “Nonseeeense,” Bazz held his hand out for the princess. “We could actually use a more feminine touch. I mean...Gaddison can  _ kind of _ handle frills and girly stuff, but Rivan’s having a girl and his mom made a vision board and we have no clue what we’re doing with it.” _

_ “She...what on earth is a vision board?” Mipha winced, taking Bazz’s hand to stand up. Bazz simply shrugged and attempted to explain it, but seemed to leave the princess at even more of a loss, “Well...I suppose I can try! I did learn a few things from the baby shower my parents had before Sidon was born!”  _

_ “That’s the spirit!” Bazz grinned. “Seriously, Mipha, you’re a lifesaver on this one.”  _

_ Mipha was all smiles when she nodded her head, “I’m just grateful that you invited me to help!”  _

_ Bazz...suddenly ran out of words. There was just something about the way Mipha’s scales complimented the pink flowers on the trees above. The way her smile lit up the entire corner of the village that took his breath away. Bazz found himself gulping loudly as he realized what his next question for her was.  _

_ Welp...no time like the present.  _

_ “So...you uh...got any plans the rest of this afternoon?” Bazz found himself asking, scratching the back of his head.  _

_ “Oh, well, I was going to join Revali, Link, and Impa at the tea shop and--” Mipha started, pointing towards the tea shop the Champions always frequented together. Just as Bazz felt his hopes and dreams disappearing, the princess paused, then looked up at him with pink cheeks and a wide-eyed expression, “Would you...like to join us?” _

_ “Oh--well, I don’t wanna impose--” Bazz started, but Mipha had the audacity to cut him off with her sweet giggles and mockery.  _

_ “Nonsense!” Mipha teased. “We could actually use a friendly touch. You know how competitive Revali and Link get.” _

_ “It’s just tea!” Bazz threw his hands up, “How do those gays even function!”  _

_ “I’m convinced it’s performative,” Mipha sighed, shaking her head, then held out her hand, “But come now, Bazz, what do you say?” _

_ Bazz stared down at the Princess’s - Mipha’s - hand, and he couldn’t help but feel a smile tracing his lips. Taking her hand firmly in his, Bazz fell quickly into step with the princess. As they did so, he offered his arm instead as an escort. Adjusting herself to loop her arm around his, Mipha was practically beaming and stealing Bazz’s heart in the process. As they headed up to the tea shop, Mipha broke the comfortable silence only once: “Hey, Bazz?” _

_ “Yes, Mipha?”  _

_ She hummed as she smiled, “I like it when you call me ‘Mipha’.”  _

* * *

Link and Sidon honestly intended for their date to be romantic, they really did. 

But then they bumped into Naboo and her wife at dinner. And then Sidon had to ask the girls where Zelda - er,  _ mystery girlfriend - _ went, and then Naboo got this very sad and dejected look on her face but wouldn’t fess up. So Celia and Link put their heads together, decided it was time to go bar hopping, and now it was a damn miracle that Sidon was sober enough to sling his boyfriend over his shoulder and carry him home. 

“Weeeeeeeee-heeee!” Link hummed through his hiccups. 

“Honestly, I don’t know why we try to be romantic at this point,” Sidon noted, feeling his gate stagger slightly. He wasn’t going to fall into the pond again. He was  _ not _ going to fall into the pond again--

“Where’s Nami?”

“She’s at a sleepover, Love,” Sidon hiccupped. The pond was starting to sound like a very tempting nap spot. 

“Mmmmmmm--wanna makeout?”

“As long as you don’t throw up on me,” Sidon pleaded. 

“I woooould never!” Link giggled, though he didn’t sound very convincing. “Although, I  _ would _ throw up in the bushes next to Statue Man.”

“Statue Man?” Sidon felt himself squinting. What now? “Who is Statue Man?”

“Y’know--the--” Link made a gagging noise and Sidon almost dropped him on his head right then and there. “The statue!” 

“What...Link, what on  _ earth _ are you talking about?” Sidon shook his head. 

“You don’t know about the statue!?” Link lifted his head up a little bit and started kicking his feet for freedom. “I gotta show you!”

“Can’t you show me in the morning?” Sidon whined, but Link was already trying to wiggle out of the vice that was Sidon’s arms. Before he could fall - or worse, start running lose in Hateno - Sidon adjusted himself and his direction, “Alright! Alright! Just point to me where the statue is!”

“This waaaay!” Link cheered, waving his arm in a general direction off the beaten path. Sidon held back a series of groans and sighs while Link got them both turned around twice. He was ready to give up and all but knock his boyfriend out with a sleeping pill or a rock to the head when they stumbled upon an oddly shaped rock. 

No...not a rock...a statue. 

“Huh,” Sidon grunted as Link did manage to slide out of his arms. Sidon nearly lurched forward after his boyfriend when Link sprinted forward about three steps, but then Link skidded to a halt to gesture to the statue.

“See! I’m not crazy!” Link greeted. “This is my friend, Statue Man!”

“You...made friends with a statue,” Sidon’s jaw practically dropped to the floor. 

Oh, he hoped Link was just that drunk.

“Yes!” Link rolled his eyes, “He gives me--he gives me dating advice and wants you to have my babies.”

Sidon felt his brain shut off for all of a minute. 

When his mind rebooted, Sidon was shaking his head and blinking, “I’m--I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

“He gives me dating advice and wants you to have my babies,” Link stated again, so blasted he practically made it seem like his statement was perfectly reasonable.

“Yeah, you’re drunk,” Sidon frowned. “Let’s go home.”

“What! Nooooo--Sidoonnnnn!” Link shined as Sidon plucked him back off the ground. “Put me down! He gives good dating advice!” 

“Link, I don’t even want to begin to explain how this all sounds!” Sidon protested, holding back a few drunk hiccups of his own. Oh--oh no, that last shot was starting to hit him, after all. 

“But Sidoooon!” Link whined. “We could have BABIES! And they could all look like you!” 

“I--” Sidon felt his mind skid to a halt with his pace. That wasn’t even  _ possible. _

...was it? 

“We can’t have children, Link,” Sidon shook his head. 

“Yes we could!” 

“We do not have the correct reproductive organs!” 

“You have an  _ egg pouch! _ We could just find an  _ egg!” _

“I don’t have the mental capacity to go through that again!”

“Go through what again?!” Link was practically screaming, he was so drunk. Sidon was just glad he was drunk by the time his mind caught up to him. Pausing, Sidon debated. 

He wondered. 

Did he dare fall back down that rabbit hole? 

No...no, they had enough of this  _ ‘Big Feelings’ _ sharing for one day. 

“It’s...nothing, Link,” Sidon sighed heavily. “But we can talk about adoption sometime later when we’re married and you are  _ sober.” _

“Awwwwww!” Link rolled a little bit along Sidon’s shoulder, “But I don’t wanna be sober...I  _ do _ wanna be married--hey Sidon?”

“We are  _ not _ eloping!”

“But it worked for me and Revi!” 

Sidon stopped again, and this time he really did consider dropping Link on his head. 

Oh,  _ Hylia. _

As if the gods were making fun of the situation, Sidon could’ve  _ sworn _ he heard a deep, resonant voice snickering behind him:  _ “Ahhhh so now he remembers it….” _

And, as if Sidon and Link were doomed to go crazy together, Link started making a raspberry noise with his tongue….and at the statue, no less, “Oh shut up, Horny God! No one asked you!”

_ “Well, I don’t particularly prefer to be called a…’Horny God’...in any case, how does it feel to remember your betrothal, Hero?” _

“I dunno what you’re talking about,” Link slurred, hanging his head sloppily. Sidon could only hold his breath and hope he was just having a fever dream. 

But no, the statue just  _ had _ to continue fucking with them as it snickered,  _ “You appear to be in a state of disbelief, Prince Sidon. Is it because I am sentient or because your soulmate was married after all?” _

“I--I haven’t the slightest clue what you are talking about,” Sidon balked. “I must be dreaming this. I drank too much tonight and--”

_ “Oh, you did,” _ the statue observed,  _ “But this is not a dream. I’ve actually been excited to speak to you, you know.” _

“I’m…yeah, I’m gonna go--” Sidon started to turn away, but the statue could only sigh heavily. 

_ “Deny me if you like, Prince Sidon, but know that I have the answers you seek,”  _ the statue explained.  _ “You’ll be back.” _

“And just who are you, anyway!?” Sidon finally snapped. “How do you even know that Link was married!?”

_ “Link said so himself, did he not?” _

“He’s drunk--”

_ “He’s aware of his past, he just doesn’t realize it,”  _ the statue corrected.  _ “If you are still skeptical of me, then I invited you to put that one to bed and seek out a chest in the cellar. It’s covered by a tarp, but it carries the last few remains of his life from before.” _

“Please,” Sidon rolled his eyes, “Like I’m going to believe a talking statue that I’m imagining because--”

_ “When Clara died, her body was buried in a grove on the Great Plateau so she could be close to where her son was enshrined,” _ the statue explained,  _ “Your Rito Friend brought her there.” _

Sidon felt like he was glaring at absolutely nothing, but now he was getting nervous. Besides Sidon and her late husband, Reba hadn’t told a soul anything about her grandmother’s remains. Hyrule - or at least what was left of the kingdom at the time - had been exceptionally cruel to her grandmother in her old age. As the Hero’s Mother, they had also been unbelievably entitled to know what would happen to her at her time of death. The Rito were very tightlipped about Clara’s passing, only sending word out when her body had supposedly been cremated. The only reason Sidon knew what had really happened was because her husband convinced her to make a stop in Zora’s Domain before heading home to face Hyrule’s wrath. 

_ “Reba!” Sidon greeted at the front gates as she landed, looking absolutely exhausted. Behind her, a white-feathered Rito landed with an equally worn expression. “Taluk! What happened?” _

_ “We...we were at the Great Plateau,” Reba explained, her eyes budding with tears. She looked down again as Taluk placed a hand on her shoulder.  _

_ “Reba,” Taluk insisted, “Please tell him. You know he’ll keep it secret.” _

_ “Keep...what secret?” Sidon asked, though something about the way his scales started prickling told him he already knew the answer. “Reba, what happened?” _

_ “She...she’s gone,” Reba heaved, ducking her head. When she looked back up at Sidon, she finally broke out into sobs, “She’s gone, Sidon! My grandmother’s gone!”  _

_ “W-what?” Sidon found himself gasping. Without even thinking, he was opening up his arms to catch Reba in an embrace. She stepped into the hug, and her cries quickly escalated. “Oh, Reba, I am so sorry--I--where’s your boy? Is everything alright? Why were you at the Great Plateau?” _

_ Reba kept crying, and as Sidon brushed down her damp feathers, Taluk sighed heavily and explained, “My parents are watching him. She passed peacefully in her sleep while Reba was caring for her, but...well, things have been getting tense with the Hylians since her husband passed so Kaneli asked us to find a place to bury her in secret so her remains and her memory couldn’t be trampled over.” _

_ “My word,” Sidon frowned, hugging Reba tighter, “I am so sorry for your loss, Reba. Please...come inside, the both of you. You need your rest.” _

As Sidon kept glaring at the statue, it merely chuckled,  _ “You must think I peeked into your memory to garner these facts. And...well, that is partially true. There is quite a bit of this last century that you have buried deep in your heart, Prince Sidon.” _

“Stop tampering with my memory!” Sidon snarled suddenly, baring his teeth. 

_ “I would do no such thing,” _ the statue retorted, almost in warning.  _ “Trust me, I know the pain of the goddesses taking what is rightfully yours. Memory is not something I trifle with. Now, time and space, on the other hand...that  _ is _ entertaining!” _

“We’re done here,” Sidon began to turn, and the statue merely sighed dejectedly.

_ “You’ll be back,” _ the statue whined,  _ “At least I hope you will be...I do long for conversation. And you prove to be quite the interesting topic.” _

“I don’t know why you keep talking,” Sidon rolled his eyes as he marched away, “Because I am not listening!”

_ “Oh but you are,” _ the statue observed,  _ “You are because you are still curious as to what that chest in the cellar has to do with your Rito Friend.” _

Sidon stopped again, feeling a growl emerge from deep within his chest.

_ “The reason those two stopped in the Domain,”  _ the statue explained,  _ “It never made sense to you, that they would fly so far out of their way after burying their grandmother, now did it?” _

Sidon wanted to argue back, and he hated the way he turned his attention back to that damn statue. 

Sensing his displeasure, the statue chuckled again,  _ “They weren’t coming straight from the Plateau. They were coming from Hateno. The chest in the cellar was left by Reba. The pieces of your soulmate’s missing memories...they should be contained in there, Prince Sidon.” _

Sidon couldn’t hide his scowl as he turned back away to head home. He didn’t even want to answer the statue’s next question:  _ “How does that make you feel?” _

“That’s none of your concern--”

_ “Does it make you wish things were different? That he never remembered his past to begin with?” _

“Would you shut it?!” Sidon snapped finally.

_ “Why?” _ the statue asked,  _ “He’s out cold and black-out drunk. He won’t remember this exchange!”  _

“I do not care,” Sidon snapped, “I will not have you challenge my integrity like this!”

_ “What integrity? We’re simply having a conversation, Prince Sidon,” _ the statue explained.  _ “I believe your daughter calls it ‘Big Feelings Time’?” _

That did shamelessly elicit a stern growl from Sidon: “Keep away from my daughter.”

_ “Oh calm yourself, Prince Sidon. I have no interest in your daughter. At least not this one...at least not yet.” _

Sidon almost threatened to destroy that damn thing, but then his drunk ass suddenly remembered he was talking to a statue. “I--I’m going to bed.”

_ “You keep saying something to try and end this conversation...yet you are still here.” _

“Shut up!”

_ “Oh, but I’m lonely! And your soulmate keeps using me for relationship advice when I haven’t even seen my own partner in several millennia. Besides, I rather like you. You’re quite easy on the eyes…are you two considering an open relationship yet?” _

“A statue is flirting with me,” Sidon balked. “I’m drunk, I must’ve had something slipped into my drink, because I’m hallucinating about a  _ time and space statue _ that is  _ flirting with me!” _

_ “Well, I don’t think I’m a hallucination...but I am flirting with you,” _ the statue admitted,  _ “It’s not every day I get to talk to a Zora. Which reminds me, the Hero seems rather interested in procreation with you. If you’d like, I could help with that--” _

“NO THANKS!” Sidon blurted suddenly, spinning back around. “Goodnight! I don’t need to invite more chaos into my life, thank you very much!”

_ “Hmph,” _ the statue almost sounded sad,  _ “If that’s how you feel, I suppose I could find another method...oh well, the Hero is nowhere near close to fulfilling his end of the bargain.” _

Annnnd Sidon was pausing in his tracks again, “...what bargain?”

_ “He has yet to face his daughter,”  _ the statue explained.  _ “Once he completes that task and rights his wrongs, I promised him a miracle for you both.” _

“His--we both saw Nami not even four hours ago!” Sidon snapped back. At that, the statue was eerily quiet, so Sidon finally turned back around and began to leave. 

_ “Look in the cellar, Prince Sidon,” _ the statue encouraged him one more time,  _ “I think you will see what I mean when you do.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Majora flirting with Sidon? Yes.
> 
> Do I kind of sort of ship it a little after deciding what he *actually* looks like in my mind? ...........also...yes......
> 
> Listen, Nami DID say she wants an army of dads and there is nothing wrong with Sidon amassing a tiny rock-eating goblin husband, a one-legged lunatic of a dead husband, a jackass bird as a brother-husband, and a trickster god of Twili and MASS DESTRUCTION to help his daughter obtain that army. Let me live, dammit. 
> 
> (Also, I will add that we are absolutely going to learn how Reba's life went after the Calamity. Home girl did get married and have a baby birb of her own....and baby birb may or may not be relevant to the story already....)


	9. My Mother Told Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link's father refused to accept him, but Revali refused to accept that Link's mother would sit idly by and let it happen. Meanwhile, Sidon takes the Horned Statue's advice and goes snooping through the cellar. As he uncovers more clues to Link's past, Link begins to remember more of what happened to his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When ya write a chapter so long that you have to split it in two! 
> 
> Hello yes, this is about to be a Double Post Saturday because I just could not. Stop. I'm also nearing winter break (just 2 more days of school!) so I will hopefully have much more time to write and update, especially since From the Goddesses Above is going under a minor revision. 
> 
> But anyway! Enjoy!

_ Link loved the piano. He especially loved listening to his mom play the piano. Sometimes, when he was little, he would sit on the stairs well past his bedtime watching his mother play. Their house was so small that it didn’t really matter if he was in bed or not, but it was also the few times she looked so at peace. It was one of the few times where she didn’t look worried, where she wasn’t quiet, where she wasn’t avoiding his father’s cold gaze.  _

_ Sometimes, if Dad wasn’t home, Mom would look up and catch Link on the stairs. And she’d smile. Sometimes, if Dad wasn’t home, she wouldn’t send him immediately to bed. Instead, she’d hold her arms out in invitation.  _

_ “Would you like to join me?” She’d ask. Link could only nod. In no time at all, he’d scramble down the stairs and crawl up into her lap. Setting his little hands on top of hers, he’d watch in awe as her fingers danced along the keys. If he closed his eyes, he’d pretend that his hands could dance just as beautifully. That he could make the same pretty sounds that she did. He could play the Ocarina, sure, but he was able to practice woodwinds in school - he had to take music class! - but there was something just magical about the piano.  _

_ Father also said that Link wasn’t allowed to play the piano. It wasn’t for boys. If it wasn’t for music class, he wouldn’t have let Link play the ocarina either. That  _ really _ wasn’t for boys.  _

_ “...Link?” Mom’s voice distracted Link from his thoughts, and he opened his eyes. When he did, he discovered that she was looking down at him with a knit, nervous expression. “I know...what your father said...but your teacher told me she found you playing with the keys of her piano while you were waiting for me to come get you today.” _

_ Link jumped a little, then looked down. He...didn’t know what to do. Was he in trouble? _

_ Instead of scolding him, Mom brushed out Link’s hair and gave a hesitant - nervous - smile, “Would you...like to play?” _

_ Link gasped excitedly at that, and with no effort at all, he cheered, “Yes please, Mama!”  _

* * *

Link jerked awake when Sidon flopped on top of him, purring up a storm. Hugging his boyfriend’s head, Link asked, “Whaaat’s up?”

Sidon sighed deeply, hugging Link tighter, “I love you, Link.”

“I love you too,” Link grinned, “What brought this on?”

“Hmmm,” Sidon hummed, “Nothing.”

Link smiled, drifting back off to sleep. 

* * *

_ “Link, you need to talk to her,” Mipha insisted. “You’ll regret it if you don’t.” _

_ “I already regret half of my life,” Link rolled his eyes, digging his heels into the ground. _

_ “Link, she’s your mother!” Mipha pleaded, “She’ll want to hear your side of the story.” _

_ “Oh, the Old Man made my side of the story  _ abundantly clear!”

_ Before Link could protest any further, Revali spun around and grabbed his hands. “Quit being so asinine! Just because your father doesn’t want you in his life doesn’t mean he can dictate your relationship with your mother!”  _

_ “Sure it does!” Link spat, but then Revali promptly swat him on the head. “Hey!”  _

_ “You really don’t know a damn thing,” Revali shook his head with a snarl. “Just--come on!”  _

_ Taking Link’s hand, Revali drug Link all the way to his parents’ house. It had been...well, it had been a month since Revali outed them both to his father, and according to one of his family friends, the Old Man had been home just the other day and proceeded to throw all of Link’s belongings out to the house. But he had since returned to the Capital, and Link had no idea how his mother was going to react.  _

_ Revali on the other hand, had no problem kicking the door open with his talons.  _

_ “Revali!” Link snapped, chasing after him, “Can you at least knock?!” _

_ Revali turned to shove a pointed emerald stare in his face, but before Link could grow anymore heated, he caught a trembling blonde form out of his periphery. Turning, Link straightened himself and blushed, “S-sorry--I’ll just be going--” _

_ “Link?” Mom asked, setting down the cookie sheet she was cleaning off. Had she baked cookies recently? For the kids next door? Did she have someone - perhaps the little one who was always picking fights with his sister - helping her to bake? Did she have someone who could bring her a motherly joy that Link failed to give? _

_ “H-Hi--” Link stuttered, scratching the back of his head. She had never learned sign language, so he fought hard to apologize, “Sorry--we--can go if you--” _

_ “Oh thank Hylia!” Mom sobbed suddenly, rushing into Link’s arms. She pulled him into a tight hug, and for a moment Link could only stand there confused. “I was so worried! When your father told me what happened at the Capital I--I was--Hylia, Link!”  _

_ Link honestly didn’t know what to say or do, “Didn’t...Pops tell you…?” _

_ “What?” Mom pulled out of the embrace for a moment, looking at Link in confusion. “He said...he said you two got into a fight and--he made it sound like you were hurt and wouldn’t recover--that I wouldn’t see you again with all that was going on!”  _

_ “Wait,” Revali snapped suddenly. Oh fuck, here it goes. “Did Geoff not say what the fight was about?” _

_ Mom paused, looked pensively at Revali, then glanced down at the floor. Her bright blue eyes seemed to grow wet as she sighed. “He...did say that...Link--are you really gay?” _

_ Link froze, and he couldn’t help but back away from her with bated breath. “I--uh--Mom, I’m sorry.” _

_ Mom’s brow furrowed a little bit, and she almost had the same tight-lipped expression that he did when he couldn’t talk. “Why are you sorry?” _

_ “I--I’m not the son that you wanted,” Link admitted, feeling like his chest was tight. “I can’t--agh--I can’t talk. I can’t--I’m sorry!” _

_ He didn’t mean to have a panic attack. He didn’t mean to break down into tears. He wanted to be strong, but he also just wanted his mom.  _

_ “Oh come on, Link,” Revali shook his head, “Do you really have to start with the waterworks?” _

_ Link would’ve punched his fiance in the beak had his mom not kept a tight grip on his shoulders. But that didn’t stop him from snapping profanities in Revali’s direction. And that didn’t stop Revali from snarking back at him. And as Link’s tears dried and he noticed the playful glint in Revali’s eye that usually meant he was intentionally fucking with Link, he felt Mom’s grip on his shoulders tightened.  _

_ Then suddenly, Mom’s voice broke Link out of his sorrow with a question: “Are you happy?” _

_ “What?” Link asked, turning back to his mother. “What do you mean?” _

_ The way Mom’s eyes welled with tears as she smiled, it almost broke his heart. Taking a shaky breath, Mom wept, “Your voice is so beautiful!” _

_ “H-huh?” Link gasped, feeling his own eyes water with tears.  _

_ “You’re talking,” Mom pointed out, and he couldn’t tell if she was crying tears of sorrow or happiness. She then turned to Revali who was now pulling out feathers in discomfort, and as she addressed him, he squawked, “You--you get my son talking.” _

_ “Yeah, and he doesn’t shut the hell up,” Revali rolled his eyes. Link gave him a look, but he simply shrugged - albeit playfully - in response. Mom looked between the two of them, and as her gaze fell back onto Link, her eyes softened, and her smile grew a little more obvious.  _

_ Cupping his cheek in her hand, she sighed, “You’re happy with him?” _

_ “I--” Link felt his gaze travel up towards Revali who was still giving him that heated stare. It seemed any time Revali was having an emotion that he wanted to keep bottled away in his chest for all eternity, he’d just fixate his gaze on either Link or Reba. It was a stern, unreadable, borderline angry stare, but if Link had learned to read the twinkle in his eyes sooner, their love story might’ve been just a tad different. Certainly a little less embarrassing. And, as much as Link wanted to bottle away his own emotions, he couldn’t help but swallow the lump in his throat and admit, “Yeah. I love him, Mom.” _

_ Revali’s gaze widened a bit at that, and before he had the chance to reveal the little water droplets in his own eyes, he grunted and snapped his head away from the scene with crossed arms. Still hovering at the doorway, Mipha bit back a giggle at Revali’s expense. Link, however, couldn’t help but cry. “I--I love him and I’m going to marry him and--Mom, I just wanted you to be at the wedding!”  _

_ “You--?” Mom started, but then coughed suddenly to disguise a sob, “You really do?” _

_ “Yes!” Link wept, “You’re my mom and--and I wanted you to walk me down the aisle and meet his daughter--she--they grew up in the orphanage together and he took her in and Mom you would just love Reba! But I don’t know a damn thing about kids and you could bake her cookies and teach her how to play the piano and ocarina!”  _

_ As Link started talking, he couldn’t seem to stop. Nor could he really stop crying. But he blathered, and his mom held him, and when he finally caught his trembling breaths, she kept him steady. Then she pulled him back into a hug, “I want that too, Link. I--I would love that! I can help you, I can--Revali, I could be her grandmother if you’d like. I don’t want to impose and I don’t know--Link are you adopting her?” _

_ “I...don’t know,” Link admitted, feeling his ears droop in embarrassment. Revali wanted him to. Desperately. He wanted Reba to say she finally had two parents, even if he didn’t admit it out loud. But Link still...well, he met Reba when Revali could barely admit she was like a sister to him and then he went and built her a house and didn’t protest when she started calling him “Dad” and “Papi”.  _

_ Also, Link  _ swore _ that he would never have kids. He wasn’t going to be the cold, distant father that his own was. He couldn’t do that to a kid!  _

_ He wanted to be warm and gentle, like his mother. He wanted to fill the house with wonderful smells and beautiful music. But that wasn’t a man’s place...was it?  _

_ Sensing his growing anxiety, Mom brushed his hair behind his ears and smiled, “I could...help with that too. Help you decide, if you’ll let me?” _

_ Link glanced back up at his mother, still trying and failing to bite back his tears. He figured he knew the answer, but he still had to ask, “So you don’t mind that I’m gay?” _

_ “I think you’re perfect the way you are, Link,” Mom smiled. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to find someone who could give you back your voice--now look at you!” _

_ Link coughed up a mix between a laugh and a sob, and as his mother held him, he noted the way she reached forward and grabbed Revali by the scarf to force him into the group family hug. He just hoped that there would be more of these. _

* * *

When Sidon went down to the cellar, he had no idea what to expect. Maybe some artifacts? Clothing? Letters? 

Well, he found those, but what caught his eye first when he opened the chest was the worn photographs from the original sheikah slate. He paused almost immediately at the first photo, gasping when he held it up to the light to see a captured image of his sister. She was smiling, standing in between Link and Master Revali. Both men wore stern expressions, but he could barely see the way Link bit his lip when he was trying hard not to smile. And failing. 

The other thing that caught Sidon’s eyes was the...distinct braid holding Link’s hair back, tied off with a feather that was most notably Revali’s. Then there was his scarf, and the armor he wore was most definitely Rito armor. 

No...it wasn’t just armor. It was a dress uniform. 

Sidon flipped to the next photograph, this one included all of the Champions of Old, as well as Zelda and Lady Impa. They all looked so happy, and Sidon’s gaze kept falling onto Link’s. He looked so handsome. Sidon flipped to another photograph, and Link looked like he was in the middle of yelling while Lady Urbosa pushed a needle through his earlobe. On his lap sat Reba, her eyes as big and sparkly as Sidon remembered. 

He never did know what happened to his friend after the Divine Beasts reawakened all those years ago. 

Twenty years after the Calamity, the Divine Beasts - once a symbol of hope, later the cause of death to thousands of innocent people - suddenly fell dormant. The world felt safer, if only slightly. Guardians still swarmed, monsters still largely dominated the planes of Central Hyrule. But the four corners of the world and the rivers leading to the Domain seemed to fall into better, more peaceful times. Father still feared for Sidon’s safety any time he went further than Lanayru Tower, but he and Reba had found ways to still visit. Safe spots that they could travel to. They had been friends for so long, it felt wrong to fall out of touch. 

But then, decades later, the rains from Ruta started. The very next year, when it was time to meet, Reba didn’t show. 

They didn’t have access to the same kinds of messaging systems before Ganon’s defeat - it was just too dangerous for post runners to cross large distances and Vah Medoh managed to ground almost all Rito - and Sidon had no way of traversing to Rito Village before Link came along. He had no way of knowing if something happened. But on their last few trips to visit the Rito and rebuild diplomatic relations, Sidon  _ did _ try to find her. But then the last time, in their idle chatter with Teba and Elder Kaneli, Sidon had been taken aback with the reminder of just how  _ young _ Teba was. Sure, plenty of Zora became parents at the same age that he had, but Elder Kaneli almost spat out his tea when Sidon mentioned his own age. And...yes, Sidon was well aware that the Zora were incredibly long-lived, even against their Rito cousins. That still didn’t shake Sidon of the fact that he was two years older than the Rito’s most esteemed elder. What was ancient for a Rito wasn’t even considered middle-aged for a Zora. In fact, many still considered Sidon to be quite young, and that...that shook him. 

There was no way Reba was still alive. And that broke his heart for Link. He hadn’t even gotten the chance to meet her son when he hatched, so Sidon didn’t even know who to ask for information from. It was too dangerous to travel on land and her boy was just too young to fly long distances. 

But, such was Sidon’s fate, he supposed. The people dearest to him never did survive, it was just his luck that he would fall in love with a Hylian who couldn’t even live beyond a century, so why should he expect anyone else to stick around? Why did he expect to be able to help Link in the same regard? 

Biting the inside of his lip, Sidon flipped to the next picture, and it suddenly dawned on him what special day these photos were from. In the photo, Link  _ beamed _ with pride, his blue eyes giving that same beautiful twinkle Sidon knew too well. But more than that, he was now wearing the same blue earrings that were a staple to his wardrobe. Sidon met Link (as an adult) in those earrings. Link wore nothing but those earrings and if Sidon let him sleep in them, he probably would. They were made of a sturdy material, Sidon knew that much, and before he knew any better, Sidon had once wondered if a Rito had carved the little ceramic hoops for him. 

Well, when Sidon stared down at the photo to see Link holding Revali so tightly - so lovingly - while Revali tried to pretend he wasn’t having it, a sob caught in Sidon’s throat. Link was catching one of Revali’s long braids in his hands, and at the end of the braid were two blue ceramic beads almost identical to Link’s earrings. Of  _ course, _ those earrings had to have been Revali’s handiwork. 

Zora made sapphires and armor. Rito made gatherings and beadings, to give to their betrothed. Normally the Rito wore their wedding beads within the little tufts of hair that they could grow. But Link’s Hylian hair was of a completely different texture and Sidon knew too well how easily it could tangle. It made sense that Link would’ve wanted his wedding beads to be molded into a piece of jewelry instead. And it made sense that the century old photos within the cellar happened to be from his boyfriend’s wedding day. 

Oh Hylia. 

Conflicted, Sidon hated to admit that he almost wanted to leave the photographs there. Forget about them. Pretend that he didn’t have to share Link. Pretend that their lives didn’t start until they met Nami. Until they met each other. But that wasn’t fair to Link. That wasn’t fair to the friends and loved ones they both lost, but only Sidon could remember. So, with a heavy heart, Sidon collected the stack of photographs and other pieces of parchment, placed them carefully back in the chest, and brought them back into the house with him. As he traversed up the stairs, leaving the cellar, he paused at the entrance to look up at the stars in the night sky. 

Did Sidon really deserve Link? 

_ “Oh curse My Own Name! You are a piece of work,” _ the statue bellowed within Sidon’s head. For heaven’s sake, he could eavesdrop on Sidon from here?! 

“Would you stop?!” Sidon snapped, closing and locking the cellar doors with haste. 

_ “You just-- _ you _ don’t stop!” _ the statue whined.  _ “Can’t you come up with something more interesting than self-pity? I knew you were gloomy behind that positive exterior, but I didn’t realize you were an overdramatic queen about it.” _

“Prince,” Sidon snarled, less than three seconds from having a temper tantrum “I’m a prince!” 

_ “Prince of what? Manic Meltdowns? Goddess Above, you are a disaster!” _ the statue just kept going.  _ “All I wanted to know was if you found the wedding photos and here you are having a crisis!” _

“Yeah! I’m gay, I’m emotionally compromised, and you sent me to find my boyfriend’s old wedding photos! Of course I’m having a crisis!” Sidon almost threw the little chest at the statue, but he was sensible enough to keep them tucked under his arm. “What the  _ hell _ did you want me to find these for anyway?”

_ “I was honestly hoping you would show them to the Hero, trigger the last of his memories, and have some actual honest communication so he could get over his thing, you could find a therapist, and we could get on with the show and  _ maybe _ I could see what’s beyond the Darkness, but I suppose we’re going to have to do this the hard way after all!” _ the statue snapped flippantly. Sidon...didn’t like that he was having such a depressive episode that he was talking to corporeal statues, but...well, he couldn’t help but frown in concern for some of the things it said. Thought? Spoke? Astral projected? 

“What...what do you mean by Darkness?” Sidon asked. 

_ “That’s neither here nor there,”  _ the statue hummed,  _ “Although--well, I’ll tell you later. But in any case, how are you feeling?” _

“You said yourself that I’m having a crisis--”

_ “No no, beyond that. Your soulmate looked rather handsome on his wedding day.” _

“Can you stop!?”

_ “Why? You seem unsettled when you think about it.” _

“You just pointed out that I’m having a crisis about it, of course I am unsettled!”

_ “Yes, but why?” _

“I--” Sidon paused, then glared down at the chest under his arm. Oh, so it was a hallucination in the name of relationship counseling. Got it. “I just...I can’t help but wonder if Link would be happier had...the Calamity not happened. That everyone would be happier.”

_ “Mmmm, because Revali would still be alive?” _ the statue asked.  _ “He would’ve been with his husband and available to raise your little Rito friend as well.” _

“Y-yes…”

_ “Had the Calamity not happened, your own daughter would still be with her birth parents.” _

The second guilty pang that struck Sidon in the chest stung even more than the first, “Yes...she would. And my sister would be alive, as well as my mother. They’d all be happy! But...I don’t know where I would fit into the picture.”

_ “Do you want to find out?” _

Sidon’s anxiety screeched to a halt for all of a second so he could look up at the damn thing in confusion, “What does  _ that _ mean?”

_ “I just mean...well, what would you do if I told you there was a chance to save your sister? To stop the Calamity?” _

“That would...that would be amazing!” Sidon gasped, in complete disbelief, “But that’s not possible.”

_ “How do you know? You’re talking to a statue that knows quite a bit more than you, after all.” _

“I can’t just go back in time!” Sidon threw his hands up. “That’s not possible! That’s not--my sister is  _ dead!” _

_ “In this timeline, sure,” _ the statue hummed.  _ “But there are mysterious forces at work, Prince Sidon. And you have a chance to play a role. To save her. Give your soulmate and your daughter the lives you so desperately seem to wish for them. Give you a chance to see what your life would have been like had you not been bound to the shackles of the crown.” _

Sidon stood frozen at that, not entirely sure what to say. 

_ “But it is also like you said: where  _ exactly  _ would that leave you? Your daughter gave you a purpose, a calling you could call your own. The absence of your sister leaves you in line to inherit the crown, and as much as you  _ resent _ the loss of time to explore your own interests, you can’t help but admit that you find your role as the prince more fulfilling than anything else you originally wanted to pursue. Not only that, but saving Link would mean that he would live out his entire life before you could even come of age. So who would you give your heart to?” _

“I’m not that selfish, you know,” Sidon snarled, turning away from the statue. 

_ “I know you’re not, Prince Sidon, that’s part of your charm,” _ the statue teased. Was it flirting again?  _ “But I do need a definitive answer: would you save your sister if the opportunity arose?” _

“You’re joking, right?” Sidon snapped, turning back to the damn thing one last time, “That’s not even a question. Of course I would!”

The statue remained silent after that, with a sigh, Sidon turned back to the house and went inside. He set the chest down on the kitchen table before heading upstairs and getting ready to bed. As he curled up against Link, he felt his boyfriend stir. 

“Whaaat’s up?” Link croaked, and Sidon felt arms wrap around his tail. What was Sidon supposed to say?

Well, he supposed he could just hold Link and speak what was on his mind: “I love you, Link.”

The way Link’s sleepy little voice lit up made Sidon’s heart squeeze, “I love you too! What brought this on?”

“Hmmm,” Sidon let his eyes fall closed, “Nothing.”

* * *

_ Sidon was very small. Snow was very tall. Master Revali was very big! By the third time he face-planted into a pile, Reba asked, “Do you wanna go back inside?” _

_ “No,” Sidon admitted, pulling his fat face out of the snow. Sometimes his tail made him feel top-heavy. But now the snow was like a giant wall he had to walk through. It was fun! “The adults are all talking very seriously. They sound sad.” _

_ Reba frowned a little at that, her big green eyes getting bigger with worry when she looked to the door of her house. Mipha told Sidon that they were going to visit Master Revali and the other champions for a special celebration! She didn’t exactly say what, though, she didn’t even tell Dad what the party was for. She just said it was “Champion Stuff” and wanted Sidon to come along. He was glad that she did! He never got to leave the Domain, he loved being with his sister, and he loved hanging out with Reba too! But something had happened this morning that had Revali even more on edge than usual and that had Reba worried. Sidon didn’t like when Reba worried.  _

_ “Hey,” Sidon insisted, holding out a hand out for help standing up. He was getting a little stuck in the snowbanks. “It’s gonna be okay!” _

_ “Are you sure?” Reba asked, taking hold of Sidon’s hand and pulling him out of the ground. “Papa seemed really sad this morning.” _

_ Reba looked to the door again, and Sidon couldn’t help but frown. “Really? He just seemed grumpy. But...then again, I guess Master Revali’s always grumpy.” _

_ “What?” Reba looked up at Sidon in confusion, then shook her head, “No! That’s--oh, nevermind…” _

_ Sidon eyed Reba curiously, watching her deflate a bit with a defeated sigh. Frowning a little bit, Sidon couldn’t help but ask, “What’s wrong? Did I say something?” _

_ “No,” Reba shook her head patiently, looking back up at Sidon. She then fluttered a little and noted, “It’s getting kind of cold out, are you sure you don’t want to go inside?” _

_ “Do you wanna go inside?” Sidon asked. Reba shrugged. Pouting a little, Sidon squeezed her feathery little hand and announced, “Let’s go then.” _

_ Reba perked up a bit, fluttering closely behind. They barely even made it to the door when they could hear the grown-ups all talking with raised voices inside. Not thinking much of it, Sidon pushed the door wide open to find Master Revali pacing hastily across the cabin.  _

_ “I told you we should’ve made her come with!” Revali snapped. “But no! You and your mother have to be so damn stubborn!” _

_ “Revali, you are not helping,” Lady Urbosa rolled her eyes. “We can still wait to do the ceremony if we think Clara will--” _

_ “It’s fine!” Master Link spat quickly. Sidon jumped, looking up to him. He was laying on a hammock with his head hanging off it. He looked kind of silly signing upside down. “If she can’t make it, she can’t make it.” _

_ “Yes but--Link, you told me yourself that she wanted to be here!” Impa pleaded.  _

_ “Yeah, and now Geoff said she can’t, so...that’s that.” _

_ “She could literally just move here!” Revali threw his wings straight up in the air. “Why the hell does she even put up with him?!”  _

_ “They’ve been married for thirty years, Revali!” Link snapped suddenly.  _

_ “Well, she better divorce his ass before they make it to thirty-one!” _

_ “Revali! Enough!” Urbosa threw her head back in frustration. “You’re not helping! Besides, we have a pair of young ears with us.” _

_ Revali squawked a bit, spinning around to face them both. Sidon could only smile and wave to the Rito Champion, not sure what the fuss was all about. “What are you two doing here? Shouldn’t you be playing or whatever?” _

_ “We got cold,” Sidon announced, and Revali’s shoulders slumped a little. Sidon could’ve sworn his gaze softened the same way Mipha’s did when she worried about him, but it was hard to tell. But he was Master Revali, he was scared of no things! He worried about nothing! He was as brave and fearless as Link! And Link was as brave and fearless as Bilbo Baggins! Probably even braver!  _

_ “Well,” Mipha stepped forward, smiling warmly. Sidon couldn’t help but run into her arms. “Do you two want to warm up for a bit and then come to the market with me? We have an exciting night ahead of us!” _

_ “Oh come on, Mipha, do you honestly think Link’s gonna pull it together enough to--” Revali started, but Mipha scooped both Sidon and Reba up into her arms and deposited them into his. Revali squawked, froze, and Sidon couldn’t help but giggle at how soft his feathers were.  _

_ “They’re going to siphon your body heat and bad attitude for a little bit,” Mipha explained, placing her hands on her hips with a smile. “Then I’ll take them to the market so you two can decide whether or not this ceremony is happening tonight.” _

_ “But I--” _

_ “Good idea!” Daruk chimed in suddenly. “Urbosa and I can go finish making some preparations too, if you’d like.” _

_ “And I’m….gonna take Princess Zelda for a walk,” Impa announced, swinging her hands behind her back.  _

_ “Please just tell me this walk is a date, that girl needs it,” Urbosa rolled her eyes.  _

_ “I’m not saying anything!” Impa blurted suddenly, and Sidon was too entranced in feathers to ask her why her face was getting so red. Even Mipha came up with an excuse to step outside, and suddenly, Sidon realized he and Reba were alone with Revali and Link. Link was still moaning on the hammock in defeat. Revali stood stiffly holding the two children.  _

_ “Ah…” Revali stared down at Sidon. Sidon grinned back up at him, then after a series of blinks, Revali turned to Link and tossed Sidon gently towards him. Sidon squealed in delight as he yelled, “Link, you take the Twirp.” _

_ “Why do I--OOF!” Link gasped suddenly. “Are you getting bigger?” _

_ “I dunno, probably!” Sidon giggled, his tail flopping as it wagged, “Hi Link!”  _

_ “Hi...Sidon,” Link frowned down at him before promptly covering his face.  _

_ Sidon frowned. Link was upset about something.  _

_ Sitting up, Sidon bounced on Link’s chest a little and asked, “Are there any new books?” _

_ “I...don’t have too many right now--” _

_ “What about the book about ninjas?” Reba asked from Revali’s embrace.  _

_ “I don’t know--” _

_ “Or  _ The Hobbit!"

_ “Sidon, we just read that one!” Reba whined. _

_ “Well we can read it again!” Sidon protested. “Come onnnn, Reba! That’s my favorite book!”  _

_ “I don’t care what you kids pick out, just do something to cheer him up,” Revali droned, then suddenly he tossed Reba on top of Link as well. She giggled and fluttered as she landed, causing less recoil to the Hylian than Sidon had. Link stared uncomfortably up at them both, then whined towards Revali. _

_ “Whyyyyyy did Mipha put us in charge of the kids?” Link whined. “We’re not responsible! We’re barely adults!” _

_ “UH--correction, Link, she put us in charge of your Twirpy Little Friend,” Revali pointed at Sidon who waved at him again. He just liked waving at Revali. He squawked and was funny! “Reba’s  _ been _ our responsibility.” _

_ “She’s been your responsibility--” _

_ “Don’t you fucking start this again,” Revali snarled suddenly, and Sidon felt Link and Reba both tense a little. Sucking in a breath, Revali held it, then sighed. “Scoot over.” _

_ “Hah?” Link grunted, but still rotated so his head was at least cushioned by the hammock. As he settled, both Sidon and Reba giggled while they nestled in deeper as well. “Why?” _

_ “Just. Scoot over, you’re upset,” Revali hissed, then fluttered his own wings to all but leap and settle on top of the three of them. Sidon squealed a little when he got a face full of feathers as Revali nestled and brooded on the trio. Beside him, he felt Reba completely melt in his feathers.  _

_ Giggling, Sidon looked around him at the settling Rito and Hylian, then asked, “What are we doing, Master Revali?” _

_ “Brooding, Twirp,” Revali answered. “Until my idiot feels better.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For once, I won't leave you with cliffhangers that last for weeks because I already have the next part written! 
> 
> But also I cannot stress enough - I mcfreaking love Sidon and Reba and their FRIENDSHIP, OKAY. 
> 
> Also RIP to Revali's ghost when he looks at Sidon - who he has begrudgingly called "The Twirp" for as long as he has known Sidon - and realizes that he is...he is the OPPOSITE of a twirp. He is a BIG GAY HANDSOME. 
> 
> (Also also also, the first time I ever wrote young Sidon was before the DLC's came out and revealed just HOW SMALL he was...so...for my own sanity, I'm sticking with my original headcanon that puts him at around 10 years old when the Calamity hit. Which doesn't fit as well for the whole 'I was so young I barely remember Link' bullshit, but I have a gag for that and it involves 1) Sidon's memory being chronically terrible and 2) every Hylian Sidon has ever met being named 'Link' thanks to anxioussailorsoldier)


	10. Something Old, Something New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidon and Link sit down and go through the pictures tucked away in the chest. As they do, they each begin to recall a very special day together. Heart grow fonder, vows are made, families begin and grow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: Sidon and Link start off the chapter rather ~s e x u a l l y a r o u s e d~ together. 
> 
> Oh finally some fluff and comedy. This fic was supposed to be comedy central and then the plotbunny beat me upside the head. Oops. 
> 
> OH WELL! Welcome back to the Revalink Train, this chapter is a lot of much needed Revalink.

Link felt his eyes flutter open, then he felt a pang of sadness that he couldn’t place. Then, the physical weight of his Emotional Support Shark sleeping soundly on his chest lifted his mood. Grinning to himself, Link held Sidon’s sleeping form until he arose. When sunlight began dancing in through the window, Sidon’s eyes fluttered open and he groaned. “Mmmm--good morning, Love.”

“G’morning,” Link mumbled contently to himself, frowning a little when Sidon sat up and got off of him. “Wait, come back!”

“I gotta pee,” Sidon whined, looking back at Link with an adorably pathetic expression. 

“Well, come back after you do, I wanna have sex,” Link whined, holding his arms out to make grabby hands at his boyfriend. Sidon, in turn, quirked up a smile and a playful glint in his eye. 

“How hungover are you?”

“Mmmmnot at all?” Link mumbled to himself.

“Uh-huh,” Sidon’s head tipped to the side. “Have you tried sitting up yet?”

“Nooooo?” Link giggled, still making grabby hands.

“Are you still drunk or are you just being a brat?” Sidon placed his hands on his hips. “Because if you’re being a brat, that is  _ my _ job, thank you.”

“I know you’re a brat, you brat!” Link kept whining, feeling a little light-headed. He might’ve still been drunk, honestly. “Please come back.”

“I haven’t peed yet!”

“Then go pee!”

“I am!” 

Link pouted the minute Sidon darted down the stairs to the bathroom. He sighed heavily when he noted that Sidon absolutely forgot to shut the door as the sounds of his poor fish having to fold in half just to fit on the tiny toilet seat echoed through the house. Even though Sidon smacked his forehead into the doorframe, he pissed in record time and suddenly Sidon was jaunting merrily up the stairs. 

And his dicks were out. 

“Come to meeee, Baby!” Link cheered, star-fishing so hard he flung the blanket off the bed. Sidon dove headfirst into Link’s embrace, his entire body rumbling with purrs. Link held him tightly, kissing the top of his head before promptly flipping his sweet prince onto his back. Sidon gasped as Link moved him, his cheeks flushed. Link didn’t want too many of those sweet moans to get lost, however, so he leaned forward to seal their lips with a deep, passionate kiss. 

Sidon gasped, and Link felt air hiss against his legs as it left Sidon’s gills. Sliding his tongue into Sidon’s mouth, Link hummed merrily and turned his head. But suddenly, Sidon pulled away with a snicker. 

“What?” Link frowned, blinking as he watched Sidon’s face turn away in his giggles. 

“It tickles!” Sidon whined. Link kept frowning, trying to kiss him again, but every time their faces brushed up against each other, Sidon pulled away with more giggles. 

“What tickles?” Link whined, just wanting to make out with his boyfriend. 

“Your scruff!” Sidon snickered. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! It’s just the right length since you forgot to shave yesterday and--Link, that tickles!” 

“Oh what, you don’t like...this?” Link asked, then dipped his head to rub his entire face against the base of Sidon’s neck. His boyfriend  _ shrieked, _ trying to pull away from Link but had nowhere to go when he smashed up against the wall while Link continued rubbing his prickly fucking face against Sidon’s scales.

“Link!! LINK--stohohoooop!” Sidon cried out. Link almost didn’t relent, but when Sidon accidentally bashed his face so hard into the wall that their family picture fell on top of him, Link did give it up out of pity. Even though Sidon was giggling through it, when he covered his face, Link felt a little bad. He felt less bad when Sidon looked up at him with a big dopey smile on his face and whined, “You’re so mean!”

“I am not!” Link whined back. “I’m just trying to kiss you and you keep making fun of my facial hair!” 

“I’m just trying to kiss you and your facial hair keeps tickling me!” 

“Well fine! I’ll use it to tickle your dicks then!” Link bit back, and he felt Sidon recoil suddenly from lust. Sitting back against two suddenly very wet ding-dongs, Link couldn’t help but grin, “Getting impatient?”

Sidon pouted up at Link, wrapping one hand around his waist while sliding the other up his chest. Link couldn’t hold back his own moans, and Sidon gave such a beautiful smile. “You started this.”

“Yeah,” Link breathed, leaning forward to kiss Link again. He reached behind to grab hold of Sidon, and that beautiful man broke the kiss to moan in pleasure. Smiling, Link couldn’t wait any longer either. So he went down on Sidon, making sure they were both  _ adamantly _ satisfied in time for breakfast. 

* * *

Okay, so Link was definitely still drunk when they fucked because he was hungover now. 

“There you are,” Sidon hummed delicately, placing an ice pack over Link’s forehead. Link sat upright on the couch, only because moving in any capacity made him want to vomit. Still, he appreciated Sidon’s sweet smile as he pressed a kiss to Link’s cheek. “Hopefully that’ll help. Do you have an appetite? I can go grab something on my way to pick Nami up.”

“That’s okay,” Link sighed dejectedly. “I’m not really hungry.”

“Are you sure?” Sidon asked, looking up at the clock hanging on the wall. “We still have an hour before her friend’s mom said we could come get her. You might feel better by then.”

“I’ll keep you posted,” Link whined, then slipped an eye open, “By the way...how are you not hungover?”

“Me?” Sidon grinned, curling up next to Link carefully, “Well, for one I am a Zora and Zora have much higher alcohol tolerances. For another, I am over twice your size so therefore have a higher tolerance. And third, I didn’t drink  _ nearly _ as much as you did.”

“Higher tolerance--? Bullshit, Sidon!” Link snapped, feeling his ears flatten when he bopped Sidon on the snoot. “You got absolutely  _ blasted _ with me the first time you were in Hateno!” 

Sidon stared at Link in confusion, blinking several times with a sigh, “I...did. That’s because I drank so much I blacked out.”

“Yeah! You blacked out! And you were keeping pace with me!” Link pointed to him, then paused as a startling realization hit him, “...weren’t you?”

“Link I--” Sidon started, looked down, then blushed, “I don’t think you realize how many shots I was taking every time you ran to the bathroom.”

Link didn’t want to think about the mental image of Sidon taking shots because the concept of taking shots made Link sick to his stomach. “Oh Hylia.”

“That’s why I don’t let you pay my bill, Link,” Sidon shrugged. 

“I’m a lightweight,” Link gaped, feeling his soul leave his body. 

“No! No, you are not a lightweight!” Sidon shook his head. 

“Well, how would you know!?” Link hiccuped a little - was he still drunk? - and threw a pillow in his boyfriend’s direction. “You’re--bagh--you’re a  _ zora _ with an alcohol tolerance!” 

Sidon’s straight face scrunched with a smile when he started giggling, leaning into a now pouting Link. Link tried not to let Sidon humor him, but when Sidon wrapped his arms around Link’s waist, he couldn’t help but melt. The two sighed, then held each other for a few minutes in content silence. 

Link would’ve stayed like that for hours had Sidon not needed to pick up Nami. He would’ve stayed there until the last possible second had his gaze not fallen to the little chest on the kitchen table: “What’s that?”

“Hmm? Oh--” Sidon noted, his expression almost immediately falling. “Listen--Link...I uh...I couldn’t sleep last night so I was poking around in the cellar and I found that.”

“Okay,” Link felt his hand fall to his lap. “What’s...inside of it?”

“Um…” Sidon’s expression just kept falling and Link was almost worried. “Well, before I tell you, I need a quick update on where you are at in the whole Revali thing. Like--what’s the last thing you remember?”

“I...well, fuck Sidon, it’s not like shit comes back to me in chronological order!” Link bitched back. 

“Let me rephrase - how involved do you remember being with him?” Sidon crossed his arms. 

“I don’t  _ know, _ Sidon!” Link whined, hating the knots that were forming in his stomach for reasons other than the hangover. “I’m sorry!”

“Do you...remember what you told me last night?” Sidon asked. For once, he didn’t look distressed or anxious. He just had that same look he got on his face when he was trying to help Nami find something she had misplaced. Which didn’t make Link feel any better, but at least it was an improvement. 

“I…” Link tried to search his memories of the night before. He remembered mentioning something about the weird statue (oh, fuck) and...telling Sidon that they could just elope and have fish babies, but…. “I--no?”

“Oh boy,” Sidon ducked his head. “Well, do you want to wait until you remember--?”

“Sidon just show me whatever the fuck is in the chest,” Link crossed his arms. Sidon gave Link a look, sighed, then visibly mustered up the strength to go grab it. He moved slowly - almost in slow motion - as he plucked the chest off the table, opened it, and pulled out a stack of parchment. He then returned to the couch, sitting carefully beside Link with a pinched expression. 

“These...are photographs,” Sidon glanced down, holding the stack of parchment - no, pictures - to Link. “They look like they were taken from the original sheikah slate - the one you used in your travels to defeat Ganon - and...well, I think I know where you got your earrings!” 

Sidon’s lips lifted into a smile and a nervous laugh as he placed the pictures in Link’s hands, though he still looked anxious. Near tears, even. Link glanced down at the first photograph in the stack, and he felt a sob almost immediately catch in his throat when he saw Mipha’s bright eyes smiling back at him. 

“Oh wow,” Link gasped as he held the photo up. She stood in between Link and Revali, although he wasn’t sure what they both looked so bitchy about. Link flipped through to another photograph, and this one featured Mipha holding a very young, very small Prince Sidon. “Oh my gosh! Sidon, you’re so  _ small!” _

“Yeah?” Sidon chuckled, his eyes sparkling with tears. He leaned his head against Link’s, and gasped, “It’s funny--I remember traveling to Rito Village with her for this day...I just...I was so young and naive I didn’t even realize what the celebration was for!”

“Celebration?” Link asked, then he flipped to another picture. In this one, Urbosa was laughing smugly while she pierced Link’s ear, and suddenly a memory came to him.

_ “Would you hold still?” Urbosa lectured, “This won’t go any faster if you squirm.” _

_ “I know, I know--OW!” Link yelped as she pushed the needle through. On his lap, Reba jumped with him. Beside him, he heard Purah snap the fucking camera while she cackled at his expense.  _

_ “Is he okay?” Reba asked, looking up nervously at Link.  _

_ “He’s alright, Littlest Bird,” Urbosa smiled warmly down at Reba, who shyly ducked her face against Link’s chest. “He’s just being a big baby about it is all.” _

_ “It HURTS!” Link snapped. “Can’t you put the hoops in now?” _

_ “No, those are the equivalent of Hylian wedding bands, you can change them out when you say your vows,” Urbosa lectured. “You’re the one who said you wanted earrings.” _

_ “You’re also the one who said you wanted to wait to pierce your ears until right before the ceremony,” Purah pointed out. “Okay, one more shot!”  _

_ “I’d rather not!” Link snapped, but he paused when he felt a little feathery hand tapping his chest. “Oh--yes, Reba?” _

_ “Do you want to hold my hand for the second one?” Reba asked so sweetly, and Link couldn’t exactly say no. _

Link came out of the flashback with a gasp, then realized Sidon was holding him tightly. Panting, he looked up to Sidon, then back down at the photograph, “This was--this was my  _ wedding day?” _

Sidon responded by holding Link tighter, kissing the top of his head. Blinking, Link felt himself sniffling as another memory struck him: “Y-you were there too?”

“I think so, but it was so long ago,” Sidon admitted. “I remember traveling with Mipha for some...party. She was very tightlipped about what it was and if your sexuality was received poorly by your father and King Rhoam then I understand why.”

Link kept wiping his eyes, but he couldn’t stop crying. “I think--Sidon, did your sister have you be the ring bearer?”

Sidon’s eyes flickered for a moment, but all sense of recognition left his gaze. “The what?”

“The--you know how in weddings, where there’s a little flower girl and a little boy who’s the ring bearer?”

“No?” Sidon kept blinking. “There’s a presentation of the sapphires during the ceremony. And the Bride’s family gifts the Groom his armor shortly after but--hang on, is that when you had me carry your little craft beads on a velvet  _ pillow?” _

Link started to ask Sidon what the hell he was talking about, but then another flashback hit him that made things click into place: 

_ “I’m supposed to be a what now?” Sidon asked, rocking on his heels.  _

_ “I’m with the kid,” Bazz admitted, placing his hands on his hips looking to Link, “What the hell is a ring bearer?” _

_ “It’s--” Link gestured vaguely to the little pillow that held both his earrings and Revali’s beading. Waving his hands frantically, he tried to explain, “You carry the pillow down the aisle when Urbosa tells you to and then you--you hold it up for us to swap the beads!” _

_ “But...why is it called a ring bearer?” Sidon asked, thinking way too hard about this.  _

_ “It’s a Hylian thing, Hylians usually do this with rings--” _

_ “But there are no rings on the pillow,” Sidon explained, “I mean there are these little hoop things but those aren’t rings.” _

_ “It’s an expression, Sidon!” Link gasped, losing his patience. “Just--don’t think too hard on it.” _

_ Sidon still had that same firm, pouty expression on his face. Looking back down at the pillow, he shrugged, “Well--okay, I guess. But there are no rings and this is an awfully fancy pillow for an arts and crafts project.” _ _ “Oh heavens,” Mipha covered her face. Looking up to the sky, she visibly counted to ten while Link’s handiwork got shamed so hard he nearly astral projected. When Mipha looked back down at her brother, she was smiling but her sanity was hanging on by a thread. “Sidon, sweetie, can you  _ please _ just follow Link’s directions without too much commentary today?” _

_ “I guess I can,” Sidon looked down at the beads, poking at them. “But seriously, Link, why didn’t you ask my Dad to help if you were trying to make something? He could’ve at least helped you make it prettier.” _

_ “Because it’s a  _ tradition!” _ Link blurted, unable to process that his ass was being dragged by the kid.  _

The minute it dawned on both Sidon and Link, one boyfriend was laughing while another was whinging and smacking a certain critical asshole with a pillow. 

“Oh Sweet Goddess Above, I am so sorry!” Sidon  _ cackled.  _ He laughed so hard that he started crying and nearly fell out of his seat. “Ohohoho NOOOO!”

“Sidon you fucking asshole!” Link cried out, smacking Sidon in the face with more pillow. “And I can say that now! I can say what was on my mind and Mipha can’t fucking stop me!” 

“You--YOU GAVE REVALI A FUCKING CRAFT PROJECT FOR YOUR VOWS!” Sidon screamed in laughter, this time falling onto the floor while he held his sides. 

“I worked really hard on those, you know!” Link was on his knees beating Sidon with the pillow. “They have you carve those fucking beads from scratch! I spent like a month making them!” 

“I BET YOU DID!” Sidon cried out, and as pissed as Link was that he was making fun of him and his lack of craftiness, he had to admit that it was nice seeing Sidon laughing this hard and this freely for a change. “Ohhhhhhhh Farore, give me strength, I’m sorry! I--they did look  _ really good _ once Revali put them on but ohhhhh my goodness, I can still remember looking at them on the pillow and just--here was this immaculately carved out pair of earrings laying right next to a pair of SHITTY PERLER BEADS! HAHAHA!” 

Sidon kept laughing, and Link realized that the more he tried to defend himself, the more room Sidon would have to just completely drag his ass. Man...the beading was hard enough, he was gonna be fucked when it came time to carve out Sidon’s sapphire…

Allowing Sidon his fit of laughter, Link kept looking through the photos and memories slowly started to come back to him from that day. Reba’s adorable little crown of roses as she skipped down the aisle. Sidon...dragging Link’s craftsmanship through the dirt and Revali encouraging him. Revali’s sparkling emerald eyes, the way his voice caught a little when he spoke his vows and the way he subsequently squawked in laughter when Link couldn’t get the hoop earrings in. 

But as Link searched through the gaps in his memory, he started flipping through the photos more frantically: “Did...my mom ever make it?”

“Hm?” Sidon looked up suddenly, his bright golden eyes twinkling with that joyful sparkle. “Yes? I thought so. I seem to remember that visit as the first time I met Clara.”

Link frowned, his eyes beginning to sting with tears when he found a letter at the bottom of the stack in his mother’s handwriting. He read her frantic apologies and lengthy explanation of the argument she’d had with his father over and over again, as he pieced his own despondent memories together - how they had delayed the ceremony by three whole days thanks to Link’s moping - his heart started to break all over again. Handing the letter to Sidon, he asked, “Are you sure?”

Sidon reclined against the couch, draping a long arm over Link’s lap as he took the letter. Scanning the pages, he got that serious, pouty expression that meant he had fallen into deep, contemplative thought. Pursing his lips, Sidon hummed, “I still think she made it.”

“Sidon, you barely remember what you had for breakfast, much less what happened a hundred years ago,” Link rolled his eyes. Sidon gave Link a small glare as he snatched the photo stack out of Link’s other hand. “I mean--fuck, Sidon, you didn’t even remember me when we met!” 

“Do you have any idea how many Hylians named Link I have encountered over the course of my lifetime!?” Sidon snapped back. “There’s a lot okay! Now--here, just look at this photo and tell me this isn’t from the same day.”

Link frowned, taking the photo Sidon had pulled from the stack. He glanced down at it, then paused first at Revali’s actually genuine smile as he held Reba. Then he scanned over to where a younger, much less confident version of himself stood with an arm wrapped around Revali’s shoulder. Then he paused at the blonde woman on his other side, beaming as she hugged Link by the shoulders.

Link felt his eyes widen, and he couldn’t swallow the lump in his throat when he tearfully gasped, “M-Mom?”

Beside him, Sidon placed a gentle hand on his knee, assuring, “She was there, Link. She made it.”

He didn’t know why the memory that came to him brought him to tears, but suddenly Link needed to be held. And he needed to be held by Sidon. Coughing up a sob, he buried his face into Sidon’s shoulder, letting Sidon brush out his hair and whisper words of reassurance. 

* * *

_ “Where’s Revali?” Link asked nervously, pacing back and forth across the landing. “The ceremony’s in less than twenty minutes!”  _

_ “Calm down, he said he just had to run an errand,” Urbosa assured.  _

_ “But he said he’d be here,” Link signed nervously, unable to focus. “He--is he standing me up?” _

_ “He wouldn’t do that,” Mipha assured, following Link’s pacing as she tried to hover over him. Her hands kept fluttering above his shoulders, but then Link would turn and start pacing in the other direction. The logical part of him felt bad, but he just couldn’t stay still.  _

_ “Maybe he just doesn’t want to marry me anymore,” Link started to reason. “I’m--I’m a lot. And I almost cancelled the wedding over my own mother. That’s kind of a dick move! It’s fine! I’m okay if he doesn’t want to--” _

_ “LINK!” Bazz finally snapped, swinging his trident to smack it over the top of Link’s head. The force of the impact almost flung Link off the side of the landing, and when he looked back up, Bazz didn’t even seem like he regretted it. “Are you listening to yourself? You’re being ridiculous.” _

_ “But--” _

_ “Revali will make it,” Mipha nodded, finally placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure there is a good reason as to why he is late.”  _

_ “But what if he’s just gone?” Link blurted, his hands trembling so bad he couldn’t even sign. Oh great. This was gonna be just great. In front of him, Bazz and Mipha both exchanged unreadable glances, and when they looked back to him Bazz seemed to internally give up part of his soul right then and there.  _

_ “I know Revali said to keep him sober but…” Bazz started.  _

_ “He can have one drink,” Urbosa sighed, shaking her head. “But for the love of all that is good do not give that boy anything with cream in it.” _

_ Mipha visibly recoiled at the thought, only improving Link’s mood. Still, she grabbed Link by the shoulders and pushed him back up the stairs towards where the rest of the party was getting ready. Several Rito gave Link wide-eyed, frantic expressions while simultaneously looking up to the clock. And that really didn’t help. But Mipha kept marching him forward up the stairs to where Reba and Sidon were both playing. Well...they had been playing, but Reba was very intent on keeping the flower crown that Impa made her intact. So now Sidon was hovering over her trying to smooth some of the roses out. There was an oddly warm and fuzzy feeling that bubbled up in Link’s chest when he watched the two, and maybe if he was any less riddled with anxiety in that moment he would have allowed himself to sit in that feeling.  _

_ But no, Link was convinced his fiance was about to leave him at the altar and Mipha was sitting him down at a bar, away from the noise while Bazz dove behind the bar to fetch some handles from the shelves.  _

_ “Shouldn’t we...wait for someone?” Mipha asked.  _

_ “It’s fine, I bartended in college,” Bazz grunted, “Just leave a tip and I’m sure it’ll be fine.” _

_ “It doesn’t sound like it’ll be fine, Bazz--” _

_ “Mipha, I swear to Din that I know what I’m doing, even if it isn’t entirely legal,” Bazz interjected as he pulled out a clean glass and expertly flipped it and set it on the bar. “Aight, Urbosa said one drink, but she didn’t say how many shots can be within the drink. So I’m making it a double.” _

_ “Bazz!” Mipha scolded, leaning against the bar. Link also couldn’t help but notice the way she uh, brushed at her head fin and batted her eyes up at him in spite of her protest. “He can’t be drunk at his own wedding!” _

_ “Eh, it’s gonna start late anyway,” Bazz rolled his eyes. Then he  _ winked _ at Mipha. Link looked from Mipha to Bazz who was no expertly and extraly flipping bottles before pouring them into the glass. Link didn’t know much about bartending. He wasn’t even legal in Hyrule yet, but he was fairly certain that the tricks Bazz was performing while making the drink was completely and entirely unnecessary.  _

_...was he flirting with Mipha?  _

_ Bazz slapped another kind of cup over the first glass, inverted it, and then began shaking the entire concoction in a way that reminded Link how extremely gay he was. But also as Link did a double take at the blush Mipha was now trying to cover while Bazz made solid eye contact with her, he realized that they were definitely flirting.  _

_ Before Link even had time to ask, Bazz suddenly strained the drink into yet another glass, then slid it in Link’s direction, “There you go! This one’s called...Liquid Courage! And if you need another one, I can make you a blowjob shot.” _

_ “A what?!” Link nearly choked on his straw before he could even take a drink. Bazz stared at Link for a moment, then looked over to Mipha.  _

_ “I forget he’s younger than us,” Bazz admitted. “I mean I know he is. But I still forget.” _

_ “Me too,” Mipha hummed. “But also--please don’t make him anything else.” _

_ “Why not?” _

_ “That was absolutely more than two shots in the drink.” _

_ “No it wasn’t!”  _

_ “Sweet fucking Hylia, you two sound like a bickering married couple,” Link whined, sucking down his drink like water. Oh this was absolutely going to knock him on his ass. Mipha and Bazz both turned to him, gave him a look, but largely ignored that topic for the sake of anything else that could distract Link.  _

_ Fortunately (or unfortunately), Link had time to suck that drink down, get drunk, wave off every disgruntled Rito asking where the hell Revali was and reminding him that their ceremony was late starting, and then sober back up, before he heard any news of where Revali was possibly hiding.  _

_ “Fucking chicken and his cold ass feet,” Link mumbled to himself tearfully, “Who even needs to get married, huh?!” _

_ “Link, I’m sure it’s fine,” Mipha patted his back.  _

_ “IT DOESN’T LOOK VERY FINE!” Link felt his eyes bug out of his head. Was he about to have a nervous breakdown? He felt like he was about to have a nervous breakdown. That was fine. This was all fine.  _

_ It wasn’t fine but he was telling himself it was fine.  _

_ The door swung open suddenly, and Link knew he was still a little tipsy because he nearly flung himself off the barstool when he spun around. Standing in the doorway, Urbosa gave the three of them a stern glare, “That was more than one drink you made him.” _

_ “It was one drink!” Bazz defended.  _

_ “And how many shots were in it?” Urbosa crossed her arms.  _

_ “T-two?” Mipha admitted feebly. Urbosa scoffed, rocking her head back slightly, but then shook it off.  _

_ “Okay, that’s fine, we’re already late,” she sighed. “In any case, Revali’s here. He just got back so he’ll need time to change.” _

_ “He is?!” Link leapt up to his feet, feeling a nerve snap, “WHERE THE HELL WAS HE?!”  _

_ At that, Urbosa gave a smug grin and winked, “Why don’t you go out to the landing and find out?” _

_ “What is that supposed to mean?” Link signed flippantly. _

_ “It’s a surprise,” Urbosa shrugged, “Come on, let’s go.” _

_ “Oh for fuck’s sake,” Link spat as Urbosa took his hand and physically dragged him back down the stairs. “He fucking--he’s several hours late because he forgot to get me a wedding gift?!”  _

_ “It wasn’t so much that he forgot,” Urbosa shrugged.  _

_ “I’m gonna kill him,” Link spat, all but sprinting down the stairs at the rate Urbosa tugged him along. He didn’t know why she was pulling him along so quickly, but when Link looked to the side at a familiarly pompous Rito covering his face, he almost exploded, “REVALI YOU FUCKING PRICK YOU’RE LATE!”  _

_ “HEY! It’s not my fault we got held up by a pack of lynels!” Revali threw his wings up, “It’s bad luck to see the groom before the wedding, asshat!”  _

_ “YOU WON’T NEED ANY LUCK WHEN I BEAT YOUR ASS!” Link roared, and he would’ve beaten Revali’s ass had it not been for Urbosa’s vise grip around his waist. It really was depressing that Link - Hero of Hyrule - could be plucked so easily off the ground and restrained by one Gerudo Chief.  _

_ “Well beat my ass if you’re still mad at me just--go down to the dressing room by the landing!” Revali snapped. “Fuck!”  _

_ Link roared in frustration, and he only made it down the stairs after that because Urbosa carried him kicking and screaming over her shoulder. “I’m gonna kill him! I’m gonna fucking kill him!”  _

_ “No you won’t, you are going to get your act together before you mess up your hair!” Urbosa lectured, all but dropping Link on his ass. “Now calm down!”  _

_ Link glared defiantly up at Urbosa while she glared sternly back down at him. She paused after a moment, then her eye twitched, “Hang on, you have a smudge on your face--” _

_ “Ew--No--Urbosa, don’t--” Link stuttered, nearly vomiting when Urbosa licked her thumb and wiped her Mom Friend Spit all over his face in the name of cleanliness.  _

_ “Calm your tits, Link, I’m just doing you a favor,” Urbosa rolled her eyes. Before Link even had a chance to protest, she grabbed him by the shoulders, spun him around, and shoved him through the doorway, “Now go greet your mother!” _

_ “Greet my--” Link started, but then his heart stopped in his chest when he saw Impa furiously helping his own mother change into dress attire that matched Link’s suit while Zelda -  _ Princess Zelda - _ brushed out her long hair.  _

_ “Please, Your Highness,” Mom blushed nervously, “You don’t need to trouble yourself!”  _

_ “Nonsense!” Zelda grinned, “This reminds me of when my mother and I would take turns brushing out each other’s hair...besides, you don’t have much time to get ready for the big moment!”  _

_ “You really are too kind,” Mom shook her head, and Link stood frozen for several more moments as she sat there, not yet aware of his presence. He stood frozen while Zelda tied her hair back into a braided updo, then clipped it into place with a beautiful barrett lined with crystals. When mom turned to take the gown Impa handed her, she then looked up. When her eyes fell onto Link, she froze with an equally stunned expression. “L-Link?” _

_ “Mom?” Link blinked away the tears as he took a hesitant step forward, “Wh-what are you doing here?” _

_ "I--uh--” Mom stuttered, glancing down nervously as she blinked away her own tears, “Well...Revali came to get me. He flew in first thing this morning.” _

_ “He--he did?” Link gasped, looking to Impa and Zelda who were both beaming with excitement.  _

_ “He told us not to say anything, but yeah he left last night,” Impa grinned, “Since, you know, you two were spending the night with your parties he figured he could sneak away.” _

_ “But I thought--I thought Dad--” Link looked back to his mom who was now staring tensely at the floor. She sucked in a breath, then met Link’s gaze.  _

_ “Your father--Geoff wanted me to choose between my own son and my marriage,” Mom explained. Forcing a smile, she barely held back her tears, “Link you have and always will be my whole world.” _

_ “But--hang on!” Link took a step forward, taking his mother into an embrace, “If Geoff is seriously making you choose--what’ll happen if he finds out?! What about your house? Where will you go?” _

_ “Well...that’s the thing,” Mom bit her lip, “He uh...he was there when Revali arrived. It was a pretty ugly spat between the two of them, honestly.” _

_ “Oh Hylia,” Link pinched the bridge of his nose, suddenly looking out the door to where Revali had disappeared to. Was he okay? It didn’t turn into an actual fight, did it? Ohhhh, Link needed to go check on him-- _

_ “He’s okay, Link,” Mom assured, sensing Link’s distress. She gently cupped Link’s face in her hand and turned him back to face her. “And...well, technically the house  _ is _ mine. It’s been in my family since my grandfather built it.” _

_ “But--Mom, won’t you be lonely?” Link took hold of the hand that was still cupping his cheek. It brought him to tears just to think about the possibility of her returning to an empty home all for some silly wedding. “I mean--when you go back to Hateno--” _

_ “Who said I was going back?” Mom asked, caught herself, then jumped and looked away, “I--I mean! You boys need to talk it over, it was just that...well, Revali suggested that….” _

_ Mom trailed off, and suddenly Link was crying for very different reasons. “What did Revali tell you?” _

_ “He said that...he offered to let me stay with you boys,” Mom admitted, “He said if you were okay with it, well, Hateno could be our vacation home from now on. If you’d like. I mean, I did promise to help you with that little girl, didn’t I?”  _

_ Link stared at his mom through blurry, tearful vision as she rambled, and he couldn’t help but whimper a little bit as he nodded his head.  _

_ Mom’s brow furrowed slightly, her ears getting all droopy when she asked, “Are...you okay with that? Goodness, Link, I didn’t mean to make you cry!”  _

_ “I love that!” Link finally cried out, pulling his mother into a sob. They held each other for several minutes, and a sudden weight finally lifted off of Link’s shoulders as he clung to his mother. He only pulled out of the hug because she did, and she did so to brush his bangs out of his face and wipe his tears.  _

_ “Ohhh, Link! You messed up your hair again!” Impa huffed suddenly, breaking the two up. “Come here, let me fix it so your mom can change.” _

_ “Oh--sorry,” Link grunted as Impa took a comb hastily to his tangled blond locks. Mom simply laughed, smiling brighter than he had seen in years. As Impa drug him out of the changing room, he couldn’t help but pause and ask, “Hey, Mom?” _

_ “What is it, sweetie?” Mom asked.  _

_ Link felt a pool of anxiety form in his stomach as he debated the question. Biting his lip, he decided to just go for it: “Can you...teach me how to cook for Revali and Reba?” _

_ He half expected to be scolded, the same way his father had done many times before. But instead, his mother beamed at him and grinned, “I would love to!”  _

* * *

_ Link bounced nervously on his heels. The ceremony was starting three hours later than it was supposed to and he hadn’t seen Revali since his angry outburst. It was now late afternoon, Sidon was bitching about Link’s poor craftsmanship on his beading, Reba wasn’t agreeing with him, but she wasn’t disagreeing with him either, and Impa had to fix his hair three different times because he couldn’t stop pacing and the wind kept blowing hastily across the village.  _

_ Holy fuck, he was about to get married.  _

_ “You ready?” Mom asked, patting Link’s arm. _

_ “I’m ready to vomit,” Link admitted, his voice feeling strained.  _

_ “I think you’re ready!” Reba chimed in proudly. She looked just so sweet in her little flower crown and her basket. “And you’re very handsome!”  _

_ “The handsomest!” Sidon chimed, almost throwing the pillow with the literal symbols of their vows over his head. He caught himself, thankfully, and held the pillow closer to his chest. “Oops! We’re good!”  _

_ “Sidon, I swear to every Goddess Above,” Link felt his eye twitch. Sidon simply grinned playfully back up at him. Damn kid was about to hit some sort or preteen hell, Link just knew it. Mom, on the other hand, placed a kiss to Link’s cheek and chuckled to herself.  _

_ “It’ll be alright, Link,” Mom assured. “I’m with you.” _

_ Link looked anxiously back to Mom, then nodded his head. He watched little Reba go through the doors, biting his lip at all the cooing and awwing at how precious she was. Then he looked up to one of the officials who stared expectantly at him. “You ready?” one of them asked.  _

_ Link took several more bated breaths, but as his mom gave his bicep another reassuring squeeze, Link nodded his head, “I’m ready.” _

_ The doors opened, giving way to the small chapel just outside of the village. Awaiting them stood Zelda and Impa beaming excitedly at the two of them walking down the aisle. At the altar stood Reba with her little flower basket, her eyes glittering as she smiled and bounced around Sidon who was now yawning and leaning up against his sister. Urbosa’s tall head stood out as she smiled, holding a book in hand with her script for the ceremony. Bazz stood by an empty space as Link’s Best Man while Mipha stood on the other side of Revali as the Maid of Honor. And Revali...well, Link felt the world come to a standstill when he locked eyes with Revali’s bright, glittery expression.  _

_ Link reached the front of the aisle, and Urbosa was beaming when she began, “My dear friends, we have gathered here on this beautiful day to join two of our dearest friends - our people’s greatest heroes - Link and Revali together in holy matrimony. It is with great honor that we have all bore witness to their growing love and devotion to one another as they take their next step in life together as a married couple. But first, I must ask: who gives our Hero to be wedded to Master Revali?” _

_ “I do,” Mom whispered, patting Link on the back. Link turned to face her, and his mother looked so beautiful and so  _ happy _ in that moment.  _

_ “And, My Lady,” Urbosa grinned, “Do you have any words you would like to share before you do?” _

_ “Just that,” Mom shook her head, her smile was just so bright. “I am so grateful to you, Revali. And Link--I am so proud of you. I love you boys so much and I am so honored to be your mother.” _

_ “Mooom,” Link felt the waterworks starting all over again, he almost didn’t want to let go of her hand. But he allowed himself to after he gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. When he turned back to face Revali, to take his hands, the damn pigeon was making a strained face and looking up at the lights as if he were trying not to cry. Link bit back a snicker, “Are you crying?” _

_ “Shuddup,” Revali spat back. “I was prepared to get a husband, I wasn’t prepared to get a mom so just shut up.” _

_ There was a wave of stifled giggles in a failed attempt to protect Revali’s ego, but Link was honestly left breathless as he spoke his vows, blissfully unaware of anything around him aside from the beautiful Rito in front of him. That is, he didn’t regain awareness of his surroundings until Urbosa said a second time, “Um...may I have the beadings, please?” _

_ Link looked up, ready to nudge a possibly distracted Sidon forward, but when he looked down to where Sidon had been, the kid had seemingly vanished in thin air. Actually...he and Reba were both gone. Revali seemed to snap back to reality as his head darted around behind Link, then behind him, and Revali bit back a scoff, “Oh--Reba!” _

_ “Shhhh!” Mom hushed them suddenly. “It’s alright, we started late!”  _

_ “What--” Link looked over to her, then realized that Reba and Sidon had somehow, in the span of not even ten minutes, wandered over to where Mom was sitting and passed out cold in her lap. It was honestly kind of silly looking, to see a young Zora and a young Rito curled up against Mom’s tiny Hylian frame. But she looked blissed out in heaven and Link didn’t have the heart to wake them. But he also couldn’t help but laugh.  _

_ “Oh my word,” Mipha smacked her hand to her face, “And of course he left the pillow on the stairs! I--I’m so sorry!” _

_ Link doubled over with laughter, ducking his face into Revali’s chest. Revali seemed to relax as well, then suddenly the fit of giggles he broke out into sent Link’s heart soaring. “Well,” Revali snorted, “It wouldn’t be our wedding if something ridiculous didn’t happen!”  _

_ “You’re right, we were getting too sappy with each other,” Link wiped the tears from his eyes. “Although, I thought that would derail when you saw how shitty my beadings are and started commenting on it.”  _

_ “Your--” Revali squinted at Link, then looked down at the pillow being held out to him for his first chance at examining the gathering that Link had made. His eyes crinkled a little bit with laughter as he sputtered, “Oh no! Link!”  _

_ “I tried!” Link wheezed. “I really really tried!”  _

_ “You fucking imbecile, they’re perfect!” Revali giggled, trying and failing to hold still so Link could braid the beadings into his hair. “I--Mipha, make sure this jackass secures it correctly I don’t trust him!”  _

_ “I’m trying! I’m trying my best!” Link giggled uncontrollably, but taking Mipha’s helping hand as she secured the gathering better than Link ever could have. “They’re a piece of shit, but they’re a piece of shit that I did my best on!” _

_ “Well--I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I wouldn’t want my gathering any other way,” Revali chuckled. “I--I love you, Link.” _

_ “Yeah, I love you too, Asshole,” Link winked back. Revali shook his head, then took the earrings in hand to help Link into them. Link managed to get the little studs out just fine, however, when Revali started poking Link with the base of the hoop, he flinched away. “OW!” _

_ “Hold still before the piercing closes,” Revali lectured.  _

_ “Owwww, I don’t wanna,” Link kept flinching away. Revali’s smile fell back into a scowl.  _

_ “Link, for fuck’s sake--” _

_ “Okay, okay, let me do it!” Link protested. Revali handed the hoops to him, but Link somehow did worse at avoiding injury while he poked at his earlobes until they were on fire. “...it’s not working.” _

_ “You’re not pushing through hard enough, Link,” Revali pointed out.  _

_ “Ha! Say that again later when we’re consummating our marriage,” Link grinned, and Revali all but tackled him to the ground. “HEY!”  _

_ “Just--hold still so I can put these fucking earrings in!” _

_ “No!”  _

_ “Ohhhh Hylia have mercy,” Mipha covered her face as the idiots tumbled. Link didn’t intend to swing a punch at Revali. It was a habit at this point. But at least he stopped himself from swinging the second one.  _

_ “Would it really be their wedding if they didn’t try to beat each other up?” Urbosa groaned.  _

_ “Here--I’ll hold Link down so Revali can get the earrings in,” Daruk offered, getting out of his seat suddenly. “C’mere, Little Guy!” _

_ “NO! Daruk--I’m good!” Link protested, but Daruk wasn’t about to be stopped from scooping Link into a bear hug while Revali impaled Link’s ears with a pair of earrings.  _

_ “Fucking  _ hell!” _ Revali spat, “Are you done being a little bitch yet?! Can we move on now?” _

_ “Yeeeees,” Link whined, pinching at his now very sore ears. Revali swatted his hands away from his ears after a minute, then forcefully took his hands when he kept trying to reach for them. Link was still pouting when Urbosa prompted him to say his vows, but he had to admit that he choked himself up once or twice as he professed his undying love for the damn bird in front of his best friends and family.  _

_ But then Revali looked down, took a breath, and when he looked back up at Link his expression had softened considerably. He almost looked ready to cry, “I--there is a lot that I wanted to write in these vows. But I’m not much for this...pomp and circumstance so I...well, anything I wanted to say boils down to this: I will never leave you Link. No matter what comes our way, I will always be by your side. Or at least slightly above you.” _

_ Link wasn’t crying, it was just raining on his face, “...is that a height joke?” _

_ “I wish I meant it as a height joke but it was actually a flying joke,” Revali tilted his head a little, “Y’know. Since you still can’t fly. Or make it to Vah Medoh by yourself.” _

_ “Oh har har, very funny,” Link rolled his eyes, trying to pull away, but Revali’s grip on his hands tightened.  _

_ “I love you,” Revali said again. “And my vow to you is that no matter what dangers you face, you will always have me to bail you out.” _

_ Link sniffled, forcing himself to make eye contact, “With style, right?” _

_ “Obviously,” Revali winked. The two laughed, and as Urbosa pronounced them married, Link couldn’t help but bump his forehead into Revali’s. Their friends cheered as they embraced, and Link couldn’t help but place a kiss to his husband’s beak.  _

_ His--his husband!  _

_ Link all but skipped back down the aisle, Revali squawking frantically as he drug him along. Since they basically eloped, there wasn’t necessarily a reception. Since Link wasn’t of age yet, they also couldn’t really hit up the pubs either. But still, there was something about returning home to their little cabin off the Flight Range and seeing Bazz popping the champagne bottle open while the rest of their friends cheered that made Link feel like he wouldn’t have wanted his wedding to be any other way.  _

_ At some point amongst the celebrations, Sidon and Reba both woke up from their afternoon naps to join the adults at a bonfire outside the cabin, though neither of them stayed awake for very long. Sidon passed out first, so Mipha put him to bed inside. When Link opened his third beer, he glanced down at a very drowsy Reba who was hugging Revali’s leg.  _

_ “You need to go to bed too, Kiddo?” Link asked, but Reba shook her head.  _

_ “I wanna--” Reba started, but cut herself off with a yawn, “I wanna stay out here with my...papas…” _

_ Link felt that sick, uneasy feeling settle back in his stomach as he took a drink but said nothing. Revali, on the other hand, stooped down to lift Reba into his arms, “Is that so?” _

_ “Mmhmm,” Reba hummed, tucking her little head against him. “Because! Because I have two papas now…” _

_ “And a grandma!” Mom chimed in, bringing out a blanket.  _

_ “And a grandma!” Reba echoed, giggling so sweetly. Revali’s expression practically melted as he stared silently down at Reba’s sleepy little form. It seemed that Reba was the only one who could bring out Revali’s soft side, and honestly Link wouldn’t have those two little birds any other way.  _

_ “Here, Revali,” Mom offered, “why don’t you take a seat in my chair and you can wrap her up in this blanket.” _

_ “Oh--uhhhh--sure, whatever,” Revali shrugged awkwardly, and everyone tried to pretend they were ignoring the way Revali so hesitantly danced around Mom like he wasn’t a nervous orphan on the verge of becoming a total mama’s boy. Revali had a heart of gold, and it took Link way too long to discover that. But now he knew that Revali’s arrogant front often came from a place of survival. He didn’t ever want to make Revali feel like he had to put up that front again. Not to him, not to their friends, and especially not to their mom. As Mom helped Revali settle into the chair, she tucked both him and Reba into the blanket.  _

_ “I’ve been working on a present for you boys,” Mom explained, “But it’s not done yet...we’ll have to make a trip back to Hateno to go grab it. When there’s time of course!”  _

_ “Oh, you really don’t have to--” Revali started, but Mom cut him off by placing a little kiss on his forehead. Revali squawked in surprise, looking up at her with the biggest, sweetest, most nervous green eyes Link had ever seen from Revali.  _

_ “I know, but I wanted to,” Mom smiled, smoothing down the feathers on the top of his head. “Besides, you don’t have many blankets to keep you warm in the winter and I wanted to make a quilt for your bed.” _

_ “Seriously?” Link gasped, “Thanks, Mom!”  _

_ “Yes...thank you, Clara,” Revali nodded.  _

_ “You’re very welcome,” Mom beamed, then looked back down to Revali, “And please, you can call me ‘Mom’.” _

_ Revali’s big green gaze returned as he stared at Mom like she was a being from another dimension. Not sure what else to do, he continued holding Reba in silence as she slept, even as some of their friends ducked inside to warm up or otherwise turn in for the night. Link fought back the shivers that ran down his spine as well, but he wanted to be close to his new husband for as long as possible.  _

_ Link marched across the snow to bump Revali a little bit, and when Revali looked up, his eyes darted for any eavesdropper before he whispered, “Link, your mom is telling me to call her my mom what do I do.” _

_ “Whatever you’re comfortable with?” Link shrugged with a smile. “I mean, you are her new son-in-law.” _

_ “Mmmmmm,” Revali sank a little in his chair, holding Reba tighter. “I don’t like that.” _

_ “What don’t you like?” Link raised his eyebrows.  _

_ “I have--I have feelings,” Revali admitted, sinking further. “I hate that shit.” _

_ “You...have feelings,” Link bit back his amusement as best as he could.  _

_ “Yes.” _

_ “About what?” _

_ “Your  _ mother _ wants to be  _ my mother _ and I’m not prepared to deal with all this sad orphan shit,” Revali snapped.  _

_ “You’ve been dealing with sad orphan shit since day fucking one, dude--” _

_ “I know but it was easier to repress my emotions when I could joke about nobody loving me!” Revali quipped back. “But now--you’re here! And--well, Reba’s always been here and...I don’t know how to have a family, Link! I’ve never had one before!”  _

_ “Revali!” Link giggled, bending down to hug Revali tightly. “You’ve always had a family! You just said so yourself.” _

_ “Hah?” Revali’s beak fell open in confusion.  _

_ “Reba,” Link grinned. “Even if you hated admitting it, she’s always been your family. And...well, I’m thankful that you guys allowed your family to get bigger.” _

_ “Oh don’t start that,” Revali reared back a little. “Don’t get sappy on me, we’ve been sappy enough.” _

_ “What, you don’t like having healthy emotional bowel movements?” _

_ “No! I prefer to be emotionally constipated and you know this!”  _

_ “Awwwwww, my husband’s being such a big baby!” Link teased, holding Revali tighter as he tried to squirm away. At the mention of ‘husband’, however, Revali suddenly relaxed and melded into Link’s arms. The two stayed there, looking out into the night sky. Link couldn’t help but sigh, “We did it.” _

_ “Yeah,” Revali hummed. “Too bad we can’t go on our honeymoon yet.” _

_ “Oh come on, it’s not that far off,” Link teased. “I just have a few more missions before my vacation.” _

_ “Mmmm, and how far off is that?” Revali asked.  _

_ “Well,” Link squinted a little, “it’s subject to change a bit depending on Zelda but...she is pretty dead set on heading up to the Spring of Wisdom on her birthday. That’s the last thing I’m scheduled to escort her for.” _

_ “Hylia, I hope that damn spring works,” Revali shook his head. “I love you, but I’m tired of Castletown.” _

_ “Me too,” Link leaned a little more heavily on Revali, “Well, at least her birthday’s next month! Regardless of what happens, I’ll be able to come home and we’ll be on the beaches of Lurelin before you know it.” _

_ “Only a month,” Revali hummed. “Okay, I’ll take it.” _

_ “One month, Babe,” Link giggled, coaxing Revali to stand up and head inside. Link crawled into their hammock and Revali shamelessly placed Reba in her arms as he settled in on top of them both.  _

_ “What? The Twirp has her nest,” Revali pointed out. Well, Link couldn’t exactly argue with that. Instead, he settled into a deep, peaceful slumber. As Revali held him and Reba, he asked once more, “Just a month?” _

_ “Just a month,” Link reassured. “Then I’m all yours for our honeymoon.” _

_ “Hmph,” Revali grunted, his eyes slipping closed. “Okay.” _

_ “Hey,” Link egged Revali on, “Guess what?” _

_ Revali let out a grown, “Whaaaaat?” _

_ “We’re married!” Link giggled, and he saw Revali smile ever so slightly.  _

_ “Yeah...yeah, we are,” Revali hummed, and the two fell asleep dreaming blissfully of a future that ultimately wouldn't come.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I am living and breathing off of the Miphbazz happening in the background. I know I'm the only damn person who sees it and ships it but YOU KNOW SHE BROUGHT HIM AS HER +1. YOU KNOW SHE STRONGARMED LINK INTO HIM BEING HIS BEST MAN SO THEY COULD WALK DOWN THE AISLE TOGETHER. YOU KNOW LINK'S OBLIVIOUS ASS SAID SURE WHY NOT AND YOU KNOW MIPHA IS CRUSHING H A R D. AJKDFJKAJF 
> 
> In my defense, Clara and Reba weren't originally going to meet until after the Calamity but then I really really really wanted her to walk Link down the aisle and have bonding time with her BOYS OKAY.


	11. Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a little while, everything was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!! 
> 
> I don't have too much to add, but I will say that some of the friendships I have made since I picked this series back up while in quarantine are what gave 2020 its bright spots. So thank you guys. You all are truly the best. I don't know what I would've done without ya. 
> 
> But in any case, enjoy this chapter! It's got some much needed fluff to kick 2021 off on a wholesome note.

_ For a little while, everything was perfect. _

_ Link traveled way too much for his liking, though he diligently stayed by the Princess’s side as she fought to awaken her powers. At first, he thought it would truly be a month before he saw his husband again, but then Zelda, Impa, and Purah procured the best gift he had ever received.  _

_ “The Sheikah Slate?” Link signed curiously. Zelda continued holding the tablet towards him with anxious hope while Purah nodded emphatically.  _

_ “It was Zelda’s idea!” she grinned, bouncing around the duo. “Well, actually it was Impa’s idea but she told Zelda to--” _

_ “You have so much on your plate for the next month!” Zelda interrupted, her face flushing a bright pink at the very mention of Impa’s name, “So...in spite of all that you have to do on my behalf, I wanted you to have the chance to at least make it home to your family in the evenings.” _

_ “Yes, but..” Link felt his brow furrow when he spoke out loud, then managed to switch to signing with his hands, “What about your safety when I’m gone?” _

_ “Oh, please, Impa will be with her,” Purah waved off lazily. “Plus, I have a communicator synced up to the Sheikah Slate so if anything comes up, I can let you know!”  _

_ Link didn’t want to cry in front of his friends that day, although he did have a really hard time holding it together once they settled into camp for the night and he finally got to test the tablet’s functions. He managed to teleport to the shrine in Rito Village, then almost immediately sprinted off the Landing with the paraglider Revali and Mom spent the entire weekend making for him before he left. The look on his husband’s face was almost priceless when he opened the front door of their little cabin just off the Flight Range.  _

_ “...Reba did you do as Grandma asked and set the table?” Revalis’ stern voice hummed with a gentleness he reserved only for the little bird. He was so young to be a father - some argued too young - but Hylia, he had been on his own for almost his entire life and there was something about seeing those two together that reminded Link just how capable Revali was of doing anything he put his heart to.  _

_ “Yes, Revi!” Reba chirped, delicately placing the napkins along the place setting. Link found himself leaning up against the doorway watching the sight unfold before him. He couldn’t help but smile. He couldn’t stay there for long, because after a moment, he watched Reba’s little feathers ruffle as she shivered. “Did someone leave the door open--?” _

_ Reba paused when she looked up to see Link, gasping in delight. He almost wanted to cry when she bounced around the table to greet him and say, “Revi! Grandma!”  _

_ Mom stood up from where she had been hunkered over the oven to babysit something. As she turned and locked onto Link, she almost burst out into tears and cried out, “LINK!” _

_ “Hi, Mom!” Link giggled, barely catching his mother as she dashed into his arms full force. Her delighted sobs definitely had him tearing up now. “I’ve only been gone a few days!” _

_ “I know! I know!” Mom wept, rocking Link from side to side. “I just wasn’t expecting you! How did you get here?!” _

_ “Yeah, how  _ did _ you get here?” Revali snapped suddenly. When Link looked up, his husband was standing there with crossed arms and an unreadably grumpy expression.  _

_ “Well, don’t get too excited,” Link rolled his eyes, making note to hold an arm out to a patiently waiting Reba at his feet. “Come here, you.” _

_ “I didn’t want to impose!” Reba insisted, accepting his invitation by wrapping her feathery little wings around his waist.  _

_ “Well, I wasn’t expecting you!” Revali protested. “We only set the table for three people and if you’re going to neglect the Princess and barge in, you could at least let us know!”  _

_ “Fucking Hylia!” Link rolled his eyes, but then answered Revali’s question by holding up the Sheikah Slate. Beside him, Mom frowned.  _

_ “Link,” she noted sternly.  _

_ “What?” Link droned, suddenly feeling like he was in trouble for some reason.  _

_ “We have young ears, listening,” Mom’s gaze drifted down towards Reba - who gave a confused little chirp - for a second, “Watch your language.” _

_ “I wasn’t--!” Link threw his hands up in defense, “It’s fine!” _

_ “Link,” Mom narrowed her gaze. “Just drop the cussing!”  _

_ Link glowered at his mother, but still managed to answer his husband’s question, “Zelda gave this to me to use for when we are camping out, at the palace, or Impa and the guards otherwise have things covered. So...I thought I could come home and surprise you!” _

_ At that, Revali’s gaze relaxed a little. With a grunt and a smirk, he said, “Well, you could’ve led with that. Now get in here before you let all the heat out, Idiot.” _

_ “Kind words would also do a little bird some good!” Mom huffed, turning a suddenly squawking Revali around by the shoulders. “Now help your daughter set an extra plate before she picks up on too many of your insults, Young Man!” _

_ “I’m not insulting him, I mean it lovingly!” Revali squawked back in alarm. “Lovingly!” _

_ “Could’ve fooled me,” Link teased, rolling his eyes.  _

_ “I--Link we are married!”  _

_ “Eh, it’s only been like a week,” Link teased. He glanced down to Reba for a moment to find her clasping her little hands together. She gazed up at Link with big, worried eyes. He winked at her, and Reba suddenly let out a sigh of relief as if she had doubted their banter. Ruffling her feathers, she let out a sweet set of chirps and she almost sounded like she was singing a song through her whistles.  _

_ “Mmmm,” Revali scowled, eyeing Link with a nervous gaze as if he too was doubting Link’s security in their relationship. Which...okay, to be fair most of their communication was based off of insults and somehow they ended up married and in love. Link could see where the insecurities lied. Maybe they needed to work on that.  _

_ “Hey,” Link teased, wrapping his arms around his husband’s waist, “I wouldn’t come home if I didn’t want to see you!” _

_ “Uh-huh,” Revali grunted, but Link could still feel him relax slightly. “Just set your own plate.” _

_ “Mmkay,” Link grunted, then managed to plant a kiss on Revali’s fuzzy cheek. _

_ “And stop with the kissing!” _

_ “Well, I’m sorry you don’t have lips!” Link retorted, giving Revali another kiss along his beak. Revali squawked and ducked away.  _

_ “I’ll peck your eyes out if you don’t stop!” Revali snapped back, trying to swat Link away. _

_ “Kind words, Boys!” Mom reminded them, causing the couple to deflate. They looked at each other, then to the ladies now sitting at the table waiting expectantly for them. Shaking her head, Mom looked to Reba and asked, “Do they always talk to each other like this?” _

_ Giggling, Reba nodded but added, “It’s the most I ever hear Papa talk!”  _

_ “Oh Hylia,” Mom shrank a little. _

_ “Papa?” Link raised an eyebrow, trying to ignore that sick feeling in his stomach. He...he hadn’t agreed to that one yet. _

_ “It’s what she’s been calling you,” Revali whispered.  _

_ “And you haven’t corrected her?” Link whispered more quietly. Revali responded by elbowing him hard.  _

_ “Or...they just whisper things I can’t hear and do that,” Reba pointed out. “Are they talking about adult things, Grandma?” _

_ “Probably,” Mom sighed, shaking her head. “Honey, it’s a wonder your parents even got to this point.” _

_ Link and Revali exchanged a confused and attacked look in response to their apparent peanut gallery. When they finally decided to take their seats, Revali couldn’t help but mutter, “Link, your mom makes me feel like we need marriage counseling.” _

_ “Are you kidding?” Link snapped. “Reba makes me feel like we need counseling in general!”  _

_ “It’s never too early or too late to work on bettering your relationships, Kiddo,” Mom hummed in amusement as she took a drink.  _

_ “Uh-huh, is that why you left the Old Man?” Link chuffed, leaning back in his chair. He reached for the beer sitting at the table but Mom swiped it out of his hands.  _

_ “I don’t recall you turning twenty-one yet,” Mom teased. “Also, your father made me choose between you and him. I will gladly work on our marriage if he is willing but that takes both parties to agree to it.” _

_ “I’m married!” Link snapped, suddenly latching on to the first point. Mom popped the lid off and handed it to his (slightly older) husband who was now laughing at him.  _

_ “And you want to set a good example for your new daughter, right?” Mom grinned. Oh she was fucking with him. “Good soldiers and good fathers follow the rules and use kind words.” _

_ “Yeah, unless the rules are stupid,” Link grumbled.  _

_ “There’s nothing stupid about sobriety, Young Man,” Mom lectured.  _

_ “You know, just for that I’m going to throw the biggest rager of a party for my birthday,” Link pointed sternly to his mother. “Might even do it in the Domain! Mipha’d put her dad on it and everything.” _

_ “No, no,” Revali snickered, shaking his head, “You should do it in Hateno. Just get so hammered that you disgrace your father’s name!” _

_ “Yeaaaah!” Link giggled, “Oh--we should like--what’s that bar that does the live music?” _

_ “Dark Horse?” _

_ “YEAH!” Link smacked his hands excitedly on the table, “Revali, we should get black out drunk and just take over the stage. Sing some power ballads! Make it really gay!” _

_ Revali’s smile suddenly fell at that idea: “Absolutely not--” _

_ “I’ll strip tease on the bar!” Link announced, and Revali suddenly looked more interested in the offer. _

_ “Buy me a shot beforehand and I’m sold,” Revali held a hand out and the two shook on it. Mom, on the other hand, just held her head in her hands while Reba smiled at the whole exchange. Revali seemed to notice her grin and he paused, the twinkle in his eye returning. “Whatcha smiling about, Reba?” _

_ “I just--” Reba jumped a little, glancing down with ruffled feathers. Sighing, Reba smiled and looked back up to the three adults at the table, “I’m just really happy that you all are my family!” _

* * *

Sidon felt Link jerk awake in his arms, causing Sidon to stir. On his other side, Nami looked up from the television over to her Papa and smiled. 

“He’s awake!” she cheered as Link rubbed at his eyes. Sitting up in a daze, Link’s gaze traveled to the soft blue glow of the television and he frowned. 

“You guys are...still on that Sofia Show?”

“It’s called  _ Sofia the First, _ actually,” Sidon corrected. “And it’s quite good!”

Link kept rubbing at his eyes, his head tucked sweetly against Sidon’s side. With a furrowed brow, he asked, “Isn’t that the one you’re mad at?’

“Well,” Sidon felt his cheeks flushing, “Yes, but--”

“I thought you said you were going to sue--”

“It’s a good show, Link!” Sidon cried out, covering his face while Nami dove into a tub of ice cream with her spoon. Sidon jumped a little, reaching forward to try and slow her sugar consumption. “Nami!”

“Wha!?” Nami hummed with a full mouth, but then she paused, her eyes falling a little cross-eyed before she smacked a hand to her face. “Owwww! Brain freeze!” 

Link spat out a laugh, reaching across Sidon to rub at her little forehead while she whined her way through the sugary pain. “Well, Kiddo, you gotta be more careful!”

“Mmmmm!” Nami whined, then tucked her face into Sidon’s side. Heavens, that girl was just so cute, it made Sidon’s heart melt sometimes. Chuckling, Sidon patted her back to try and help her rub the brain freeze away. The small family continued to cuddle there, marathoning a ridiculous children’s show. Well, they watched it until the final episode of the night concluded, but Nami was too bouncy and giggly to settle down for bed. 

“Nami,” Link frowned, his blue eyes sparkling with...some sort of anxiety. Nami had scampered down the stairs to put the ice cream away, got distracted, then immediately wanted to play wrestle with Link. Now they were just crawling on the floor, giggling. At least they were until Link looked up and saw the time . “You need to go to bed soon.”

“But Papaaaa!” Nami giggled, crawling onto his back. “I’m not tired yet!” 

Sidon peered over the balcony fondly, smiling to himself as he watched the two of them. When Link looked up to Sidon with pleading eyes, he couldn’t help but laugh, “Oh, but it’s our last night of vacation, Love! Let her have her fun.”

“Ah--” Link grunted as Nami tugged on his hair, pulling him onto his back. Link landed with a thud, breaking out into bright laughter, “Okay! Okay! You got meee!” 

Sidon continued smiling to himself as the duo kept tumbling. He jumped a little, however, when Nami rolled too vigorously and landed at the foot of the piano. “Oh! Minnow, are you alright?!”

“Yeah!” Nami grunted, sitting back up. She giggled the minute she locked eyes onto Link, who was now on all fours. Nami stood back up, then turned to face the piano and Sidon could recognize that playful glint in her eye. Climbing up onto the piano bench, Nami turned to Link and asked, “Papa? Can we play?”

“Hm?” Link grunted a bit, “Yeah sure.”

Nami gasped in delight and Sidon couldn’t help but excitedly get up and trot down the stairs. Link was still rather...shy about his musical talents. Not to Sidon - Link was always asking Sidon his opinions of the beautiful medleys he could come up with - but he always got a little bashful any time Father or Nami commented on his sweet little tunes. Still, he fought through his blushing cheeks to set Nami on his lap. She wiggled in his lap to get comfortable while Sidon curled up on the floor beside his boyfriend. 

Link closed his eyes, eventually beginning to smile and hum along with the tune he created. It was so fun to see him drift off into his little world and relax, especially when he cradled their daughter in his arms. “Wow, Papa!” Nami grinned, “How did you get to be so good?”

“Well,” Link leaned his chin on the top of her head, “My mom taught me. It was a lot of practice.”

“Woooow,” Nami grinned, “I wish I could’ve met her. She always seems so nice when you talk about her!”

“She was very nice,” Link grinned, and for the first time in several weeks, Link seemed so at peace when he said it. “She taught me everything I know.”

“Really?” Nami kicked her feet a little, “Like what?”

“Well, how to play the piano...how to play the Ocarina, of course,” Link nuzzled the top of her head and the two giggled together. “Plus...well, she taught me how to cook. So any recipe I have probably came from her.”

“Ooooh,” Nami hummed, and Sidon could see her drooling a little bit in excitement, “So Papa recipes are also Grandma recipes?”

Link spat out the brightest, sweetest laughter at that, and he hugged their little girl tightly. “Yes they are!” 

“Yaaaay!” Nami cheered, pumping her little arms up in the air. Link giggled and rocked her for a little while more before he resumed to his beautiful melodies. The entire time Sidon just rested silently, smiling to himself as he purred his way into a gentle slumber. 

* * *

_ For a while, everything seemed like it could work out.  _

_ After the wedding, Bazz found himself spending way more time with the princess than he had ever imagined. Well...he found himself spending way more time with Mipha than he had expected. And Link was married, but not to Mipha. How was this his life again? _

_ “So...how do I…?” Bazz grimaced, trying and failing to pinch at the ball of rice with his chopsticks. The rice crumpled in his grasp and then the chopsticks went flying out of his hands.  _

_ “Ope! Almost!” Mipha giggled heartily at Bazz’s expense. Losing his patience, Bazz tried in vain to grip at something else. He was honestly just making a mess and he didn’t know how the Sheikah ate with these contraptions. Across from him, Rivan was pounding his fist into the table with laughter.  _

_ “You dipshit!” Rivan howled.  _

_ “Leave me alone! I’m trying!” Bazz whined pitifully. Mipha continued giggling at his expense, but when he felt her small little hand run along his bicep, he didn’t feel  _ as _ bad.  _

_ “It’s okay!” Mipha giggled, leaning her head into his shoulder. Oh  _ no _ she was so cute. “You should’ve seen me the first time I tried using chopsticks!” _

_ “I just can’t believe how bad he is with how often he travels with you, Mipha!” Gaddison pointed out. Bazz just continued to pout while he watched the idiots in love across from him flirt by way of Bottomless Bazz Torment. He watched in annoyance at their chatter until he saw Rivan flinch a little, wincing as his hand flew to his side where the little hatchling was kicking him. Gaddison jumped in turn, and suddenly her smile softened. Reaching her hand to rub the spot over Rivan’s belly where little Dunma was dancing around, she hummed, “Oh, I’m sorry, did your dad and I wake you?” _

_ “She’s  _ been _ awake,” Rivan protested with a pout, “She just gets bitchy whenever I pull Bazz’s legs too much.” _

_ “HAAA!” Bazz wheezed suddenly, “That’s karma, Bitch!”  _

_ “I’m literally her father!” Rivan whined.  _

_ “And I must be the favorite Uncle!” Bazz crossed his arms in triumph.  _

_ “Mmmm, I just think she hates conflict,” Gaddison rolled her eyes, and Bazz clocked the way she leaned her head on Rivan’s shoulder while she rubbed at his belly to settle the little hatchling.  _

_ Even Mipha seemed to clock it. Her gaze fluttering, she looked from Bazz to the not-couple and back. “Um--if I may be so bold...Gaddison...are you and Rivan--” _

_ “We’re not dating,” Gadd and Rivan droned almost simultaneously. Rolling his head back in frustration, Rivan added, “I tried dating and it got me here.” _

_ “And I just don’t like commitment,” Gadd shrugged.  _

_ “Of course you don’t!” Bazz threw his hands up, “But you two practically live together!” _

_ “He’s having a baby,” Gaddison said without even blinking.  _

_ “And she’s great company!” Rivan shrugged.  _

_ “The cuddling?” Bazz pointed to the both of them.  _

_ “There’s currently a lot to cuddle!” Gaddison hugged Rivan a little tighter.  _

_ “And I like cuddles!” Rivan grinned like an idiot. _

_ “The sex?” Bazz slammed his hands on the table.  _

_ “Feelings are mutual!” Both of them chimed in with stupid grins and Bazz wanted to bash their stupid heads together. Mipha thought the whole exchange was absolutely hilarious as she kept giggling at the whole situation unfolding. Then, because Rivan just  _ looooved _ stirring the pot about eight times as much as he did before his paternity leave, he leaned forward and added, “But speaking of mutual...what’s going on here?” _

_ Rivan jutted a claw out to the two of them and Mipha’s giggles stopped abruptly while Bazz started to choke on his own spit but held it in. The two of them looked at each other, and Bazz felt his face heat up when Mipha straightened herself like a pin needle.  _

_ “Um!” Mipha gasped, covering her face, “I suppose--well, there’s nothing serious here! I just--uh--!” _

_ “Ohhhhhh,” Gaddision and Rivan hummed in tandem like the fucking jackasses they were. Exchanging a knowing glance they both snickered as Rivan tried to slide his way out of the booth they had been sitting at.  _

_ And he failed. He failed epically and almost got stuck on the way out, but Bazz was too embarrassed to make fun of him before he could stand up and grin, “Well, since  _ you two _ haven’t discussed the terms and conditions of your arrangement, Gaddison and I are gonna go check out the market!” _

_ “Yeah, I hear Goponga has the best deals on fresh fish!” Gaddison added. Then just like that, the two looped arms and practically skipped out of the restaurant, leaving Bazz alone with Mipha and the bill.  _

_ This time, it was Bazz’s turn to cover his face to hold back his own screams. He still let out a groan, then whined, “Ohhhhh Mipha, I am so sorry for those two! I don’t know what the hell has gotten into them!”  _

_ “They--” Mipha swallowed a lump in her throat, “They sure did leave without paying.” _

_ “Well, in their defense it is my turn to flip the bill,” Bazz grumbled. “But still! Fuck!” _

_ Bazz continued whining all the way until the waitress brought them their bill. Even then they were sitting in awkward silence and by the time they exited the restaurant, Bazz was pretty sure he was about to make his future goddaughter an orphan.  _

_ “Um,” Mipha cleared her throat, and her voice had that same anxious, breathy tone to it that he had heard plenty of times before. But not any time recently. “So--Bazz, I’m sorry if I--if my presence has caused you an issue, I want to apologize--!” _

_ “What?” Bazz stopped short, feeling his lip curl as he cringed at the very thought, “No! Why would you think that?” _

_ “It’s just that--” Mipha also skidded to a halt, her eyes were very wide and her claws were tapping together very frantically. “I--ohhhh, I made a mess of things when I fell for Link, I know that!”  _

_ “I mean…” Bazz really wasn’t sure what to say now. “The heart wants what it wants, Mipha. There’s nothing wrong with that.” _

_ “I know!” Mipha’s hands flew up, her face was turing very bright with her blush, “But then I still made him that armor as a wedding gift and--well--I don’t want to give the wrong impression or cause trouble or--” _

_ “Mipha,” Bazz put a hand on her trembling shoulders. Where was she going with this? “There’s nothing wrong with any of that. Link is one of my best friends. I can see the appeal!” _

_ “No--but,” Mipha huffed, letting out a little growl as she glared up at him. It was...it was both adorable and intimidating. “A little while back, a couple years ago actually, Link was trying to help me and...he asked me what I was looking for in a person, what drew me to him, and I didn’t know what I wanted at the time but--ohhhh, I’m just making a bigger mess of things!” _

_ For some reason, Bazz felt his own cheeks heat up. But he still smiled and said, “Mipha. I was there with you guys when you had that discussion. The most you could come up with in terms of attraction were his ears.” _

_ “Oh--Hylia,” Mipha was now covering her face. Bazz could only laugh at her outburst.  _

_ “Hey! It’s all good!” Bazz grinned, “I get it--” _

_ “No, but I’m talking in circles because I’m trying to say that I think I do know!” Mipha blurted, capturing Bazz’s attention again. His eyes drifted downward to where she was staring up at him with bright golden eyes. “I...what I’m trying to say, Bazz, is that…” _

_ Mipha trailed off and Bazz felt like he was having to swallow down his pounding heart. Damn, if there was ever a moment where he wished he had a fish on hand, he might just drop to his knees and ask to court her on the spot. But alas, Gaddison had to ruin that too. _

_ “Heeeeeey!” Gadd slid up to them nervously, causing Bazz to jump and Mipha to yelp into his arms. “I’m not interrupting anything?” _

_ “Are you--?!” Bazz gestured to Mipha then snarled back to Gadd, “What do you think!?” _

_ “Well, I honestly thought it wouldn’t take this long but listen, guys, uh...you know how Dunma’s been practicing her boxing on Rivan’s sides lately?” Gaddison asked, holding up her fists for emphasis.  _

_ “You mean like she has been all morning?” Bazz rolled his eyes.  _

_ “Yeah, I don’t think she’s just boxing,” Gaddison’s nervous smile fell suddenly and Bazz didn’t quite know what she was trying to iterate. _

_ “She’s...kickboxing?” Bazz guessed stupidly.  _

_ “Oh goodness,” Mipha stepped forward, her nervous demeanor practically washing away as she took the reins, “Where is he?” _

_ “Just--over there!” Gadd waved frantically, “And he says he’s fine but I dunno, I don’t think he’s fine!”  _

_ “Let me take a look,” Mipha instructed, calm as could be. She marched swiftly through the crowd searching for Rivan until she bumped...into Rivan. “Oh! Rivan!” _

_ “Heeeeey, Princess!” Rivan grinned, “You and Bazz settle things yet?” _

_ “Rivan, you dolt!” Gaddison scolded, “I told you to stay at the bench!” _

_ “But I feel fine!” Rivan frowned, pouting a little. “Look, I’m telling you, she’s just active today--” _

_ Rivan paused, his face contorting slightly and his hands flew to his side the same way it had earlier. Bazz crossed his arms, just  _ waiting _ until he had a moment to call the dipshit out. Sighing, Mipha shook her head and held her hands out until they got that distinct glow to them. “Okay, I’m going to just...check, okay? You may feel a slight sting.” _

_ “Mipha, I swear I’m--OWWWWW!” Rivan yelled, jumping away from her touch. “You call that a  _ sting?!” __

_ “He’s absolutely in labor,” Mipha hummed calmly to Gaddison.  _

_ “I’m not in labor!” Rivan threw his hands up frantically.  _

_ “Dude, let’s just get you home, alright?” Bazz patted Rivan on the back.  _

_ “But I haven’t finished setting up the nursery yet!” Rivan was biting at his claws. _

_ “Is the sleeping pool ready?” Bazz retorted. _

_ “Yes!”  _

_ “You have a changing table?” Gaddison added.  _

_ “Yes!”  _

_ “Crib just in case?” Mipha intoned. _

_ “Yes!”  _

_ “Well--fuck, man what are you missing?” Bazz asked. _

_ “The aesthetic!” Rivan cried out. “I was gonna do like a Little Mermaid theme to it and everything I just procrastinated on painting and--!” _

_ Rivan pitched forward suddenly in another contraction and if Mipha hadn’t been so calm and nonchalant about it all, he might’ve started panicking. Gaddison, between the three of them, just looked more annoyed at this point than anything, “Dude, you’re due date is literally three days from now, it’s your own fault for procrastinating.” _

_ “I’m sorry I hate bending over!” Rivan retorted.  _

_ “You have no problem bending over the coffee table for me!” Gadd fired back. _

_ “Oh sweet Hylia have mercy!” Bazz’s hands flew over his ears faster than he could even blink, “I do not want to hear about your sex life!”  _

_ “Who ever said we were talking about sex!?” Gadd laughed nervously in the worst lie she ever told to date.  _

_ Rivan eyed Gadd, then paled when he looked back to Bazz and admitted, “Okay, fine, we’re absolutely talking about sex.” _

_ “I said I didn’t want to know!” Bazz roared. Rivan  _ cackled _ at Bazz’s expense and with the way he continued teasing Bazz the whole swim home to the Domain, Bazz almost wondered if this was just a false alarm. But no, Rivan made fun of Bazz to cope, and that became entirely evident when they got to Rivan’s house and he practically collapsed onto the seabed in agony.  _

_ Bazz stared down at the seabed in confusion, “Since when did he have one of these…?” _

_ “Since I hit thirty weeks and almost got stuck in my own sleeping pool, Jackass,” Rivan snapped tearfully, rolling onto his side. “Just wait till you’re pregnant! You’ll regret saying anything at my expense!” _

_ “I never say anything at your expense, Rivan!” Bazz pointed out, “You’re the one who makes fun of me!” _

_ “Oh, right,” Rivan grunted, as if he honestly forgot who was the instigator in their friendship. Shaking her head, Gaddison took charge from there.  _

_ “Alright, Rivan, what do you want to take to the hospital with you?” she asked, “I can pack some things up.” _

_ “Ugh, do we have to go  _ now?” _ Rivan asked, rolling over again to drape an arm dramatically over his forehead. Was he serious right now?  _

_ “Rivan, you’re in labor--” _

_ “And I’m tired,” Rivan pouted.  _

_ “You’re deflecting,” Bazz chided, “Come on, man, we already went over this. You told us to not let you get stubborn when the time came!”  _

_ “Well, that was before needles and epidurals were in my very very near future!” Rivan whined, swiping a hand away from Bazz when he tried to take it. “I could try an at-home birth!” _

_ “No,” Bazz, Gaddison, and Mipha all droned in tandem. Rivan sat up suddenly, balking as if they had offended him. Crossing her arms, Gaddison pointed out, “Rivan, you fainted at the last childbirth class we went to!” _

_ “Hold up--!” Bazz snorted, his conspiracy theory deepening, “You went to childbirth class with him!?” _

_ “He needed the moral support,” Gadd brushed off. “But my point is, you couldn’t even handle the video of childbirth, what makes you think you can handle the process without drugs--” _

_ “AND YOU TWO AREN’T A THING!?” Bazz cackled, gesturing at the both of them.  _

_ “I swear to Din, I’m gonna kill him if he doesn’t shut up about this,” Rivan grumbled under his breath.  _

_ “HOW ARE YOU NOT A THING?!” Bazz was honestly too stuck on the thought to think of anything otherwise.  _

_ “BAZZ!” Mipha roared suddenly, causing Bazz to nearly leap out of his scales, “And Gaddison! Can you two step out of the room? I need to have a word with Rivan. Alone.” _

_ “Uhhhh, sure, Princess,” Gadd grunted, then grabbed Bazz by the arm and instructed, “Come on, Loverboy!”  _

_ “I’m not a--” Bazz grunted, but he was drug out of the room before he could say anything otherwise. Mipha slammed the door behind them both, leaving Bazz to stand there in confusion with Gaddison. The two of them barely had a chance to exchange a confused stare at each other before the door swung back open revealing an absolutely delighted Rivan and a blushing Mipha.  _

_ “Okay! I’m ready to have a baby at the hospital!” Rivan grinned, marching stupidly forward without second thought.  _

_ “Wait--what?” Bazz grimaced, “Mipha what did you say?” _

_ “I cut him a deal,” Mipha covered her face in her hands.  _

_ “And that deal was…?” Gaddison grinned, throwing things into a suitcase behind Rivan’s jovial banter.  _

_ “You’ll find out if he doesn’t put up a fight with the doctors,” Mipha covered her face.  _

_ “I never put up a fight, I just cry about it!” Rivan laughed, and Bazz wondered for the next few hours as to why Mipha was so embarrassed. It was a good thing Rivan was such a trooper through it all.  _

* * *

“DUNMAAAAAA!” 

Dunma was standing post at her usual spot when she heard a scampering little princess running up to her. Turning with a start, she barely had time to react before Princess Minami rammed into her. 

“Oh!” Dunma grunted, not really catching her, but awkwardly petting her on the head nonetheless, “Hey, Princess!” 

“Dunma!” Nami scolded playfully, giggling as she looked up to her, “You don’t gotta call me ‘Princess’ all the time! You can just call me Nami!” 

At that, Dunma couldn’t help but smile, “Well, alright! Now how was your trip?”

“It was so fun!” Nami cheered, shooting her little hands up in the air. Dunma couldn’t help but look up to scan the Domain for her parents, and admittedly she felt a little weird saying that she was looking for her parents. It wasn’t long ago when Dunma found herself entertaining little Nami in the courtyard until a caretaker either showed to pick her up or Dad just tiredly shook his head and made sure to set an extra plate at the table for dinner. But that was before Prince Sidon took her in and she promptly swept him off his feet. Seeing those two fall for each other as father and daughter was honestly better than any love story Dunma could’ve read as a kid. 

But also...Dunma couldn’t help but feel a little twinge of sadness that Uncle Bazz didn’t follow through with adopting her like he said he would. Granted, he made that bold proclamation shortly after Nela and Mako were killed. The way the cards fell between that moment and when the Prince added himself to her roster of caretakers three years later, it just made sense for Prince Sidon to adopt her. But also, Dunma didn’t really know why her Uncle backed out on that so suddenly. 

Oh well, that was neither here nor there, in Dunma’s eyes. Uncle Bazz seemed to thrive as Nami’s godfather these days and he seemed to get along with Prince Sidon just like they had before...well...before Ikkala left. 

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” Nami was bouncing emphatically around Dunma, though she kept a tight grip on Dunma’s hand. “And Papa found his old wedding photos!”

Dunma’s brain skidded to a halt. Blinking, resetting, and forcing a smile, Dunma glanced down at the Princess and asked, “What?”

“So Papa used to be married to Revali and--” Nami started to explain, but Dunma still wasn’t computing.

“Now, wait, back up,” Dunma backed up slightly for emphasis as she waved her arms in a little rewind motion. “Your--your father, Link, was  _ married _ to the Rito Champion?”

“Uh-huh!” Nami grinned, nodding her head furiously. “They were in big gay love and now I have three dads!” 

“Oh my--”

“Actually four dads!” Nami held up four fingers. “Because I had a birth dad before Dad. I’m gonna collect Dads until I have an army!” 

“Oh--oh  _ my,” _ Dunma gasped, struggling to keep face. As much as she loved Nami’s Dad Army, she couldn’t get it out of her head that Master Link had actually  _ married _ the Rito Champion who Dad insistently described as an “Overgrown Cucco” based on how violent and angry he could get. “And...I’m afraid to ask, but how is Prince Sidon handling all this?”

“Well, he was a little bitch about it at first,” Nami bluntly stated and Dunma nearly collapsed as her entire career in the Royal Guard flashed before her eyes. “But now I think he’s okay with it! Papa was sharing some songs he wrote for Revali before we left and Dad spent most of the trip telling Papa stories from when he was little to help jog Papa’s memory!”

“That’s--uhhhhh--that’s good!” Dunma laughed nervously, she started sweating when she saw Prince Sidon’s crimson head come into view and lock onto them both. “Oh! Welcome home, My Prince!” 

“It’s good to be home, my dear!” Prince Sidon nodded with the big broad smile he was so known for. His eyes fell to his daughter and thought he gave a gruff snort when he placed his hands on his hips, his eyes were so full of love when he lectured, “And Minami! I’ve been looking all over for you!”

“Sorry, Dad!” the princess whined through her giggles, “I saw Dunma and I got excited!” 

“Heavens,” Prince Sidon shook his head with a smile. He then knelt down and held his arms out for a hug. Minami swiftly ran into his embrace before he stood up, cradling her. “I do hope she didn’t cause you too much trouble.”

“Oh not at all, My Prince!” Dunma grinned. Really, she adored Minami. They  _ were _ technically godsisters, after all. “She’s delightful company, as always.”

“Yeah, Dad!” Nami grinned mischievously, “And I was even telling her about my newest Dad!”

Prince Sidon’s smile promptly fell and for a moment Dunma felt queasy. 

“She...she did tell me about Master Link and Master Revali, Sir,” Dunma grunted, looking away nervously.

Prince Sidon’s eyes flashed suddenly with recognition and he broke out into a boisterous laugh, “Ohhhh! Heavens! I’m sorry, the way Nami phrased it is just--my darling Minnow, can you  _ please _ stop with the Dad Army?”

“Nope!” Nami crossed her arms cheerfully, her wagging tail only highlighted her well-meaning defiance. There was something about the ongoing “Dad Army” gag that consistently overwhelmed Prince Sidon, and it took everything Dunma had in her to keep a straight face. She was on duty. She had to take her job seriously when she was on duty. 

So Dunma kept it polite but serious as Prince Sidon and Princess Minami bid her a cheerful goodbye. And Dunma kept it even more serious in spite of Torfeau’s teasing. She held it together until the exact moment she clocked out and removed her armor. 

Then she made an  _ immediate _ beeline to Dad. 

“Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!” Dunma all but screamed down the hallway. She found him talking to Mom and Bazz - obviously - and while they were still on duty, she wasn’t so she had no problem tackling her father to the ground and yelling, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME LINK MARRIED THE CHICKEN!?” 

“Aaah!” Dad toppled over slightly. In spite of her height and weight, Dad still attempted to grab the backs of her legs and hike her up to more of a piggy-back carry. And honestly, Dunma had no problem slinging her arms around him. “Since when are you this playful?!”

“I’m off the clock!” Dunma announced proudly. “So now it’s my turn to harass you! Now is it true or not?!”

“Who the  _ hell _ did you hear that from?” Uncle Bazz asked, his eyes widening in shock. 

“Nami and Prince Sidon,” Dunma blurted, cleared her throat, then corrected, “Er-- _ Princess _ Minami and Prince Sidon. Sir.” 

“Oh my--” Bazz groaned, rolling his eyes. “I need a drink after this.”

“It’s Gadd’s turn to pay the tab,” Dad added. Mom responded by punching him in the arm. “But yes, Baby Girl, to answer your question Link and the Overgrown Cucco got hitched. And I wasn’t invited!”

“Rivan, you were most definitely invited,” Bazz rolled his eyes. 

“Well, I don’t remember going!” Dad cried out. 

“You were  _ pregnant!” _ Mom retorted. “And I was stuck taking care of your bitchy ass!”

“Hey, for what it’s worth, I would’ve rather taken care of Rivan over what I had to deal with from Link,” Bazz admitted, rolling his eyes. “Revali was literally four hours late to his own wedding because he went to fetch Link’s mom and didn’t tell anybody.”

“Oh--Hylia,” Dunma grimaced, then suddenly an exasperated sigh from behind caused all four of them to jump and Dad nearly dropped Dunma on her head. 

“Yeah, that one was a little rough,” Link admitted and for the second time that day, Dunma saw her career flashing before her eyes. 

“OH!” Dunma nearly screamed, “Master Link! I’m so sorry--it was my fault it came up and--!”

“So how shitty was the timing of your flashbacks?” Bazz grunted in amusement, cutting Dunma’s panicked apologies off by placing a hand on her shoulder. Link responded by giving Uncle an absolutely sour look. 

“It almost cost my vacation, how do you think it was!?” Link snapped back. 

“I am so sorry,” Dunma squeaked, but she felt two sets of arms wrap around her shoulders. 

“I--Dunma, why are you apologizing?” Link asked with a furrowed brow. 

“Poor girl takes her job as seriously as I used to,” Uncle Bazz teased, rocking Dunma slightly in his embrace. She couldn’t help but frown a little at his commentary. She wasn’t a little girl anymore! 

“Yeah,” Dad chuckled, and Dunma felt him place a kiss to the top of her head, “You’d think she was Bazz’s kid with how good she is at her job!” 

“Daaaad,” Dunma whined, though she relaxed a little when Master Link’s expression brightened into a warm smile. Then he started snickering, and when he started pointing in Dad’s direction, Dunma was grateful for Link’s ability to spare her at her father’s expense. 

“But hey--one memory I  _ did _ get back was of Rivan!” Link giggled, backing away to sit himself on the floor. Dunma looked up at Dad to see his expression fall sour. “Something about the soap opera that was your pregnancy.”

“Oh no,” Dad paled, “Link, please don’t--”

“Dunma, when I say your Dad bitched more than a beached whale!” Link continued, and Uncle immediately spat out a series of cackles. Not even Mom was pretending to hold her composure while Link laid down on the ground and splayed out his limbs like a starfish. “I mean this guy was all,  _ ‘UUUUGGGH! Link just roll me to Tabantha for your wedding I’m TOO FAAAAT!’” _

“I did not say that!” Dad shouted, his cheeks flushing. 

_ “‘Link, I can’t  _ possibly _ ask Gaddison out now! Just last week I got stranded in the reservoir like a sad seahorse!”  _

“Link, stop--!”

_ “”Link help I’m stuck in my sleeping pool and I can’t get out--!” _

“You’re just lucky that you and your mans have to adopt to have kids, Asshole!” Dad snarled and Dunma promptly fell to the floor holding her sides with laughter. 

“What the fuck would you even do!?” Link cried, he was laughing so hard, “My boyfriend’s the one who’d be popping them out anyway! What’re you gonna do?! Exact revenge by making fun of the  _ Zora Prince?!” _

“I’d--I’d find something!” Dad retorted, his face growing brighter with embarrassment. “Liiiiink!” 

“YOU FUCKING DESERVE THIS!” Uncle screamed, he was laughing so hard. “Oohoooooooooo! LINK! I’ve fucking missed you, Dude!” 

“You could’ve just filled in the blanks!” Link cackled back.

“Nah!” Bazz managed to sit up, and his smile was brighter and wider than Dunma had seen in quite a while, “It’s better seeing you come back on your own terms.”

“Yeah?” Link asked, his grin faltering slightly. The way Uncle’s eyes twinkled after years of loss and heartbreak made Dunma want to cry for him. 

“Yeah,” Uncle said, patting Link on the shoulder, “Because this way, I know that you’re  _ actually _ back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dunma, Rivan, and Gaddison are the side characters that probably deserve their own separate fic with Bazz. 
> 
> Bazz is the character that deserves his own separate fic by this point. It's fine. 
> 
> Sidenote, I have been writing this chapter while Nauro has been working on an art piece of adult Reba and I'm LIVING FOR THIS SWEET LITTLE BLUEBIRD OKAY.


	12. Call a Toast for Rock Roasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having recovered a majority of his memories, Link begins to find some peace with himself and more security in his relationships. Sidon couldn't be happier for him, but a few skeletons hiding in the closet and a certain mischievous horned god are coming back to haunt him. Regardless, the couple finds their way as the other delegations across Hyrule convene. 
> 
> Across the passage time, however, a prophecy of the Great Calamity looms over a little family in Tabantha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, first of all....I hope everyone is staying safe during these trying times. With everything going on in DC today, I wanted to try and get something more...uplifting out, if for no other reason than to provide a distraction. So please, stay safe. Take your mind off things. Take care of yourselves. And I hope you enjoy the chapter! 
> 
> Other than that, please be advised that I am now getting into some MAJOR spoiler territory for Age of Calamity. If you haven't played the game yet, or haven't played all the way through, you've been warned.

For a little while, Link stopped having nightmares. It was a relief that he could sleep so peacefully. Sidon found himself staring down at Link’s peacefully sleeping form for a little too long. But he couldn’t help it. Link was just...so beautiful! Just thinking about his sweet little smile, wondering what he was dreaming about made Sidon’s heart squeeze so intensely he almost squealed. Instead, he held it in, then pressed a gentle kiss to Link’s temple before finally getting up for the morning. 

Stretching, Sidon made his way to their small little kitchen and stared down the coffee pot. He wasn’t...normally one for caffeine but it was so early that he figured a mug or two wouldn’t hurt. 

...okay, so it was three in the morning. 

And... _ okay, _ Sidon had stopped sleeping soundly the moment Link seemed to get his schedule fixed. He wasn’t sure why, he felt fine! He felt great, even! But for whatever reason, the minute Sidon tried to wind down in the evenings after putting Nami to bed he would just...toss and turn and feel wired and restless until he gave up. But he didn’t mind. Especially on peaceful mornings such as this. He enjoyed when he could step outside and have his coffee along the balcony while the sun rose and the rest of the Domain woke up. I was rather content with his life these days. For the most part. 

_ “Sidoooon,” _ a familiar, cheeky voice snarked from behind. Sidon bit back a groan when he felt his best friend - a quick-witted Zora Captain named Vali - sling an arm around his shoulder,  _ “You got your Thinking Face on, Pearl. What’s bugging you?” _

“Oh for heaven’s sake, Vali! Nothing’s wrong--” Sidon found himself snapping, but as he turned, he froze. No one was beside him. Vali was gone. Vali died. 

Sighing to himself, a wave of grief quickly came and went, but he shook it off. “You’re getting lost in the past again Sidon,” Sidon said to himself, rolling his eyes. Vali had been on his mind a lot lately, even though he tried to forget. He supposed it wasn’t fair to his friend’s memory to just...bury it all. But how else was he supposed to cope? The two of them had been friends since preschool and were conjoined at the hip for over a century before he--

Sidon shook those negative thoughts off again. He’d failed his friend in so many ways, but the one promise he could still keep was to focus on the present and the positive. He could do that. He needed to be that for the family he still had. So, Sidon exhaled a deep cleansing breath and leaned back into his morning coffee. The sun danced across the buildings and the glittering water below. Life was good. 

But then Sidon felt  _ arms _ slinking around his waist and a head that was way too tall to be Link’s resting on his shoulder. It felt so natural to lean into the embrace when he heard Vali’s voice chuckling again and whispering,  _ “You know the kids’ll be fine, right? Yesterday was just eventful, is all! Especially for Nikko.” _

“What children?! I wasn’t even thinking about Nikko!” Sidon snapped, spinning around again to find he was once again snapping at air. Sidon deflated with a little grunt. Oh Hylia, was his lack of sleep causing hallucinations? Was he really being visited by ghosts at four in the morning? 

Another familiar, but  _ grating _ voice chuckled in the back of Sidon’s mind, and he honestly wondered if he was going crazy,  _ “Not a ghost, Prince Sidon. An alternate...opportunity, if you will.” _

“Oh great,” Sidon spat under his breath, “The statue’s following me.”

_ “What can I say? I like seeing through your eyes,” _ the statue (God? Spirit? Curse? Was he cursed?!) chuckled.  _ “And I must say, you do have nice eyes.” _

“Oh Goddess Above, can you  _ please _ get out of my head?” Sidon whined, pacing around a little bit. “I don’t need this--you’re in Hateno!” 

_ “My body is but...well, you’ve presented me with a unique opportunity to travel and see the world, Prince Sidon!” _ the statue (he was just going to call it the statue at this point) snickered. Sidon frowned. 

“And...when exactly did I do that?” Sidon snapped. 

_ “When you accepted my offer to change the past,” _ the statue responded simply, as if that explained everything. Suddenly, as Sidon heard echoes of Vali’s laughter and chattering children that did not belong to him, he jumped in a panic. 

“What?!” Sidon gasped, feeling his heart drop. He...had a very sudden urge to just...to just go back inside and check to make sure his boyfriend and daughter were still there. By the time Sidon made a beeline to Nami’s room and swung the door open to still find her snoozing in her pool, he deflated again. 

He needed to see the doctor about a sleep aid. 

_ “I mean, you do need to do that,” _ the statue was reading his damn mind again,  _ “But rest assured, it is not  _ your _ reality that is changing, Prince Sidon. At least the echoes that you are hearing.” _

“Then what are they?” Sidon hissed through grit teeth as he stomped back into the kitchen to pour another cup of coffee. 

_ “Echoes of what might be if you...follow through on my offer,” _ the statue answered, although his  _ (his?!) _ voice began to fade,  _ “I’ll be back for you...and the other Champions, if they are willing. In due time, Prince Sidon.” _

“Wait--what on earth are you talking about?!” Sidon snapped, spinning around in one more attempt to try and find an owner to it. When he spun, however, he froze stiff when he saw Vali standing there clear as day. 

The man was exactly as Sidon remembered him. Slender, with sunset orange scales that practically glowed in the morning light. He leaned up against the leg he still had to take weight off his prosthetic, then gave a curious little grin, “What’s the matter?”

“I…” Sidon gasped, swallowing a lump in his throat. “I--miss you.”

To his complete and utter amazement, Vali snickered and shook his head, “I’m right here.”

Sidon heaved, trying and failing once again to ignore the literal flood of emotion that beat him like an ocean wave. It nearly pushed him forward, nearly left him running into his old friend’s arms. But at the last moment, a little head brushed past Sidon and froze him back into place. With a gasp, Sidon watched as a smaller ray of sunshine rushed up to Vali, cheering excitedly as they held up a painting. 

_ “Daddy! Daddy! Look what I made at school!”  _ the little Zora jumped up and down excitedly, and when he saw the way their little stump of a tail wiggled in delight against its brace, Sidon nearly cried out for a child he knew was long gone. 

_ “Oh wow!” _ Vali gasped, his attention quickly turning as if he couldn’t see Sidon any more. The air left Sidon’s gills as he watched Vali take the piece of parchment in his hands and examine the painting. He also watched as Nikko hovered excitedly around him as his face lit back up.  _ “This is amazing, Sweetie! Come on, we gotta show Dad!” _

The way Nikko gasped in delight as he took hold of Vali’s hand to dance out of view was absolutely breathtaking,  _ “Okay!” _

So Vali turned, and as the two of them marched to another part of the room, their images faded. Then they disappeared altogether. Sidon remained there, breathless for several more moments trying to process it all. He had to have been hallucinating. He had to have been dreaming, but amidst the entire exchange, one particular thought that left Sidon stuck was the way Vali cheered, “...Dad?”

* * *

The sounds of a pan frying jerked Revali awake for a moment. He let out a groan, then rolled over to try and fall back asleep. The smell of something  _ burning, _ however, had Revali sitting up so fast he swung and fell out of the hammock. 

“Aaaah I think I’m ruining it!” Link whined from the kitchen. He was dancing nervously around the stove with his sleeves rolled up while his mother hovered over him. 

“Mm,” Clara crossed her arms contemplatively, “No, no, I think you can save it just--here, sop up some of this grease.”

“Why is bacon so hard?!” Link gasped, causing Clara to giggle brightly. Ugh, morning people. 

“How on  _ earth _ did you fuck up bacon?” Revali snapped, alerting the two blondes to his presence. Standing up, he dusted himself off and narrowed his gaze at the idiot who somehow stole his heart and refused to give it back, “You just plop it in a pan and let it sit!” 

“Well, I wanted it to have  _ flavor!” _ Link protested, his fingers dancing sarcastically in the air. 

“It--it’s a slab of fat and meat,” Revali pointed indignantly at the plate of overly crispy bacon. “It has flavor.” 

“Only if you’ve had it the way my mom makes it!” Link snapped back, pointing his spatula (why did he have a spatula!?) sternly at his mother. “I’m trying to cook like my mom here!” 

“Why!?” Revali barked back, “Your cooking is fine!”

“Yeah, for a crusty, lonely old  _ man!” _ Link bit back, “Let me have this!”

“Okay, you’re both about to go in circles,” Clara interjected, grabbing Link by the shoulders and spinning him back towards the stove. “Try to avoid bickering, would you? You both have...a big day ahead.”

Revali stilled at that, admittedly eyeing Link with a certain amount of anxiety. Today was the day. It was Zelda’s seventeenth birthday, and that little... _ egg thing _ had prophesized today to be when the Calamity struck. Link only had so much time to get the Princess to the Spring of Wisdom, and Revali found himself holding his breath while his gaze lingered. 

Would they really not get to see their honeymoon?

“Link you’re doing it wrong,” Revali snapped, pushing any and every anxious thought out of his mind. He watched as Link’s back stiffened like a twig had snapped, but just as his hackles raised, his threshold cratered and suddenly he was using his insult to wrap his arms around his husband’s waist. Link stood there, stiffly for a moment, but eventually relaxed in the embrace. 

Then, Link sighed, “We’re gonna be okay, Revali--”

“You don’t know that,” Revali hissed back, hugging Link tighter. “As a matter of fact, we know pretty well that we won’t be!”

“Revali,” Link snapped, pushing Revali away just enough to turn around and face him. With a stern gaze, he bumped his forehead against Revali’s. “We have the element of surprise. This won’t be like what that guardian saw.”

Revali fought back every urge and itch to push Link away, to brush him off with a snide remark or even an insult. But he couldn’t. He just wanted to know that when he walked out the door later this morning, it wouldn’t be the last time he saw his family. 

Thankfully (or unfortunately) Revali couldn’t dwell on those thoughts long enough to get too bitchy, for a little bluebird stirred in her own hammock. With a gentle sigh, Reba lifted her sleepy little head and her down feathers flew quite literally  _ everywhere. _ Sticking up on end, some loose sheds in her pillow, floating lazily to the floor,  _ everywhere. _ With spring just around the corner, Revali expected her to start molting soon. He just...hadn’t realized how  _ much _ little kids could just shed. 

Hylia, she shed worse than Twilight half the time. That fucking dog just got his fur  _ everywhere _ and Link just  _ haaaad _ to insist on keeping him when he followed Reba home! Honestly, Revali wasn’t even sure he was a dog, he was so fucking huge and he’d just. Howl at random hours of the night. Or Revali would wake up to the damn thing just staring at him like he had the intelligence of a person. It was weird. 

“What’s...burning?” Reba asked sleepily, her sweet little eyes still heavy with sleep. 

“Nothing!” Link jumped, hiding the spatula behind his back as he let three more pieces of bacon burn right in front of Revali. 

“Your fathers are just trying to cook breakfast is all, Sweetie,” Clara grinned, stepping around Link and Revali, then over a slumbering Twilight to get to Reba. She lifted the little bird out of the hammock, and sighed, “Now, let’s get some of these down feathers brushed out!”

“Mmmmmm,” Reba whined a little, “I was...kind of hoping you could cook today, Grandma…”

“Yeah?” Clara grinned, and Revali watched as all of Link’s hope and confidence shattered like thin ice. “Why is that?”

“It’s sooooo tasty,” Reba cooed, still half asleep and unaware of how bluntly she was speaking. Revali was  _ snorting _ as he bent over, he couldn’t contain his laughter. Clara shot him a look, but then smiled back to Reba while she smoothed down her feathers. 

“Oh, but your Papa’s trying so hard to make you breakfast before he heads out!” Clara insisted, trying to lift her spirits. Revali was on the floor wheezing while Link continued to deflate and the last of the bacon began to charr. Reba hummed contemplatively as she looked up at Link, then with a sigh she looked as if she was visibly forcing her polite excitement. 

“Thank you, Papa!” Reba giggled, her little tail feathers doing a wiggle. “I bet it’s really tasty!” 

Link’s expression was absolutely sour as he slumped forward, “Yeah thanks.”

“I’m honest!” Reba pleaded, looking up at Link with big eyes. “I’m excited to try it!” 

Reba was so honest, so sweet, and trying  _ so hard _ to be genuine in her statement that it almost made Revali pity Link. But no, his girl was a savage - even if only on accident - and he was so proud. 

As much as Link tried to make one piece of bacon edible, it was a good thing Clara had been in charge of the rest of breakfast. Still, Revali had to admit (if only to himself) that he appreciated Link’s effort. He had certainly come a long way in the last month of learning from his mom. Besides, it wasn’t like Revali could blame Link from his lack of skill. He’d always wanted to learn, it was just his jackass of a father didn’t let him. 

It was just...Revali wondered how many meals he’d have to pretend to stomach before Link figured out the more...complicated recipes. 

Assuming he’d live to have to stomach more recipes, that was. 

Revali squawked a little, trying to shake that thought out of his head without defaulting to bullying his husband. He promised he was going to work on that. 

Specifically, he promised  _ Reba _ he was going to work on that. And he couldn’t stand seeing her sad little birdy eyes that mirrored the fucking dog’s when they argued. 

The four of them largely ate in silence, and as the sun continued to rise, Link grew stiff. When he stood up to reluctantly clean off the table, his cheeks were pale and his eyes were glazed over with worry. 

“Papi?” Reba chirped quietly, capturing Revali’s attention. When he glanced down at her, she looked smaller than the day she hatched as she reached out to hold his hand for a little while longer. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I--” Revali grunted, and suddenly he didn’t know what to say. It seemed like just yesterday that he was catching a group of kids picking on her in the playroom of their orphanage. Just yesterday when she asked if he could be her big brother. Just yesterday when he was an angry teen who scoffed her off until suddenly, he fell in love. He never quite placed where or how that little girl tore open his scared, angry little heart and made a nest there, but he was glad that she had. And now...he wasn’t just a big brother at the orphanage, he was her  _ father. _ He adopted her. He married Link. Then, Link’s mother took all three of them in. For once, he had a family. So for once, he was scared to death of the Calamity taking all that away. 

So, Revali dropped the theatrics and scooped little Reba into the tightest hug. And he held her for as long as time would allow. He wouldn’t cry though. No, he could do that when this was all over. For now, he just had to be strong and hope for the best. “I’ll be home soon, Reba.”

Against his shoulder, he heard Reba sniffling and she whimpered, “I-is Papa gonna be okay?”

“He’s going to do his best,” Revali answered, looking up at Link who gazed back with a frightened stare. “We all will.”

“It’ll be okay,” Clara assured, kneeling down to brush feathers out of both of their faces. “No matter what happens, Revali, she and I will stick together. Okay?”

Revali nodded his head, and he hated to admit that he was shaking when he finally let go of the hug. He watched for a moment as Link dropped to one knee to sign something to Reba, but the minute he broke composure and pulled her into a hug, Revali had to look away. So it sure didn’t help when he was met with Clara looking at him with matching tearful eyes. 

And then she had to hold her arms out for a hug and Revali almost cussed her out. He didn’t. He deserved a fucking award that he didn’t, but Urbosa wasn’t hear to grant it to him. So instead, he reluctantly accepted the hug, then nearly kicked his own ass for letting out a singular sob. 

“Take care of each other,” Clara begged, hugging Revali tightly. He could just feel her tears dripping onto his shoulder. 

“Y-yeah,” Revali’s voice was hoarse as he steeled himself back up, “You too.”

When it was Link’s and Clara’s turn to hug it out, Revali scooped Reba up into his arms for one more moment, but quickly transferred her into Clara’s arms as they stepped out the doorway. He wasn’t sure how long the two of them stood at the doorway, watching them. Revali just knew that he had to keep his eyes forward and hold onto Link when they boarded Vah Medoh. Otherwise, he probably would’ve turned back and hid in the cabin with his family like a fucking coward. 

“Alright, show’s over,” Revali shook his head as soon as the bay doors were closed, “We can both cut the waterworks.”

“You can’t be fucking serious,” Link snapped, his eye twitching a little when he turned his head back to their house. Revali fought  _ hard _ not to follow his husband’s gaze as Medoh gained altitude, because he wasn’t about to start fucking crying again. 

He was going to see Reba again. He was going to see Clara again. 

He was going to see Reba grow up, dammit. 

“Oh I am,” Revali shook his head, snarling more to himself than to Link. “Now, you guys need to be leaving the palace in less than an hour if you’re going to get Zelda to the Spring of Wisdom on time. So I’d march my happy ass to the travel gate, if I were you.” 

“Are you--” Link sputtered, his words leaving him as he spun around a bit. “Revali!”

“What?” Revali snarked back, marching towards the circular pad at a pace too fast for Link to argue through sign language. Well, Link could argue, but Revali wasn’t looking at him. “Take her to the spring, awaken her voodoo magic, or whatever, I’ll put Medoh in position, then single-handedly defeat Calamity Ganon all by myself!” 

Revali couldn’t help but chuckle to himself at the thought. Oh, how priceless the King’s face would be if that were to actually come to pass. It would be priceless enough that Link was the Twink who’d be saving them all, but something about getting to look Hyrule in the face and declare that a  _ Rito orphan _ was the one to save the day was just...oh so satisfying! 

“You are not taking aim on  _ shit _ until you get the signal!” Link finally managed to snap verbally. “Revali! Seriously! Don’t put yourself at risk--”

“Link, I’ll be fine!” Revali rolled his eyes as he spun around, but he froze when he saw those desperate blue eyes, that quivering lip, and those  _ tears. _ Oh. Revali slumped forward a little bit. “You can’t seriously be crying right now.”

“Aaaaagh!” Link threw his hands up, “Revali! For fuck’s sake, you’re my husband and I’m scared to death! Okay?! I shouldn’t even  _ be  _ the Hero if I can’t--”

“Link,” Revali rushed forward, placing firm hands on Link’s shoulders. He felt his heart and his emotional stool sample both soften at the sight of his husband seriously  _ doubting _ his own abilities. “You can do this.”

“But--” Link blinked away the tears, lost the words, and signed, “But what if I can’t?”

“You will,” Revali nodded. “The sword chose you for a reason, and if that reason is simply because you’re willing to look impending doom in the face and still tell Purah that her half-assed plan is a good idea, then...I’m willing to take anything at this point.”

Link pursed his lips a little, glancing downward in his attempt to suck his tears back in. Taking a deep breath, he nodded, “I--I love you.”

Revali frowned, “Now don’t start that--”

“Please,” Link gripped Revali’s wing tightly, looking him in the eye. “Just drop the performative tough guy banter for  _ one fucking second.” _

Oh, Revali did not want to do that. Revali was One Performative Tough Guy Banter away from bursting out into hysterical tears. But...Link  _ was _ practically begging, “Okay.”

Taking several more breaths, Link blinked his remaining tears away and dared to smile. The fucker. “I love you,” he said. “I love you more than anything and--I know I haven’t been  _ great _ with Reba but I love her too. I love the family you’ve given me and--I don’t want to lose this.”

“Ohhhhh!” Revali rocked his head back. Fuck, the tears were coming. “Link, let me put the Asshole Mask back on--!”

“No! I’m crying so you gotta sit with this too!” Link sniffled, though he was laughing. Revali glared at anything but his husband, scoffing when Link had the  _ audacity _ to reach forward and brush a few tears out of his own eyes. “I just want you to know, Revali that--if shit goes south. If all we were meant to have was this one month together...then it was all worth it.”

Revali was  _ glaring _ at Link as he let out a few wimpers. And he was glaring harder when he let himself sob in his husband’s arms, snarling, “Just because I feel the same way doesn’t mean we’re throwing in the towel. I expect to see you  _ tonight _ for  _ dinner, _ Sir.”

Link let out a few sobs of his own, clinging to Revali’s feathers when he giggled, “Yeah, okay.”

“That’s an order.”

“I said okay!” 

“You better not be late or I’ll beat your ass.”

“Okay,” Link melted a little in Revali’s arms before he finally tore away. When he finally stepped on the travel gate, he wiped his eyes dry and winked, “But if I  _ am _ late, you better not lock yourself in Medoh to mope again.”

“I make absolutely no promises!” Revali spat, sticking his tongue out at his husband. Link laughed, and it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. Then, as Link’s image glowed bright and disappeared, Revali found himself praying to every Goddess Above that some sort of miracle would help them pull through this day. 

Revali just...didn’t realize that the miracle would have to involve the Twirp and his friends, of all people. 

* * *

The next time Zelda came to visit the Domain, it was for a more international meeting. Specifically, it was a chance to (officially) appoint the new Champions and (from Father’s end) try to nudge Zelda into prioritizing her coronation. 

Supposedly, she also brought that little... _ guardian _ with her again. Though Sidon had yet to see her. 

“I dare say it’s been a full century since we last had a gathering of delegations at the Domain!” Dad grinned merrily. “At least one this big!”

“Aye, sir,” Muzu nodded in agreement. “It’s been at least since you were shorter than Sidon.”

“I have a hard time picturing you shorter than me, Father,” Sidon teased, a grin flashing across his face. Dad scoffed indignantly and rolled his eyes a little, prompting Sidon to have to stifle his giggles. 

“Oh  _ really?”  _ Dad retorted. “So you don’t remember tackling me down two sets of stairs?”

Sidon shrugged a little, failing to keep a straight face. Dad’s expression grew more sour. 

“Or wrestling me to the ground? Slinging me over your shoulder like a ragdoll?” Dad pressed. 

“That last one must’ve been one of my friends,” Sidon snickered, and he watched Bazz promptly turn and march out of view. 

“For legal purposes, it wasn’t me,” Bazz snapped at Sidon, and Sidon could only  _ cackle _ at his expense. 

“It wasn’t Bazz!” Dad defended, pouting a little. “Sidon, I know it was you!” 

Sidon kept giggling at his father’s expense, though he resumed his duties for the day. The Goron delegation was quick to arrive, and Link had apparently gotten distracted by something called a “Rock Roast Challenge” that Yunobo asked him about. So Sidon took it upon himself to pick Nami up from school while they awaited for their Rito and Gerudo friends. 

Well, Sidon sat out in the courtyard gossiping with a group of moms while Nami played with her friends. He was engrossed in his conversation with Mei when a flash of white in the sky caught his eye. Glancing upward, he smiled a little when he saw the Rito Champion Teba swooping downward in a graceful landing, several other Rito following quickly behind. 

“Teba!” Sidon grinned cheerfully. As the Chief landed behind, he added, “And Master Kaneli! It is so good to see you both.”

“It is good to finally see you again, Prince Sidon,” Chief Kaneli smiled warmly. 

“Indeed,” Teba grunted a little, and Sidon wondered for a moment as to why he was hunched over until he saw another fluffy white head poke out from behind him. With an excited gasp, Teba’s little boy began squirming and attempting to slide off of his back. “Now, Tulin, what do you say to Prince Sidon?”

“Is Nami here?!” Tulin chirped excitedly, slipped out of his father’s embrace, then fluttered frantically so he didn’t completely splat on the ground. 

“Tulin!” Teba barked, his eyes going wide, but Sidon could only break out into a hearty laugh. 

“She’s over by the statue, Dear Boy!” Sidon chuckled pointing little Tulin in the right direction. Tulin chirped again, his little wings lifting him off the ground before he took off running without a second thought. 

“Tulin--” Teba reached out for the boy, gave up, then shook his head, “I am so sorry, Sir.”

“Oh, he’s alright!” Sidon chuckled, “Trust me, Nami is the same way when we are on long trips.”

Teba eyed Sidon skeptically, then eyed Tulin even more skeptically while Kaneli snickered at the exchange. “Oh come now, Teba! I promise you that Prince Sidon is as personable as I say he is! He’s friends with Link, afterall!” 

“Why yes, I hope I’m not too intimidating--wait, did you say friends?” Sidon paused, though he couldn’t help but get distracted as he watched Nami cheer out Tulin’s name then immediately tackle him. Then punched him when Tulin asked if Tumbo was her boyfriend. “Oh! MINAMI!”

“I’m okay!” Tulin giggled, flapping excitedly around the pair of little blue Zora while he mocked them both. “Nami’s got a boyfriend! Nami’s got a boyfriend!”

“Sh-she’s not my type!” Tumbo whined. Sidon bit back a groan, said a prayer to the Goddesses that Nami wouldn’t throw a tantrum on Tulin, then turned his attention back to the Rito gathering around him. 

“I’m sorry,” Sidon looked pleadingly to Teba. “What were we saying again?”

“Um,” Teba’s gaze shifted from Kaneli to Sidon and back, “Yes, we were discussing your friendship to Link, Sir.”

“Oh. Right,” Sidon straightened himself. Friends?  _ Friends? _ Boyfriends, yes, but just  _ friends? _ “Now, if I may be so bold, Link  _ is _ Nami’s other father--”

“Yes, and I think that’s wonderful!” Kaneli cheered. Sidon pursed his lips a little when he wrapped his wings around both Teba and Sidon’s shoulders, “To help with raising a child, I wouldn’t expect less from the Hero’s descendant!” 

“He…” Sidon squinted a little, trailing off. Oh dear. “Oh dear.”

“Hm?” Kaneli looked up, and Sidon could tell by his innocent delight that the Rito were  _ just _ that clueless. “Is something the matter, Prince Sidon?”

“Ahhhh,” Sidon felt himself grimacing, then forced a smile. This was going to be a conversation for another day when he had the Rito delegation merry on drinks, just in case. “Not at all, Sir! Now, you all must be tired. Shall I show you to your rooms?”

The accompanying Rito all but cheered in relief as Sidon led the small group to the Inn. They had to pause when they realized Tulin and Nami were both straggling, but eventually got the two children to say goodbye to their friends. As soon as the group started filtering away, Sidon began to relax a little, in need of a nap. Teba paused as he sent his son into their room to freshen up, looking up at Sidon skeptically, “May I ask a personal question?”

“Why--of course!” Sidon smiled, straightening up a little bit. 

Teba hummed contemplatively, his gaze even more serious when he looked around and asked, “You and...Master Link are more than just friends, right?”

Sidon snorted a little, but smiled, “Yes, Teba. Link and I are dating.”

“I figured,” Teba hummed, “I--I apologize for the Chief. He is a great man, he just--well, the Rito are just ignorant at times. Call it our downfall for being so influenced by Hylian culture.”

“Oh,” Sidon chuckled, “Teba, believe me, the Zora are in a similar boat. And you wouldn’t think we would be!”

“Fair enough,” Teba tilted his head and though his expression was still serious, he had a kind glint in his eyes. “Again...I apologize if I came off as rude, Prince Sidon--”

“Oh nonsense!” Sidon waved him off. “I appreciate you asking.”

Teba hummed, then crossed his arms. Then he looked down, “I...never met them, but apparently my grandfathers were together. And married. But because of the times, they married in secret to avoid trouble. I hope you and Link don’t have to suffer a similar fate.”

“Goodness, that must have been a century ago,” Sidon frowned. “Link did mention that neither his father nor King Rhoam were very open minded.”

“King...Rhoam?” Teba grunted. “How would he have been alive during that time?”

“Link--was in a coma?” Sidon grunted, confused, “You know--after the Calamity?”

“But...he’s the descendant of the Hero,” Teba blinked several times. Sidon felt his jaw hit the floor. 

“Link  _ is _ the Hero,” Sidon corrected, watching in confusion as Teba looked even more confused. Almost angry, even. 

“How can he be the Hero if he never even--!?” Teba threw his wings up, then composed himself with a deep cleansing breath all the sudden. “I--forgive me, Sir. I must be tired.”

“Teba,” Sidon gasped, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Teba shook his head, “Just...I have a lot to think on, Sir.”

Sidon frowned, not sure what mental game of gymnastics that Teba was playing, but a sick pit formed in his stomach that made him almost want to ask the question. 

Teba had two grandfathers. 

Two grandfathers who were married.

Two grandfathers who were married in secret.

Ohhhhhhh dear, and Reba did say she had a son that Sidon’s clumsy and neglectful tail never got the chance to meet. 

But instead of asking directly, Sidon avoided hearing the news he dreaded to hear by stating, “For...what it’s worth, Teba, Link has had complete and total amnesia since he awakened in the Shrine of Resurrection. He’s only just now starting to remember his past.”

“So then,” Teba’s gaze flitted up to Sidon, “How much... _ does _ he remember?”

Sidon smiled, feeling a little guilty that he was too afraid to hear the news of another friend that was probably gone, “You could always ask him yourself, Teba.”

* * *

“You just  _ had _ to bring the seal,” a young Gerudo named Faro bitched. Riju simply rolled her eyes as she brushed out the fur of her beautiful Patricia. 

“Well, I’m sorry that sand seals are the best way to travel!” Riju protested with a huff. In turn, her best friend of her entire life scowled. 

“Yeah, in  _ sand!” _ Faro threw his hands up. “Riju, we could’ve been there hours ago, but Patricia keeps getting tired.”

“No she isn’t!” Riju leaned her face into Patrucia’s fur, “She’s just needs her beauty rest!”

Patricia made a groaning noise in agreement, her poignant indifference proving as to why she was the best sand seal of them all. Faro’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he grumbled nonsensically to himself and wandered away for a bit. When Patricia decided it was an appropriate time to take their leave again, it was almost sunset and--okay, maybe Riju should’ve nudged Patricia to make more haste because it  _ was _ almost dark by the time they reached the Domain. 

Granted, Riju was a little nervous to be in the Domain. 

She’d never traveled this far from home before. 

“You’re contemplating again,” Faro pointed out. “Stop that.”

“It’s just--” Riju was trying to keep from biting at her manicure, “They’re all so much  _ older _ than me!”

“Yes,” Faro rolled his eyes, “They are.”

“Especially the Zora Prince!” Riju gasped. 

“Aren’t Master Link and Prince Sidon dating?” Faro raised an eyebrow. “They’re both vai.”

“I mean  _ supposedly, _ but I don’t know if Hyrule knows and I don’t know if it’s true,” Riju shrugged. 

“Well, who told you?”

“Link.”

“Riju,” Faro glared at her. Riju frowned back up at him. Faro continued giving her a pointed glance as they marched across the (really immaculate) bridge leading into the Domain. Riju almost hoped they could sneak into the Inn without too much attention, but sure enough, Prince Sidon was as prompt and poised as his reputation. 

“Chief Riju!” Prince Sidon greeted as warmly as he did in their meetings in Hyrule. “How was your trip?”

“I-it was good!” Riju grinned, trying to look more put together than she was. “Thank you, Prince Sidon.”

The Prince smiled warmly, taking a moment to greet the delegation traveling with her. She watched as he moved, and then she felt Faro nudge her and grin, “Oh, I like him.”

“Faro!” Riju hissed, then straightened back up when she accidentally caught the Prince’s attention.

“Also,” Prince Sidon smiled, “Is this your friend Link was telling me about?”

“Oh--yes, Sir!” Riju didn’t know whether it was appropriate to bow or curtsey at this point. “This is--this is Faro! He’s a singer!”

Faro’s smile fell a little and he sighed. “Thank you, Riju.”

“Oh, well that’s fun!” Prince Sidon grinned. “I do rather enjoy a show tune once in a while!”

_ “Voekaloi,” _ Faro swore under his breath, though he maintained a pleasant smile. “Yes--I--I appreciate you for allowing me to accompany my friend on this trip.”

“Why, of course!” Prince Sidon grinned merrily. “I’m just grateful that Madame Zaera is able to meet with you about your...what was the medical issue you were having again?”

“My entire gender,” Faro nodded with a smile, “Sir.”

This time, Prince Sidon’s smile faltered slightly. Though he looked more confused, than anything, “A-ah.”

“Because--” Faro gazed up at Prince Sidon with amusement and Riju wanted to clock him upside the head. Waving his hands merrily he said, “Because I’m a man but I’m a Gerudo and Gerudo--we have breasts you see.”

“I...am following,” Sidon bobbed his head a little, maintaining a smile. He wasn’t following. 

“Oh Seven Heroines,” Riju shook her head, “Prince Sidon, please ignore him.”

“Or not,” Faro crossed his arms in amusement. “I could even sing a show tune, if you’d like!”

“Faro!”

“I do enjoy those!” Prince Sidon’s tail started wagging and Riju wanted to literally murder her best friend. 

* * *

Link was riding a weird high that felt both foreign and familiar at the same time. He wasn’t sure why, but something about hearing Gorons chanting his name loudly while he got absolutely smashed over rock roasts that was absolutely exhilarating. 

“WOOOOW!” Yunobo cheered, “You’re amazing, Link!” 

Link swallowed his last bite, then let out a loud belch in an attempt to come up for air. Throwing his plate down, he yelled, “THAT ALL YOU GOT!?” 

There was another set of cheers as another roast slid his way. He grabbed it gleefully, ready to chow down, but when the door swung open he paused as Nami cheered, “PAPAAAAA!”

“Whaaat!?” Link grunted, turning his attention to Nami and Tulin as the children scampered up to him. 

“Papa! Papa! Papa!” Nami was bouncing on her feet while Tulin fluttered excitedly by her. “Tulin and I have made a riveting discovery! Wait--what are you eating?”

“A rock roast,” Link grunted. “What did you discover?”

Any and all thought left Nami with her wagging tail and curious giggles. Pulling on Link’s tunic, she grinned excitedly, “What’s a rock roast?”

“It’s--” Link looked down at the roast in hand. “Well, I can’t exactly say that it’s food for  _ you.” _

Unfortunately, when Link thought she would give it a rest, Nami and Tulin  _ both _ gasped in excitement. Nami’s tail started beating even faster when Tulin chirped, “Can I try it?”

“What!?” Link jumped, holding the rock roast out of reach. He hated the way the Gorons around him all gasped and encouraged the little ones to try a bit. “No! You’ll hurt yourself!” 

“But Papa!” Nami glared up at him, “I wanna try it!” 

“I don’t--” Link didn’t know why, but he felt like this was a terrible idea. “Nami, I don’t think Dad would appreciate it if I fed you something like this right before bed.”

“Oh, come on, Link!” Yunobo grinned merrily. “Rock Roasts are incredibly high in fiber and good for digestion! Let her try it!”

Link gulped nervously, not sure why he was so perterpted by the thought of his daughter eating a rock roast. But...well, he liked them! Maybe she would? “Oh...okay? But just a bite.”

Link handed the roast to Nami, then jumped when the weight of the roast almost pulled her to the ground. Hylia, the thing was almost as big as her! Was this a bad idea? This felt like a bad idea. Even Nami, as she sized it up, hesitated, “Is this a good idea?”

“Actually…” Link gulped, “M-maybe not.”

“Hmm,” Nami glanced down at the rock roast for a moment. And for a moment, Link thought he could salvage the situation, especially when he saw Bazz wander into the room and nearly have a heart attack. 

“Link, why does the Princess have a rock roast?!” Bazz gasped, shimmying past the herd of Gorons who were still egging his daughter on. 

“I’m--I can take it back,” Link offered, holding his hands out, but Nami was still debating. 

And then fucking Tulin had to be the tie-breaker, “Come onnn, Nami! Don’t chicken out now!”

“Funny coming from you!” Nami snapped, a wild grin flashing. Oh _no._ _“Chicken!”_

And then, just like that, Link watched in horror as his daughter decided she wanted to take after him after all. With a furious growl that would’ve given Sidon nightmares about enrolling their daughter in etiquette school, Nami chomped down. The moment she did, however, Link heard a sickening crunch followed almost immediately by a muffled shriek when Nami bit into the roast.

The rock roast. 

His daughter was eating a rock and suddenly, her teeth were flying everywhere. 

Like  _ everywhere. _

“Oh--NOOOO!” Link cried out, only he was too late. “NAMI!”

“OWWWW!” Nami recoiled, dropping the roast as her hands flew over her mouth. “My TEEF!”

“Oh shit--” Link felt his heart palpitating while the Gorons around him all gasped, “Oh Nami, I’m so sorry!”

He was watching Nami squinting while her eyes watered like she was in shock and didn’t know whether she was in pain or not. Thankfully Bazz came to the rescue immediately and slid down onto his knees to scoop up the nearest pile of little Zora teeth, “I got it, Link! Hey--Nami, are you bleeding?”

“I can’p feel my teef!” Nami announced, then carefully removed her hands to reveal a very gummy mouth. Hylia, all of her front teeth were knocked clear out and Link could already see the bruises as he picked up a few more stray teeth and got a better look at her. 

Bazz, however, seemed contemplative but unconcerned, “Does it hurt?”

“Ahhhh,” Nami droned, her mouth still hanging open. Her tears dried up as she thought about it, but then she shrugged, “I dunno, ip feelth weird.”

“Yeah, she’s okay,” Bazz grinned, and almost immediately the Gorons erupted into wild cheers and started chanting her name. 

Nami giggled, looking around in mild confusion while Tulin examined the rock roast in fascination, “I wanna try it!”

“Noooope!” Bazz scooped Tulin into one arm while he lifted Nami expertly into another, “Zora teeth grow back. Rito beaks can’t. You two are coming with me.”

“Awww, man!” Tulin groaned in defeat. Even Nami was trying to wiggle defiantly out of his arms. 

“Bu-Uncle Bathff!” Nami protested, her lips puckering in a funny way without any teeth to help hold her mouth shape. “My teef!” 

“Your pops and I got them, honey,” Bazz announced, trying to scoot out of everyone’s way, “Alright! Show’s over! No more eating competitions tonight, fellas!” 

The Gorons all  _ moaned _ despondently at that, though there was very little protest otherwise. Link took the opportunity to follow where Bazz was taking his daughter and her friend, noticing that Yunobo was following closely behind. 

“Oh my gosh, I am so so  _ sorry, _ Princess!” Yunobo begged, hunkering nervously over Nami the moment Bazz set her down on a bench outside. Nami looked up at him in confusion, but then shrugged. 

“If’s okay, Yuyobo!” Nami giggled and if Link wasn’t literally  _ mortified, _ he would’ve been cackling at how adorable her speech was. 

“This is all my fault,” Yunobo continued panicking, “I--Gorons like to have these competitions and--Link is so good at them that I forgot--I should’ve stopped you, I’m sorry!” 

“That was so cool!” Tulin cheered, “Your teeth went  _ flying!” _

“Link,” Bazz turned his attention away from the chattering trio and held a hand out towards him, “You grab all her teeth?”

“I--I think so,” Link deflated, “Sweet fucking Hylia, Sidon is gonna kill me.”

“Yeah,” Bazz nodded in agreement. “But you’ve survived worse.”

Link glared pointedly up at Bazz as he watched his friend count the literal cluster of teeth now in his hand, “Calamity Ganon doesn’t count, Asshole.”

“No, I was talking about Revali,” Bazz droned absently, “You know, when Reba cracked her beak on a rock--you...you  _ do _ remember that, right?”

“Uhhh,” Link’s gaze shifted from Bazz to the now currently distracted children and Yunobo, “Yes?”

“Uh-huh,” Bazz glared at Link, “Your amnesia confuses me, sometimes.”

“It confuses me all the time!” Link threw his hands up, “What, you think I  _ want _ my daughter to injure herself on a rock roast?!” 

“No, I think you’re just too stupid to remember what happens when they do!” Bazz snapped back, then knelt down in front of Nami and held his hand out, “Okay, Champ. They’re all here. Wanna make a wish?”

“Mmmm,” Nami grinned a little, her tail starting to wag, “How many wisheth do I get?”

“There’s eleven in my hand,” Bazz held it out to her, “So you can wish on them all at once or take some home. Take your pick.”

“I’m gonna spathe ‘em out for good yuck!” Nami grinned, pouted, then tried to pronounce, “I mean yuck. Mm--yyyyyyyuuuuck--fuck!” 

“Nami!” Bazz and Link both scolded, but she looked innocently up at the adults in her presence. 

“Whaaaat?” Nami batted her sweet little eyes up at them, “It wath an acthident!” 

“Like hell it was,” Link crossed his arms. Bazz rolled his eyes and plucked three of the teeth out of one hand and gave them to her. 

“Okay, you get three wishes and I’ll hand the rest to your Pops,” Bazz hummed, “Close your eyes.”

“Okay!” Nami giggled, then closed her eyes tightly. Grinning to herself, she did a little dance in her seat before blowing (spitting) on the little pearly teeth, “I made my wisheth!” 

“Nicely done!” Bazz giggled back. Link could only stare at the duo in amazement. 

“Where did...you learn that?” Link asked once Bazz handed the other eight teeth to him. 

“Yeah, I didn’t know you could make wishes on teeth,” Yunobo noted with wide eyes. 

“Oh,” Bazz grunted a little, then shrugged. “It’s a Zora thing. Hylians like to do the whole tooth fairy gimmick, but because Zora can regrow their teeth instead of leaving money, kids get to make a wish.”

“Wow,” Yunobo blinked, “You know, Captain, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you used to do that a lot with the Princess!” 

Link hadn’t thought about  _ that, _ but he was certainly shocked when Bazz shrugged and nodded his head, “I did. It was a...well, Nami was a pretty clumsy hatchling so she was always tripping, falling, knocking out her teeth, and scraping herself up. The only way Nela could really keep her calm whenever she fell was to let her make a wish on every. Single. Tooth….and then Mako was always making a show about it to the point that Nami started going  _ out of her way _ to lose teeth so...yeah, unfortunately, I have experience.”

As Bazz spoke, he glanced down at Nami who was grinning wildly back up at him while she hugged Link’s waist. Beside her, Tulin giggled and said, “That’s  _ awesome.” _

“I like wisheth!” Nami defended gleefully, her tail wagging. 

“Bazz,” Link blinked in amazement, crossing his arms a little. He looked down at Nami for a second, then back up to Bazz. He--Bazz  _ knew _ about this? “You knew her parents?”

“Of course I knew her parents,” Bazz snarked, “We were in the Royal Guard together! I was still her uncle before Sidon adopted her, you know.”

“Yeah but,” Link was still trying to wrap his head around this fact. It made sense. He should’ve made that assumption. But Bazz had  _ literally _ never brought up  _ anything _ about Nami’s parents before. It was always Sidon who did! And anytime Sidon did, he got weirdly distant with Link too! “Why didn’t you say anything?”

At that, Bazz’s expression fell in a way that startled Link. With a shrug, he said, “You never asked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let Nami Say Fuck 2021


	13. The Great Calamity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link and Bazz reflect on the moments that lead to the Great Calamity, and after. Nami and Tulin play tag with Terrako.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I--
> 
> I need to stop watching Attack on Titan while I write chapters. I also should've finished my lesson plans for the week hours ago but uh. Haven't even started. 
> 
> SO ANYWAY ENJOY THE CHAPTER :'D

_ Link cringed into the frying pan, watching the bacon sear a little too quickly. “Ahhh...I think I’m ruining it!” _

_ “Mm,” Mom hummed from over his shoulder, “No, no, I think you can still save it--here, sop up some of this grease.” _

_ Link nodded, sweating as he took the paper towel she was handing him. He kept bitching and cringing and watching the bacon still somehow burn until behind him, he heard Revali yelp. There was a loud thud that startled Link, and when he turned he found his husband splattered all over the floor.  _

_ “How on earth did you fuck up bacon?!” Revali snapped, standing back up with that stern emerald gaze. Link felt himself scowling as Revali wildly gestured to the pan, “You just plop it in a pan and let it sit!” _

_ “I wanted it to have flavor!” Link threw his hands in the air in protest.  _

_ “It’s a slab of fat and meat!” Revali protested back. “It has flavor!” _

_ “Mmmmmmm,” a fourth, tiny little voice whined from her hammock. Link, Revali, and Mom all turned to see a fluffy little bluebird lifting her head off her pillow with sleepy little eyes. “What’s...burning?” _

_ “Oh, Link’s just burning bacon is all,” Revali rolled his eyes, marching towards Reba’s hammock. Holding out his arms, he caught the little bird as she fluttered into his embrace. “You’re shedding, you know that?” _

_ “It’s too hot, Papi,” Reba whined with a coo.  _

_ “That’s because spring is coming,” Mom grinned, grabbing a feather brush off the table. “Do you want one of us to help brush some of those heavy down feathers out?” _

_ “Yes please,” Reba hummed tiredly. Link watched as his mom left him alone to watch the stove to brush out the little girl. He continued watching the two of them anxiously, and the ever-present knot forming in his stomach became noticeable.  _

_ “Link,” Revali snapped Link out of his trance. “The bacon.” _

_ “Oh,” Link grunted, “Right...uh...how do I know if it’s done?” _

_ “Hylia,” Revali rolled his eyes to stand over the stove, “It’ll be a miracle if you ever learn how to cook something edible.” _

_ “I’m trying!” Link whined, trying and failing to get the overcooked bacon off the stove and onto a plate.  _

_ “Mmhmm,” Revali groaned, “So what’s on your mind?” _

_ Link felt his throat close on that one, so he focused on plating the bacon. He continued to remain silent as he set the table, and the sounds of Reba’s delighted chirping as she woke up made the knot in his stomach all the more uncomfortable.  _

_ Revali was gonna kill him.  _

_ “Link,” Revali said sternly, “Why are you quiet?” _

_ “N-nothing,” Link grunted, “Just thinking.” _

_ “About?” Revali asked, dancing around the table with him, and Link couldn’t help but notice the way both Mom and Reba were eyeing the two of them. Letting go of a sigh, Link shook his head and signed to ask to talk about it later. So Revali brushed it off. And they sat there, the four of them, eating breakfast contently. Link watched as his family chattered excitedly about the honeymoon plans - apparently Mom wanted to take Reba to Hateno while Link and Revali were soaking it up on the beach - and he was largely quiet during most of the exchange.  _

_ “Link?” Mom pressed, and when Link looked up she had that same nervous expression she got whenever he was quiet. “Are you alright?” _

_ Link tried and failed to swallow the lump in his throat when he nodded his head. But Mom’s expression only got more worried.  _

_ “Are you sure?” Mom asked. “You’re--you’re not speaking, sweetheart.” _

_ “M’fine,” Link grunted hoarsely. He hated worrying her.  _

_ “He’s overthinking the mission,” Revali said quickly, and Link wondered why Revali was lying until he saw Mom visibly relax. And then conversation returned, and Mom let Link be until it was time to say goodbye.  _

_ Link had noticed that, in the time he and Revali had been married, Mom learned to leave Link be when he had his quiet moments. She stopped panicking so long as she had a reason for his silence. He wished he could just sign to her, he wished she could just read the book on sign language Mipha had given her, but Revali was insistent that she was trying. That she was asking questions and learning and….well, Link was just so relieved that his silence wasn’t a source of her anxiety anymore.  _

_ Besides, he didn’t blame her for his silence. He just wished it wasn’t an issue to begin with.  _

_ “Okay, I know it’s just an escort mission, but please be safe,” Mom pleaded as she hugged Link tightly. Even though they were immediately boarding Vah Medoh and heading to the capital, she still insisted on bundling Link up in his coat.  _

_ “We will,” Link hummed, hugging his mother tightly. “We should only be gone a couple of days tops so...just hang tight until we get back.” _

_ “I will,” Mom giggled, pulling out of the hug to brush out Link’s hair. Her blue eyes twinkled as she teased, “Although, there is a new quilt shop that opened up in the village, I’m sure Reba is big enough to fly us both over!” _

_ “Not without Revali’s supervision!” Link lurched forward anxiously, “Seriously!” _

_ “I’m joking, Link,” Mom winked. “Goodness, you’re turning into a bit of a nervous parent!” _

_ “I--I’m not,” Link felt himself blushing, but then looked down at where Reba was beaming up at him, though she still held onto Revali’s leg. Honestly, he kind of wanted to throw up. He especially wanted to throw up when he caught Revali gazing at him with an uncharacteristically fond expression.  _

_ “If we do take too long, however, a friend of mine offered to fly over if you two needed a break,” Revali offered.  _

_ “I’m sure we’ll be fine,” Mom insisted, “Though it will be nice when they finally get that bridge put in!” _

_ Revali grunted a little in agreement, then turned to Link, “You ready?” _

_ “Huh?” Link grunted, feeling his heart racing in his chest. Oh, he hated how anxious he got when Reba looked up at him with those sweet aqua eyes.  _

_ “Hylia,” Revali rolled his eyes, “I asked if you were ready, Link. To leave? For the mission?” _

_ “Oh,” Link deflated, “Y-yeah.” _

_ “Don’t start getting separation anxiety on me now,” Revali glared at Link. Then to his horror, Revali stooped forward to pluck Reba off the ground and deposit her in Link’s arms. Link yelped a little while Reba giggled. In hindsight, Link really wished he could turn back time to hold her close in that moment. “We’ll be back in just a few days.” _

_ “I know that!” Link snapped back. _

_ “You’re being a nervous dad--” _

_ “I AM NOT!” Link roared suddenly, unable to catch himself, and when he caught his bearings he wished he could take it all back. The wide-eyed, hurt expression Revali gave him forever burned into the recesses of Link’s mind, and as Link glanced back down to Reba now trembling in his arms, all he could do was blink away tears and lie, “I’m--I mean I’m not nervous, Asshat.” _

_ “R-Right,” Revali glanced down, and for some reason Link had a feeling Revali knew he was lying. They’d had the argument enough times, behind closed doors, for Link to realize he couldn’t cover his own ass on this one. Link wasn’t just nervous.  _

_ He didn’t want to be a father.  _

_ To make it harder, Mom seemed as oblivious as Link wanted her to be, “Good gravy, Link. You’re about to have a panic attack over an escort mission!” Chuckling, Mom wrapped her arms around his shoulders to place a kiss on the side of his head, “But I suppose the sooner you two head out, the sooner you’ll come back, so we should let you be, Kiddo. Right, Reba?” _

_ “Um…” Reba grunted a little, and Link’s heart fell.  _

_ “Reba?” Mom asked again, “Sweetie, what is it?” _

_ “I just...I know it’s not my place to wonder but…” Reba muttered, looking away with big, wet eyes.  _

_ “Wh-what is it, Reba?” Link dared to ask, holding her a little tighter like a fucking jackass.  _

_ “It’s just...Papa--er--Link gets really jumpy whenever you call him my dad,” Reba avoided eye contact from the others, but when she looked up at Link, she seemed ready to cry, “You’re...you’re just nervous right? Or...do you really not wanna be my Papa?” _

_ Link felt his heart fall out of him, because in that moment he just didn’t know what to say.  _

  
  


Link gasped when he woke up with tears in his eyes, not remembering that he fell asleep on the couch. 

Oh--oh  _ no. _

What had he done?

“That was the last time I saw her,” Link muttered to himself, feeling tears fall down his cheeks. 

“What was that?” a light, airy voice called out. Link froze, looking over to where Zelda and Sidon had been huddled over the kitchen table examining something. 

“I--” Link choked on the lump in his throat, “I...remembered something.”

That prompted Zelda to sit up a little straighter. Sidon, on the other hand, reclined and bit back a sigh having gotten both used to it and tired of Link’s unwanted flashbacks. “What did you remember?” Zelda asked with a knit brow. 

Sitting up, Link wanted to fling himself off Shatterback Point and drown in the reservoir, “How I...broke Revali’s heart.”

“Oh heavens,” Sidon shook his head, “Alright, just tell me now: is this a mope alone in our room for an hour, cry on my lap for a spell, or a shot of whiskey? If it’s the last one, I am telling you now that you can  _ only _ have one--”

“I broke Reba’s heart,” Link blurted. “I--I told her  _ explicitly _ that I didn’t want to be her dad.”

“Link, we’ve been through this!” Sidon protested, but Link could barely hear him over the thundering of his own heart. “You weren’t fully prepared for fatherhood, sure, and you made mistakes in how you handled it but there wasn’t a  _ second _ when Reba doubted that you didn’t care for her--”

“Sidon!” Link felt himself losing it, “It was the day of the Calamity!”

“Link, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad--”

“No, Sidon,” Zelda finally interjected. As she deflated, Link wanted to scream, “It--it was.”

* * *

_ Bazz paced anxiously in the waiting room like a maniac. By the third time he looked over to where Mipha was calmly reading her book, he almost snapped.  _

_ “Yes?” Mipha hummed, looking playfully up at Bazz. He knew she knew what he was thinking.  _

_ “Why aren’t you in there with him?” Bazz gestured towards the doors leading to the hospital room.  _

_ “Because Gaddison is?” Mipha smiled. “Bazz, it’ll be fine--” _

_ “But what if it isn’t?!” _

_ “Then Madame Zaera will come get me and I’ll use my powers so that it is,” Mipha smiled warmly. “If you’re so worried, you can go check on him--” _

_ “I don’t wanna walk in on shit I’m not prepared for,” Bazz pinched the bridge of his snout and Mipha spat up a laugh.  _

_ “Oh heavens, don’t tell me the brave and strong Lieutenant Bazz is afraid of childbirth!” Mipha giggled, and Bazz felt his scales ruffling.  _

_ “I’m not scared!” Bazz shrieked, feeling his voice betray him when it cracked up several octaves. “I just--I dunno, I never saw myself as the type to want kids. Hell, I never even saw Rivan as the type but then this happened and he--well, he’s been so excited and...aaaah, I dunno.” _

_ “Well, if you don’t want kids, that’s totally your call--” _

_ “But I don’t know if I don’t,” Bazz grimaced. “I...ugh, it’s complicated.” _

_ Bazz plopped down on the chair next to Mipha, holding his head in his hands. He was so young to be even contemplating this, so why was he? Most Zora didn’t even start  _ thinking _ about children until at least their 50’s. He had time! Why was he freaking out?  _

_ Right, because his best friend forgot what a condom was during a hook-up, and now he was head-over-heels for his new daughter and then decided to name Bazz the godfather. That was why.  _

_ “Um...if I may be so bold,” Mipha finally spoke up, and Bazz felt a small hand graze his back. “What has you conflicted?” _

_ “Mmm,” Bazz whined.  _

_ “I only ask because…” Mipha looked away when Bazz looked up at her, “Well, Link’s been on a similar kick except--well, you know that Reba isn’t actually Revali’s sister, right?” _

_ “I...gathered that much,” Bazz grunted, “Didn’t Revali adopt her from the orphanage he grew up in?” _

_ “Yes,” Mipha sighed, “And Revali’s decided that he would...that he would like to make an effort to be an actual father-figure for her, but Link’s not--Link hasn’t exactly been fond of the idea.” _

_ “I don’t see why,” Bazz droned, “He’s great with Reba and she already calls him ‘Papa’.” _

_ “It’s because of General Wilde, Bazz,” Mipha sighed heavily, “His father.” _

_ “That scumbag?” Bazz snorted, “The fuck does he have to do with Link’s parenting?” _

_ “Link’s afraid of becoming like Geoff,” Mipha explained, staring pointedly at Bazz. “So he thinks that...he thinks that if he doesn’t have children, then he can’t burden children with his trauma.” _

_ “Okay, but he’s a little late on that one if he’s married Revali knowing that--” Bazz felt himself short-circuit mid-sentence, “Mipha, what the hell does this have to do with me?” _

_ “Well, I just--I know you’ve mentioned having a...strained relationship with your own parents,” Mipha shrugged. “I didn’t know if that had anything to do with it?” _

_ “Oh,” Bazz grunted, his mothers’ pointed expressions flashing behind his eyes, “No, it’s nothing like Link’s situation. Nothing like that at all. My moms are...well, they’re just strict is all. They didn’t want me going into the military at all. Especially Mama, she--she lost her own father at a young age in a scuffle with the Muzan Gang back when King Dorephan was still a prince. She doesn’t want me going through that or...putting a family through that.” _

_ “I had no idea,” Mipha frowned, and Bazz wasn’t sure why she looked suddenly so ready to cry. Did she know something? “Bazz, I’m so sorry.” _

_ “It’s old history,” Bazz shrugged, “But...yeah. Between Mama’s blind fear that I’m gonna fucking croak despite being in an era of peace and Ma’s insistance that I should’ve gone into research at Hateno University with the grades I had in school...well. They aren’t exactly thrilled about my career choice or the idea of me having a family with this career choice.” _

_ “Oh,” Mipha’s voice sounded like a little mouse. “But...I’m sure Kara recognizes that we  _ are _ in an era of unprecedented peace. And Mali must be proud to know you’ve joined the corps of engineers, right?”  _

_ Bazz let out a heavier sigh, but got himself distracted when the large double doors swung open suddenly. He looked up and discovered Rivan standing there, legs spread in some kind of horse stance while Gaddison howled with laughter and rolled a stand full of IV bags behind him. Letting out a tired growl, the bags under his eyes got a little more prominent: “I am never doing this again!”  _

_ “Fucking hell, Rivan!” Bazz snorted. Even Mipha had to cover her mouth and giggle. “You look like shit! What are you even doing?” _

_ “Aaaaagh!” Rivan snarled, “The Old Bat’s making me  _ walk _ to the fucking delivery pools.” _

_ “Rivan, behave yourself!” Rivan’s mom - Darla - swatted his shoulder with a roll of paper as she appeared beside Gaddison. “Madame Zaera’s the best of the best and you would do well to address her with more respect!”  _

_ “Mom, I’m in labor and I can feel her dorsal fin pressing against my pelvis,” Rivan whined pitifully, “Let me bitch!”  _

_ “If you can feel her dorsal fin, that’s all the more reason for you to keep walking,” Madame Zaera stepped around the family unit to pull Rivan along, “We’re using gravity to line the hatchling up properly and you would do well to move before your next contraction hits.” _

_ “But--” _

_ “No buts!”  _

_ “Hey,” Gaddison snickered, “If you do what she says, I’ll give you a little treat when you get home.” _

_ “I don’t want to think about sex, Gadd,” Rivan sighed tiredly. This time, it was Gaddison’s turn to swat him with the paper roll.  _

_ “I was talking about making you dinner!” Gadd protested. Rivan smiled a little bit, but then gagged in retort.  _

_ “I’ll pass,” Rivan teased, “Last time you cooked for me, you nearly burned my kitchen down.” _

_ “RIVAN--!”  _

_ “Baaaaaazz, they’re bullying me!” Rivan redirected, capturing Bazz’s attention. _

_ “Well, what do you want me to do about it?” Bazz smirked, though he did rise to his feet to help drag his friend down the hallway a little faster.  _

_ “I dunno, make them be nice?” Rivan bitched, “Not even Dad’s bailing me out, he’s still watching the Waterpolo Game from my window!”  _

_ “Oh shit, you can see the Polo game from your window?” Bazz gasped, “Why didn’t you tell me?!” _

_ “Because you’d be sucked into it with him!” Rivan snarled. “And Zaera’s not letting me watch it either!” _

_ “Bullshit, Rivan,” Gaddison rolled her eyes, “You were watching the game until Zaera came to check you this last time. You’re just mad that you can’t watch the game while you push.” _

_ “I have nothing to distract me!” Rivan whimpered. “It’s a lot, okay?” _

_ “Hylia, help us,” Bazz groaned, “Rivan. Just--Dude, you’re gonna be fine.” _

_ “I know that!”  _

_ “Then why are you stopping?” Bazz retorted, noting how Rivan had basically halted five feet from the door Zaera was now waiting expectantly at.  _

_ “I--” Rivan straightened himself, winced a little, and Bazz watched a contraction pass through his friend like a wave. Rivan didn’t cry out or anything, he just looked exhausted. Holding tightly onto Gadd’s hand, he looked down at himself and admitted, “When I come out of that room...it’s not just gonna be me that I’m responsible for.” _

_ Bazz rolled his eyes, “That’s how this works, Rivan--” _

_ “Bazz,” Rivan snapped suddenly, and Bazz started to realize just how scared Rivan was.  _

_ His best friend. The lady’s man who found out he was gonna be a father. The guy who, when the mother of his child offered him an out, he refused. The sap who regularly got caught reading to his unborn baby, was actually scared of fatherhood? _

_ “Rivan, you’re going to be fine,” Bazz felt himself smiling, relaxing even. Placing a hand on his best friend’s shoulder, he insisted, “This little girl is the luckiest kid to ever be born, you know that?” _

_ “Ha, very funny,” Rivan rubbed a hand over his belly, “Born of a single military father and a mother that didn’t even want her. Yeah, that’s a good way to start life--” _

_ “She’s the luckiest kid because she’s  _ your _ daughter,” Bazz insisted, “Single or not, you aren’t going anywhere without her. And the last time I checked, Gadd couldn’t wait to hold her.” _

_ Rivan jumped, staring intently at Bazz before his attention turned to Gaddison. Gadd, on the other hand, blushed and looked away. “You...hang on, you uh...wanted to be Dunma’s...mom?” _

_ “Well...I mean I know we’re not an item or anything but,” Gadd played nervously with her tail, “Kind of.” _

_ “See?” Bazz grinned, “You’ll be fine. We’re right here with you, man. She’ll be lucky to have you as her dad. I promise.” _

_ Rivan looked pensively up at Bazz with big, wet eyes, then with a nervous inhale, he placed his hands on his hips and shook his head, “Alright! Well, fuck, guess it’s time to go have a baby.” _

_ “That’s the spirit!” Bazz patted Rivan on the back. Rivan looked back to Bazz one last time, then looked over to Gaddison. As he took Gadd’s hand in his one more time, Bazz felt his heart squeeze a little when Rivan lifted her hand to his lips for a gentle kiss.  _

_ “Thanks guys,” Rivan smiled, maintaining solid eye contact with a now emotionally swooning Gaddison.  _

_ “Yeah, well, come on, Baby Daddy,” Gaddison shook her head, pushing Rivan into the delivery room. “Bazz, I’ll come get you when she’s here, alright?” _

_ “Yeah--sure, just take your time,” Bazz waved, “Well...once she’s here. Rivan. Don’t take your time on this one.” _

_ “Har har,” Rivan snarled. Darla merely snickered when she paused to look back to Bazz. _

_ “My son and granddaughter are lucky to have you, Bazz,” Darla beamed, “Thank you for being such a good friend.” _

_ “Y-yeah,” Bazz laughed nervously, his hand flying to the back of his tail, “Don’t mention it!”  _

_ Once Bazz was left alone, he found himself pacing again until Mipha stopped him. “You’re getting nervous again,” She smiled fondly, taking hold of his hand. It was strange, for someone so small, she was so good at stopping Bazz dead in his tracks.  _

_ “I...well,” Bazz swallowed a lump in his throat, feeling Rivan’s anxiety mirroring his own. Figuring it was pointless to try and piece out his swirling emotions, he glanced down to the way Mipha now had her hands intertwined in his. Her gentle claws caressed the palm of his hand and her crimson scales sparkled against his own black scales. He wondered if she knew how beautiful she was, sometimes.  _

_ Mipha’s golden eyes sparkled like a morning sun when she smiled. Looking back up to Bazz, she insisted, “You’ve got nothing to worry about, Bazz...isn’t that what you told Rivan?” _

_ “I...did…” Bazz flinched a little when he felt her hand caress his cheek. Did she have any idea what she was doing? Did she know how much of a turnon this was!?  _

_ “Bazz, I--” Mipha looked up pensively at Bazz, then flinched away. “It’s okay to not know what you want out of life, you know that, right?” _

_ “I do,” Bazz gulped.  _

_ “And I--I’ve spent too long wondering what I wanted,” Mipha glanced down, though she still held onto Bazz’s hands with an iron grip, even if she was trembling. “At least out of love. I thought I knew--I thought it was Link and, well, we all know how I’ve struggled to get over that one. But...what I’ve failed to realize in all this time was that--here, I’ve preached how all I wanted was for someone to see me as more than a Princess. To see me as Mipha. And...I didn’t realize how selfish I’d been.” _

_ “Mipha,” Bazz sighed, wondering how many friends he was going to give life advice to today. Gaddison mentioned once that he was the true Mom Friend of their group...was this what she meant? “It’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes. The heart wants what it wants--” _

_ “I know that!” Mipha blurted, squeezing Bazz’s hands tighter. “And--I want you to know that for yourself as well. Because I’m realizing that what I want...or rather who I want--I...oh, I’m embarrassed to say this but--” _

_ “Mipha, now you’re getting nervous,” Bazz rolled his eyes. “Just spill it.” _

_ Mipha paused, staring intently up at Bazz. For a moment, he thought she was gonna go back to her rambling. For a moment, he was fairly certain she would ramble for as long as it took the baby to get here. But then she stood up on her tiptoes. But then she cupped his face in her hands. And then...she swept Bazz clear off his feet.  _

_ Lips pressed gently to his, and suddenly Bazz melted. He almost couldn’t control his own body, for his mind went completely blank in that moment. He couldn’t control his racing heart, nor could he control his trembling arms when he wrapped them around her waist. He almost couldn’t control the undeniable urge to lift her into his arms and carry her all the way home, but he stopped himself just in time for the sound of wedding bells to chime inside his head. Bazz broke their kiss long enough to stare into her eyes. As he did, Bazz could suddenly see a new dream - an entire  _ future _ dance elegantly in the reflection of her golden irises.  _

_ A future full of heckling little Sidon. A future of babysitting little Dunma together. Training her if she wanted to follow in her father’s footsteps, or researching and fostering whatever interests she took as she grew. A future together, growing together, a future when Bazz looked at the family he suddenly dreamed of, perhaps a little boy with Mipha’s eyes and sweet demeanor. He wondered what sort of family he could possibly be cheating if he retired from the military to follow in Queen Nerissa’s footsteps, to help lead their people as Mipha’s right hand. As her...partner.  _

_ “B-Bazz?” Mipha asked nervously, “Say something.” _

_ “I--” Bazz blinked, reluctantly forcing himself out of his trance. “I love you, Mipha.” _

_ Mipha jumped a little at Bazz’s confession. Bazz jumped out of his scales at his confession.  _

_ What.  _

_ WHAT!?  _

_ “Oh fuck,” Bazz blurted, then his hand flew over his mouth before he could dig a deeper grave, “Oh sweet fucking Goddess Above, I’m so sorry I don’t know what got ahead of me or--” _

_ Mipha erupted into that deep, booming laughter she so rarely blessed his ears with. Even as her own hand flew over her mouth to try and stifle it, she kept giggling when she stooped forward, bumping her head into his chest, “Oh! Bazz! Let’s take our time with that one, shall we? We have our whole lives ahead of us!”  _

_ “Y-yeah,” Bazz blinked, feeling his own giggles bubbling up in him, “Funny, and you were the one who confessed her undying love to Link!” _

_ Mipha’s laughter stopped a little, “Bazz, that was a long time ago--” _

_ “And!” Bazz snickered, “You started making his armor before you confessed, didn’t you?” _

_ Mipha’s cheeks blushed brightly, “Bazz!”  _

_ “So really,” Bazz giggled, leaning in closer, “You’re just speaking from experience, here.” _

_ Mipha pouted up at him, and Bazz couldn’t help but finally grow a pair and ask her out, “You uh...wanna get dinner?" _

_ “Tonight?” Mipha jumped a little, “Like a date?” _

_ “Yeah, like a date,” Bazz flashed a grin, “And yes, tonight! You’re setting out with Princess Zelda, Link, and the other Champions tomorrow, aren’t you?” _

_ “I--I am,” Mipha looked down, frowned, then pointed out, “But don’t you want to meet Dunma?” _

_ “I--” Bazz grunted, then he remembered where he was suddenly. “Yeah...forgot that was happening for a second.” _

_ “You--Bazz, we’re in the hospital,” Mipha tilted her head. _

_ “I got excited.” _

_ “You literally just ushered Rivan into the delivery pools--” _

_ “I got excited!” Bazz’s hands flew up in the air. “I’m sorry!”  _

_ Mipha laughed again, and this time she didn’t try to stifle it, “Well, that’s fair. How about this: I’ll go in with you to meet Dunma when she gets here. You can escort me back home when you’re ready. And when I get home from my mission to the Spring of Wisdom...we can get dinner.” _

_ “Yeah?” Bazz felt his heart flutter wildly in his chest. “It’s a date?” _

_ Mipha beamed, stealing another kiss on his cheek, “It’s a date!”  _

Bazz almost lept out of his scales when Zelda’s tiny guardian scampered up to his feet. He also almost beat it to death on reflex before Nami stepped in to protect it with her little Rito friend flying closely behind her. 

“You can’t hurt it, Uncle Bazz!” Nami announced vehemently, “Terrako’s my friend!” 

“You--you named it!?” Bazz shrieked, almost climbing up his own trident in terror. 

“No, Zelda did,” Nami announced proudly. Tulin fluttered animatedly at her side about how “cool” and “epic” Terrako was and Bazz was certain he wanted to punt the damn guardian all the way to Ploymous Mountain but the kids were too cute for him to follow through on that urge. 

Hylia, seeing those two almost reminded Bazz of Sidon and Reba when they were little. 

Bazz felt a pang strike him in the chest, and he frowned. 

“Of course she did,” Bazz finally spat, side-stepping around the guardian to kneel down in front of Nami, “Lemme see those pearly whites, Kid.”

That distracted Nami enough to lower her guard and follow directions. Opening her mouth as wide as possible, Bazz peered up at the open spaces from the night before to make sure the new set was growing in okay. Sure enough, almost all of her teeth were already grown back in. At the very least, enough of them had grown back in that she could resume life as normal. Which...was still abnormally fast, but Madame Zaera had said once that Nami’s healing powers would accelerate her own body’s healing at an exponential rate. By the time she was an adult, Zaera predicted she’d be able to heal her wounds instantaneously. 

Poor Sidon would never know if or when Nami went Lynel hunting for sport. 

“Anything still hurt?” Bazz asked. Nami shook her head. “Well good,” Bazz smiled tiredly. 

“Can we go take Terrako to play now?” Nami asked pointedly.

“You...want to play with a guardian,” Bazz blinked.

“Yes,” Nami nodded her head. Behind her, Terrako beeped and scampered around in what almost looked like excitement. 

“The thing that’s killed countless of our people,” Bazz stared at the guardian slack-jawed. 

“Yes!” Nami rolled her eyes, “Also Terrako’s not one of those guardians, Uncle Bazz! Everyone knows that!” 

“Yeah!” Tulin fluttered excitedly, then took Nami’s hand to venture down to the courtyard.

“Oh I see,” Bazz muttered sarcastically to himself, “Everyone knows that, of course.”

If Nami heard his bitching, she paid no mind to him. No, the kids took the little guardian down to greet Tumbo and before he knew it, Bazz was watching the damn egg engage in a game of tag with the kids. 

...yeah, that tracked. 

Bazz watched the kids play for a little while, and for some reason seeing Nami giggling and squealing on the playground had his mind drifting. He hated to say it, but he found his mind drifting back to a time when Nami was the only one who would stand outside in that rainfall. Back then, she didn’t really giggle or even smile. She would just...sit there, waiting for her parents to come home. 

_ “She’s still out there?” Gaddison asked. Rivan sighed heavily and nodded his head.  _

_ “I can’t get her to come home with me,” he explained. “Not even Dunma’s persuaded her at this point...Bazz, I know you’re having a hard time with this but...you might be the only one who can talk to her.” _

_ “Yeah, I know,” Bazz looked down at the ground. It was so so hard to face that little girl. It really was.  _

_ He just wanted to see her smile again.  _

_ “Uncle Bazz?” Dunma asked, her voice sounding small. Hopeful even. Bazz looked up to her, and when she smiled at him he almost broke down into tears, “You--you know they’ll understand if you take her, right? I mean...it’s not like they’re here anymore and she needs someone.” _

_ “I--” Bazz felt a lump in the back of his throat, “I’m not cut out for fatherhood, Dunma.” _

_ “What?” Dunma gasped, “But why not?” _

_ “Dunma--” Rivan scolded, but Bazz waved him off.  _

_ “I just…” Bazz looked over to where Nami sat, holding onto her toy ball. If he let his mind wander too far, the only thing he could see was a little prince crying at the foot of the statue. His ears were still haunted by the prince’s startled screams when they found the Queen. When Sidon sprinted forward and tried to wake her-- _

_ “It’s like my moms said,” Bazz shook himself out of his trance, “I can’t burden a family by being a father at this point in my career. Not with what I’ve seen.” _

“Captain?” a new voice called, and Bazz nearly lept out of his trance. Why did his mind keep wandering to the past lately? When he turned, he found Muzu standing firmly behind him. 

“Oh! Sorry, Sir,” Bazz rubbed at his eyes before standing at attention, “How can I help you?”

Muzu stared contemplatively up at Bazz, then looked past him to where the children were still playing. “How are things between you and the Prince?”

“They’re...they’re fine, Sir,” Bazz answered, not sure why that was coming up now, of all times. 

“Are you positive?” Muzu eyed him skeptically, “There was….quite a spell when you two weren’t seeing eye to eye.”

“I am,” Bazz nodded, “That’s old history. Why do you ask?”

“Well, it seems we have a grumpy guppy and an imbecile on our hands,” Muzu shook his head, “I had hoped that….well, this is entirely selfish of me but sometimes you’re the only one who can bash the Prince’s and Link’s thick skulls together without repercussions. If you don’t think you can help without risking your friendship with them, I understand and--”

“No,” Bazz sighed heavily, “I was kind of waiting for Sidon to skewer Link alive after last night, anyway. I’ll come up and see who I need to restrain. If it’s Link, I’ll stop Sidon after two punches--”

“It’s not about last night, Captain,” Muzu frowned, “It’s about Reba….and the Calamity.”

Bazz felt a bell ring at the sound of Little Reba’s name. And he felt himself scowling as a slew of unwanted memories bubbled to the surface, “Oh fuck.”

* * *

_ Revali flew to his Divine Beast without a word, but when Link had Calamity Ganon pinned, he thought they would be okay. He thought he could apologize.  _

_ But then the moment of truth came. In that moment, when the world needed her most, Zelda’s powers just wouldn’t manifest.  _

_ “Zeldaaaa!” Link cried out, pinning Ganon to the ground with his sword, “Help!” _

_ “I--I’m trying!” Zelda cried out, running closer to them to try and cast the spell again. But nothing was happening.  _

_ “Oh no,” Impa gasped behind her, “Princess, this isn’t working.” _

_ “But it has to!”  _

_ “But it isn’t!” Impa cried, “Link, we have to retreat!” _

_ “But I’ve--” Link started, but beneath him the beast stirred. Oh.  _

_ “LINK!” Impa screamed, grabbing hold of Zelda’s wrist, “RETREEEAT!”  _

_ Link didn’t have to think twice to listen. Jumping off the beast, he ran from the castle. Catching up with Zelda and Impa, he found Zelda whimpering and fighting back against her own girlfriend to try and stop Ganon’s advance. “I can--I can do it!”  _

_ “Zelda, there isn’t enough time, we have to regroup--” Impa started, but an explosion knocked the three of them off their feet. Link wasn’t entirely sure what happened after that, but he did know that when he awoke, it was raining.  _

_ It was raining, and Zelda was sobbing.  _

_ When he sat up, he realized Impa was missing.  _

_ When he looked around, he saw Vah Ruta crash to the ground with an agonizing roar.  _

_ “Oh no--” Link gasped, the same poisonous fog that emitted from Ganon’s body starting to change the Divine Beasts coloration, “MIPHAAA!”  _

_ “We have to go get her!” Zelda sobbed, “The Champions--if we don’t do something, they’ll--” _

_ Zelda stopped, but Link knew exactly what she was going to say. They were going to die.  _

_ Revali was going to die.  _

_ Reba was going to lose her father all over again.  _

_ “We--if we can get to Vah Medoh, maybe Revali can pilot the Beast to the others,” Zelda offered. “If we save Revali first, he’s fast enough to help the rest!”  _

_ “We need a transport,” Link whimpered, but Zelda didn’t give him time to think. She just took him by the wrist and ran. He wasn’t sure how far or how fast they ran until they found Purah, who was frantically trying to get her Sheikah Slate to connect to the Towers. “PURAH! We need--” _

_ “The transports aren’t working!” Purah cried out, “I can’t--something’s wrong--not even the Divine Beasts and their Champions are responding!”  _

_ “But what about Revali?” Link begged, keeping an eye on Ruta. The Beast was largely dormant now, and he didn’t know what was happening in there. Was Mipha…? Did something kill Mipha? N-no...Mipha had healing magic. She wasn’t dead! Any wound that thing could inflict would heal! She’d be fine! She had to be fine!  _

_ Everyone...they had to be fine, right?  _

_ Purah frantically tried to adjust the settings on her Sheikah Slate, but as long as they were out in the open, Link found himself guarding both women against Guardians and other monsters, “We need cover!”  _

_ “I found him!” Purah gasped, and Link nearly fainted on sight, “He’s not responding to the transmitter but his Travel Gate is still functioning!” _

_ “Then take cover and get us there!” Link begged, “Get me there! Get me to my husband!” _

_ “I’m working on it!” Purah snarled back, “Hylia, you’re chatty!”  _

_ “My husband is  _ dying _ of course I’m chatty!” Link snarled. Purah said little else as they ducked into a cavern, for the next thing he knew she was hitting a button and Link was sent flying until he landed at the entrance of Medoh.  _

_ And it was dark. Silent.  _

_ Too silent.  _

_ “Revali?” Link gasped, treading carefully to the terminal. Revali wasn’t up top like he normally was, so Link ventured down the ramp until he heard a sudden explosion. “REVALI!” _

_ “LINK?!” Revali snapped as he flew into view. A huge,  _ monstrous _ creature came barreling after him in spite of the Bomb Arrows that were fired. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”  _

_ “Zelda couldn’t awaken it!” Link gasped, sprinting to Revali, “We have to go to Plan B!” _

_ “THERE WAS NO PLAN B!” Revali snapped, darting as quickly around the cavern as he could. Another explosion blew the both of them backwards, hitting the main terminal with enough force to knock the wind out of Link. “And we didn’t account for these... _ things _ to be hiding in the terminals either!”  _

_ “What is it!?” Link gasped, staring up at the floating...machine? Monster? What even was it? It certainly didn’t look like something that belonged in this world.  _

_ “I don’t know,” Revali coughed, standing up. As he did, he nearly fell over and Link noticed the large burns on his shoulder and legs. “But it’s likely all the Divine Beasts were hiding them. All of our comlinks went out at around the same time when Big Ugly appeared. We’re all doomed unless Zelda can seal away Ganon.” _

_ “But she can’t,” Link whimpered, “Revali, you’re hurt--we have to get out of here--” _

_ “I CAN’T!” Revali snapped, and Link froze.  _

_ “What?” Link shook his head, “The fuck you mean you can’t!? Reba’s down there--my mom--they’re waiting for us to come home!” _

_ “Yes, Link,” Revali spun to face him, “That’s precisely why I can’t leave!” _

_ “But--” _

_ “This monster is fighting me for control of Medoh!” Revali screamed, then pointed to the village below them, “Twice now, it’s knocked me unconscious and I’ve come to with it aiming the canons directly at Rito Village. If I bail now, we’re all doomed!”  _

_ “But that’s not--Revali, you’re hurt!” Link protested, drawing his sword. “Let me help--I knocked Ganon down earlier, this guy should be a piece of cake--” _

_ “No,” Revali turned his back on Link, “No, Link, you can’t face this demon.” _

_ Link felt his heart drop. As he looked at the wounds on his husband’s back, Link felt tears stinging in his eyes. There was something utterly hopeless about this situation. “Revali, you’ll die here.” _

_ “I know,” Revali’s voice caught in his throat. When the monster rushed towards them, Revali only survived the blast because Link stepped in front with his shield. Revali at least managed to fire off a set of bomb arrows to daze the thing, but it barely looked injured. Yet Link felt like shit and Revali looked even worse. “Link there’s not time,” Revali snapped, grabbing Link by the tunic and pulling him to the edge, “You have to get out of here!”  _

_ “NO!” Link fought back, trying to claw out of Revali’s iron grasp. Since when was Revali stronger than him? Since when was Link so paralyzed with fear? “Revali, I can help! You’ll die if you fight alone!” _

_ “And we’ll both die if we fight together!” Revali screamed back, tears falling from his eyes, “But--please, Link. Someone has to save Hyrule and I know damn well it was never gonna be me.” _

_ “Oh please, you pompous fuck, you always thought--” _

_ “I’M NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO BE CHAMPION, LINK!” Revali roared through his sobs, “I knew that! I knew I was a fake the moment the Princess asked me to but I--I don’t know what I was thinking! I just--I just wanted to protect you--protect Reba! So...for fuck’s sake Link, let me do that just this once!”  _

_ “N-no!” Link protested, “Revi, she--Reba needs you. I need you! I can’t--I can’t raise her! Not without you!” _

_ “Then please,” Revali pushed Link over the edge of the Divine Beast. Link screamed as he held tightly onto Revali’s arm, kicking his legs to try and swing back onto level ground. But alas, the only thing that held Link up was Revali’s grip on the collar of his shirt, “Be there for Reba. Just grow a pair of testicles and be the father I won’t get to be.” _

_ “REVALI, WAIT--” _

_ “I love you,” Revali whimpered. “I’m sorry.” _

_ “NO!” Link sobbed, but as Revali let go, Link was helpless. As he fell, hurdling at high speeds towards the ground, he almost didn’t deploy his paraglider. He almost didn’t want to live past that moment. He didn’t even know what spurred him to deploy it at the last second, but it was a miracle he didn’t shatter his leg when he hit the ground. As he laid there, crumpled, he didn’t want to acknowledge Zelda’s and Purah’s frantic cries asking for what happened. He didn’t even want to know what goddess-forsaken transport actually still worked, if none of the other Divine Beasts did.  _

_ “LINK!” Zelda cried out, sliding onto her knees to try and pull him up, “Link, what happened!? We saw you fall!” _

_ “He--” Link heaved a sob, looking up at where Vah Medoh was gaining that same sickly fog around its body. Revali was losing.  _

_ Revali was dying.  _

_ “Don’t…” Link whimpered up at the Beast, then suddenly he saw as Medoh took a sharp right turn in the sky, barrelling forward at an angle that would almost certainly end in a crash landing in an open field--away from civilization. “No, don’t leave me!”  _

_ Link took off in a sprint in the direction that Vah Medoh fell, practically hyperventilating as he thought he could stupidly stop his husband’s demise. As if he could save him.  _

_ What a fool...he couldn’t save anybody.  _

_ “No, don’t leave me behind!” Link sobbed, reaching out for Medoh as it crashed into the ground. The shockwave blowing him backwards was the only thing that sent him back to the two women following after him. Link struck his head on the ground, but he didn’t even register the blood pouring down his face as he cried out, “REVALIIIIIIIII!”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (In case anyone was wondering if the Revali moment last chapter was AoC timeline or SEPA timeline...hopefully this chapter gives you an answer)


	14. Foresight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the meeting of the world leaders begins, Riju learns a lot about the Zora. Meanwhile, in an alternate universe, the egg guardian Terrako tries to find some of Zelda's future friends to save the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the sad chapter last time. Please take Nami's unbridled chaos as compensation.

On the morning the Calamity was supposed to strike, Terrako watched Zelda’s three future friends pace anxiously around the halls of the castle. Terrako hadn’t expected Zelda’s three friends to help Terrako save Zelda, but Terrako was elated nonetheless! 

Terrako just wondered if Zelda had enough friends to stop the Calamity. 

Terrako wondered if Terrako could find more friends, actually…

The shortest of Zelda’s new friends let out a frustrated growl. Taking a swing of her trident, Junior slammed it into the houseplant by the door. She swung again, this time striking the door with full force, but Terrako didn’t know if that was an accident or not. Zelda’s Inventor friend, Purah, jumped a little while Zelda’s two other future friends let out aggravated sighs. 

“Hylia, Junior!” Purah scolded, “If you keep swinging that thing, you’ll break something!”

“Well, cool, this entire castle’s gonna come crashing down in about three hours anyway, so I might as well get a head start!” Junior snapped back. 

“Juniooooor,” Zelda’s future Sheikah friend, Ru, whined, “We’re here to stop the Calamity, aren’t we?”

“No, we’re here to find Ganny,” Junior snapped. 

“Well, to find Ganny, we have to kind of do something about the impending doom in this weird, alternate timeline that’s happening,” Ru placed her hands on her hips. 

“I agree,” Zelda’s future Rito friend, Reba, sighed. “Besides, I--we have a chance to save lives that were lost in our own timeline. This world could be changed for the better.”

“Has anyone else forgotten that to do that, we need Aunt Zelda’s fucking Magic Sealing Powers?” Junior snapped, baring her teeth a little. She reminded Terrako of an angrier, snarkier, sharkier version of Zelda’s Zora friend, Mipha. 

“Well--” both Ru and Reba lurched forward with matching glints in their eyes. And then they both deflated in tandem with a sigh. Ruffling her feathers a little bit, Reba stood up straighter, “We at least have to try. The guardian sent us to this timeline for a reason and I am certain that reason is to save your friend and change this world for the better!”

“So,” Purah blurted, deep in thought, “Considering that, according to your story, Ru and Junior passed through the Temple of Time by complete accident…...it sounds like you three ending up  _ here _ was just as much of a fluke--”

“Okay!” Reba flapped her wings a little in frustration. Wearing a pouty expression that made her feathers poof out,, she huffed, “But seeing as we stormed the malice-infested castle from  _ our _ timeline against my grandmother’s wishes, I have to at least make something out of this endeavor!” 

“Spoken like a true hero,” Junior grumbled under her breath.

“But I can see the sentiment,” Ru hummed.

“Of course you do!” Junior snapped back, “You two are like matching dunce caps! Fuck, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say Rho and Reba were  _ twins.” _

“Awww!” Ru whined defiantly, “Why can’t Reba and  _ I _ be twins? We’re the matching dunce caps!” 

“You have enough siblings!” Junior bitched back.

“So do you!”

“Yeah, and I called dibs on Reba already, so fuck off!” Junior snarled back. Terrako watched as the two locked eyes in some sort of fake battle of wills. Terrako didn’t know why Junior and Ru always got so hostile with each other. They seemed more like sisters than they did with their actual siblings from what Terrako knew. Observing the trio, Purah hummed a little in confusion. 

“So whose Rho?” Purah asked.

“My brother,” Junior slammed her face into the wall.

“My dad,” Ru slumped forward a little. She sounded a little bit sick to her stomach. “I--sorry, I just remembered how dead I am when I finally get home.”

“If we can get home,” Junior grumbled. 

“Oh dear,” Reba’s feathers ruffled slightly, “If  _ your _ father will be angry, I don’t want to even think about how Grandma will react.”

“Oh come  _ on,” _ Junior bitched, “Reba, you live to be so old that you’re obsessed with quilting and die-cutting, you're not gonna die.”

“But how do you know!?” Reba squeaked in a panic. Junior responded by turning her head. Then she stared at Reba until Reba’s eyes flickered with recognition and she looked down, “Oh right.”

“Cool, Reba’s alive and I’m fucking  _ dead,” _ Ru grimaced. 

“You’re a fucking adult--”

“HE TOLD ME NOT TO GO IN THERE, JUNIOR!” Ru erupted suddenly, her bright blue eyes getting a half-crazed look in them. One of the curls in her neatly braided hair sprung loose to emphasize her diminishing sanity. “He told me not to go in there and I couldn’t not go in there! And now we’re in a fucking hellscape-to-be with an interdimensional  _ egg!” _

Terrako beeped a little bit at the mention of Terrako’s spritely egg shape, but before Terrako could beep more, the large doors to the throne room swung open. Zelda stepped out, still in her royal dress, looking a little sad. Terrako didn’t like when Zelda was sad. So Terrako scampered up to her feet, beeping merrily to try and distract her. Zelda smiled in acknowledgement, but her smile still seemed so sad. 

Terrako didn’t like when Zelda was sad. 

“Purah,” King Rhoam addressed, and Terrako watched as all four women jumped to attention, “When do you plan to depart for the Tech Lab?”

“I’m just about to leave, Your Highness,” Purah bowed. “I had to ask our three time travelers a few things before I left, though.” 

“Hmm,” the king hummed, then turned his attention to the attentive, yet squirming women lined up on the other side of the door. “And I trust you three were cooperative?”

“Yessir,” Ru answered respectfully, her gaze focused forward. 

Junior, on the other hand, looked King Rhoam dead in the eye and snarled, “Why the fuck wouldn’t we be?”

_ “Junior,” _ Ru hissed, though Reba seemed rather unbothered by the outburst. 

“What?” Junior shrugged, “I’m a princess.”

Ru gave Junior a pointed glance and Terrako noticed Zelda stiffen when the King’s top general huffed, “You would be wise to speak more respectfully to our  _ king, _ Time Traveler.”

“Eh,” Junior shrugged, ignoring the general to address the king directly, “Sorry, Rhoamy-Boy, but you’re not my king.”

The general’s nostrils flared slightly in discontent. With a hiss, he stated, “Regardless of when you hail from, he is still the King of Hyrule--”

“Zorana’s not Hyrule,” Reba spoke suddenly, her voice even and her gaze to the floor. The general, who was not Zelda’s friend, widened his eyes a little and scoffed. 

“I beg your pardon, Rito?”

“In her time,” Reba spoke louder, “Zorana is not part of Hyrule and her people answer to the Zora King, no one else. No more contradictions. Her king is a fair king and he is far braver than you will  _ ever _ be. So you would be wise to speak more respectfully to my sister. She’s a princess, after all!”

“Why, you--” the general started, but King Rhoam hushed him.

“Geoff, we do not have time for this,” Rhoam shook his head, “If these interlopers are still defiant after the day is won, I will deal with them then.”

Geoff glared at Zelda’s three future friends, and if Zelda wasn’t keeping a firm hand atop Terrako’s top, Terrako would’ve gone up to Geoff and given him a piece of Terrako’s mind! Terrako didn’t like Geoff, not one bit! Not only did he make Zelda stressed, but he made Zelda’s friend, Link, very very sad. 

Terrako didn’t like when Zelda’s friends were sad. 

With a sigh, Geoff gave in, “Understood, Sir.” 

The two older men marched away, and the minute they were out of earshot, both Ru and Junior eyed Reba with wide gazes. “Wooooow,” Junior whistled, “Color me impressed!” 

“Yeah, you really pissed him off,” Ru’s blue eyes sparkled with delight, “What brought that on?”

“I just--” Reba’s expression grew suddenly very dark as she turned to stare down the hallway where Geoff and the King disappeared to, “I really don’t like the general.”

“Why’s that?” Junior asked curiously. Reba actually did look kind of angry when she contemplated her answer. 

“He--” Reba started, the heat in her eyes dissipating suddenly, “He’s just a bad man and a worse father.”

* * *

Faro stood over the egg guardian with a bewildered expression. Blinking several times, he finally looked up at the princess and her Rito friend, “So what is it?”

“It’s Terrako!” Princess Minami cheered, throwing her hands up in delight. Faro squinted a little. That...that didn’t answer his question. 

“Yes but…” Faro couldn’t shake the eerie feeling the guardian gave him, “What is it?”

“Terrako!” Minami answered again. Behind her, her little Rito friend nodded emphatically. 

“Then why…” Faro crouched down a little, trying to place the sensation that was just so... _ off _ about the guardian. 

Normally, Faro could look at just about anyone or anything and see their immediate future. He knew what their next steps would be. For example, he knew that the minute the little Princess spun around, she’d trip over herself and faceplant into Riju’s legs--

“Oof!” Minami grunted as Riju caught her. Teetering back a little, she giggled, “Sorry, Rijuuu!”

“It’s alright,” Riju grinned, “Just try to be careful!”

“Kaaaay,” Minami giggled. Beside her, her little Rito friend fluttered about.

“Prince Sidon said Nami’s hitting a growth spurt so she’s getting all clumsy,” he grinned. 

“That’s not what he said, Tulin!” Nami snarled back. “He just said I was getting tall!”

“Yeah, and it’s making you clumsy,” Tulin giggled back. Minami pouted back up at him and as cute as she was, Faro really did not know how to engage in conversation with these kids. Nor did he really know what the hell this guardian was. 

“I just,” Faro stared at it. The guardian beeped suddenly in response to him, its sentience was even more alarming, “I can’t see it.”

“What do you mean you can’t see it, Mr. Faro?” Tulin spun around, “Terrako’s right there!” 

“I know and I can see what’s in front of me,” Faro shook his head, “I just can’t see what’s...Riju, I can’t see what’s beyond it.”

“What?” Riju stood up a little straighter and he tried to avoid the alarm in her eyes. “What do you mean you can’t see what’s beyond?”

“Well, technically I’m right behind it!” Minami announced. 

“Oh--” Faro grunted, not sure how to phrase anything to young children. Heroines, she was quite adorable, though. “I just mean--well, have you ever heard of the Three Prophets?”

“Faro,” Riju hushed him. 

“Oh come now,” Faro rolled his eyes, “She’s a child.”

“And I’m good at keeping secrets,” Nami grinned, her tail wagging slightly. 

“I’m not but I can plug my ears,” Tulin cheered.

“It’s not really a secret though,” Faro shrugged, and Riju punched him firmly in the shoulder, “Ow!”

“Not a secret--Faro, you know how Hyrule’s been snooping--”

“Now  _ that _ is a secret,” Faro whispered back to her. Riju huffed a little and crossed her arms. And Faro turned his attention back to the adorable little ones he wanted to win over. “So  _ anyways, _ have you heard of the Three Prophets?”

“Nope,” Nami shook her head.

“Not even once!” Tulin echoed. 

“Well,” Faro leaned in a little closer, holding back a squeal when the little ones scooted in closer to him. “Before there was the Triforce, there were the Prophets. Back when the Gerudo, Sheikah, and Twili were all one...the three branches of our Tribe each held a Prophet. Someone who could see into the future and predict the Blessings to come.”

“Are you one of those prophets, Mr. Faro?” Tulin gasped in amazement. 

“Something like that,” Faro winked.

“You can see the future?” Nami gasped, her tail wagging. “Can you see mine?!”

“A little bit,” Faro explained, “I can see everyone’s...at least a few minutes from now. It gets hard to focus so I normally tune it out.”

“But how  _ far _ can you see?” Nami asked, standing on her tiptoes. 

“If I do a full read, I can see as far as your lifespan,” Faro grinned, “Depending on what you wanna know.”

“Are you  _ sure _ you want to do a reading on a child?” Riju shook her head. 

“She likes me!” Faro whined back.

“I do!” Nami nodded emphatically, “Do a reading on me! Do one on me! Pleeeease?”

“Oh--well, alright,” Faro gave in, admittedly too quickly. “Hold still.”

Nami did exactly as she was instructed and even closed her eyes, allowing Faro to gently hold her shoulders and press his forehead to hers. As he did, he started to wonder if this was  _ actually _ a good idea. He’d heard the Princess had been orphaned once before….what if he saw something bad? Ohhhh, he hoped he didn’t see anything bad--

Before he could backtrack, Faro did catch a glimpse of her distant future. As he did, he found the Princess in Gerudo town. 

_ Princess Minami, a grown woman, rushed swiftly down the streets of the Outer City. She was hopelessly lost, wiping tears out of her eyes when she crashed into another young Zora. More specifically, the other Zora seemed to spot her and attempted to catch her attention, but she bumped right into them and fell square on her ass.  _

_ “Owwww,” Nami groaned, sitting back up. Her gaze shifted to alarm when she saw the flash of orange trying to regain their bearings as well. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry about that!”  _

_ “Oh goodness,  _ I’m _ sorry, Miss! I wasn’t paying attention!” the other Zora cried out, sitting up on their knees to hover over the Princess. Faro felt himself jump a little as he watched the Zora Vai helping Minami to her feet. He recognized them.  _

_ Nikko, the little Vai who lived by his cousin’s shop. The one who always took care of their mother was helping Minami to her feet. Seeing them grown and standing next to Nami, Faro couldn’t help but notice how much Nikko...resembled Prince Sidon. Faro followed the two in the vision a little further, and as his curiosity got the better of him he accidentally fell further into the vision instead of pulling out of it.  _

_ So...there Faro was, accidentally diving deeper than he meant to until his foresight led him back to the Domain. And he found Princess Minami older, possibly a little wiser. Faro took back the second thought when he saw what she was hovering over in the room while another - very strange looking - Zora watched her.  _

_ “Nami,” the strange Zora crossed his arms, “What the  _ hell _ are you doing?” _

_ “It’s Nikko’s birthday!” Nami announced gruffly, sorting out jars of wax on the floor. Faro looked from Nami to the oddball Zora and back and couldn’t help but notice how Nami’s tone was completely even while the other Zora - was this her husband? - contorted in both posture and expression.  _

_ “I thought you said they hate candles--” _

_ “They do!” Nami flashed a grin, her tail immediately wagging, “It’s a fire hazard in the desert.” _

_ “So why--” _

_ “Tipf, this is their fiftieth birthday,” Nami declared, “I need to know what kind of power fifty three-whick candles can hold.” _

_ “I--” Tipf blinked several times, looked behind him for help that wasn’t there, then turned back to Nami in disbelief, “Don’t you think this is going a little far? I mean, they’re due to have another baby in like a month--” _

_ “THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT MORE POWERFUL, TIPF!” Nami roared, cackling in delight. Faro jumped a little at the energy she had generated from her love of chaos. Before Faro could question it any further, a flash of lavender scales darted into the room, revealing another Zora with Nami’s smile.  _

_ “Mom! Junior has a really good idea!” the girl announced, Nami almost immediately launched up to her feet.  _

_ “Show me the way, Munchkin!” Nami cheered.  _

_ “Rheese, wait--” _

_ “But  _ Dad!” _ Rheese protested, the chaotic glint in her eye appearing, “It’s Ko-Ko’s birthday!”  _

_ “Hylia help me--if you or Mom wake your brother up, you're both grounded!” Tipf groaned to himself, and as he chased the two ladies out of the room, Faro pulled himself out of the vision before he could fall down any more rabbit holes _

“Goddess Above!” Faro gasped, shaking himself out of his trance. When he looked back down at Nami, he felt like he knew her a lot better. 

He also had about seven fears of her...ability to just fall unhinged in the best way possible. “What did you see, Mr. Faro?” Nami bounced excitedly, “Anything juicy?”

“I--” Faro blinked down at her. “I see why you’re usually the ring-leader.”

“Do I get more dads?” Nami spat out excitedly. Faro’s mind fell blank again. 

“Pardon?”

“More dads,” Nami pressed her hands on his shoulders, her expression as hauntingly serious as it was when her elder counterpart was counting out  _ fifty jars _ of  _ candles. _ “Mr. Faro, this is of utmost importance. I  _ need _ to know if I acquire an army of dads.”

Faro stared down blankly at her. Not sure what to say. As he heard Riju whisper to him to stop, he couldn’t help but shrug, “One moment,” and dive right back into another vision of her future. 

_ “DAD!” an adult Nami powerslid into a very large kitchen, causing Prince Sidon to spit out the water Master Link had handed him. Prince Sidon - no, he was wearing a different colored sash. He must’ve been King at this point - turned to Minami with a tired glare.  _

_ “For heaven’s sake, Nami,” King Sidon frowned, “What is it?” _

_ “Is it true?” Nami bounced on her heels as a trio of young Hylians appeared behind her. Well, two Hylians and a Sheikah girl. And actually...the tallest of the Hylian boys looked rather...well he looked a little too tall to be  _ just _ a Hylian.  _

_ “Is what true?” King Sidon crossed his arms.  _

_ “Dad, don’t be skimping on us,” the taller one wore a matching grin on his face. “Spill it.” _

_ King Sidon kept a pensive, tight-lipped expression. He glanced down to Master Link for help but Link - whose long hair had started to gain a silver sparkle to it - merely chuckled mischievously and kept his mouth closed. When Link  _ continued _ to say nothing, Sidon snarked, “Link, help me.” _

_ “This one’s on you,” Link snickered.  _

_ “You’re an accomplice!” Sidon stomped his foot like a child in frustration, but that only prompted Nami to skid forward and nearly tackle her fathers to the ground.  _

_ “DAD!” Nami snapped again, clapping her hands on Sidon’s shoulders, “I need to know!”  _

_ “Well, you will  _ know _ when I can speak with Zaera this afternoon--” _

_ “But  _ I _ need to know!” Nami’s tail was wiggling as she bounced.  _

_ “You will know--” _

_ “DID YOU AND POPS DO THE DO?!” Nami shrieked excitedly. _

_ “REGULARLY!” Sidon cried back, looking absolutely panicked.  _

_ “But did you do the do,” Nami bobbed her head, “Did you do the do with Vali?” _

_ “Minami--” _

_ “HAS THE ARMY OF DADS GROWN?!” Nami yelled to the heavens, “HAVE WE ACHIEVED A ONE:ONE RATION OF DADS!?” _

_ “YOU HAVE HAD A ONE:ONE RATIO OF DADS!” Sidon cried back, “WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS!” _

_ “THIS IS A ROMANTIC ADDITION!” Nami yelled back, and Faro noticed the way Link and the younger trio were howling with laughter. It seemed no one had any intention of backing Sidon up before Faro pulled out of the vision.  _

  
  


“Well?!” Nami asked expectantly when Faro gasped again. As Faro stared up at the sky, he sort of felt like he was going to shit himself. 

Holy hell, the Zora Prince was as much of a Vai as the Vaiest Vai to ever Vai. He was a gayer vai than Faro was and Faro was gay  _ and _ trans. How did-- _ when _ did the Zora get cool!? 

“I’ve never seen so many dads,” Faro gasped to the heavens. He hadn’t even seen the dads in question. He just knew, deep in his soul, that they were there. If he had foresight to go with his future vision, Faro might’ve kept that comment to himself. 

The squeal that erupted from the Princess was absolutely terrifying. When Nami’s fists shot up into the air, she yelled, “THE SYNDICATE GROOOOWWWS!” 

“I don’t know what that means!” Tulin fluttered excitedly, and before Faro could ask why in the  _ hell _ she was referring to...whatever this arrangement was as a syndicate, she and Tulin took off running and cheering across the Domain. Even the guardian beeped merrily along with them, scampering quickly to follow the children. Faro grunted out a strangled noise, not sure what to make of what happened. 

Instead, Riju shook her head, “What the hell have you done?”

“I might’ve created a monster,” Faro felt his jaw fall slack, “I--I should be ejected from the Domain for this.”

“Faro--”

“I’ll never get top surgery.”

_ “Faro,” _ Riju said more sternly, “She’s a child, what’s the worst she could do with that information?”

Faro stared up at his friend. His best, dearest friend in the whole world. And he didn’t know how to tell her that the Zora Princess was more of a  _ heathen _ than she was. “Have you ever seen a three-whick candle, Riju?”

“You mean those fire hazards at the pop-up store in Kara Kara?” Riju grunted, holding her hands out to make some sort of imaginary jar in them, “In the jars?”

“Yes,” Faro nodded his head, “Have you ever seen a grown woman count out  _ fifty  _ of them in her closet?”

Riju’s expression drew a sudden blank. Relaxing a bit, Riju turned back to where Nami and Tulin were skipping down the market and talking to a new pair of adults. Turning back to Faro, she stuttered, “How--how did she--why did she have fifty candles?”

“I don’t  _ fucking know, _ Riju, it was something about Nikko’s birthday,” Faro scowled a little too loudly. At least Riju thought it was loud, because the next thing he knew, she was covering his mouth. 

“For the love of Rulenya, Faro!” Riju hissed, “Can you keep your fat mouth shut once in a while? You’re worse than Asuti!” 

“No one is worse than Asuti, you useless lesbian,” Faro rolled his eyes, noting the way Riju so much as  _ blushed _ at his cousin’s name. Well...she was less his cousin and more a family friend, but in his family that meant the same thing. “But why can’t I talk about my neighbor? I mean, it’s not like anyone here knows them--”

“Faro,” Riju said sternly, “We don’t know that.”

“Okay?” Faro raised an eyebrow. “So what if somebody does?”

“I--” Riju looked down, her expression falling suddenly. He didn’t even need her to tell him with that expression, he knew how much it hurt her when the Council went over her head on things. “Something’s happened and...the High Priestesses just want to keep a close eye on things for now, okay?”

Faro had  _ several _ points he wanted to argue, including the visions he saw of the grown Zora chatting merrily with Princess Minami. But he knew it would just make Riju feel more guilty about the situation, so he kept his argument to himself. 

* * *

Prince Sidon was a little more... _ reserved _ when he entered the large meeting room with his father. Riju fought to hold in her gasp when she saw how...large King Dorephan was. Suddenly, she realized that her advisors weren’t joking when they mentioned the King had a “larger than life” personality. In fact, Riju was so infatuated by how massive the man was that she almost missed how puffy Link’s eyes were when he trailed in with Princess Zelda. 

“Oh, sitting with Hyrule today, Link?” Riju joked with him as he took his position behind the princess. Link turned to nod in her direction, but one look at his fixed stare and blotchy cheeks caused her to jump a little. 

...had he been crying? 

Riju frowned a little, then turned behind her to where Buliara was standing. She opened her mouth to whisper something in her guard’s direction, but Buliara gave a subtle shake of her head. So Riju kept her questions to herself. Instead, she looked across the table to where Prince Sidon was taking his seat. A black-scaled Zora captain stood behind him at the table, and both men looked exhausted. The captain had noticeable bags under his eyes that honestly just seemed like a personality trait to Riju. But Prince Sidon...he was always so jovial, but the dark shadows under his bloodshot eyes made him look blatantly intimidating. In fact, as Riju scanned his line of sight, she noticed a tense, wire thread that seemed strung between him and Link. One glance across the table between the two men, and that wire tightened, making the room feel heavier. Riju felt her frown deepen.

Did those two get into a fight? 

“Well!” King Dorephan diffused the tension with a simple clap of his hand, “I must say, this is quite exciting. I have not seen a meeting such as this since before the Calamity!” 

“This is quite the feat!” the Rito leader, Master Kaneli nodded. “I must admit that I don’t even remember the last time there was a mass gathering, Your Highness.”

“The last gathering, from what I recall, was in Hyrule’s capitol when my father appointed the Champions,” Princess Zelda nodded. “It’s been over one hundred years.”

“A momentous occasion,” King Dorephan smiled, “And I am blessed to see so many new, young faces amongst our world leaders in a time of prosperity. But given the lapse since such a meeting, I do believe we have a lot of ground to cover to repair what was lost. Am I correct, Princess Zelda?”

“Indeed,” Zelda nodded her head as she rose to her feet, “If I may, King Dorephan, I would like to address our first order of business in uniting our peoples.”

“Be my guest,” King Dorephan gestured, and Riju watched as Zelda rose to her feet. Riju had yet to really sit down and talk with Zelda or get to know her. He didn’t know what to really make of the Hylian Princess. “I take it this will be about your coronation?”

“In...a way,” Zelda tipped her head to the side, her face flushing. There was a sudden rumbling in the room. Riju noticed the very subtle frowns coming from the Zora. 

“Princess Zelda,” Prince Sidon spoke, “This... _ is _ about your coronation, correct?”

“In a way,” Zelda nodded again, “But I have a proposal for you all--”

_ “Zelda,” _ Prince Sidon leaned forward, his formalities dropping suddenly, “I don’t mean to be rude but the Domain is still recovering from a Yiga attack that occurred well over a year ago. It’s been close to four years since Link defeated Ganon and you still haven’t been coronated. Hyrule is in a militant state until you are and Zorana is still dependent on Hyrule’s funding! We put in a request for aid when the attack happened and--”

“I know!” Princess Zelda blurted, her eyes squeezing shut and Riju had to admit that she knew what the Hylian was feeling. She knew the nerves of older cabinet members grilling her for the wrong action, inaction, or the right action that the elders didn’t agree with. For a moment, Riju felt her blood boil a little on Zelda’s behalf. 

“Prince Sidon,” King Dorephan said calmly, and in spite of the heated glare that was thrown his direction, the king had a way of diffusing any and all tension, “Hyrule has been as much disarray, if not more. We all know there is good reason that Zelda hasn’t been able to take the throne as Queen until now. Please, Princess, proceed.”

“Well,” Zelda sucked in a breath, “I’m actually glad you bring that up, Prince Sidon. Because I would like to propose a strategy to declare independence from Hyrule.”

Riju sat up suddenly, but she watched as King Dorephan’s mouth fell open, losing composure. He was so quiet - the entire room was so quiet - that one could hear a pin drop. Zelda looked expectantly up at the Zora, but when she received no response, she looked back down at the documents in hand and continued, “With me today, I brought a copy of the Zorana Clauses that were signed back into Law four years ago upon Ganon’s defeat. I...I renewed the Clauses in order to give you all much needed financial aid to recover from Vah Ruta’s siege. To help the Rito recover from Vah Medoh as well. But...I’m realizing that in my youth, I trusted my advisors and failed to read the fine print.”

“Princess, I can assure you that I am intimately familiar with the Zorana Clauses,” King Dorephan sat back in his chair, and Riju wondered why he had such a nervous glint in his eyes. “I knew what you were signing back into law when you announced it.”

“But these Clauses are not fair, King Dorephan!” Zelda pleaded, “Your people--the Zora live three times as long as any Hylian, you have potential to be one of the most advanced societies in the world, and yet you are shackled by norms and customs and unbelievable tax laws of Hyrule! The rules you have to abide by--”

“The rules we have abided by are the curse of my ancestors' ignorance,” King Dorephan shook his head, “I am well aware of the stakes at hand. But Princess Zelda, I can say with the utmost confidence that we are in no shape to exercise our rights within those Clauses. The financial requirements to declare independence just are not there, especially after the attacks we suffered last year.”

“But King Dorephan--”

“I applaud your gumption, Princess,” King Dorephan shook his head, “But I cannot entertain that thought. I would much rather support you as a new Queen, anyway.”

King Dorephan’s words seemed almost final, especially as Zelda threw her head down. She tossed the large booklet onto the table as well. Riju half-expected her to take it, to sit down and begin discussing her ceremony. Instead, Zelda lit a fire underneath everyone at the table and subsequently became Riju’s new favorite person: “And what if I do not become Queen?”

“What!?” Teba roared behind Chief Kaneli. The Rito Chief held a wing up to keep Teba from advancing further. “Do you have any idea how  _ screwed _ we are if you’re not!?” 

“Teba!” Kaneli hissed. 

“No, no, I agree with Teba,” Prince Sidon snarled suddenly, his gaze heating up in a way that just...Riju would eventually grow to trust Sidon with her life, but in that moment she learned how dangerous the stubborn heat of a Zora could be. “Zelda, you  _ have _ to become Queen.”

“Not in my vision of Hyrule!” Zelda protested. “I--a monarchy is such an outdated system! Why, look at the Rito: they’ve already transitioned to a democracy in appointing their chief. My father established the senate as one of his early acts as King in order to pass local laws on more equal platforms. He was a man of many faults but he wanted to give our people a voice. But that voice can only go so far with a monarch blocking or maintaining the final say! So...I would like to move to dissolve the Hyrule monarchy and replace my position with a new appointment.”

“You would--Zelda, that’s  _ insane!” _ Sidon lurched forward. “We can’t afford to dissolve the monarchy!” 

“And why not?” Riju finally spoke up, almost silencing the room with her single question. “What is so wrong with giving your people a  _ voice, _ Prince Sidon?”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Prince Sidon bit back.

“Then what are you saying?” Riju snapped, and in the heat of the moment she forgot to bite her tongue: “What, are you too scared of what’ll happen to you when you can’t be a king anymore?”

“Young  _ Lady!” _ Sidon snapped suddenly, and when he rose to his feet, Riju felt herself flinching back. “You have  _ no idea _ what you are speaking of!”

“And how is that?” Riju snapped. She hated the way he made her voice shake. She hated the way he stood over her like she was nothing but a child. She may have been young, but she was still the chief of her people! “I’m the leader of my people, same as you. In fact, I’m more than that because my people know what it’s like to taste independence. So why is it so hard for the Zora to declare their own--?”

“Riju!” Buliara scolded from behind, and Riju hated the way she flinched as if the woman were her own mother. Instead of facing Buliara, Riju kept her gaze on the way both Sidon’s and King Dorephan’s expressions darkened. Beside her, she felt Zelda tremble slightly. 

As Dorephan put a hand on Sidon, Riju watched as the Prince’s anger diffused slightly. But only slightly. As he shook his head, Prince Sidon sat back in his chair and said, “For what it’s worth,  _ Chief, _ I would gladly give up my post sooner than just about anyone in this room. Especially if that were what’s best for my people. But the fact of the matter is that this form of democracy Zelda speaks of only works if we take our  _ time. _ And it is with  _ time _ that we have begun such a transition within our borders and the formation of our own governing councils. So before you start throwing  _ temper tantrums _ and pointing fingers, I suggest you double check who you are speaking to and whose government you are speaking about! Is that clear?”

Riju stared at the Prince with wide eyes, and frankly she felt a little blindsided and attacked by his counter, “I didn’t mean to offend--”

“Is that  _ clear!?” _ Prince Sidon said again, and Riju felt her heart still in her chest. Was he...was he seriously talking to her like a parent?

“I’m not a child, Prince Sidon,” Riju said in a low voice. Prince Sidon, however, made a gruff noise and tilted his head as if he didn’t believe her. Riju honestly, truthfully, had no idea what to say or do. 

That is, she had no idea until Link groaned behind Princess Zelda, “Sidon, come  _ on.” _

“And how can I help you, Link?” Sidon snapped suddenly. Beside him, both the captain and the King let out a series of groans. 

“The Gerudo have some pretty good insights as an Independent State,” Link pointed out, “She means well--”

“Oh, so you’re speaking for Zorana now?” Sidon snapped back.

“This is getting out of hand!” King Dorephan finally interjected, “No one is declaring independence, no one is reshaping their entire government. For heaven’s sake, this is our first meeting as world representatives, we can’t solve all the world's problems in a day!”

“But--” Princess Zelda lurched forward, but a very stern glance from King Dorephan silenced her. 

“As Hyrule’s heir, you have the final say in when or if you are coronated,” King Dorephan tipped his head towards her, “But I need you to understand what the implications of you backing out mean for the rest of us. I cannot speak for the others, but I can say that it would mean catastrophe for the Zora.”

“I--I’m aware there’s a risk,” Zelda started tapping the table anxiously, “But my mother once said that any risk which is worth taking is worth taking--”

“Well, this is just not a risk I am willing to take at this point in time,” King Dorephan snapped suddenly, “I’m sorry. I hope you will come to understand one day.”

Zelda looked up at Dorephan with wide eyes, and as Riju watched the tears starting to bud she learned two things that day:

The first: the Zora were as stubborn as they were old. They had seen so much more of the world than anyone else had. They knew so much more and their wisdom would be unparalleled in the years to come. 

The second: Sidon’s stubbornness was the worst of all and his age just made him seem like an old codger when he dug his heels in. Even if it meant getting in his face, she never wanted him to look at her like a helpless child ever again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so we might get some Sad Sidon next chapter but THEN AoC timeline kicks in.


	15. It's Just a Jump to the Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Sidon laments for lives lost, the Horned God and Terrako present an opportunity he can't refuse. Faro faces a startling encounter with the Sheikah's prophet, Astor. The Champions start the Time Warp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really just wanted to make a Time Warp joke for this chapter title....
> 
> ALSO! I forgot to mention--if last chapter was super confusing it was because I was bouncing back between normal timeline and AoC timeline. I mean. Hopefully you guys know that Ru and Junior (the two I introduced with Reba last chapter) are in the AOC timeline. Back when I said I'd probably take a lot of creative liberties within the plot of the game for this story...this is kind of what I mean. 
> 
> BUT ANYWAY! I remembered I needed to announce something important, but I am once again stressing about all the lesson planning I did not do this weekend. So enjoy the double update! I have yet to decide whether I'll update this story or FGA next weekend.

Father couldn’t call for a recess soon enough. When he did, Sidon felt like he had eyes targeting his back. Scowling, Sidon found the one person who had angered the delegations more than he had at this point. 

“Zelda,” Sidon greeted, trying to keep an even tone. Zelda kept her back to him, eyes staring intently out into the Domain. 

“If you’re here to yell at me, I don’t want to hear it,” Zelda bit back. 

“I--” Sidon started, but then sucked in a breath, “I wasn’t here for that.”

“Then what do you want?” Zelda snapped at him.

“Well, considering that we’ve both pissed everyone off,” Sidon took a chance to lean up against the railing beside her, “I figured you’d want some company.”

Zelda scoffed a little, shaking her head. When she said nothing in response, Sidon chose to just sit in the silence, though he couldn’t help but feel his heart falling. He had to know: “Why do you want to abolish the monarchy?”

“Sidon, I--I told you!” Zelda immediately started fidgeting, fiddling with her jewelry, “Our system is corrupt, it’s harming the Zora, the Rito--everyone! I have to--”

“Zelda,” Sidon shook his head, feeling his eyes stinging with a familiar grief, “What are you hiding from?”

At that, Zelda shot her gaze up in his direction. In spite of her heated glare, Sidon knew that look. He felt like he was looking into a mirror through her eyes. 

Feeling the frown pull at the corner of his lips, Sidon looked down, “Does this have to do with Naboo?”

“What?!” Zelda gasped, though the tears budding in the corners of her eyes told him everything he needed to know. Maintaining eye contact, Sidon kept his voice low, “I didn’t--I can’t be in a relationship if I’m the Queen, Sidon…”

“Maybe not when your father was King, but--”

“Hyrule is a militant state,” Zelda interrupted, her voice shaking. “You said so yourself. And the people trust what’s left of the military - they trust the Senators over me. These are men who have been elected and reelected from my father’s regime. They would have me stripped of my crown and my titles if they found out about her!” 

“Zelda--” Sidon ran his hand over his face as he rocked his head back a little. He wanted to tell her she was overthinking things. He wanted to tell her that it would be fine so long as she won her people over. But honestly...that wasn’t fair to Zelda. Biting his lip, Sidon put a hand on her shoulder, “Did you break up with her?”

“No,” Zelda said with a thick voice, “She...uh...she broke up with me. Actually.”

“Oh,” Sidon glanced down to her. “Zelda, I am so sorry--”

“I’m not meant to find love, Sidon,” Zelda wiped at her eyes, “Not since I lost--I just don’t deserve a second chance!” 

Sidon wished he had the right words to say, the right words to help her. For some reason, Sidon found himself at a loss. If anything, her anguish just threw him back to a darker time in his life. One he had buried in the recesses of his mind. 

_ “MOOOOM!” Dunma screamed out, causing Sidon to jump. He watched, frozen in horror as the medics tended to Gaddison’s now unconscious body in the pouring rain. Dunma broke ranks, sobbing as she sprinted towards Gaddison’s stretcher. “WHAT HAPPENED?!”  _

_ “Dunma, stop!” Rivan called back, all but tackling her in an embrace to hold her back. “Please! Let the medics do their jobs!”  _

_ “THAT’S MY MOM!” Dunma sobbed, and all Sidon could do was stare down at Gadd’s unconscious form to try and hold back his own tears. Try and block out memories of his own screams when he found his own mother.  _

_ “She’ll be okay, Dunma!” Bazz intervened, trying and failing to calm her. “She’s stable!”  _

_ Sidon tried and failed to drown out Dunma’s screams amidst the pouring rain. Feeling tears sting his eyes, he felt his gaze fall towards the pair of body bags lined up in the back of the infirmary. His friends.  _

_ His friends were  _ gone--

_ A sob caught in Sidon’s throat and he found himself looking out to the courtyard where a little girl sat. Her big golden eyes looked out to the bridge, asking any and every adult who passed by if they knew when her parents were coming home.  _

_ “What are we gonna do?” Sidon whimpered, looking out to little Minami. “Who will take her?” _

_ Amidst the pouring rain, Sidon didn’t know what was water or his own tears. But then, with a raspy voice, Rivan spoke up, “I can.” _

_ Sidon spun around to find Rivan holding Gaddison’s hand tightly. Taking a shaking breath, he nodded his head, “I can take her.” _

_ “Rivan, you have enough going on,” Bazz held his head in his hands.  _

_ “She needs someone to care for her, Bazz!”  _

_ “And Mako trusted me as her uncle!” Bazz’s voice rasped, sitting up. “He and Nela trusted both myself and Sidon with their daughter! She should be my responsibility.” _

_ “Bazz, I love you, but you are in no shape to do this on your own right now,” Rivan shook his head, “If you take her tonight, at least let me help--” _

_ “Why!?” Bazz snapped suddenly, “Because I don’t deserve a second chance at a family?!” _

_ “Bazz, that’s not what I’m saying--” _

_ “JUST BECAUSE I’VE LOST EVERYTHING, RIVAN!” Bazz roared suddenly, “That doesn’t mean I can’t pull my shit together!”  _

_ “Bazz--” Rivan frowned, but when he watched Bazz - the unshakeable, dependable Bazz - crumple. Sidon didn’t even know what to say.  _

Sidon sucked in another breath, trying to shake his way out of the horrible memory. Looking away from Zelda, Sidon looked over at where Link and Bazz were standing. Talking quietly with each other. Sidon felt his heart sink again. 

Link’s hysterical sobs from the night before rang through Sidon’s mind. His sobs for Revali, his sobs for Reba...it was too much. But it wasn’t as horrible as the day he almost lost his friendship with Bazz. 

_ Bazz was supposed to adopt Nami, but the morning before they were to break the news to the little girl, he backed out.  _

_ “Captain!” Sidon snarled, cornering Bazz on his patrol. “A word.” _

_ “With all do respect, My Prince, I don’t wanna hear it,” Bazz droned back, marching forward. But Sidon reached out and grabbed his arm. “Hey--” _

_ “Oh, you will hear it,” Sidon growled in a low voice, “Why are you backing out?” _

_ “I’m not in any shape for this shit and it’s not any of your business,” Bazz shook his head, “Now keep your voice down before the school lets out--” _

_ “She’s without a family!” Sidon snapped. “She needs you--” _

_ “She doesn’t need another maniac in the military!” Bazz retorted. “Now keep your voice down before you--” _

_ “SO YOU’RE JUST GOING TO ABANDON HER?!” Sidon roared, losing his temper.  _

_ “WELL I DON’T SEE YOU STEPPING UP!” Bazz roared back. “You’re the one with parenting experience, so why aren’t you--” _

_ “I’M NOT A FATHER, BAZZ!” Sidon snapped.  _

_ “NEITHER AM I!” Bazz screamed back, and as the two of them tore into each other with the lit fuse, they nearly tore their friendship apart right in the middle of the courtyard until there was nothing left to say to each other for several years.  _

“Zelda,” Sidon finally whispered, his voice shaking, “If you ever had a chance to change the past...would you?”

“I don’t...what do you mean?” Zelda asked. 

Sidon felt his breath catch in his throat, “If you could go back...prevent the Calamity from happening, would you?”

“I…” Zelda shook her head, “I don’t know. I mean--I wish I could undo all the mistakes I made and the suffering your sister and our friends endured but...Sidon, the life you and thousands of other people have made for yourselves would be undone if I changed the past.”

“So you wouldn’t?” Sidon asked.

“It’s not even possible to my knowledge,” Zelda shook her head, “But I don’t know. How can I trade the lives lost for the lives gained?”

“Hm,” Sidon grunted a little bit, crossing his arms. 

Then, Zelda surprised him, “Would you?”

“Pardon?” Sidon jumped a little.

“Would you change the past?” Zelda asked, “Make it so the Calamity didn’t happen if you could?”

Sidon kept a fixed stare out into the courtyard, “In a heartbeat.”

* * *

Faro got lost while Riju was in the meetings. Well, to say he got lost was probably a lie. In actuality, he was having a great morning after his consultation with the doctor and was happily waiting for his prescription at the pharmacy when he bumped into a group of Hylian officials. 

He tried to ignore them, keeping his back turned uncomfortably while he crossed his arms tightly over his chest. He didn’t know why, but there was something about being outside of the desert that made him hyper aware of his body. Maybe it was because the weather was too cold to stick to his usual attire and the only shirts he owned highlighted his curves. Maybe it was the odd stares he got or the way his binder couldn’t give him the silhouette he wanted without the fabric being glaringly obvious. Or maybe it was the way he  _ had _ to wear a binder to avoid being misgendered. 

Or maybe it was because, in spite of his efforts, one of the delegates - a Sheikah man in fancy robes - still marched straight up to him and tapped his shoulder, “Pardon me, miss, but are you Farci’s daughter?”

“Farci doesn’t have a daughter,” Faro found himself snapping poignantly. “Though I am her son--”

Faro paused when he made eye contact with the man’s cold gaze. His eyes were piercing, his face gaunt, but the only thing more alarming than the way the man was staring at Faro was the fact that he knew Mom. 

Faro had never seen this man before in his life, but when he tried to get a read on the Sheikah, he was met with a sudden, blank abyss. “Who are you?”

“Why, I’m Senator Astor,” the man tipped his head with a polite - sinister - smile. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”

“And...you want...what from me, exactly?” Faro found himself taking a few steps back. 

“Oh, just wanted to introduce myself,” Astor took another step forward, and Faro felt himself hit the back counter. “And...speak with you about some rather...important matters regarding our peoples.”

“The Chief is in meetings with your Princess,” Faro felt his eyes darting. Something didn’t feel right about this man. “Any matters you wish to discuss can be between our leaders or you can address the Chief yourself, now if you’ll excuse me--”

Faro tried to push away, but the man caught him by the bicep, “Dear Child, the matters I wish to discuss are on behalf of the  _ Sheikah _ Tribe, not Hyrule!”

“Well, then my statement holds,” Faro tried to shrug away from Senator Astor. “I may be friends with the Chief, but your business is not mine--”

“Even though you are the child who can see the future?” Astor said in a low tone, and Faro paused dead in his tracks. “Isn’t it... _ odd _ that the line of prophets weren’t appointed to royalty when Urbosa died?”

“It’s not odd, it’s a balance of power,” Faro hissed back, “Now how do you know all that?”

“I’m the prophet for the Sheikah, same as you,” Astor hummed, and Faro was a little unnerved at the way he smiled at him. “So...about the matters at hand. It’s rather busy here, would you mind stepping outside with me? Perhaps go for a walk?”

Faro stood frozen, staring at Astor with wide eyes as he tried - and failed - to get a read on exactly  _ where _ Astor planned to take him. But he couldn’t see what was in Astor’s future, nor could Faro see what was in his own future if he followed. It was--it was  _ terrifying. _ Did Faro have the same effect on him at least? What was happening? 

“I have a prescription for...Cici Faro?” a Zora called out, capturing Faro’s attention. 

“That’s me!” Faro rushed forward to take the prescription out of the woman’s hands. As he did, she got a funny look on her face. 

“Sir...is everything alright?” she asked, and Faro noticed the way her eyes darted to Astor, who stood precariously behind him. 

“O-of course!” Faro gasped, not sure how else to answer her. She remained skeptical, but kept her distance as Faro turned back to Astor and tried to get out of his line of sight. 

“Cici…” Astor hummed in thought, “You’ve taken your birth mother’s name?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Faro lied through his teeth.

“Well, it’s no secret that the Gerudo take the name of their siring mother at birth,” Astor hummed, “Using the final syllable of that mother’s given name. It also becomes a term of endearment for that parent...but your mother, Farci, is the one who gave birth to you. So why did you take her name?”

“How do you know my mother again?” Faro finally snapped. How did he know all this? Why was it any of his business? 

“It’s less that I know her and more that I know  _ of _ her,” Astor grinned in an unsettling way. “My family has kept close eyes on the important lineages of the world. Especially lineages of the Gerudo. Lolo Farci is one of the greatest Seers of our time! It’d be a shame if she fell prey to poverty...or prostitution.”

Faro felt a nerve in him snap at Astor’s commentary. Had he not been in public, he would’ve drawn his scimitar at the man for so much as  _ uttering _ his mother’s name. Thankfully, the Pharmacy Tech had kept an eagle eye on Astor and intervened, “I’m terribly sorry Sir, but unless you need to buy something or fill a prescription I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“What?” Astor blinked at her in surprise, “I’m just chatting with a family friend--”

“This young man has clearly indicated that he doesn’t know you and as far as myself and my coworkers can tell, you are harassing him,” the Zora pushed back, “Please leave before I have to call my manager.”

Faro watched in amazement as Astor gave in to the woman. He gave in almost a little too easily. It was sickening the way he smiled and bowed, “My apologies, Miss. I will be on my way. And Faro...I look forward to seeing you again soon. My daughter is a fan of your music, you know!” 

Faro jumped, clutching his prescription to his chest as Astor walked out of the pharmacy. Even as the employees now surrounding him breathed a sigh of relief, he still felt like he was holding his breath. 

How did he know about Mom?

“Are you alright, Dear?” the Pharmacy Tech asked. Faro wasn’t quite sure how to answer her, but he must’ve looked as unnerved as he felt. With a sympathetic frown, she placed a hand on his shoulder and said, “If you don’t mind waiting a few minutes, I can call someone to escort you back to the palace until Chief Riju is out of her meetings. Hell, Prince Sidon is so go with the flow about things, I’m certain he’d even let you  _ in _ the meetings if it meant keeping you away from that creep--”

“I’d like to just go back to my hotel,” Faro blurted finally, “If it’s all the same to you.”

The older woman frowned, but relented, “Well, at least let me call Captain Rivan to see you home. He’s an old friend of mine, it’s no trouble.”

“O-okay,” Faro deflated. “Th-thank you, ma’am.”

* * *

“So...you’re a singer?” Rivan asked the little Gerudo he was escorting. It was awkward enough that  _ Claudine _ called for him, out of the blue, for the first time in decades. But all for an escort? What, did she assume his paternal instincts would kick in the minute he found a freaked out teenager in the middle of her pharmacy?

Well...Claudine did hit the nail on the head, because that’s exactly what happened. It still weirded Rivan out that  _ he _ was the guard she requested when she normally avoided any and everyone in his friend group with a ten foot pole. Hell, he was pretty sure she’d normally request Dunma over Rivan at this point. 

Actually...she had. More specifically, she had requested “anyone that wasn’t Rivan” for a public disturbance call and Dunma was the closest and newest cadet who drew the shortest straw. Rivan just happened to see who put the call in and his dadly hackles raised, so he swapped calls with Dunma. 

In his defense, he never actually  _ told _ Dunma who her biological mother was. 

In his defense of his defense, Dunma never actually  _ wanted _ to know who her biological mother was and Gaddison taught the girl how to channel her anger issues. He couldn’t actually trust Claudine to keep her damn mouth shut and Dunma wouldn’t have hesitated to claw a bitch’s eyes out. Especially when she was in her twenties! 

“I--” the little Gerudo stuttered, pulling Rivan out of his own thoughts. “I am, Sir.”

“Ooooh,” Rivan hummed, fighting hard to distract himself too. He uh...had to admit that he felt a little awkward for causing a scene in front of the boy when he was already shaken up. 

_ “I got a call for an escort?” Rivan announced to the cashier at the front of the store. The young boy nodded his head and started to point towards the pharmacy, but  _ Claudine _ rushed up to him like they were as chummy as ever.  _

_ “Oh thank goodness!” she greeted, having the audacity to place a lithe hand on his shoulder. Rivan felt himself flinch and instinctively scowl at the woman who subsequently paused and realized what she was doing, “Y-you look good.” _

_ “What the hell do you want, Claudine?” Rivan felt himself snapping before he processed that he did.  _

_ “I have a young man, this boy here,” Claudine took Rivan’s hand and drug him back to the pharmacy where a little blue-haired Gerudo was visibly trembling. “He was being harassed by some Hylian delegate, I need someone to make sure he gets home safe!”  _

_ “Claudine, this is a cadet’s job,” Rivan shook his head, glaring at her. “Why the hell did you request me?” _

_ “Sh-she said you were an old friend, Sir,” the Gerudo piped up, and had it been anyone else who called, Rivan would’ve put on his Dad Face sooner. But no, fucking  _ Claudine _ and her  _ god damn audacity _ was the one who made the call.  _

_ “Old friend!?” Rivan laughed, in complete disbelief. “That’s one way to put it!”  _

_ “Rivan--” Claudine begged.  _

_ “No, no, this is rich!” Rivan smacked his hand against his thigh, “What else did ya tell the kid? That you’re a proud mother of  _ two?”

_ Claudine’s desperate expression fell, and suddenly Rivan found himself being shoved into the shelving units in the aisle behind him. “He was being harassed by one of those Hylian uppercrusts, Asshole! I thought you could pull rank to keep a few jackass senators away from him, so wipe that smug grin off your face and help the poor boy!”  _

_ Rivan let out a small snort as he glared at Claudine, then turned his attention to the Gerudo. Poor kid’s shoulders were shaking even more now.  _

“Hey...listen, Kid,” Rivan was feeling exceptionally guilty now that the heat of the moment passed, “I’m sorry about what happened earlier--”

“Is...that woman your ex-girlfriend?” the Gerudo boy finally asked, and Rivan couldn’t help but make note of the curious glint in his eyes. 

“Something like that,” Rivan muttered. “We uh...we go back a ways, but uh...it’s old history and I’m sorry I let that interfere with my helping you.”

“It’s okay,” the boy looked down, clutching whatever bag he’d picked up from the pharmacy, “I appreciate the escort. Truly.”

Rivan kept a steady eye on the little Gerudo, not sure how to help settle his mind, “I’m off duty after this, what do you say I buy you a couple of drinks?”

“Huh?” the boy skidded to a halt with wide eyes, “Oh--that’s kind of you sir, but I’m under age in Hyrule!” 

Rivan frowned in confusion at that, “How old are you?”

“Eighteen.”

“Fuck,” Rivan jumped at how  _ young _ the kid was. “I’m sorry, man, I have no concept of age in you guys.”

The boy chuffed a little, and as he flashed a small little smile, Rivan wondered if he finally broke the ice, “Well, how old are you?”

“Uhhhhh,” Rivan had to think about that for a minute. “Well, I was twenty-eight when the Calamity hit so...what, one hundred and thirty? Thirty-two-ish?”

“Oh wow,” the boy’s eyes widened like saucers, “Most Gerudo your age are shriveled like prunes!” 

“HA!” Rivan snorted suddenly, “It’s the scales, I’m sure. You know--I have a feeling you’ll get along well with my daughter--and I don’t mean that in a ‘set you two up’ kinda way. She’s much too old for you.”

The boy snickered a little at Rivan’s commentary, and as they finally reached the hotel, Dunma - speak of the devil - burst through the doors to find him. “Dad!” she cried out, “Dad, I need to talk to you about--wait--”

Dunma froze, her eyes falling intently on the Gerudo boy standing with him. While Rivan admitted that he had been trying (and failing) to place why the boy looked so familiar, it was Dunma’s excited gasp that finally gave him a clue. Oh no. “Dunma, this is a friend of the Gerudo Chief. Behave yourself, he had to deal with some shit at the phar--”

“Are you the lead singer of Farall?!” Dunma squeaked, lurching forward to take the boy’s hand. Oh fuck. 

“Dunma!” Rivan scolded. 

“I--I am!” the boy nodded, his face lighting up a little. “You know my music?”

“DO I!?” Dunma shrieked, and suddenly she was a teenager making out with an Indigo-Go’s poster in her bedroom again. “I’m a huge fan!!” 

“Wow,” the boy giggled, “I didn’t know my music made it this far out of the desert!” 

“Wait,” Rivan tilted his head to the side, “Is Farall that band whose tape you got jammed in the cassette player?”

“Yes, because  _ Misery Business _ is the best god damn song on their album!” Dunma protested, and Rivan felt like he was watching the kid’s head visibly inflate. 

“I didn’t know the break-up song I wrote at three in the morning would reach the Domain,” the boy’s eyes were glittering in awe, “This is awesome!”

“Can I get your autograph!?” Dunma asked suddenly, and Rivan was smacking his hand to his face. 

“Can I  _ sign _ an autograph?!” the Gerudo retorted, bouncing excitedly like a child while Dunma patted herself for her notepad. As he signed his name, he squealed, “This is the  _ best!” _

“I’ll say!” Dunma squealed back, “Say--I don’t mean to pry, but do you guys know when you’ll release a new album?”

“Well,” the boy - Faro - blushed, “It might be a while. I uh...I’m trying to transition and the doctors don’t want me overusing my voice while it changes.”

Rivan watched as Dunma’s eyes visibly bugged out of her head, “Transition…? Like to a boy?”

“Yes,” Faro blushed. 

“You’ll have a boy voice?” Dunma’s own voice cracked, “Like a deep manly man voice to soothe me to sleep at night?”

Faro smirked a little, “That’s the goal.”

“Hylia,” Dunma gasped. 

“You are  _ too old _ for him,” Rivan finally pushed his daughter out of the way. 

“I’m not thirsting for him _ , _ Dad!” Dunma retorted, “I’m just picturing a soothing baritone singing the songs on Farall’s album!”

“You’re pathetic!”

“Not as pathetic as you are listening to Indigo-Go cover bands!” 

“Idigo-Go,” Faro crossed his arms in amusement, “Isn’t that an oldies band from before recordings existed?”

“They’re not an oldies band, they're a  _ classic _ band and the lead singer’s a babe!” Rivan cried out in defiance, but suddenly his own daughter and her current favorite singer were harassing him for his taste in women. 

* * *

Link’s head was  _ pounding _ by the time the meetings concluded for the day. He was just thankful that the afternoon session wasn’t as...chaotic as the morning, but he couldn’t help but notice the way everyone walked on eggshells around each other during the second half of the day. It was arguably tenser than the meetings he observed when King Rhoam was in power. 

But...Link just hoped that this was just a fluke. First time nerves. He knew everyone from each delegation by this point. Loved them all dearly, trusted them with his life on more than one occasion. Surely, he could trust them to get their shit together? 

Heaving a sigh, Link sat down on the bench in the courtyard as he waited for school to let out. Behind him, Bazz let out a breath of his own. 

“Our Prince sure is full of shit sometimes,” Bazz finally acknowledged the elephant in the room. 

“Which part,” Link droned, “The several dozen times he called Riju a ‘young lady’ or the number of stupid questions he asked Zelda that riled up the other delegations when we could’ve wrapped up sooner?”

“Ugh,” Bazz grimaced, “I’ll give him slack for the second one.”

Link groaned, his head falling back into his hands, “Bazz, I need you to be honest with me.”

“I usually am,” Bazz shrugged. 

“Usually?” Link retorted. Bazz shrugged again.

“Sometimes I purposefully omit information as a coping mechanism for my chronically exhausting depression,” Bazz droned, “but I do that to everybody.”

Link glared up at Bazz for all of a split second, “Don’t try and side with Zelda on this therapy thing--”

“I wasn’t,” Bazz frowned, “I’ve just had this unending guilt fester since you confronted me about Nami.”

“Uh-huh,” Link narrowed his eyes, then looked back to the school entrance at mention of his daughter’s name. 

….oh fuck.

“Is it over?” Link felt his voice crack when he asked the question, “Did I...did I blow my relationship with Sidon?”

Link couldn’t bring himself to look up at Bazz for an answer, but Bazz’s silence was even more painful. He’d had a full meltdown when his memory of the Calamity finally came back to him, and he couldn’t get Sidon’s heartbroken cries out of his mind. 

_“Link!”_ _Sidon begged, reaching for him, “Please calm down, it’ll be alright--”_

_ “HOW DO YOU KNOW?!” Link cried back, pushing his boyfriend away, “You’re not Revali!”  _

Link felt tears stinging in the corners of his eyes as he tried to push the fight out of his mind. How could he say something so cruel? He didn’t even want Revali, he wanted Sidon--

No. Link shook his head. He couldn’t lie to himself. He wanted Revali. 

But he wanted Sidon too. 

He wanted both of them. He wanted to hold both of them. He wanted both of them to hold him and tell him it would be okay, but he--he pushed them both away and now Revali was  _ dead  _ and he didn’t know why he kept having these feelings for two people! 

What was wrong with him? 

“Link,” Bazz finally breathed, “I made a really big mistake not too long ago. I was pretty sure I had lost my friendship with Sidon after we got into the fight.”

Link looked up, “What...was the fight about?”

Bazz’s jaw clenched tightly, and for one strange moment Link thought his friend was about to cry. “I uh...was originally going to adopt Nami when her parents died.”

Link stood up suddenly, “You what!?” 

“It was a dick move,” Bazz shook his head, but Link didn’t know how  _ adopting a child _ was a dick move, “I wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment. I--hell, I can’t even bring myself to move on romantically, but--nevermind. The point is, I changed my mind at the last second. At least, I did before Nami could find out that was supposed to happen, and...Sidon blew up on me in a big way.”

“So…” Link felt his brow furrowing, “Why didn’t Sidon take her in back then?”

“He was sorting his own shit out,” Bazz shook his head. 

“Bazz--”

“Link, that’s his story to tell,” Bazz met Link’s gaze. “How would you have felt if I blurted all this shit about Revali to Sidon before you had a chance to tell him?”

“I--” Link started, but then looked back to the ground. He’d...he would’ve felt pretty betrayed by Bazz if he had. “I see your point.”

“But,” Bazz crossed his arms, “This isn’t an issue because of amnesia so...just know it has to do with an old friend of his. A Zora named Valeron...Vali for short.”

“Vali?” Link snorted, “Sidon’s mentioned him...didn’t know he went by a nickname.”

“He hated his given name and thought your bird-brained husband was the coolest thing in the world,” Bazz rolled his eyes. “But anyway...when Vali died, Sidon tried to take certain matters into his own hands. And it backfired.”

“How so?” Link frowned, but Bazz shook his head. 

“He needs to be the one to tell you that,” Bazz crossed his arms, his eyes getting a little wet from the memory. Link felt his heart squeeze with guilt. What the hell happened? “But it hit Sidon pretty hard. It affected his relationship with our other friends, Nami’s parents. They always kept him in the loop, kept the door open. He just needed time to heal.”

“But then they died,” Link nodded, and Bazz was fighting hard to avoid eye contact now. 

“Then they died,” Bazz nodded, biting his lip, “And I told myself I needed to be the one to step up. Because Sidon wasn’t ready to. And I couldn’t. I fucked up, Link. That’s all there is to it.”

“But, you’re still friends with Sidon,” Link frowned. Bazz scoffed a little and shook his head.

“We didn’t speak to each other, Link,” Bazz was rocking on his heels and looking up to the sky, “We didn’t speak unless we were on duty and I was assigned to patrol with him. Even then, we just...avoided each other.”

Link watched as his friend spoke, and he couldn’t help but think back to his early days in the Domain, before he defeated Ganon. He always remembered seeing Bazz and Sidon walking together, but Bazz was right. They never really spoke to each other. Even when Link caught Bazz keeping a watchful eye on Sidon, in the middle of the night when the Prince was staring forlornly up at his sister’s statue, there was hardly a word spoken between the two. 

“When did you guys finally start talking again?” Link found himself asking. 

“When…” Bazz’s gaze was flitting about, “When he adopted Nami. I...I gave him a box with some of the belongings I cleared out of her parents’ lockers. That was the first real conversation we’d had in a few years. After that...well, it wasn’t until he confided in me about his feelings for you that we actually started repairing things with each other.”

“You mean that week I spent in Hateno before the Blood Moon?” Link gasped, “Bazz, that wasn’t that long ago!”

“I know,” Bazz grimaced. 

“You two had been avoiding each other for that long!?”

“I  _ know,” _ Bazz said again. “But it only went on that long because I didn’t have the balls to apologize for what I said to him.”

Link, in the midst of his anxiety, chose to avoid the actual topic at hand and latched onto any and everything else Bazz said, “But I thought you didn’t have balls.”

Bazz gave Link a tired glare, “Link--”

“Well, you’re a Zora!” Link shrugged, “The whole plumbing situation’s just a little different--wait, didn’t you have two moms too? So how are you a guy--? OW!”

Link flinched as Bazz flipped his trident around and smacked Link hard atop the head with its butt-end. Making an exasperated noise, Bazz droned, “Zora have a tendency to develop physically to match however they identify when they hit puberty, regardless of genetics or plumbing. Not like there’s that much of a difference anyway. So as I was saying--”

“Was it you or one of your moms who was--” Link started, but this time Bazz swung his trident like a fucking baseball bat and sent Link flying into the fountain. 

“Link! Focus!” Bazz snarled, “My  _ point _ is, Sidon has a great bounce back, but he’s not one to make the first move. You want to fix your relationship? You gotta be the one to throw him a bone. Otherwise he’s just gonna sit there and fester and think it’s over between you two until you guys barely talk. So quit your moping and learn from my mistakes!” 

“Okay!” Link whined back, pulling himself out of the fountain feeling cold and damp from the soaking, “Fuck! Did you have to throw me in there?”

“Well, considering this isn’t the first time you’ve asked me stupid questions about my plumbing,” Bazz snarled, “Yes.”

Link stared up at him, “When did I--?”

Bazz bonked Link on the head again. 

“OW! It doesn’t work like that, jackass!” 

“I know,” Bazz grinned, “I just wanted to smack you.”

* * *

Sidon was extra fidgety when he heard the door open and close that evening. He...honestly wasn’t sure what to expect at this point, but it did soothe his heart when he heard the little pitter patter of Nami running into his room. 

“Daaaad!” Nami cheered, leaping onto the bed. He felt her arms wrap around his neck from behind, and he couldn’t keep his tail from wagging as he turned his head to greet his little Minnow. 

“Hey, Sweetie,” Sidon greeted, nuzzling the top of Nami’s little head. “How was school?”

“Great!” Nami giggled, hugging Sidon more tightly. “Miss Shellie let Tulin be my buddy today since he’s visiting with the Rito. So he, Tumbo, and I played all day!” 

“That’s wonderful!” Sidon praised, reaching behind him to scoop his little girl onto his lap, “Where’s Tulin now?”

“He was still playing with Tumbo and Keye when I left,” Nami answered, giggling when Sidon cradled her like a baby. “But Mr. Fronk was watching him until his dad could pick him up.”

“Oh!” Sidon frowned a little, “Well, I’m sorry, Nami. Did you want to stay and play with the boys? Papa didn’t pick you up too early, did he?”

“No,” Nami hummed, her curiosity flying to the whistle against Sidon’s ascot. Fumbling absently with it, she said, “Papa and Uncle Bazz were looking sad. So I made them take me to get ice cream.”

“You--” Sidon squinted a little, “I’m sorry, you made Papa take you to get ice cream?”

“Yes,” Nami nodded her head, “So that he could get ice cream. Don’t worry, I only had a little scoop of--”

“Nami, you do realize that Papa’s lactose intolerant, right?” Sidon felt himself cringing. Oh Hylia, Link was going to be farting all damn night--

Well...if Link even wanted to spend time with him, that was. 

“Well, we’re both  _ sugar _ intolerant, so I don’t see the problem!” Nami gestured her arms out widely. She was just so cute, Sidon couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. 

“Well, you have a point,” Sidon grinned, unable to keep from planting a kiss to her belly while he had her. Nami let out a delighted squeal when he turned it into a raspberry, kicking until he released her.

“DAAAAD!” Nami whined, “That tickles!” 

Sidon couldn’t help but giggle with her, rocking her animatedly until he saw a shadow pass by the door. As Sidon looked up, he felt his smile falter ever so slightly. Standing in the doorway, with crossed arms, Link watched them both with an unreadable expression. His smile was fond, but his eyes….didn’t have that sparkle that Sidon had grown to love. 

“Hey...Nami?” Link cleared his throat to get her attention, then signed delicately to the girl, “Uncle Bazz was going to order take out for dinner...you want to go with him to pick it up?”

“Do I ever!” Nami cheered, and suddenly she was scampering out of Sidon’s arms to go find Bazz. Nami paused briefly when she hit the floor, however, then looked back up at Sidon with big cheerful eyes. Then, to Sidon’s surprise, she was crawling back onto Sidon’s lap to wrap her arms around him in another hug, “I’ll be back, Dad!” 

“Oh--okay, Minnow,” Sidon giggled, hugging her tightly. He couldn’t help but sigh in their embrace, “I love you, Nami.”

“I love you too!” Nami grinned, her little tail wagging. Sidon hesitantly released Nami from the hug, then watched as she gave Link a big hug as well. Link broke out into a sweet set of chuckles of his own as he pulled her off her feet a little, but he too watched as Nami left, calling for Bazz to take her with him on their nightly adventure. They both listened to the banter between Bazz and Nami for a moment, and it wasn’t until the door opened and closed that Link finally looked up at Sidon. 

When he did, Link looked so unbelievably sad. 

“Link, I…” Sidon started, but he honestly didn’t know what to say. 

Was their relationship over? 

“I’m sorry,” Link said suddenly, but that didn’t really do much to ease Sidon’s worries. What surprised Sidon, however, was when Link crossed the distance between them and took Sidon’s hand. “I...I really hurt you last night. I didn’t mean to--”

“You lost the love of your life in the worst way possible, Link,” Sidon shook his head, blinking away his tears. “It’s understandable.”

“But you didn’t deserve to catch the front of it,” Link sighed, “You deserve so much better.”

“Link,” Sidon felt the sob catch in his throat, “Please just tell me: are you breaking up with me?”

“What?” Link jumped, looking up at Sidon with wide, tearful eyes. “No! If anything, I thought you’d break up with me!” 

“Why would I do that?” Sidon whimpered back. Link stared up at Sidon for a long moment, then bumped his head against Sidon’s shoulder and sobbed. 

“I love you,” Link cried, “and I don’t understand why I can’t love  _ just _ you!”

“Because you love Revali, Link--”

“But Revali’s gone!” Link sobbed. “He’s gone and--they’re all gone and I’ve known that. And I have you! So why does it still hurt so much? Why am I so confused? Why can’t you be the only one who has my heart?”

“I--I don’t know, Link,” Sidon couldn’t help but wrap his arms around Link and hold him. The minute they embraced, Sidon felt the dam break as he cried. “But--I don’t mind sharing Link, just please don’t push me out.”

“I won’t!” Link sobbed, holding Sidon so tightly. And as they held each other, as they cried it out, Sidon realized they would be okay. Sidon realized that Link wasn’t going anywhere. Link was still Link, and he loved Sidon. For a moment, Sidon could feel nothing but relief. 

But then, that moment passed and they dried their tears. They looked to each other and smiled, giggling together for the first time in a few days. Nami and Bazz returned, and even as Nami grilled her fathers about why their eyes were so puffy, Sidon could only smile. 

He was okay, they were all okay. 

But then...Sidon started to feel less okay. 

Sidon watched as Nami spent the better part of the night pulling Bazz’s attention. He watched the way Bazz stooped gently over her, swapped inside jokes that only those two knew, and Sidon remembered that Nami wasn’t supposed to be his. 

That sick pang in his chest grew through the night, and even as Link put their little girl to bed, Sidon remembered once more: Link wasn’t supposed to be his either. 

By the time Sidon felt lightheaded with guilt, Bazz was pulling him aside, “Sidon, are you okay?”

“I--” Sidon stared out the window in a bit of a daze. “I think I need some fresh air.”

“Sidon,” Bazz said sternly, “Do you need me to go with you?”

Sidon paused, looking over at Bazz with wide eyes and he suddenly felt like a little boy crying out to his mentor for help. Crying to Bazz like the spoiled brat he had always been. 

_ “This isn’t fair!” Sidon cried, covering his eyes in a sad attempt to wipe away his tears. “If Mipha hadn’t died this wouldn’t have happened!”  _

_ “We--we don’t know she’s dead, Sidon,” Bazz said gently, crouching down next to him. Sidon looked up at Bazz with a tearful glare, but when Bazz held his arms out, Sidon could only crawl into his lap and sob.  _

_ “I hate this!” Sidon wept, “Why couldn’t I be your brother instead?!” _

_ “Because you’d be even sadder if you never got to know Mipha,” Bazz held Sidon tightly, “Besides...as far as I’m concerned, you're my little brother the same as you are Mipha’s.” _

_ Sidon sniffled against Bazz’s shoulder, “Why’s that?” _

_ “Just because,” Bazz shrugged, and he left it at that. Same as he always did.  _

“Thank you, Bazz,” Sidon finally answered, taking a distant step backwards, “I think I just...need to go for a walk. Alone. Please let Link know I’ll be back.”

Bazz frowned up at Sidon, but said little more as Sidon stepped outside. He left Sidon be as he strode across the Domain, walking in a sad flurry until somehow, for some reason, he reached the docks. When Vah Ruta rose up from the water to greet him, Sidon didn’t think twice before boarding the Divine Beast. 

There was a time when he stared up at Ruta with malice, screaming and crying out to it in anger. But now Ruta just felt like an old friend and a giant hunk of metal to cry on. 

And dammit, he would’ve cried it out in peace if it hadn’t been for that damn Horned God intruding on his thoughts,  _ “Well, well, well, what do we have here?” _

“Don’t you dare start--” Sidon snarled.

_ “Why not? This sounds like as good a time as any,” _ the god snickered.  _ “Besides, the time where I need your intervention has come. You...you’d still like to rewrite history, right?” _

Sidon glowered out into empty space, and let out a growl, “Well considering you just  _ love _ to live in my head, I think you know that answer!”

_ “Yes, but I’m worried you’ve hit a self destructive turn,”  _ the god whined,  _ “And as entertaining as it is, I kind of need you alive. So what do you say? Can you save your sister without dying?” _

“What?” Sidon gasped, turning around. He didn’t know why he was even looking for this disembodied voice, but he certainly wasn’t expecting the Guardian to be standing behind him. “AH!” 

_ Booweep! _ The Guardian chirped. Sidon stared down at Terrako with wide eyes...what did that thing have to do with all this? 

_ “Ahhh, you’ve noticed,”  _ the God sighed,  _ “Yes, this guardian is quite the interesting little one. It possesses Magic this world hasn’t seen in eons. Magic I haven’t seen in eons. Not since I had a body, at least.” _

“What…” Sidon stared down at the guardian, “Do you want me to do with it?”

_ “Help it,”  _ the god answered simply,  _ “Cross the timelines. Save your sister. Start the world anew.” _

“Stop the Calamity,” Sidon stared down at the guardian, whose eye was beginning to glow a bright blue, “And change history? Change my family’s fate?”

_ “To an extent,”  _ the god snickered,  _ “If you want to find out, why don’t you take a leap of faith?” _

“I--I don’t--” Sidon stuttered. This was happening?

_ “Are you not the one who said you would change the past in a heartbeat?” _

“I did,” Sidon swallowed a lump in his throat, “But--my family--”

_ “They’ll still be alive and you know that.” _

“I know,” Sidon shook his head, “I just want to tell them I love them.”

_ “You’ll get to,”  _ the god sighed,  _ “When you come back.” _

“Will it be the same?” Sidon asked. “I mean--I know it won’t, but--”

_ “That’s what’s so exciting about it, isn’t it?”  _ the god snickered.  _ “The only way to know is to find out.” _

Sidon sniffled as he stared at the glowing egg. The god was right but...he still wanted to hold Link again. Just one more time. 

He wanted to hold Nami one more time, see the way she looked up at him and called him her dad. 

_ “You will see them again, Prince Sidon, _ the god whispered, and his voice was almost soft.  _ “And you’ll get to hold your sister. But I need you to have faith, My Prince.” _

Sidon sucked in a breath, and for a moment he almost hesitated. He almost hesitated until Terrako sang a soft little tune and then suddenly, a window opened up. It was...so impossible to describe other than Sidon found himself peering across Vah Ruta, only the pathways in front of him were covered in ice. A sickening roar caused Sidon to jump, and a massive creature flew into view, firing some sort of canon at another Zora who hadn’t been there before. 

Another Zora who looked intimately familiar. 

Oh no--

“MIPHA!” Sidon cried out, reaching for the image of his sister. She was backing up with her trident raised, and with the way she trembled in the icy tomb, it suddenly dawned on him that this was how she died. 

A growl escaped Sidon’s throat. 

Not again. 

“Horned God,” Sidon squared himself, “I don’t suppose you know where my trident is.”

_ “You left two of your spares in the console last week,”  _ the god hummed.  _ “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t spring this on you without a weapon.” _

“Good,” Sidon heaved, any and all hesitation leaving him. He felt like a fool, rushing away from his responsibilities like this. Running towards the tunnel vision the sight of his sister gave him. But she was in trouble. She needed him. 

Sidon grasped both of his tridents, rushing towards the portal to try and stop the beast before it could take Mipha’s life. As he watched the monster fire towards his sister, he cried out and threw his trident. 

Then he leapt through the portal without hesitation. 

“NO!” Sidon roared, blocking the monster’s attack as he slid along the icy floors. Before he could even process what became of him, he let out a warning growl, “I will not let you take her again!” 

As Sidon heaved, staring down his sister’s  _ murderer _ for the first time, he did start to wonder if he actually thought this through. In the back of his mind, he could hear the Horned God chuckle,  _ “Don’t worry that pretty little head of yours, Prince Sidon, I will come back for you when your task is done…” _

Sidon had half a mind to ask the god what the hell this task was, but a brilliant, familiar,  _ beautiful _ voice caught his attention, “S-Sidon!?”

Sidon jumped, and he turned, and before he knew it, he was staring down at his sister once more. She was still so  _ so _ small compared to him...but she was alive! She was alive for once, and no matter what the hell had just become of him, he would make sure she survived this day. 

That his friends survived this day. 

That Link could go on his honeymoon and Nami could grow up without wondering who would take care of her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shimmies* 
> 
> Next chapter we get to finally see how Teba's been handling all of this. Also I'm 99.9% sure that Yunobo just followed a Rock Roast and a chance to meet Daruk into AoC. We'll see how I'm feeling lol.


	16. Teba's Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Sidon crosses timelines to save his sister, Teba is confronted with an opportunity to save Revali. As he is, however, he confronts memories of his own life and the hardships his mother has faced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snow days are for fanfiction. I had a snow day. I write fanfiction. So enjoy a chapter almost entirely from Teba's perspective because we kinda needed that.

_ When Teba was a little boy, his father always used to sing to him. It didn’t matter how late it was, if he brought Dad’s little guitar to him, he would turn around and get a twinkle in his bright golden eyes.  _

_ “What concert shall I put on tonight, My Boy?” Dad asked, leaning forward with a grin.  _

_ “Concert?” Mom looked up, and Teba couldn’t help but notice the worried glint in her eyes, “But Taluk, it’s way past his bedtime!” _

_ “Nonsense, Darling,” Dad teased, “I’m sure the school will call a snowday tomorrow with this blizzard!”  _

_ “Please, Mama?” Teba chirped, trying to put on the biggest brightest eyes he could muster. He didn’t like to worry Mom, but he loved it when Dad sang to him! He especially loved seeing Mom’s eyes sparkle when Dad sang. He made her so happy.  _

_ To his amazement, Mom was easy to persuade that evening as she sighed, her blue feathers ruffling a little when she crouched down into their family’s makeshift nest. “Alright,” Mama cooed, “Scoot in close!” _

_ “Thank you, Mama!” Teba chirped excitedly, letting the warmth of Mama’s feathers envelope him. As they brooded together, cuddling close, Dad tuned his instrument and smiled at them both.  _

_ “Alright, Mom, since you’re the one leaving tomorrow, you get to pick the first song,” Dad instructed, and Teba nodded emphatically in agreement.  _

_ “Oh!” Mom squeaked a little bit, looking down at Teba and back up to Dad, “Goodness, Taluk, you don’t have to--” _

_ “But Reba,” Dad teased, batting his eyes at Mom, “you’ll be gone for two whole  _ days _. Teba and I will miss you!” _

_ “I’m just going to the Domain,” Mom shook her head, giggling. _

_ “Yes, to visit your Zora friends!” Teba cheered, remembering all the times Mom comforted him when she left before. When he was really little, he used to cry when she went on her trips. But now he was a big strong boy who knew that Mom just needed to see her friends since they couldn’t fly to come see her. “Can I come with, Mama?” _

_ “Ohhhh, I wish you could!” Mom smiled so warmly down at him. She brushed some of his facial feathers down, then took a moment to groom a couple lose feathers with her beak so they didn’t itch. “But you’re still too little to fly that distance right now. We’ll see how strong your wings are next year, okay?” _

_ “Okay, Mama!” Teba chirped excitedly, and he fell asleep nestled in his Mama’s lap that night while his Dad sang.  _

* * *

_ On Teba’s sixteenth birthday, Mom promised to take him to meet the Zora.  _

_ “Really, Mama?” Teba gasped, “You mean it?!” _

_ “I’d say you’re strong enough,” Mom beamed, “Besides, my two best friends have been dying to meet you!” _

_ Teba felt his feathers ruffle a little with excitement. Mom’s friends wanted to meet him? He wondered what they were like! He could hardly wait the months it took before Mom was ready to travel. He was practically bouncing out of his feathers the day Dad came to him with a new bow and quiver, announcing, “You’ll need this for your trip next week!” _

_ “Really?” Teba peered down at his new bow, taking it carefully in hand. It was beautiful, looked just like the bow Mom’s father wielded before he died. Mama always told Teba stories about her parents, how brave the Champion Revali was in battle, how he could be ruthless to anybody. But he was as gentle as a songbird with Mama, and nobody else. Mama also told him all about her Papa, Revali’s husband, and how he’d sing to her when nobody was watching. How his music could always soothe her to sleep, just like Dad’s could. Mom was always so happy when she talked about her parents, it made Teba wish that he knew them. Made Teba wish that he could grow up to make a family of his own that happy one day.  _

_ Yes, Teba wanted to be just like his grandparents and just like his Dad. He wanted to fill a home with music and smiles too. But that was before Vah Medoh woke back up. Teba and Mom never did make it to the Domain that year.  _

_ Vah Medoh had been grounded, half-buried in the dirt since the Calamity. Master Revali drove it into the ground before he died. Mom said he saved everyone’s lives that day. She always sounded so triumphant when she told the story. But she always looked so sad.  _

_ There was a loud rumbling when Vah Medoh awakened, its shriek catching everyone off guard. Teba looked up from the earth tremors, and wondered out loud, “What was that?” _

_ “Oh no,” Mom gasped, her eyes wide. “Teba, get inside.” _

_ “But Mom--” Teba fought back as she pushed him back down the bridge to their house, “What was that--?” _

_ “GET INSIDE!” Mom screamed so suddenly that Teba found himself jumping. “Just--get inside and  _ stay _ inside! Do you understand?” _

_ “I--okay?” Teba shrugged, confused as other Rito around Mom’s age started panicking and yelling similar instructions to the younger generations. Unlike the other parents, however, once Mom pushed Teba into shelter she took off running towards the sound of the Divine Beast. Even Dad paused when he saw her running, and when they saw Mom lift her wings and take to the air, Teba screamed, “MOOOM!”  _

_ “Teba, stay with Kaneli!” Dad ordered, charging after Mom.  _

_ “But, Dad--!” Teba cried out, and as much as he wished he could follow directions, he couldn’t stand to watch them fly off towards danger.  _

_ “Teba, please stay with me,” Kaneli begged, but Teba was too stubborn. Tearing away from the adults, he followed after his parents, running up the stairs towards Revali’s Landing. Panting, Teba skidded to a halt once he found where his parents were standing. Mom had her bow drawn as the earth shook again. As the Divine Beast shrieked out, the noise was so deafening that Teba found himself frozen in place.  _

_ Even Dad flinched away at the noise. Backing up, he caught sight of Teba and gasped, “Reba, wait.” _

_ “Take Teba and go back,” Mom instructed.  _

_ “Reba, you can’t take that thing on!” Dad pleaded, but the only thing that moved in Mom’s stances was her feathers that blew through the wind. The earth trembled again. This time, as the beast screamed out, the massive mechanical bird rose into the air. It almost blew Teba off his feet as it rose, the ominous red glow of the machine shaking Teba to his core.  _

_ “M-Mom,” Teba gasped up at the beast.  _

_ “Boys,” Mom’s voice was sharper than he had ever heard in his life, “GO!”  _

_ “I’m not leaving you!” Teba yelled back.  _

_ “TEBA!” Dad begged, meeting Teba with a wide-eyed stare. “Please listen to your mother!” _

_ “But--” Teba insisted, but then something horrible happened: he heard the sound of the targeting system the guardians used. Red lasers locking onto the landing.  _

_ “Boys, take cover!” Mom yelled again, and instead of running away in fear she launched herself into the air with the full force of the wind and her own gale. Mom had developed the technique based on Master Revali, and she was the strongest warrior in all the Rito. At least in Teba’s opinion. She was known by even people outside their village for her aerial skills and the way she could zip and dance through the air. Teba learned everything he knew about flying from his mother, but even then he watched in awe as Mom zipped and dodged and drew the attention of Vah Medoh’s canons.  _

_ Then he saw her fire a bomb arrow at one of the canons near the base of the Beast’s head, and he watched as the Divine Beast bobbed precariously in the air.  _

_ “What is she doing?” Teba asked.  _

_ “She’s taking out Vah Medoh’s targeting systems, I think,” Dad gasped. “She--she mentioned that the Divine Beast could navigate on autopilot with them.” _

_ “Targeting...what?” Teba grimaced. “Doesn’t she need help?” _

_ “Yes, but you’re staying on the ground,” Dad ordered.  _

_ “But I can help!” Teba protested, “Mom says I’m a Rito who could be stronger than her one day!” _

_ “I know that, but you need to stay safe before you can be a warrior like Mom,” Dad pleaded. “Teba, please.” _

_ Teba glared fiercely at his dad, and if he had known how the day would have ended, he might’ve been a more obedient son.  _

_ But no, Teba was stubborn, and Mom needed help. So Teba took to the sky.  _

_ “TEBA!” Dad cried out, flying after him. As Teba soared through the sky, he saw the shifting canons above. Shifting canons that started to point towards him. In a moment of fear and hesitation, Teba wasn’t sure what to do.  _

_ But then, Teba was being pushed out of the air. In a blue blur, Teba watched his mom shove him out of the way. And she took the brunt of the canon’s fire.  _

_ “AH!” Mom yelped, turning her body to shield Teba, but he watched as she veered sharply to the left. Even as she flapped her wing fiercely she lost altitude.  _

_ “Reba, darling!” Dad cried out, flying up to them both. He scooped Mom and Teba both up and tried to veer away from Vah Medoh. “Are you alright?” _

_ “It clipped my wing!” Mom hissed, glaring up at the Beast. “But I need to shoot its other eye!” _

_ “Why?” Teba asked, trying and failing to fight off the tears burning in his eyes.  _

_ Mom was hurt.  _

_ Mom was hurt badly.  _

_ And it was all his fault.  _

_ “It--” Mom winced, trying not to cry out in pain, “It’s on autopilot. It can fly itself, so we need to knock out both of its eyes. If we do that, we’ll at least buy ourselves time! Without sight, the thing will just gain altitude and circle around.” _

_ “It still has canons,” Dad noted. _

_ “It’ll always have canons,” Mom said, “Just--Taluk, help me get up there.” _

_ “Reba, you’re in no shape to be--” _

_ “Taluk!” Mom cried out, “I’m the only one still alive who knows how this thing works. Please!”  _

_ “Then let me help!” Teba begged, and both of his parents looked at him with alarmed gazes. “It’s my fault Mama got hurt--I can shoot it!”  _

_ “Teba, I am begging you,” Mom blinked away frantic tears, “Don’t get anywhere  _ near _ that thing. I already lost my parents to the Divine Beasts, don’t make me lose my son!”  _

_ “But Mom--” Teba started, but then the Divine Beast made another, horrible shrieking noise. He watched Vah Medoh turn, circling around like it was trying to aim at the family of Rito.  _

_ “It can still see, right?” Dad asked. Mom nodded her head. “Are the...eyes at the front of the head?” _

_ “Yes,” Mom answered, “And the perimeter canons have motion sensors. The problem is, you have to get within five feet of the eyes for our bomb arrows to work--wait, Taluk, what are you doing?” _

_ “Teba, help your mother to the ground,” Dad instructed, and Teba grunted under the weight of Mom’s limp side. “I’m going to blind that thing.” _

_ “What?” Teba gasped, “But--Dad--” _

_ “Teba! For once, please just listen to us!” Dad yelled suddenly, with more force and anger behind his voice than Teba had ever heard in his life. Teba flinched, and just as he thought he was going to get the tongue lashing of a lifetime, Dad’s expression deflated into a sad, wet expression. “Keep your mother safe for me, okay?” _

_ “Taluk,” Mom protested, “Taluk, just help Teba get me to the ground and we can call for back-up!” _

_ “There’s no time,” Dad insisted, and as Teba looked at the way Vah Medoh was changing directions, he knew he was right. “I love you guys.” _

_ “Taluk--” _

_ “Wish me luck, Darling,” Dad said, looking back to them with a fond gaze, “I’ll be back soon.” _

_ As Dad took to the skies, Teba had half a mind to follow him. The only thing that stopped him was the way Mom cried out in pain when she tried to do the same thing. She slipped out of his grasp, and she would have fallen had he not been there to catch her. It was all Teba could do to lower Mom gently back to the landing. It was all they could both do but to watch Dad fire off as many bomb arrows as he could until he finally blinded Vah Medoh.  _

_ When he finally blinded the beast, Vah Medoh let out a sickening screech. Just as Mom predicted, Vah Medoh hurried up to the highest point in the sky and began circling. But just as Mom said, the canons on its sides could catch just about every motion, for as Teba thought they would be safe, he watched his father get shot down in cold blood, in the middle of the sky.  _

* * *

_ Mom broke her wing on that day, and she never made it to the Domain either. Though she mustered through the pain, she could no longer fly long distances. Mom was among the strongest Rito Warriors of their time, but even with all her strength and the help from the doctors, her wing never truly healed. By the age of sixty-seven, Mom could no longer fly. She was a grounded Rito limited to as far as her legs could carry her.  _

_ To make Teba feel even worse, they learned after the fact that Mom’s leg had been burned badly by the canons. Even though her wings could carry her short distances for a few years, she walked with a permanent limp no matter what she did. Once she stopped flying and had to walk everywhere, she needed a cane to help her get around the village. The only thing that kept Teba from crying himself to sleep at night was the fact that the village as a whole never stopped seeing Mom as the seasoned warrior she was. Especially Master Kaneli, who took Teba under his wing when Dad died.  _

_ “It’s just not fair!” Teba cried out in frustration. He hated throwing fits like this, but the first time he saw Mom hobbling around on a cane, he nearly lost it. So instead of losing it, he tore ass to the Flight Range and fired off more arrows than he could count. Had Kaneli not come to get him by dinner time, Teba might’ve accidentally thrown his father’s bow into the abyss in his heated rage.  _

_ “Good gracious, Teba!” Master Kaneli’s feathers ruffled in surprise, “What is this about?” _

_ “It’s not fair, Kaneli!” Teba spat again. He felt like an idiot. Here he was, a grown man, crying out because his mother had a limp. “Mom deserves better than this, you know! She deserves better than me! And now she can’t even  _ fly!”

_ “Teba,” Kaneli scolded, shaking his head. Teba glared up at the Chief, and was surprised that Master Kaneli wore such a fond expression, “You of all people should know better than to underestimate your mother.” _

_ “But she’s wounded,” Teba fought back, “She can’t fly, she can’t shoot her bow, she can’t do anything the way that she used to!”  _

_ “And?” Kaneli hummed, and Teba almost chucked his father’s bow right at his fat, feathery head. In spite of Teba’s white hot rage, Kaneli took several strides forward and smiled up at him, “Wounded or not, Lady Reba is among the best of the best. Besides, I’d argue that her wounds are a blessing in disguise. When we lost Master Revali to the Calamity, your mother and great-grandmother rose up as the protectors of our people. Why, had she not turned it down, she would have been Chief in my place! But she did all those things because she had to, not necessarily because she wanted to. Now...now she can retire and entrust the village to her son, her students, and the younger generations to come. Now she can live her life doing what she wants to, wouldn’t you agree?” _

_ “I--I suppose,” Teba glanced down, trying and failing to blink away the tears, “But she--she’s lost everything more times than I can count, Kaneli. How do I know she’s happy?” _

_ “Teba,” Kaneli chuckled, “She has a son like you, how could she not have a life full of joy? Besides! She’s  _ Reba, _ that woman is more resilient than even the Hero of legends. As long as there is a reason to be joyful, she will find it. So why don’t you do your dear mother a favor and give her that reason. Hmm?” _

_ Teba looked down at Kaneli, and for some reason he started crying. As he whimpered against the old man’s shoulder, he realized that Kaneli was right. Mom had lost everything: her parents, her grandmother, her husband, friends, even her wings. But she still had Teba. And Teba had her. So he had to give her the world. _

_ So Teba lumbered home, wiping his eyes dry while he picked up his pride. He lumbered home with a new resolve to make his mother proud, yet when he opened the door he was met with a star-like twinkle in her bright blue eyes.  _

_ “Teba!” Mom chirped in delight, “It’s about time you got home, I was just about to put the cookies in the oven and I had no one to taste test!”  _

_ “Ah--” Teba grunted in amazement. He almost wanted to remind her that he wasn’t a child anymore, but he relented. “I’m sorry, Mom.” _

_ “Why, there’s no reason to apologize,” Mom sighed so sweetly, “We all need time for our hobbies, thoughts, and personal growth. Did you get enough practice in at the Flight Range?” _

_ Teba watched in amazement as his mother moved about the kitchen. The woman looked like she was preparing a feast for twenty and he had half a mind to ask how many people from her knitting club were about to descend on the house that evening. More perplexing, however, was the question that did come out of Teba’s mouth: “How did you know I was at the Flight Range?” _

_ Mom merely giggled in response, “It’s the family’s happy place, I suppose! I’m pretty sure that’s where your father and I met. That man was a skilled swordsman, but he couldn’t shoot a bow and arrow to save his life. It’s just a blind miracle that he saved us from Vah Medoh!”  _

_ Teba chuffed a little, somehow not feeling sad about the way he joked, “He probably had to shoot from point blank just for his bomb arrows to hit!”  _

_ Mom’s laughter escalated into a little shriek followed by a snort, and when her laughter died down, she nodded, “Yes! Granted, if he spent any more time at target practice, he might’ve improved. But no, it seemed your father only ever showed up at the Flight Range to strum his guitar...not that I ever minded.” _

_ “Didn’t you grow up next to the Flight Range?” Teba couldn’t help but ask, and the way Mom beamed when she looked back at him made Teba’s heart soar.  _

_ “I did,” she nodded. “Papi--your grandfather--built that cabin out by the Flight Range with my Papa’s help...actually, I’m fairly certain Papa did all the work. But...Papi didn’t have enough money to get a house or apartment when he graduated from the orphanage so he largely spent most of his time living at the Flight Range. He called it his ‘training’ until Papa and their friends called him on it. But...I don’t know, there was something exciting about camping out on that balcony at night. We could just sit there for hours stargazing together.” _

_ “That sounds...awesome,” Teba sighed, leaning his head in his hands, “I wish I could’ve known him.” _

_ “You would’ve given that man a run for his money,” Mom giggled, “And he would’ve loved every second of it.” _

_ “You think so?” Teba asked. Mom nodded fondly. Then, Teba couldn’t help but follow-up and ask, “What about your Papa?” _

_ “Oh,” Mom jumped a little, then drew in a little. Teba frowned. For some reason, Mom always seemed conflicted about her other father unless she was caught up in the moment of the story. He never really knew why. But then, Mom looked up at Teba with the same fond expression and sighed, “Yes, Teba. I think Papa would’ve adored you. You two would’ve gotten into so much trouble together, Papi’s feathers would’ve gone snow white!” _

_ “Really?” Teba smiled tentatively, “But how come you seem...less sure about that?” _

_ “Oh--” Mom glanced down again, then sighed, “I guess there was a time when I wasn’t sure how Papa felt about me...I don’t think he was ready to be a father when he married Papi, but...well, let’s just say that I have reason to believe he grew out of that phase pretty quick.” _

_ “I don’t...what does that mean?” Teba asked, confused, but Mom got that playfully cryptic glint in her eyes that told him he wouldn’t get a straight answer.  _

_ “One day, Teba, I hope we both find out,” Mom grinned. Then, with a wink of her eye she completely changed the subject, “Now! When is that sweet girl of yours coming by for dinner?” _

_ “Oh?” Teba grunted, then he suddenly remembered what day it was, “OH! Fuck, Mama, I completely--I haven’t even showered!” _

_ “Then go wash up and I’ll have dinner ready,” Mom ushered Teba out of the kitchen, “If she gets here before you’re ready, I’ll stall with cookies!”  _

_ “But I thought those were for your knitting club--” _

_ “It’s my scrabble club tonight!” Mom grinned, and Teba honestly wanted to throw up in his mouth.  _

_ “Since when did you join the scrabble club!?”  _

_ “Since I found out there was a scrabble club that ran out of the stable!” Mom whined, “It’s really fun and simple to play--you should try it!”  _

_ “Mom, you’re so--” Teba blinked, unable to keep a filter on his mouth, “When did you get so  _ old?”

_ “You call it old,” Mom smoothed a few stray feathers with her good wing, batting her eyelashes, “I call it refined, young man.” _

_ Teba stuck his tongue out, and he most definitely did gag at the thought of his mom becoming an old lady.  _

* * *

_ “Saki,” Teba wrapped his arms around his beautiful wife, humming contently, “I don’t suppose you have any plans this afternoon?” _

_ Saki giggled in his embrace, sighing a little as he nuzzled the side of her head, “Considering that your mother offered to pick Tulin up from school...not particularly. What did you have in mind?” _

_ “Oh,” Teba hummed seductively in his wife’s ear, “A few things--” _

_ As Teba held his wife closer, the ground began to tremble. It was barely noticeable at first, but then the tremors became stronger and more insistent. By the time Teba was almost knocked completely off his feet, he heard the sounds of people screaming outside.  _

_ “Teba? What is that?” Saki gasped, holding tightly onto Teba to stay steady. Teba wasn’t quite sure, so he stupidly ran outside to see what was going on. At first, he couldn’t see anything, but as he circled around the village and headed instinctively for the school, he froze in place when he saw several massive towers rise up from the ground. One of which was surprisingly close by, just a few miles out from the stable.  _

_ “What in the--?” Teba balked, “Saki, where is my mother?” _

_ “She was on her way to pick up Tulin!” Saki answered, and as the couple exchanged worried glances, they ended up taking off for the school without saying another word to each other. Thankfully, they found Mom and Tulin just outside of the school. Both of them were unharmed, but their gazes were fixed towards the nearest tower in awe.  _

_ “Wooooaaah,” Tulin smiled, “What is that, Granny?” _

_ “I--don’t know,” Mom said, “Let’s get you home, Sweetie--oh! Kids!”  _

_ “Mom, are you alright?” Teba asked, fluttering nervously towards his mother. Mom looked up at Teba with some odd front as if his concern offended her.  _

_ “Of course I’m alright!” Mom frowned, “...does this mean I can’t babysit my grandson?” _

_ “Awww!” Tulin whined up at Teba, “But Daaaad! Granny said she was gonna bake cookies!” _

_ “I know, Son--” Teba braced his hands on his knees, but Tulin continued to throw a fit.  _

_ “Please let me go home with Granny, Dad! Those towers aren’t that scary!”  _

_ “I--I know, but--” Teba started, but Saki merely silenced him by putting a hand on his shoulder while she laughed.  _

* * *

_ When Vah Medoh dropped down in altitude, Teba took matters into his own hands.  _

_ Well, Teba tried to take matters into his own hands, but then Harth had to be Harth about it.  _

_ “Teba, I’m not letting you take that thing on alone,” Harth scolded.  _

_ “Why? Just because I failed the first time I faced it?” Teba snarled back.  _

_ “No, because your father and grandfather were both shot down by that thing and I’d rather you not follow in their footsteps!” Harth snarled back, and the two bickered the entire way up to the skies above, only for Teba to eat his own words when he watched his best friend get shot down.  _

* * *

_ Teba watched as Link soared down to the base of Vah Medoh on his paraglider, making sure he was on steady ground before he turned back to the village. Unfortunately, Teba didn’t realize how hurt he was until he landed. And then crashed.  _

_ So he crash landed.  _

_ So he toppled forward and hit the ground with repeated thuds when he tried to get back to the landing of the village. As he laid on the ground, his face planted firmly into the wooden boards, he cursed himself when he heard the worried cries of his wife, his mother, and Master Kaneli all calling to him.  _

_ “TEBA!” Mom sobbed, all but throwing her cane off the edge of the landing when she fell to her knees to inspect him, “Oh Sweet Goddess Above, Teba, say something!” _

_ “I’m alright--” Teba pushed himself up with a sour face, “But Link’s still up there--” _

_ Teba didn’t get to finish his sentence, for Mom was pulling him into a hug, crying hysterically. Stiffening, Teba frowned, “Mom! Mom, I’m fine--” _

_ “I thought I was going to lose you too!” Mom wept, and suddenly Teba’s reckless actions over the last several days caught up with him.  _

_ She had begged him not to go, even when it had been the council’s decision to send Teba up there. And when Harth fell, Teba just stormed off to the Flight Range knowing damn well that Mom couldn’t cross the ravine anymore. And he stayed there, without a word, and left his own family worrying sick for his well-being.  _

_ When Teba looked up at Saki’s tearful glare, he deflated, “I’m so sorry.” _

_ “You should be,” Saki snapped in a low voice. _

_ Mom hugged Teba a little tighter, “It’s just a miracle you’re safe!”  _

_ Teba leaned into his mother’s embrace, and somehow her blind relief made him feel more guilty. The only thing that really seemed to cheer him up were Tulin’s cheers when he returned.  _

_ “DAAAAD!” Tulin chirped, flying into Teba’s arms, “Dad! Dad! Dad! You fought Vah Medoh! That was so COOL!”  _

_ “Tulin, don’t get any ideas from this,” Saki warned, but something about the twinkling admiration in his son’s eyes had Teba grinning like an idiot.  _

_ “Y-yeah,” Teba grunted, “It was kinda cool!” _

_ “Oh dear,” Mom squeaked, and before Teba’s ego could grow anymore, Harth was smacking him upside the head.  _

_ “OW!” Teba snapped, “What was that for?” _

_ “Just swatting your ego in check,” Harth shook his head, “I can’t believe you took that thing on by yourself!” _

_ “I didn’t!” Teba frowned, “I had help from Link--oh fuck, Link--” _

_ Teba spun around towards Mom and Kaneli, but paused when Mom’s expression had paled. Her eyes wide. With the smallest voice Teba had ever heard, she asked, “Link? Who is Link?” _

_ “He--” Teba started, then looked down. “I, uh...Kaneli sent him to find me. He had bomb arrows and wanted to help stop Medoh but...shit, he’s still up there, I promised him I would get back-up!”  _

_ “Okay, but who is Link?” Mom said again, this time turning her burning gaze to Kaneli. The elder beamed with excitement.  _

_ “Reba, you aren’t going to believe this!” Kaneli raised his wings, “He’s the descendant of the Hero!” _

_ Teba felt his brow furrow in confusion at that, but Mom’s eyes only got wider, “...what?” _

_ “Why yes, he doesn’t have the Master Sword or anything,” Kaneli muttered on, “And he was a little lost when he got here, but he had the Sheikah Slate! He is a mighty descendant and has supposedly slain other Divine Beasts up to this point!”  _

_ “Seriously?” Teba placed a hand on his hip. Link never mentioned that to him. “Which ones?” _

_ “Vah Ruta and Vah Rudania!” Kaneli pressed on excitedly, “He plans to take on Vah Naboris next and--he might very well be the savior of this world!”  _

_ “But that doesn’t make any sense,” Mom shook her head, apparently still stuck on the first part of the story. “The Hero didn’t have any descendants--who is this man?” _

_ “Well...his name  _ is _ Link--” Teba started, but Mom spat out an angry noise and flapped her good wing in frustration.  _

_ “There are hundreds of Hylians named Link!” Mom cried out, “I--ohhhhh, I’m sorry, I need a moment.” _

_ Teba watched in confusion as Mom stormed away. This was possibly the first time in his entire life that he had seen Mom storm away in frustration. In fact, he was fairly certain this was the first time Kaneli had ever seen Mom storm away because he was just as slack-jawed as everyone else still standing there.  _

_ Finally, Saki elbowed Teba, “Babe, go talk to your mother.” _

_ “Wh-what am I even supposed to say?”  _

_ “I don’t know just--this is out of character for her, go check on her!” Saki ordered again, and as she elbowed him, Teba trotted forward to check on his mother. Hylia, for someone with a broken wing and a limp, Mom was lightning fast. She tore ass down the village back to their house in the time it took Teba to stand there in dumbfoundment. When he finally did find her, she was muttering to herself over the blocks of fabric sitting on her dining table.  _

_ “Mom, maybe settle down before you start putting quilt blocks together,” Teba warned when he found her. The look she gave him in return was absolutely incredulous. Flinching, Teba deflated, “I--I’m sorry?” _

_ “Huh?” Mom grunted, caught herself, then suddenly she was gushing and hovering nervously over him, “Oh, Teba! I am so sorry! I don’t know what came over me, I--” _

_ “Mom,” Teba took his mother’s hands in his, “Mom, it’s okay, I’m just worried. What’s going on?” _

_ Mom looked up at Teba, then looked down at the floor with the saddest look in her eyes. He had never seen such anguish before. Not even when Dad died. That scared Teba, it scared him worse when she stepped away from him and sat down at the table with a defeated sigh, “Did he...did your friend say anything about Revali?” _

_ “He just said that…” Teba looked away, trying to think about their brief exchanges. Link was a man of few words, though Teba was at least able to understand a bit of the sign language he communicated with. Mom had always been big on teaching Teba sign language, but he had been stubborn about picking it up. “He mentioned something about needing to save Revali’s spirit? I wasn’t very clear on it...why?” _

_ “It’s just,” Mom sucked in a deep breath, then finally spun around to face him, “Teba, whoever that man is up there….he can’t be the Hero’s descendant.” _

_ Teba frowned, not sure why this was still an issue. He...certainly seemed like he was! “Why not?” _

_ “Because,” Mom pushed herself back to her feet, then placed her hands on Teba’s shoulders, “Teba, I--I’m sorry I kept this from you, but it was to protect our family.” _

_ “Protect--Mom what are you saying?” Teba shook his head.  _

_ “Your friend isn’t the Hero’s descendant,” Mom blinked away the tears, “You are, Teba. My Papa’s name was Link Wilde. He wielded the Master Sword and married Revali in secret.” _

* * *

Teba jerked awake with a gasp, and for a moment he wasn’t sure where he was. As he looked around, trying to make sense of the vaulted ceilings and distant sounds of running water, his gaze fell to his son curled up neatly on his chest. 

Tulin stirred, wincing a little in response to whatever noise Teba made when he woke up. As Tulin blinked, his sweet little eyes looking sleepily up at Teba, he whined, “Dad…? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Kiddo,” Teba lied, holding Tulin tightly. He couldn’t help but groom a few stray feathers out of the way as he held his boy, then nestled the top of his head. “I just had a bad dream, is all.”

“What kind of dream?” Tulin yawned sleepily. 

Teba frowned to himself, trying to piece together what he knew. For all intents and purposes, the Rito still largely knew Link as the descendant of the Hero, especially since Mom kept tight-lipped about her parents, even to Kaneli. As much as he hated to admit it, Teba...had a hard time believing Mom’s story. He believed Mom when she said his grandfather was a Hylian named Link. He could even buy the part where he wielded the Master Sword. 

But where he got stuck was the fact that  _ Link _ was potentially the same Link who helped raise her in childhood. That...that wasn’t possible, was it? 

But then there was what Prince Sidon had told him. 

_ ““For...what it’s worth, Teba, Link has had complete and total amnesia since he awakened in the Shrine of Resurrection. He’s only just now starting to remember his past.” _

Something about the Prince’s voice grated on him, and Teba nearly let out a heated growl. Shrine of Resurrection..? Amnesia?! None of that made any sense! If he remembered his past--if he remembered  _ Mom, _ why didn’t he come forward?! Why didn’t he say something in the  _ dozens _ of times he had been in the village since Ganon’s defeat?! 

“Dad?” Tulin whispered again, and Teba snapped out of his trance to find a pair of worried little eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I--I just had a bad dream is all,” Teba sighed into his son’s feathers, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay!” Tulin chirped, hugging Teba tightly, “Do you need a glass of water?”

At the question, Teba felt his heart lighten and he chuckled. “Thank you, Kiddo, but I think I just need some fresh air--let me tuck you in while I’m gone, okay?”

“Mmmm,” Tulin hummed, not fighting Teba too hard on that one. He couldn’t help but brush back his boy’s feathers until Tulin’s eyes drifted back closed. With a sigh, Tulin slowly fell back asleep. 

When he did, he left Teba alone with his thoughts. 

Teba was learning that it was dangerous to leave him along with his thoughts. 

Still, that didn’t change the fact that Teba found himself standing outside on a balcony overlooking the Domain. With a groan, Teba asked aloud, “What am I even doing here?” 

_ “That’s a very good question, Champion…”  _ a deep, menacing voice whispered in his ear. 

“What!?” Teba gasped, spinning around. “Who’s there!?” 

Teba looked, but to the best of his knowledge he was the only one standing on the balcony. 

Well...he thought he was until he heard a curious little beep. Then, to his surprise, the little egg guardian that Tulin spent all damn day playing with stepped out of the shadows, peering up at Teba for a moment before scampering forward. 

“Oh…” Teba grunted, “Okay.”

The guardian kept staring up at him, and Teba for the life of him didn’t know what to make of the thing. It weirded him out, to be frank. But Tulin thought it was the best damn thing in the world and apparently Princess Minami had named it. Or she claimed Princess Zelda had named it and she was going around insisting that everyone and their mother should address the guardian by its given name. But it was a guardian. Guardians killed people. 

“Guardians are also a lot...bigger than you,” Teba hummed out loud, then shook his head, “I must be going crazy.”

_ “No...not crazy, you’ve just never heard a god whisper inside your head before,” _ the voice said again, and this time Teba did let out a scream. 

“What the fuck do you  _ want?!” _ Teba howled, jumping five feet into the air. The voice in his head sighed heavily. 

_ “The charming prince is much more entertaining than you, I must admit,” _ the voice said, and it almost sounded somber.

“Charming...prince?” Teba grimaced. 

_ “Nevermind,”  _ the voice shook off,  _ “But as I was saying...what  _ are _ you doing here?” _

“I--” Teba looked around. He had to be dreaming, “I’m going back inside.”

_ “Noooo, wait--” _ the voice pleaded, and for some reason Teba had the audacity to pause and hear it out,  _ “I just want to talk. Well, I also want to fling you into an alternate dimension to save the Champions and stop the Calamity, but I mainly just want to talk!” _

“You--you what?” Teba grunted. “What alternate dimension?”

The voice chuckled, and as if on cue, the guardian’s eye began to glow. It shed a sudden, blinding light in Teba’s direction, causing him to flinch. Before Teba realized that he had shielded his eyes, he peered cautiously past his outstretched arm, but the vision before him was frankly, bizarre. 

He felt like he was looking down from a high point in the sky, even though he knew he was on solid ground. Even more startling, he was looking down at a series of explosions happening on Vah Medoh. Just above the explosions, he saw a Rito darting and trying to dodge, and for a moment, Teba couldn’t believe his eyes, “Is that...Master Revali?”

_ “Your grandfather? Yes it is,” _ the voice whispered. Teba was definitely dreaming.  _ “How do you feel about saving his life?” _

“I--I’m dreaming,” Teba rubbed at his eyes.

_ “You keep thinking that and yet I’ve watched you pinch yourself five times in the last minute,” _ the voice observed.

“This still can’t be right,” Teba reared, and for some reason he couldn’t stop himself from grabbing his bow and quiver propped up against the doorway, “I’m seeing things, that’s not--”

_ “Oh, it’s possible, Teba,” _ the voice hummed,  _ “In fact, your fellow Zora Champion is already on his way to save his sister. So what do you say? Want to save the world?” _

“By...altering time?” Teba balked. “But why?”

_ “Why?!” _ the voice seemed almost surprised by the question,  _ “Are you not the son of Reba Wilde, the greatest warrior of her time? Are you not the son of Taluk, the man who gave his life to protect the village from Vah Medoh’s uprising? Are you not the archer, Teba, who spends his days lamenting the lives his mother has lost?” _

“Well--yeah,” Teba scratched at his head, and for some idiodic reason, he couldn’t quite justify making the leap of faith a disembodied voice was proposing to him, “But I can’t leave my son unattended.”

_ “You--” _ the voice grunted, sounding almost astounded,  _ “You’re serious?” _

“Well--yeah,” Teba blinked, staring at the image of Master Revali flying and dodging and failing to dodge several attacks from a bizarre looking monster. “But I had to really make a case to both my wife and my mother to let me bring Tulin with on this trip--he’s so small, you see--and if I leave him unattended--what if something happened?”

_ “You’ll be back before he wakes,” _ the voice stated indignantly. If it had a body, Teba wondered if it would roll its eyes,  _ “Also--Teba, for the love of Myself, I’m telling you that you have an opportunity to not only save your grandfathers’ lives, but prevent your father’s death!” _

“And that sounds great and all, but I don’t believe in time travel,” Teba gestured to the portal, “This doesn’t sound right to me and unless you can guarantee that I come back with a signed autograph from Revali himself, then I’m not going!”

_ “You--Teba, he’s your grandfather.” _

“I never met him,” Teba shrugged.

_ “You’ve always wanted to meet him!” _

“That is true,” Teba nodded. 

_ “This is literally your chance to do so.” _

“Yeah,” Teba tipped his head to the side, “But Tulin is arguably a bigger fan than I am.”

_ “He--” _ the voice was at a loss for words. Which was strange, because it was a voice.  _ “You have the chance of a lifetime to finally meet Master Revali, and then come back to tell your own son that you met him! And you’re contemplating passing that up?” _

At that, Teba straightened a little bit, “...I can tell Tulin about it?”

_ “Yes.” _

“He’d...he’d think that was cool, right?” 

_ “Teba, your son would think you were the greatest man to ever walk this earth if you came back and told him you met Revali.” _

Teba slung his bow over his shoulder, looking intently at the now badly beaten Revali in front of him. Bobbing his head, Teba shrugged, “Then why the hell didn’t you lead with that?”

_ “You’ve got to be joking me,” _ the voice droned,  _ “Of all the opportunities to make your mother’s life better, and it’s your son’s idolization that does it for you!?” _

“Hey, my Mom makes the best of everything and the only thing she wants me to do is avoid making things  _ worse,” _ Teba scolded the voice, “The chance to turn it all back comes with a lot of risk for fuck-ups. But the chance to look  _ cool _ to Tulin?”

_ “Comes with just as much risk!” _

“It gives me more wiggle room to fuck up!” Teba bit back, then drew his bow as he leapt through the portal, falling a few feet before his wings caught the wind. 

As Teba took fire at the Wind Blight attacking Revali, he heard the voice in his head sigh,  _ “Ohhhh, if only Prince Sidon could take a page out of your simple-minded book…” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love how we go from Sidon, who is peak Avoidance Issues because this man got sad so he noped himself into a different dimension to avoid conflict. And now we have Teba, the impulsive dumbass who wasn't going to run away from responsibilities because he has One Job and that job is "Keep Mom Happy", but he also isn't gonna pass up an opportunity to be a Cool Dad (tm). 
> 
> I love that for him. Also I should've been productive today, but oh well. Perhaps an FGA update later?


	17. Let's Do the Time Warp (Again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riju and Yunobo travel to the past and join the others. Faro hitchhikes and (literally) falls in love. Sidon is confronted with both his past and future. Best friends reunite. Teba's offended. A lot happens periodt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOOOOOO BOY Y'ALL I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS CHAPTER! 
> 
> So! A couple of disclaimers:
> 
> 1) If you know nothing about Age of Calamity, this fic isn't gonna make as much sense and the best I can explain is Zelda Time Travel Tropes. 
> 
> 2) If this fic is STILL confusing you after this chapter......they're in the Age of Calamity timeline and I'm following the pacing of the game. So. Spoilers for that. 
> 
> (I'll have more notes on what's going on in the end)

“I’m not sure what to do, Faro,” Riju admitted with a huff. As she collapsed into Patricia’s fur, the bags under her eyes became just a little more prominent. Faro frowned, wishing there was something he could do to take this weight off her shoulders. She had been so excited to come to the Domain, so excited to bring the news she had to share and all she had learned as a young leader and a Champion of Vah Naboris. But it seemed like she had been hitting roadblock after roadblock, and adults who were either her advisors or of other nations kept shutting down any advancement or suggestion she tried to make. He hated it. He hated the way everyone seemed to put her down simply because of her youth when they didn’t even bother to travel to the desert and see what a fine Chief she was! 

He especially didn’t like the way the Zora seemed to shoot everyone’s ideas down...at least according to Riju. The High Priestesses always did turn their noses up at the Zora. His Auntie once said that their longevity granted them wisdom to a fault. With how much pushback Riju seemed to be getting simply by breathing, he was starting to understand what she meant. 

“Well,” Faro flopped down next to her. He wasn’t sure what to do at this point. He also...had to admit that he was still shaken up from that Sheikah earlier that day. Riju mentioned she wanted to go exploring after her meetings, but now he was hoping she was too drained for that. She’d had a hard enough day as is, what was the use in freaking her out over some creep? “Maybe you could speak with Princess Zelda? She’s not much older than us, plus she was friends with Lady Urbosa. Perhaps--”

“Faro, they didn’t listen to her either!” Riju whined. 

“But,” Faro blinked several times, “She’s the heir to Hyrule. They have to listen to her.”

“Not yet, they don’t,” Riju curled her knees to her chest, “Not until she’s Queen. And with the way the meeting went, I don’t think she even  _ wants _ to be Queen.”

“Uhhhhh,” Faro felt his brow furrowing. Heir to Hyrule...didn’t want to be Queen? Well, why the hell not?! Hyrule was a fragmented mess run by a half-assed military and fatass diplomats of royal descent. No one there had legitimate claim to leadership aside from Princess Zelda and their ignorance was almost more dangerous than the previous Royal Family’s malintent! “I feel like that isn’t an option--”

“You and me both! But she can do whatever she wants!” Riju huffed again, throwing her hands in the air. “I just--I don’t know what to  _ do, _ Faro! Part of me just wishes that--ugh, nevermind.”

“Riju,” Faro leaned against her shoulder, “Talk to me. What do you wish for?”

“It’s stupid,” Riju grumbled, hugging her knees tighter as she looked away.

“Riiiiijuuuuuuu,” Faro grinned, leaning more heavily against her. “Riju, Riju, Riju, Riju--”

“Seven Heroines!” Riju finally snapped, “I wish I could ask my mom for help, alright?!”

Riju let out an exhausted snort and turned her head, but as tears began to twinkle in her eyes, Faro felt his heart drop. 

Oh.

“Oh,” Faro frowned, “Riju, I’m so sor--”

“I don’t want your pity,” Riju shook her head, “I just want my mom, which is stupid and impossible, I know. But it’s not like Lady Urbosa is any more alive for me to glean advice from!”

“True,” Faro deflated, looking down at the ground. He was willing to leave the discussion there, take a pause to gather his wits before he tried to distract her and embrace his fears of running into the strange Sheikah Prophet again, but the Gods apparently had a different plan for the duo on that evening. 

_ “I say, Chief Riju, if you wish to speak with Lady Urbosa, I can find a version of her that is very much alive!” _

Riju and Faro both jumped, looking up and around their room. “Did you hear that?!” Riju asked, sitting up on her knees. Even Patricia perked up a little. 

“I--” Faro looked around, then jumped when he discovered the little guardian -- the one Princess Minami had been playing with -- standing at his feet. “Was that you?!” 

The guardian looked up at him and chirped, bouncing its whole body as it did so. But it said little more. 

But then, Faro heard a sinister chuckle whispering in his ear. 

_ “A good guess, young prophet, but this guardian is acting as one of my...helpers.” _

“Then--” Faro looked around. What the  _ fuck?! _ “Who are you?”

_ “A spirit traveling between the minds of the Champions,”  _ the voice said,  _ “My name--well, I wish I could remember it. But that is not important. What is important is the Chief seems to have a lot weighing on her mind. A lot that she cannot handle on her own. She needs the help of someone else who has been in her shoes. Someone...like Urbosa.” _

“That’s a delightful thought, but Urbosa is dead,” Riju rose to her feet, “So please. Stop taunting me.”

The voice chuckled again, and then in a flash before their eyes, Faro witnessed a sight he could not quite believe.  _ “Want a bet?” _

“Riju--” Faro started, leaping up to his feet. A glowing light formed in front of them when suddenly, it felt as if time and space had opened up before the two of them. In front of that opening, Faro could clearly see the surface of Vah Naboris. But something was wrong. 

Something was very wrong because there was a horrible electrocuting beast flying after a tall -  _ gorgeous _ \- Gerudo woman wearing the Chief’s Adornments. 

Faro had to pause for a moment, and as he closed his eyes he dared to peer into the future. He didn’t like peering into his own future, but as he did he saw a glimpse of Riju standing there talking with the Gerudo woman. As he watched them, he could clearly see Riju call the woman’s name:

_ “Thank you, Urbosa!” _

“Riju,” Faro’s eyes snapped open, “You have to go.”

“W-what?!” Riju snapped, her head turning to face him, “Faro, that’s insane--”

“Not as insane as what I just saw,” Faro blinked, staring into the portal - it had to be a portal - with wide eyes. “Just--take Patricia and go. She needs help!”

“That’s--Faro, if that’s what I think it is I’ll be walking clear into the Calamity!” 

“Yep,” Faro nodded his head, and when he looked over at his friend and her sand seal, he realized she wasn’t going to move on her own accord. She needed to go...and honestly, Faro was kind of curious about the other side too. After all, he’d have to follow for his future to come true! So, Faro did what Faro did best, which was using Patricia’s food motivation to trigger Riju’s Patricia motivation. Scooping up one of Patricia’s favorite fish from a bowl by her flippers, Faro drew her attention, “Patriciaaaa!”

Patricia perked up, then made a grunting noise as soon as her eyes locked onto her favorite snack. Riju paled suddenly, and tried to get in between Faro and her favorite sand seal, “Faro, don’t!”

“FETCH, GIRL!” Faro cheered, chucking the fish through the portal. Patricia went  _ flying _ through in delight, causing Riju to scream in a panic. 

“PATRICIA, NO!” Riju howled, turned back to Faro, then screamed, “You’re  _ dead _ to me!” 

“Just go get her and save Urbosa, bitch!” Faro waved her off, “Go!”

Riju scowled at Faro, but drew her scimitar nonetheless as she jumped through. Then, because Faro was a curious slut, he was quick to draw his own weapons and sprint after. 

_ “No--wait--” _ the voice tried to stop him, but as Faro passed through, he heard the voice sigh heavily,  _ “This will be interesting.” _

“What--?” Faro started to ask, but when he passed through, Naboris moved. Instead of landing directly on the platform like Riju had, Naboris shifted its stance and a gust of desert wind blew powerfully against him. 

Shielding his eyes, Faro tried to grab onto the edge of the platform before he fell completely. He could have made it -- pulled himself up -- but Naboris started  _ writhing _ and Faro couldn’t hold on. He slipped, falling, and as he let out a shrill cry for help, Faro began to wonder if his screams would be the last thing he heard. 

“WATCH OUT!” a bell-like voice called out for him, and before Faro knew what was happening he felt sharp talons dig into his shoulders. Faro howled in pain, but his descent began to slow. With what he thought was a gust of wind blowing him further away from the Divine Beast, Faro slowly registered that a Rito’s powerful wings were carrying him to safety. The talons released Faro of their grasp and he landed gently on the sand with a hiss. 

“Owwww!” Faro whined, clutching at his shoulders as the Rito who saved him darted carefully overhead to land across from him. “Be more careful next time--”

Faro paused when he looked up, and the  _ darling _ bluebird landing delicately before his eyes outstretched her wings with utmost grace. She knelt down in front of him with sparkling aqua eyes and Faro was suddenly in  _ heaven. _ “Goodness, I’m so sorry! I just saw you falling and I didn’t have time to--I didn’t mean to hurt you!” 

“Th-that’s alright,” Faro blinked. Her royal blue feathers reached carefully out to him to address his fresh wounds, but distant sounds of explosions and shouts for help caused her to pause and look up. 

“We need to get you to an outpost,” the Rito woman insisted, pulling Faro to his feet. “There are medics there who can help you--this is very dangerous and until the Champions are in the clear, we have no means of freeing your home--”

“Yeah, so about that,” Faro felt his voice squeaking like a wheel, so he cleared his throat and tried to lower his voice to something more bearable, “What’s happening right now?”

“What--” the Rito slowed her run to a jog as she turned back with a perplexed expression, “Miss we’re in the middle of the Calamity--”

“Miss?!” Faro felt his voice crack again as he skidded to a halt. Was it the right thing to do when there was a massive bushfire five feet from where they currently were? Not particularly, but he needed to get this match made in heaven off on the right foot! Holding out his hand, Faro cleared his throat again and grinned, “Darling, don’t let the tits fool you. I’m actually a  _ very _ handsome man!” 

“O-okay, Sir,” the Rito held her wings up with wide eyes. Oh, what an  _ angel. _ Had he seen her somewhere before? He could’ve sworn he had seen her somewhere before. Did he see her in his future? Oh, he hoped so but he didn’t want to spoil anything! “Look, we need to go--”

“But I never even got your name,” Faro gently took her wing, fully intending to kiss the top of her feathery hand before a guardian shooting ice pellets crashed on top of them. “My name is Faro, darling--FUCK WHAT IS THAT!?”

“I TOLD YOU?!” the Rito shrieked, flapping out of the way while Faro tucked and rolled. Unfortunately...he ended up rolling  _ under _ the guardian. Falling onto his back, he felt his heart stop when he looked up and saw the bottom of the guardian stomping above him like it was searching for him. 

Please don’t sit, please don’t sit, please don’t sit--

“FARO!” The darling angel called out to him, “STAB IT WITH YOUR SWORD!” 

“H-HOW?!” Faro screamed back.

“THE UNDERBELLY’S WEAK!”

“IT’S A  _ MACHINE!” _ Faro roared back. What belly?! These things had digestive tracts?! What the  _ fuck!? _

“STAB!” the darling angel shouted again. Faro felt his blood running cold as he tried and failed to grab his scimitar out from under him. He was just scared shitless and he needed a damsel in distress to save his stupid ass. 

Thankfully, the damsel was distressed enough to unleash an  _ unbelievable _ gust of wind that knocked the guardian on its side - it even lost a leg! The tornado that passed over him radiated unlike anything he had ever seen before. It left his fingertips tingling in the same way that Mom’s thunder spells invigorated him. He felt a spark (and not just of love and attraction) ignite within his chest as he sat up. As he looked over at the mighty woman drawing her bow with a bomb arrow, he smiled to himself. 

Huh. The angel was a Sage. 

“Faro!” the woman barked, her gaze narrowing with determination, “Duck  _ out of the way!” _

“Oh--sorry,” Faro grunted, then rolled out of the way so she could fire. The sheer  _ power _ of the explosion - amplified by the heat of the desert - left Faro amazed, singed at the hair, and horny. 

He didn’t care where or when he was, this woman was his guardian angel. 

Oh, if only Faro had peered into his own future to realize just how right he was. 

When the woman landed gracefully on the sand, she turned back to him with heated crystal eyes. He didn’t care that the twinkle was sparked by pure frustration, her eyes sparkled like little aquamarine gemstones that complimented her deep sapphire feathers so effortlessly. 

“Yeah so--” Faro felt his mouth hanging open with a stupidly lustful smile, “What’s your name again?”

“Reba,” the beautiful, astonishing, dazzling, Warrior Angel named Reba answered. “You’re a time traveler, aren’t you.”

“Ah--” Faro wheezed for a moment. She was smart too!? She was  _ perfect! _ “How did you know?”

“Weird portal, you have no idea how to fight these things -- well, nobody did before today, but you’re especially bad -- and I have never  _ ever _ seen a Gerudo with blue hair so I can only guess that you have that hair dye thing my sister mentioned,” Reba shook her head. 

“Why yes!” Faro shot back up to his feet, finally drawing his scimitar. This did look like a rather intense battlefield, after all. “Blue is my favorite color! Especially--my, your feathers are just  _ stunning--” _

“Can we go now?” Reba finally interjected, looking strained, “I might be watching my parents die again today and I’d rather you not interfere with...the everything that’s happening.”

“O-oh,” Faro deflated a little bit as she shot him down harder than Buliara did when he was trying to dodge her electric arrows in Warrior Training. “Yeah--sorry--”

“It’s--I’m sorry, I’m not normally like this,” Reba huffed, closing her eyes tightly. “It’s just been a long time since the Calamity happened for me and now it’s back. So let’s just--let’s just get you to somebody who can help with those wounds.”

Faro pouted a little as she took his hand and led him further down the carved out path towards the nearest outpost. They ran up an incline until they reached a spot where Reba could take off, then Reba had Faro hop onto her back so she could fly them both. He wanted to just swoon and compliment her strength - after all, he loved women who could just step on him - but he paused before he could ruin his chances and her trust in him. 

“So...you said you’ve seen the Calamity before?” Faro asked. 

“I--yes,” Reba sighed, zipping carefully through the air. It amazed Faro how easily she could clear out of the line of fire with him on her back. She must’ve been used to carrying people. “I’m a time traveler too. For me, the Calamity happened when I was a little girl and both my parents died in battle….well. Sort of. But that was eleven years ago.”

“Really?” Faro frowned, any hopes and dreams of romance dashing away suddenly. “Odd….the Calamity was over a century ago for me.”

Reba looked up at Faro slightly, her brow furrowing a little, “Who brought you here?”

“What?” Faro grunted, having to sling his arms around her neck as she landed in front of the outpost.

“My--my sister--and I guess my niece?--are both from one hundred and fifty years after the Calamity,” Reba explained, and before Faro could sharply inhale and ask how in the  _ hell _ she could have a sister with such an age difference, she sighed and explained, “My father--after he died, he was placed in the Shrine of Resurrection. My sister said he was in a coma for a century. When he woke up, he started his life over and ended up with a second family.”

“A second--” Faro squinted his eyes a little, “Wait a moment: is your father by chance a Hylian named Link? The Champion, Link?”

Reba froze, her head whipping around suddenly, “You know my Papa?!” 

“I know  _ of _ him,” Faro shrugged, “Everyone does--so, does that mean Minami’s here?”

“You know Nami!?” Reba leaned forward, “What is she like?”

“Small and chaotic,” Faro blinked, growing more confused by the second, “Is that--is she not the sister you mentioned?”

“No,” Reba shook her head, “Junior is much younger than her other siblings. She said it was a long story but--”

“I’m sorry, how in the  _ hell _ did Prince Sidon and  _ Link _ procreate?” Faro asked, but Reba’s beak fell open suddenly. “...what?”

“Papa  _ boned _ Sidon!?” Reba grabbed Faro by the shoulders suddenly, “I fucking  _ called it!” _

* * *

Yunobo sighed heavily to himself, staring down at his rockroast. 

He felt awful after Nami lost her teeth the other night, and he desperately wanted to make it up to her, but Link said no more rockroasting competitions. Which wasn’t fair - he found a softer roast for her and everything! Surely it was safe for little Zora teeth! 

In the time it took for Yunobo to find a softened rock in the lakebed and cook it to perfection, the sun had already set and the Domain had turned in for the evening. The Zora certainly had earlier bedtimes than Gorons did, maybe that was what made them live for so long? 

“Link did say his boyfriend was alive when the Calamity struck,” Yunobo sighed to himself, “I wonder if he ever met Master Daruk. Did Master Daruk ever try to feed him delicious prime rockroasts when he was a pebble?”

_ “You could always find out for yourself!” _ a mysterious voice called out from behind. Yunobo jumped, almost dropping his food as he spun around. He almost screamed and ran away, but he had been working on being braver. Champions were brave and Yunobo didn’t want to let his new comrades down! 

Still, that didn’t keep Yunobo from yelling out, “Wah! Who said that?! What do you want?”

_ “I’m a bodiless voice, Yunobo, but I have a task for you: do you think you can help your new comrades in saving Daruk?” _

“Daruk?” Yunobo gulped. Beside him, he heard a little beep and Yunobo was surprised when he looked down and found Nami’s friend, Terrako, staring up at him. It’s eye glowed a bright blue, and before Yunobo could question anymore he saw a glowing light in front of him. “But he died a hundred years ago.”

_ “He did in your timeline, but you could save him in another,” _ the voice whispered,  _ “And ask him how to cook a rockroast for non-goron teeth.” _

“Well, you don’t gotta sell me on that, you just suggested saving Daruk!” Yunobo grinned, and he didn’t have to think too far beyond that to jump into the portal and save the Goron slumped over on Vah Rudania. 

* * *

Driving away the Waterblight felt almost impossible, but nothing braced Sidon for the simultaneous relief and  _ dread _ that pierced through him when familiar battle cries drove the monster into the ground once and for all. 

“Oh--” Sidon gasped in relief, his knees nearly buckling from the exhaustion of the sudden battle. “LINK!” 

Link turned, his brow furrowed from the heat of battle. Beside him, his sister let out a relieved cry and ran up to Link. Throwing her arms around Link she spun the beautiful man around with a squeal, and for a moment Sidon laughed through his tears. 

His sister…she was alive! 

She--she survived! 

She was  _ here! _

“Mipha, thank goodness, you’re safe,” Sidon pulled himself back up to his feet, “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you had died a second time--”

“Woah,” Link grunted suddenly, releasing Mipha of the hug. Sidon paused for a moment, looking down at him with a frown. For a second, stupid moment, he wondered why they weren’t running into each other’s embrace. But then Sidon felt his heart  _ shatter _ into pieces when Link looked from Sidon to Mipha and signed, “Mipha, who’s this?”

“Oh--” Mipha lurched forward, clutching her own trident, “Link, this is  _ Sidon.” _

“What--” Link grunted, looking up at Sidon in awe. “Y-y’re tall.”

“I--” Sidon paused, and as Link knocked the wind out of him, Sidon had to slide back onto his knees. “Yes, I did hit a growth spurt in my twenties.”

Link frowned at Sidon, then looked to Mipha before turning back to him again, “You’re...a time traveler?”

Sidon nodded numbly, watching as Link acknowledged his answer but then immediately defaulted back to Mipha like he did when he was shy around strangers. Honestly, it took everything in Sidon to keep from bursting into tears in front of them both. 

Yes, he saved his sister. But now Link had no idea who he was. 

This wasn’t--this wasn’t  _ his _ Link. And while Sidon knew deep down when he jumped through the portal that this would be the result of his actions….he still didn’t realize he would be confronted with this cold truth so directly. 

What had he done? 

“Sidon?” Mipha called his name, pulling him out of his trance. When he looked up, he realized both of them were now staring at him with worried, glittering eyes. Well...perhaps this Link wasn’t entirely unfamiliar. “What’s wrong?”

“Um,” Sidon bit his lip, feeling like a hatchling again when he looked down, “I just am realizing everything that’s happened in the last thirty minutes.”

“Like...jumping through some time portal to fight whatever the hell that thing was?” Link signed indignantly, causing Sidon to fight the everloving urge to hug this stupidly handsome man in his grief. 

“Yeah, that’s part of it,” Sidon frowned, “But please--don’t mind me, we have a Calamity to defeat.”

“Yes--” Mipha nodded, pushing herself towards the main console inside Vah Ruta, “I couldn’t have been the only one trapped, where are the others--?”

“We’re heading for Daruk next,” Link signed, “Assuming we aren’t too late. Impa’s team got a head start while I got up here.”

“Okay,” Mipha nodded, “I can help you, Link--”

“Mipha,” Sidon sighed, and he couldn’t help but notice that he was hissing in the same worried tone he always gave Nami. It was hard to ignore the weight on his chest as he wondered if he’d ever get to rock that little girl to sleep again. “Please rest, I can go.”

“What?” Mipha looked up at Sidon with a frown, “But Sidon--”

“I’m not the hatchling you know, Sis,” Sidon chuckled, only because the alternative would have absolutely been crying. “You need to heal your injuries and I know too well how much your Magic takes out of you.”

Mipha gazed up at Sidon with a quizzical stare, but didn’t fight him too hard on the matter. So she let him go, tried to show Sidon and Link the best way to the platform on Ruta’s side that Sidon already knew. He let her show them the way, at least. But that ride down the platform, Sidon couldn’t bring himself to look Link in the eye. 

Still, Link always had a way of capturing Sidon’s attention. “So,” Link grunted out loud, stealing Sidon’s focus so he could bashfully sign, “You’re...Mipha’s brother.”

“Yes,” Sidon nodded. 

“Same brother I punked last week when I threw a snowball at his head?” Link signed. 

“If you mean the time you snuck up on me and dropped the bottom half of a snowman on me,” Sidon felt his eyes rolling upwards as he grasped for the age old memory. Funny, he had all but forgotten that day and yet he could still hear Reba’s panicked chirps as she scolded him. Biting back a snicker, he grinned, “Then yes.”

“And,” Link grunted out loud, pulling Sidon back in and now for some reason Link’s cheeks were  _ bright _ pink, “You’re grown up.”

“By a hundred years, in fact!” Sidon crossed his arms, trying  _ so hard  _ not to get his hopes up. Was this happening? Was Link really getting bashful and blushy around him? Was this Link...could this Link still be his Link after all? 

“One hundred years,” Link squeaked, and Sidon couldn’t help but spit out a laugh. Link jumped at the sound, pouting, “Hey!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Sidon couldn’t keep the laughter or the tears from falling, “I just--Link, you don’t change!”

Link frowned at that, “...I don’t?”

“No, Love!” Sidon wheezed, not realizing his slip, “Hylia, I swear we could be in a timeline where the Calamity doesn’t even exist and you’d still have that same--uhhhhhhhh--”

Sidon paused when he looked up to see how Link’s face had gone from bright pink to paler than a sheet of paper. “Did you say ‘Love’?”

“That’s...a long story,” Sidon croaked. 

“I’m married,” Link signed frantically. 

Sidon swallowed a lump in his throat, “Y-yeah.”

“I’m older than you!” 

“You were in a coma for a hundred years,” Sidon blurted, covered his mouth, and before he could do any damage control, they had a gaggle of Zora rushing up to them both. 

“LINK!” a familiar voice cried out, “Where the  _ hell _ is Mipha!?” 

Sidon really wasn’t adjusting well to the new setting, because without a second glance at the black scales and snarky glare, he was already groaning, “For heaven’s sake, Bazz! She’s fine!” 

“I’m sorry, who--?” Bazz started, stopped, and as Sidon was processing how  _ young _ and  _ rejuvenated _ Bazz looked, his age old friend was gasping and growing his first set of eyebags. 

“P-Prince Sidon?” Bazz gasped, “You--why do you look like the Prince!?”

“Because I am?” Sidon placed his hands on his hips, “Look--all I know is some weird voice was harassing me, I looked over, my sister was in danger, and in a moment with no impulse control I jumped through to try and save her!” 

Bazz blinked several times in a failed attempt to form words, turned his attention to Gaddison who looked just as astounded, then looked back up to Sidon and blurted for - probably the first time in his life but definitely not the last: “What the  _ fuck, _ Sidon!?”

“I know!” Sidon threw his hands in the air, “I’m starting to have timeline-altering regrets, but at least my sister is  _ alive!” _

Bazz scowled up at Sidon with a white hot rage he had yet to control, and in his blinding fury yelled, “Well I should fucking hope so, we have a  _ date _ tomorrow!”

For the second time that day (evening? When did Sidon sleep last, again?), Sidon’s mind came to a screeching halt. 

They...had a date? 

“As in a date date?” Sidon asked with a frown. 

“Yes,” Bazz crossed his arms with a huff. 

“A romantic one?”

_ “Yes,” _ Bazz growled, his cheeks flushing, but that only made Sidon feel worse. 

Bazz had--Bazz had feelings for Mipha? 

As Sidon felt the air rush out of his gills once more, he couldn’t help but think back to the spare handful of times he had ever seen Bazz - his Bazz - start to crack. 

_ “I hate him!” Sidon cried out, kicking at the ground in frustration, “All Dad ever does is work, and he never has time for me!”  _

_ “He’s trying his best, Little Dude,” Bazz followed closely behind him, “Also--hey, Sidon, don’t get too close to that ledge--” _

_ “WHY DO YOU CARE?!” Sidon erupted suddenly, tears spilling out of his eyes. “You’re not my dad!” _

_ Bazz’s frown deepened a little more, “Well--no--” _

_ “And you’re not my mom!” Sidon felt a heated growl escape his throat, “And you’re not my SISTER--!” _

_ “HEY!” Bazz fell to his knees suddenly, pulling Sidon into a hug. Sidon fought his grasp, but then he heard Bazz made a strange noise. If he didn’t know any better, Sidon would’ve thought Bazz was crying. But Bazz didn’t cry. “Kid, just--just stop.” _

_ “But--” _

_ “I know you lost everything,” Bazz held Sidon tighter, “But you’re all I have left.” _

_ Sidon didn’t quite know what Bazz meant, but that was the first time anything an adult said ever truly resonated. Sidon could feel Bazz’s pain, and it hurt. But for once, he wasn’t hurting by himself.  _

“Bazz, just go check on her!” Gaddison was yelling, and Link practically shoved Sidon off the platform so Gadd could shove Bazz on. Sidon watched, numb, as Bazz bitched his way up Vah Ruta while Gadd practically drug him to Mipha by the tail. Sidon watched as the two disappeared, and he wanted so desperately to kick himself.

Why didn’t he know?

Why didn’t Bazz tell him? 

Had Bazz told him? Had he just been too stubborn to listen? Sure, Bazz had chronic issues of bottling everything up and telling no one, but there was no way he just  _ kept _ this from Sidon...was there? 

“S-Sidon?” Link stuttered in a low voice, causing Sidon to jump. As he looked down, he was met with those familiar yet distant blue eyes. “You okay?”

“Why--yes, Link, I’m sorry. Let’s go save the others,” Sidon shook his head, and he tried to march forward with a smile. “We have a day to win, after all!” 

“True--” Link grunted, and miraculously, he ran up to match Sidon’s pace, and he was  _ speaking _ when he offered, “But why don’t we meet up with the others first.”

“I thought you said Impa’s team went ahead?” Sidon asked. 

“They did,” Link scratched the back of his head, “But we have some healing tonics at the outpost to freshen up and regroup. Besides, we’ve got more time travelers I think you should meet.”

“Oh--” Sidon frowned. There were others? Why? Who in their right mind was dumb enough to travel to this hellscape? “Okay.”

They hurried to the outpost as quickly as possible, and when they reached it, they were greeted by a rather tall Sheikah warrior. 

The woman jumped down from her lookout, then almost immediately sprung up to her feet to eye Sidon with a curious gaze. 

“Well, okay,” the woman grunted, “Um...WOW, hi, this just got more complicated.”

“H-hello?” Sidon leaned back a little, “I--I take it you’re the fellow time traveler my--er--Link mentioned?”

“Mmhmm,” the woman nodded, “I don’t even know if I can introduce myself.”

Sidon felt his head starting to hurt, “I’m...sorry?”

“It’s okay, it’s my own fault,” the woman shook her head, “Anyway, I’m R--errrr, I’m  _ Nay-nay.” _

As she held her hand out, she wore the  _ stupidest _ little smile and there was just something primal within Sidon that made him want to wash her mouth out with soap for such a bad lie. It’s like she wanted to get caught, her effort was so low and that was what pissed Sidon off the most. Crossing his arms, he grunted, “Yeah, that’s not what your name is.”

“Sure it is!” this  _ Nay-nay _ rose on her toes and it started to dawn on Sidon that she was just  _ too tall _ for a Hylian. Not that her height was a bad thing but--for heaven’s sake, she had to have been over six feet tall! Her height was comparable to his! “It’s the name my father gave me!” 

“And what name did your father give you?”

“Nayru--! FUCK!” Nayru screamed out as she stomped her foot on the ground and spun around in a fit. Sidon observed her for a moment, wondered what poor sap dropped this girl on her head, and took a deep breath. 

“I’ve never met you before,” Sidon observed, “Does your...vile nickname mean I will meet you?”

“It’s something like that!” Nayru threw her hands in the air. 

“Well,” Sidon blinked, “I suppose I don’t have to introduce myself, but I’m Prince Sidon--”

_ “Prince,” _ Nayru pulled on the bottoms of her eyelids, “Oh wow, okay. WELL--since I already fucked it up, please for the love of all that is good just call me Ru.”

“Oh...well, alright,” Sidon reared a little. Well, that was a significantly better nickname than  _ Nay-Nay _ . 

Link let out a strangled noise, rolling his eyes as if he had grown tired of Ru’s banter and he marched forward into the outpost. Ru’s gaze followed Link for a moment, but she turned back to Sidon with a smile and ushered him in. Sidon couldn’t help but follow her in. As he did, he tried to ignore the startled gasps from the Zora bustling around the outpost, so he kept his gaze focused on the two Hylians ahead of him. 

As he watched them...well, Sidon couldn’t quite unsee just now... _ identical _ their walking gates were. Why, if it weren’t for the height and hair differences, Sidon would’ve thought the two looked the same from behind. Sidon squinted a little at Ru, and his gaze fell to the cut-out panels in her armor. For a moment, he felt it was rather impractical to leave her sides exposed, but then he noticed faint lines marking her skin. Faint lines that reminded Sidon of his own gills. 

Sidon frowned. 

Well, now how was  _ that _ possible? 

Well, he supposed crazier things had happened in the last hour. He wasn’t going to question it. 

“Okay, so if you need healing tonics, they’re over here…” Ru said chipperly, pointing towards a chest that a small blush colored Zora was sitting on. Ru stared at the Zora girl and frowned, “...assuming Junior gets off of it.”

“Hey now,” the girl - Junior? - questioned, “Y’all didn’t give me a job to do while we waited for the old coot to get back.”

Ru’s smile fell into a blank stare, “W-we did.”

Even Link frowned, giving Junior the same annoyed stare he gave Sidon when Sidon wasn’t paying attention to directions. “You were supposed to sharpen the weapons.”

“Oh,” Junior grunted, her tail wagging slightly. This girl was a shark zora? “Well, I did all that!” 

“Junior--” Ru started, but Junior apparently wasn’t having it. 

“I’m sorry, Miss ‘I’m gonna simmer on a tree branch over my not-boyfriend’--” Junior snarked, hopping on top of the chest and dropping down into a frog-pose as she did so. She paused, however, when her gaze fell to Sidon. She gave a snort, scrunching her snout in almost a painfully familiar manner. It scrunched and circled around like a little rabbit’s nose and the only other person Sidon had ever seen do that before was Vali. But then her contemplative stare dropped into a scowl, “Who’s the fathead?”

“Hylia,” Ru’s head fell into her hand and Sidon didn’t need to know who the girl was to feel his eyes rolling into the back of his head. 

“I’m Prince Sidon of the Zora,” Sidon found the audacity to introduce, holding out his hand and forcing a smile, “I’m either the adult version of the prince you already know or - based on how my introductions with your friend went - I will meet you sometime in the future.”

“Prince,” Junior grunted, standing up from her frog squat. Even standing on the chest, she didn’t even breach Sidon’s shoulders. Hopping down, Junior placed her hands on her hips and cringed, “Fucking Goddess Above, you’re a baby.” 

“I beg your pardon?” Sidon gasped. A baby? A  _ baby!? _ Well how old was he in her timeline that she thought a century-old Zora was a  _ baby!? _

_ “Please _ ignore her!” Ru finally threw her hands up, “She’s just being a goblin to repress any and all emotion. Now can we go save the Goron Champion?”

“Thank you,” Link grunted dryly, barrelling through Junior - who scampered directly into Sidon with a stubborn yelp - to reach into the chest of healing tonics. He pulled one out and tossed it Sidon’s direction before taking one for himself. 

“I mean I was having a grand old time sitting on my ass--” Junior rolled her eyes, paused to look up to Sidon, and apparently his resting facial expression was bitchy enough to get her to close her mouth, “I’ll stop.”

* * *

As Teba fired the last of his bomb arrows, he started to wonder how much longer he could last. Was jumping through a weird portal to save Master Revali and look cool for Tulin really his best of ideas? No. But could Harth yell at him for being an impulsive idiot? Not if he died! 

Thankfully (or unfortunately) for Teba, a familiar flash of blond came rushing in to back them both up. For a moment, though, when Teba looked up at Link charging the Windblight, he was filled with nothing but anger. 

Mom and Prince Sidon had been right. 

Link  _ was _ the Champion. 

But then the battle passed - and somehow, they won the day. And as Teba rose up to his feet, square his shoulders against a version of Link that didn’t even know him, and demand  _ answers _ for how he could heartlessly leave Teba’s own mother orphaned, Revali collapsed. 

Teba watched as Link jumped, panic flooding his bright blue eyes, and for the first time since meeting him Teba watched Link completely lose his composure. 

“REVI!” Link cried out, sprinting forward and skidding to his knees, “Oh no, Babe--Revali, talk to me--”

“You’re so fucking loud,” Revali grumbled weakly. In spite of his bravado, he cried out in pain as Link helped him sit back up. “WAIT--wait--”

“Shit,” Link cussed, “Revi, you’re hurt bad--”

“Well, quit being a baby and go help the others,” Revali snarked, “If I’m in this bad a shape, I can’t imagine--”

“Yeah,” Link winced suddenly, “About that--we--saved everyone else already.”

Teba was amazed at how quickly Revali’s expression could change. What was once a heroic stance of concern suddenly turned into pitifully angry squawks, “THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU SAVE ME FOR LAST?!”

“You were the furthest away!” Link defended, tears spilling out of his eyes. 

“I AM YOUR HUSBAND!” 

“AND I WAS FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!” 

“ALL THE MORE REASON TO SAVE MY ASS FIRST!” 

“I don’t mean to interject,” Teba stepped in suddenly, “But--you said the others are safe, right?”

“Yeah?” Link grunted, looking up at Teba. Then he paused, frowned, and signed, “Who are you?”

“I dunno,” Revali barked, “Some jackass that tried to show me up when he flew in out of nowhere--”

“Some--!” Teba squawked, and damn if he wasn’t a hardened warrior he might’ve cried from the comment. “With all due respect, Master Revali, I am your  _ grandson!” _

“My,” Revali’s head moved on a swivel, and the only thing that kept him from storming into Teba’s face was the fact that Link had to hold him on his feet, “WHO FUCKED MY DAUGHTER!?” 

“My--dad?” Teba chirped nervously. Was Revali capable of murdering a child? Would he stoop that low? Odd, Mom only ever spoke of Revali being kind and gentle and now Teba was debating if his grandfather was going to commit infanticide in hopes of preventing Teba’s conception. 

_ Wow, _ Mom’s sense of character was not what Teba thought it was. 

“Revi, the guy’s another time traveler,” Link rolled his eyes, “Just--don’t kill the future father of our grandson?”

“WHY NOT?!”

“Because you’re gonna feel like an ass if you do and probably be put on trial for  _ murder _ before you regret doing it!” 

“Only if I get caught--!”

“Do you have some kind of mallet to knock him out?” Link asked Teba suddenly, “I know it’s not healthy to concuss your own partner but--you see what I’m dealing with.”

“I--yeah, I kind of wish I had a hammer and I never thought I’d say that,” Teba gasped with wide eyes. 

_ “Wow, _ shitting on the cripple,” Revali spat. “My family is  _ sooooo _ caring.”

“At least you have a family,” Link spat. 

“That’s a low blow--”

“Is it always like this between you two?” Teba snapped, decidedly taking control of Vah Medoh and lowering it to the ground. 

“No,” Link defended, making a strangled noise. 

“When I’m petty,” Revali grunted, wincing a little at the landing. “EASY! Medoh’s a sensitive bird.”

“Not anymore sensitive than you,” Link grumbled. Teba could only roll his eyes. As they stepped out of Medoh, Revali almost collapsed going down the ramp. Link’s annoyed front shattered as soon as Revali cried out in pain, but to Teba’s amazement there were Zora there ready to tend to him. 

A small red Zora rushed forward, and without a word she cast a spell that reminded Teba so wholeheartedly of little Minami. 

“Healing magic,” Teba gasped, “Are you Princess Mipha?”

The Zora looked up, then nodded before turning her attention back to Revali’s injuries. Teba thought he’d seen enough surprises that day, but three familiar faces caught his attention and made him wonder if he was about to lay a golden egg. 

“Teba?” Prince Sidon gasped, taking a step forward. He looked just as worn from the day as he braced against his trident. “Are you--this is going to be strange, but what is the last thing you remember before coming here?”

“You. Being an ass in an international meeting?” Teba grunted before he realized what he said. Then he bit his tongue and felt his feathers ruffle. Mom would be scrubbing his mouth out if she heard him speaking so poorly to a world leader! “I mean--!” 

Before Teba could recover, Prince Sidon deflated, “That...sounds about right. In my defense, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.”

“Now he admits it,” Chief Riju rolled her eyes as she crossed his arms. Yunobo side-stepped away from the two and Teba could only shake his head. 

“I missed something,” Teba observed. 

“Just fighting,” Yunobo hummed, eyeing the heated stare-down Sidon and Riju were giving each other, “And...fighting. Oh, and there’s more time travelers, but they aren’t from our time.”

Teba felt his beak falling open, and he wondered if it would ever close again. “Alright, do we at least know them?”

Yunobo opened his mouth to answer, but he paused when a gust of wind pressed down on everyone’s shoulders. Teba looked up with a start, having been familiar with that gust of wind but gone without feeling it against his feathers for decades. Swooping low before landing gracefully on her feet, Teba didn’t even try to pick his beak off the ground when the flash of blue feathers ruffled and Mom slung the pack off of her shoulders. 

“I brought the medical supplies!” she cried out, rushing up to Link, Revali, and Mipha, “How can I help?”

“Stop…” Revali winced, “Being an adult.”

Mom sat up a little straighter at that, and her brow furrowed, “Well, I’m sorry. I can’t exactly control that…”

“He’s being a baby,” Link corrected. “You’re fine.”

“What about this situation is fine,” Revali droned a little louder. 

“Hey, it’s okay!” Mom offered so sweetly, leaning forward to take Revali’s hand. Teba felt his heart tug a little - how long has it been since she could hold his hand? “When you go home after this, I’ll still be a little girl! And I don’t grow  _ that _ quickly--”

“STOP,” Revali stated loudly, his eyes flashing wide as everyone with medical supplies and ability hovered over him. “Stop making me feel--stop making me feel feelings!” 

Mom stared at Revali blankly for a moment, “....Granny hasn’t made you go through Big Feelings Time yet, has she…”

“Oh  _ Hylia,” _ Link spat, sticking out his tongue, and Teba felt a similar recoil pass through his entire being. 

“We are not doing that,” Teba spat, drawing Mom’s attention before he could shut his damn mouth. He paused when their eyes met, and Teba was  _ shell-shocked _ by how young she was. 

“You know Big Feelings Time?” she asked so sweetly, rising to her feet now that Revali was more stable (physically. Emotionally was a different story). Teba felt himself back bashfully away. 

“In...a way,” Teba scraped at the ground with his talons. “It’s...a long story.”

“You must be another time traveler!” Mom chirped, clapping her wings together, “Are you from Faro’s time? Or Ru and Junior’s?”

Teba felt his brow furrow, “Who?”

“They’re--” Mom started, but she got distracted by the…. _ wagging tail _ that Prince Sidon was displaying. “Sidon?”

“Reba!” Prince Sidon gasped, and for the first time since that morning (or the morning before? He didn’t know anymore), Teba saw the Zora Prince smile. No, he was  _ beaming _ as he rushed past Riju and Yunobo to greet Teba’s own mother. “Is that really you!? You’re so young!”

“You’re so  _ tall!” _ Reba cheered excitedly, giggling as Prince Sidon  _ scooped Teba’s mother into a bear hug. _

“Hey!” Teba lurched protectively forward, but paused in confusion as the two giggled and spun around each other. 

“Heavens, Reba! Of all the things to happen today, this is the best gift the Goddesses could grant me!” Prince Sidon cheered, pulling her into another, gentler hug. “I haven’t seen you in so long!”

“I saw you just last week!” Reba teased, “How far in the future are you from?”

“A hundred years,” Prince Sidon bounced giddily. 

“A hundred--” Reba sputtered, “You’re one hundred years old!” 

“And some change!” Prince Sidon puffed his chest out like a child as his tail wagged in delight and Teba was just glad he wasn’t the only one shocked by the scene. 

“You two know each other?” Teba gasped.

“Of course we do!” Prince Sidon responded, and for once he looked  _ genuinely happy _ as he held Reba tightly _. _ “She’s one of my very best friends!” 

“Except I must be  _ ancient _ in your time,” Reba giggled, looking up at Sidon. “I can’t believe how tall you are!” 

“I must’ve been a  _ shrimp _ where--or  _ when _ you’re from,” Prince Sidon grinned back down at her. Then, he paused and frowned, “Although...Reba, I’ll be honest I’m not quite sure how you’re doing in my time.”

“You don’t?” Reba frowned. 

“Well...a lot has happened with the Divine Beasts,” Prince Sidon explained, and for a moment, Teba felt his mind flashing back to his childhood on the fateful day Vah Medoh clipped his mother’s wings. 

_ “Teba,” Mom sat Teba down on his sixteenth birthday. With a bright twinkle in her eye, she asked, “Would you like to come to Zora’s Domain and meet my friends this year?” _

_ Teba gasped excitedly, crawling into his mother’s lap like he was still a child, “Do you really mean that, Mama?” _

Oh. 

Ohhhhhhhhh wow, Teba might’ve messed up. 

“You uh…” Teba sucked in a deep breath, “I don’t know how much I can say but--you broke your wing when I was a boy. It kept you from flying to see your friends, and--Hylia, Prince Sidon, you must’ve thought she’s been dead this whole time.”

“I--” Prince Sidon straightened himself, glancing down at Reba, then back to Teba. “Oh my goodness.”

“So…” Mom looked up to Sidon, then back to Teba, “I know you?”

“I’m your son,” Teba stated simply, not sure what the emotion sparking in the back of Mom’s eyes were. Was she happy? Was she upset? Was he saying too much? 

But no, the gravity of the situation couldn’t fully fall on anyone’s shoulders, because  _ Revali _ had to interrupt the ghostly silence: “The only thing I want to know is how in the  _ fuck _ this Twirp became a seven-foot tall  _ menace!” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW a lot happened but I am real happy with how this chapter turned out. Now. At this point. Hopefully things start to make more sense. Please for the love of god I hope things are starting to make more sense. But if they don't. Let me spell it out:
> 
> 1) While I'm writing with Age of Calamity in mind, full disclosure I am taking a LOT of creative liberties with (mostly) the characters I am bringing forward/introducing this chapter. If you need the extra help: Ru and Junior are characters that won't be introduced until the ~end~ of From the Goddesses Above (the fic that follows this for the new folks) or in the fic that'll follow THAT (I know). Part of Ru's and Junior's storyline is that Shit Happens and they end up passing through the Temple of Time. They get plopped into a time frame about 10 years post Calamity, where they met Reba. And then for reasons that I'm not explaining in this author's note, shit got wonkier and they ended up in AoC timeline too. 
> 
> 2) If you are STILL CONFUSED AFTER THAT please for the love of god trust the process and trust that Ru and Junior are characters whose stories are intersecting with the Champions' at the moment. They'll get their highlights later on you are not going to have the full picture in this fic because I'm about to take the choo choo train for Revali and Sidon having mutual "oh no he's hot" moments BECAUSE IT'S GAY. 
> 
> 3) Faro is a god damn disaster with a blue mullet and I love him. 
> 
> 4) Junior's unlimited capacity to Bully The Shit out of Sidon is giving me so much serotonin right now.


End file.
